Author's Note: I have been reading fanfiction, for the first time, all summer. I am for any possible shippings that involve Olivia. Whether it's Olivia and Fin, Olivia and Alex, Olivia and Elliot…it doesn't matter.

I have also noticed that everyone states, before they write, that they own nothing.

Therefore, I do not own anything. Dick Wolf does…

I hope you enjoy my first steamy fanfic. If interested, I have two books published as well. You can find them online in the usual locations.

Thank you and, as they say, reviews are love!

Note: This takes place right after Alex's return from in season 10 after "Lead".

1

She struggled to keep her eyes open after seventy-eight hours without sleep. Sure, she caught a couple hours here and there in the cribs but they were far from sufficient. Her eyes flicked upward to the windshield as headlights flashed and then darted by, the lights jarring her from impending sleep.

As the car came to a stop, she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Liv? We're here," Elliot smiled. "Do you want some help up your stairs or do you think you can make it? I can walk you in, since it's almost midnight…"

"Wh-? No…I got it…thanks El…" she grabbed her duffel from the floorboard, opened the door, and got out, sticking her head back inside before closing the car door.

"Get some rest, Liv," he said, smirking, "you look like hell…"

"Thanks. You look gorgeous, too," she smiled.

She closed the door and continued talking through the opened window, "You get some rest, too. Thanks for the ride. I'll see you on Monday."

She turned and began walking towards her building, zigzagging from exhaustion in the process. Her eyes closed momentarily as she opened the main door. She didn't think she had ever felt this tired before. She was not only physically exhausted, but emotionally fatigued, as well.

Blinking hard and shaking her head, she approached the elevators, which were already, thankfully, open and waiting for her. In the midst of her weariness, she pressed the wrong floor before the correct one. Knowing she would be at least sixty-seconds later to her bed because of her fumbling, she leaned back into the corner of the gold-walled elevator and sighed, closing her eyes once again.

Alex Cabot.

She couldn't believe that the counselor was back in Manhattan. Had been back in Manhattan for God knows how long. At the end of the Lynwood trial, she had looked into the beautiful, statuesque ADA's eyes and mentioned something about her really being "back". Olivia had meant that remark to be a double entendre. Or did she? Yes, Alexandra Cabot was back physically, picking up her career where she had left it, but was she back like she had been before, emotionally…mentally?

The doors opened on the second floor as Olivia continued to keep her eyes closed, knowing she had one more flight.

Olivia's body felt like lead as she struggled to keep her legs standing. She leaned her head back against the corner and yawned heartily, not bothering to hide it.

The doors closed and this time they would take her to her floor.

The loud grumbling of her stomach suddenly reminded her that she had not eaten much over the past three days—picking on a salad here and there, a Power Bar, a few pots of coffee. She was tired, weak, and ready for a two day weekend.

The doors of the elevator opened with a clang, shaking Olivia from yet another attempt at rest. She pulled her duffle higher on her shoulder as she exited and reached in her coat pocket for her key. Unlocking her door, she pushed inside and closed it, dropping her duffle on the floor and locking the deadbolt.

Home at last.

She removed her long black coat, threw it over a kitchen stool, and then began languidly walking down her hallway, removing her blazer and letting it fall to the floor, and then unbuttoning her blouse and lifting it from her pants. Reaching her bedroom, she discarded the rest of her clothes, leaving only her panties. She then took her oversized "I Love NY" t-shirt from her t-shirt drawer and slipped it over her head.

She knew she should eat something, but all she wanted to do was crawl under the covers and be enveloped by the warmth of her queen-sized bed.

Forcing herself, she entered the bathroom, flicking the switch on and squinting at the brightness. She squeezed toothpaste onto her toothbrush and shoved it in her mouth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Alexandra Cabot is here.

She began brushing more vigorously, willing the tears away. That was over five years ago that they had become so close. She shouldn't be upset about it anymore. Five years is enough time to get over someone, to move on and forget that you ever loved them.

The tears were now rolling down Olivia's cheeks, mercilessly wetting the chest of her t-shirt. She wasn't even aware that they were falling until she looked at herself in the mirror, once more, after rinsing.

She patted her mouth dry and applied lip balm, still eyeing her reflection.

Alex has moved on. She doesn't feel the same any longer.

Olivia's lower lip began to tremble and she looked at herself, crying like a buffoon. She suddenly clenched her jaw and raised her chin, determined to be stronger.

Taking a deep breath, she looked once more, steeling her eyes and turning off the light. She walked to her bed and threw the quilt and sheet back, slipping inside the comfort of her bed. She leaned over and switched the bedside lamp off and then leaned back, once again, on the pillows, closing her eyes.

No, Alex Cabot was not back in her life and Olivia had to deal with that fact. True, she was living in the same city again, but they both had different lives now. Things had changed. Life had moved on. Olivia didn't know anything about Alex's life and what was going on in it. For all Olivia knew, Alex could be married…

Fresh, salty tears began forming once again. She had held in her emotions over this woman for the past three tortuous days, having to work so closely with her on this case, and now her feelings were gushing forth, like a broken dam.

Olivia rolled onto her side to face the bedroom window as the glow from the moon cast itself onto the floor and bed. Olivia cried from exhaustion, she cried for what was once had with Alex and herself, and she cried for five years of heartache.

Olivia soon succumbed to the slumber that her body and mind needed so desperately.