Agent Kramer Regrets

by peppe1951

Summary: An amusing look as to what could have happened if Kramer made good his threat and took Neal back to DC with him.

Agent Kramer Regrets

By Peppe1951

Summary: An amusing look as to what could have happened if Kramer made good his threat and took Neal back to DC with him. Warning: The story contains non-consent spanking of an adult; if you don't like, don't read. Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to USA; I only write about it.

AN: This is an AU story where corporal punishment is an allowed means of punishment.

Chapter 1

It had been three months since Neal went away. He hadn't gone away willingly either, but had been dragged back by the Marshals at Agent Kramer's orders to serve as his CI in DC. The day had started out so well too, they had just come down from the celebration party the night before...not the celebration of having his sentence commuted, but a celebration in getting away from Agent Kramer with regards to the Raphael painting Neal was returning to Sterling Bosch Insurance. After all Neal had gone through to return the painting, it looked like Agent Kramer was going to win, but when it was at his darkest hour Peter had saved the day. He had persuaded Sara to talk with her boss to agree to a scheme he had come up with to save Neal from the fate of serving Kramer for life, and it had worked. As Kramer was fuming and reading the documents that had authorized Neal to authenticate the Raphael; Peter, Neal and Sara were celebrating their win...and then the next day it all came tumbling down and Neal was dragged away without even being able to tell his family and friends goodbye.

On the eve of being told whether he had won his commutation or not, Agent Kramer and the Marshals had appeared and Neal had been arrested for endangering the lives of the citizens travelling on the tram when he had jumped from one to the other in his flight from Kramer. It was then that Peter knew that his former mentor would stoop to any level and pull up any crime to keep Neal shackled to him for life as his CI. Kramer had been so jealous of Neal's and Peter's conviction rate that he would do anything to have it as well, even steal Peter's partner and friend away. So he had only time to give Neal one last embrace and promise to tell everyone about this injustice before Neal was led away.

The White Collar unit continued as always to solve crimes, but it wasn't as fun to come to work as it had been when Neal had been there...he had become the life of the unit. Peter was caught up in that memory when he heard a knock at the door and looked up into Diana's smiling face and felt a hope reappear within him.

"Neal?" Peter asked and to his delight Diana nodded and her smile grew.

"Agent Kramer has just arrived and he brought Neal with him: I think the fact that Neal is in cuffs might be an indication that he doesn't want him anymore," Diana added with a grin.

Peter rushed out to see for himself and saw that it was Kramer indeed and Neal was being pulled along. It didn't take him long to hurry down the stairs or to approach the pair. Neal was a sight to behold…he looked exhausted and had lost way too much weight. "Neal! It's great to see you," and only then turning to greet his old mentor he was shocked to see that he looked even worse than Neal.

"So are you bringing him back to us Phillip?" Peter asked trying to be a civil as he possibly could.

"Yes, take him…I don't want to even lay eyes on him ever again…he has been nothing but a headache and a pain in my ass since he arrived. I think he has jinxed my department and instead of helping it to improve in its conviction rate thanks to him it has plummeted," Kramer snarled as he quickly freed the cuffs from around Neal's wrist and pushed him away.

"Neal your old desk is waiting for you…why don't you make some calls and announce your return while Agent Kramer and I talk," instructed Peter with a grin.

Peter turned to invite Kramer to his office only to see the man hurry off in the direction of the men's room. He walked back to Neal's desk to talk, timing it just as he hung up.

"I just called Mozzie to tell him I had arrived," offered Neal before asking, "you wanted to say something, Peter?"

"I figured that your exhaustion and weight loss is due to Kramer's overworking you to improve his conviction rate….but why does he look even worse than you?"

"He's had some sort of gastric condition since I arrived," Neal replied vaguely and before Peter could ask for further information Kramer returned and he invited him upstairs to talk.

"So having Neal on your team hasn't been what you hoped it would be?" Peter asked after both he and Kramer had sat down.

Kramer shook his head, "No, I thought that he would pick up and continue with us as he had with you. I felt that you were not controlling him in the right manner…that he just needed to know who was boss and he would settle down and begin his work. I wasn't going to make the same mistakes you had…we weren't going to be close enough for him to take advantage of me."

Peter bristled up at the accusations Kramer had hinted to but swallowed his anger and asked, "Is that why he is so exhausted and has lost so much weight?"

