The Guilt is Fresh

Summary: She watched her die. She caused her death. Lynette never thought that losing Nora would be so hard. OneShot

Disclaimer: I do not own Desperate Housewives. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this.

Author's Note: This is my first Desperate Housewives fic, but I would like you to still be as harsh in your reviews as you would be to someone who's done this before.

The memories, the images, the words. They were all printed freshly in her mind, haunting her. She may have gotten peace in her dreams that first night, but it was only temporary. When she awoke, she was left to stare at the ceiling, and all the memories would come pouring towards her, overcomiing her. Hurting her. Bringing the pain and the fear that she felt while in that grocery store back to life. The images of a dying Nora.

The death that she caused.

Had she said nothing about Nora trying to get Tom, then Nora wouldn't be dead. Maybe, just maybe, Lynette would have gotten shot in the heart by Carolyn instead. She wouldn't be responsible for Nora's death then, because Nora wouldn't have died. It was that simple. Lynette tattletaled on Nora, and Nora got shot in the heart. Shot, dying. And not a painless death, like from old age. Nora had been in pain. Pain that Lynette caused.

It didn't matter that Lynette tried to save her.

The napkins and paper towels didn't make a difference. It may have helped Nora stay alive a few seconds or minutes longer, but not enough to get her to an ambulance, where she'd get a true chance at survival. They had needed some real medical assistance. But Carolyn was too cold. Too cold to let them go out of the store to save a person. Save a dying human being.

Or was she too hurt?

Carolyn came off as cold. But she was hurt. Harvey had hurt her. Lynette had figured that out, as each of the hostages did. But who gets so hurt that they go around shooting strangers? Who gets so angry that they'll take it out on anyone, even someone they don't know? Who gets that angry at the world, especially if they were completely fine two hours before? Who finds a way to get that angry at someone? At everyone?

Apparently, Carolyn Bigsby.

She knew that her speech hadn't helped much. She knew that everyone was looking at her, eyes wide with slight amazement but with a lot of fear -- for her or for them, she didn't know. The words she said stuck in her mind -- mainly the one that had the most impact on Carolyn. "Maybe you deserved to be cheated on." That had gotten to Carolyn. Made her angrier. So angry that Lynette knew what was coming. It was obvious in her eyes, before she even tightened her grip on the gun. Lynette knew that Carolyn was going to shoot her. And now, Lynette knew that she owed her life to the new neighbor. Had he not thrown that can, she would probably be dead as well. Dead, dying, either one. Whether she would have made it to an ambulance or not was uncertain.

She could have been dead.

But she escaped with only a shot in the arm, which was starting to heal. That was the good news. The bad news was, whenever she had the chance to be alone, or whenever it was quiet, she thought. She could will her mind not to think, but it did anyway. It ignored her. It thought, went on to the memories that were still imprinted in the front of her brain, the memories of what had happened just a day before.

Nora's death.

For some reason, this bothered her greatly. But why? Why was she so concerned over someone that she thought she hated? Maybe because she was the cause, maybe because it was never supposed to happen like that. Nora was supposed to go to Mexico, and Kayla was supposed to live with her and Tom. After they sued for custody. Nora was supposed to be gone from their memory. Maybe not Kayla's, but that was understandable. But from Lynette's and Tom's memories, for sure. She was supposed to be just plain out gone.

Guess they got their wish.

But that wasn't how Lynette wanted it to turn out. She didn't want to have Nora die. Just go out of the country, that was all. Get away from their lives. Not this. Never, never, never this. And to think, she caused the death. She brought it upon Nora. Granted, Nora shoudn't have ever tried to seduce Tom, and had she not done that, there wouldn't be anything that would make Carolyn shoot her. Nothing at all.

Maybe that would be a bad thing.

They say that whatever is meant to be, happens. So that must mean that Nora was supposed to die. Yet that left so many unanswered questions. Questions that probably could never be answered. Questions so obvious. Why did she have to die? What was the reason behind it? Was Nora really so bad that she was supposed to die? Was it a good thing she died? If it was good, why did it haunt Lynette so much?

There were many others.

Numerous questions, questions that could not be answered. Questions that could probably never be answered, no matter how hard one tried to figure them out. They were there, floating around, and they always would be. They would always be straight in front of Lynette Scavo, never disappearing, always visible, even more visible when she shut her eyes. When you close your eyes, you're not supposed to see a thing. Not true in this instance. Closing your eyes just made everything more visible. Just made her relive the moments, the long amount of time they were stuck in the grocery store with that crazy woman.

"You cannot prevent what you cannot predict."

Mary Alice said that, in her dream. The last dream that Lynette had of Mary Alice. She knew it was just a dream, but what if it was really something more? What if those words meant more than what Lynette had thought? What if they gave some clues, some reassurance, that would help her get over Nora's death? "You cannot prevent what you cannot predict." The words rushed through Lynette's mind, over and over again, repeating themselves constantly. She reviewed every letter, the tone that she remembered her deceased friend speaking the words in; every single little detail. Everything.

Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't her fault.

The words slowed as Lynette felt one warm tear slide down her face. One single tear. As she realized something behind the words, something that was there even if it wasn't meant to be. She never knew that they would get caught up as hostages in the grocery store. She couldn't predict that. If she could have predicted that, she never would have gone. She never predicted that Nora would get shot and die; if she had, she wouldn't have uttered a single word. She had no power to prevent any of those happenings. She did, however, have the power to do one last thing for Nora. Something Lynette promised her in her final living moments.

Take care of Kayla like she was her own.

The door slid open slowly as Tom entered the room cautiously. But he soon realized that Lynette was awake, and went and sat at the seat beside her hospital bed. "It's going to be alright," he whispered, as if he was talking more to himself than her. He slowly took her hand to his own. She nodded slowly, but stopped as he added, "I just had to want hamburger. She turned to face him, and smiling faintly, she whispered one sentence to him.

"You can't prevent what you can't predict."