"I was only making sure that he would be too exhausted to try anything illegal…work them hard and they won't have the energy to get into any trouble," boasted Kramer.

"Neal slept at my house in the same side apartment that my CI had so many years ago. That way I could keep an eye on him. I woke him at five each morning and we were at work by six and kept him working into the wee hours of the night. I made sure he got breakfast and provided him with lunch and supper."

"Yeah but I bet he was too tired to eat his supper. Phillip, he isn't used to that sort of work schedule, it's no wonder he's lost so much weight! But how come you look worse?" Peter asked with masked concern.

"I don't know Petey; I was feeling fine until Caffrey arrived, maybe it was just nerves that caused my condition, but it would run me crazy and then suddenly stop only to return a few days later," explained Kramer as he suddenly got up for another run to the men's room.

"I bet my last dollar that Neal put something in his food as retaliation for Kramer's treatment of him," murmured Peter to himself as he suddenly looked in Neal's direction to see him looking back with a grin on his face.

Taking advantage of Kramer's absence, Peter asked Diana to type up a special document for Kramer to sign that in a nutshell said that he would give up all interests in Neal, and not do anything to prevent his release after Neal's current sentence is served. He hurried back to his office to await his old mentor's return….which he did a few minutes later.

Kramer apologized for leaving so abruptly again and concluded, "Well whatever this is, it can't be because of Neal because I'm still suffering from it and he's not my responsibility any longer. I guess I'm going to have to take my doctor's advice and have a colonoscopy after all."

Peter nodded sympathetically on the outside, while smiling on the inside. "So Phillip how did your conviction ratings plummet so rapidly?"

"It was your boy's fault in most of the cases…he somehow managed on all but two occasions to compromise his identity while undercover to alert the criminals, and they took off before we could spring the trap. And then there were several cases where we had them dead to rights on having stolen property in their possessions, but when we sprung the trap, all that was discovered were replicas of the famous art that were on display…it was like they were alerted that we were about to spring the trap and got rid of the evidence in time to make us look foolish. Petey I know that Caffrey was somehow responsible, but I could never prove it…I even gave him a polygraph test on two occasions which he passed with flying colors. But I know he is guilty of that as well as the porn and gambling that was found on my computer…my gut tells me that he is responsible," Kramer said venomously as he clutched his stomach as another pain threatened to overtake him.

"If you can't prove it and your only means of proof is your gut, the same gut I might add that you are having trouble with, then if I were you I would just let it go… Caffrey is no longer your problem… He's mine!" Peter said emotionally.

Kramer's eyes widen as he recognized the raw emotion in Peter's voice and nodded.

"Before you leave I want it in writing that you won't pursue him ever again. That you will leave him here with me in New York City; that you will allow him his freedom once he has served his sentence and you won't ever try to extend his sentence with any of his alleged crimes!" Peter said seriously as he nodded to Diana, who quickly brought him the before mentioned document needing only Agent Kramer's signature at the bottom.

"Sure whatever you say…let me sign it and get out of here," Kramer said frantically as he signed his name at the right places and received a copy before bolting for the restroom once again.

"Boss do you think Neal had something to do with Agent Kramer's health condition?" asked Diana as she watched Kramer leave.

"Yes, in fact I think he is guilty of all of Agent Kramer's problems whether they be health or work related and we are going to have a long 'discussion' about them tonight after our party to celebrate his return," Peter replied grimly before turning back to Diana to invite her and the whole team to his house for the party. "Remember it starts at seven and bring a date if you like."

By the time Kramer had left the rest room for his return home he caught Peter at the elevators. "Petey you have got to tell me how you control Caffrey?" he pleaded.

Peter took pity on Kramer and leaning in whispered, "Well, it took us a little while, but eventually El and I noticed that in reality Neal was just a big kid who wanted attention and love, so we started to give him love and understanding and he eventually started to settle down… He still screwed up at times but we would just treat him like he was our child," explained Peter solemnly.

Agent Kramer looked at Peter in disbelief and asked, "That was all it took to control him?"

"Yep…and a good spanking when he needed it," Peter said seriously as he dropped the bombshell, "and if you repeat any of this, I'll send him back to help you with your conviction rate again."

Agent Kramer got the message and quickly left Peter standing there laughing.

Chapter 2

By ten thirty the party was swinging as Neal was regaling his friend and family of how life was in DC working under Kramer.

"He's a slave driver and wanted me to treat him as lord and master. He was much worse than when Peter sent me to find files the first few months of my working here."

"Yeah, I learned early to never to do that again because I couldn't be sure of what he would bring back," laughed Peter.

"Well, Kramer wanted me to be his gopher and bring him his coffee and to be ready to bring it as soon as he had finished a cup," remarked Neal with a smirk that Peter recognized all too well.

"What did you do to the coffee?"

"Put Metamucil in it," Neal replied with a straight face as the room exploded with laughter. "You see no one was allowed to drink his coffee, so the rest of his team wasn't affected by it," Neal hastened to explain.

"You took a big chance if he had noticed the grit," replied El with a twinkle to her eye.

"Oh, I used the clear version. It advertises as being 'a flavor-free, taste-free and grit-free way' of adding fiber to your diet. The directions called for a heaping teaspoon, which equaled five grams of fiber, to be taken three times a day. So I added a heaping teaspoon each time he made me replenish his cup...I dare say that he was getting anywhere from fifteen to fifty grams of fiber daily," Neal said innocently.

"And didn't he notice his frequency of going to the men's room?" asked June.

"Do you know that it took a couple of days before it became such a problem that he had to go to the doctor to get some relief?" replied Neal as he began to laugh.

"I would wait a few days before starting it back up again. I felt that since it was because of him that I was losing weight then he would too."

"So you were one major pain in the ass the whole time you were there?" summed up Peter with a smile.

"Oh, yeah...and I'm sure that Kramer regrets ever taking me away and will continue to do so until he finishes his special blend coffee since I dumped a full bottle of Metamucil in it!"

"So that explains his behavior this morning after he brought you home," remarked Peter.

"Yep, not only did he have his morning cup while at home but he had a whole thermos of it for the trip back here… He used the restroom constantly for the flight home," Neal explained with a smile.

"You do you realize that since he couldn't explain about his gastric problems he's going to follow his doctor's suggestion and have a colonoscopy?" Peter informed his friend.

"It couldn't happen to a nicer man," Neal replied as his friends and colleagues laughed. None of them had liked the way Kramer had treated their boss any more than the way Neal had been treated and thought it was just punishment.

"What did you do to sabotage his efforts to improve his conviction rate?" asked Diana.

"Well, one occasions while undercover I let it slip about the Art Division of the FBI being alerted to the fact of a location of where stolen art was being kept…and would you believe that they exchanged that art for replicas," Neal replied innocently.

"Weren't you scared of what Kramer would do if he knew?" asked El as she glanced at Peter for his reaction.

"I was his slave for life; what could he have done that would have been worse," countered Neal as he skirted the question.

"Neal!" Neal turned to see his friend Mozzie handling him a goblet of wine. "It's a 1961 Château Latour to celebrate your return. I know that this is a vast improvement over the wine you drank while in DC," the little man stated as he watched Neal inhale the glass and asked for more.

"Would you believe that Kramer brought me a case of wine when I first arrived? He told me to make it last as long as possible?" Neal said as he began another story.

"And did you?" asked Sara who had just arrived.

"It's still sitting where he left it," replied Neal with a wince at the memory.

"Why? Wasn't it any good?"

"Well, do you remember me telling you of the times when Peter would come over for us to work on a case and he would bring himself a six pack of beer and me a bottle of wine with a screw top that cost as much as his beer?" Sara and the others nodded as they gave Peter bemused glances.

"Well after seeing what Kramer brought me, I would have rather have Peter's choice. Kramer brought me the cheapest and most low end wine he could find; he brought me a case of Mogen David wine…it was way too sweet for my palate," replied Neal. "But I paid him back…I exchanged a bottle of his wine for a bottle of wine vinegar…I could hear him roar from my apartment. You see he had a date with someone from accounting and they had returned to his house for a nightcap and Kramer served the wine he had been chilling for the last two days…the one I emptied and replaced with the vinegar… Well let's just say that she left soon afterwards and gave him the evil eye the next day during work."

The group roared with laughter and even Peter couldn't help but join in. He felt that it was just a reward for what Kramer had done to Neal three months earlier. He left to refill his glass and joined them after Neal had drunk a few more glasses of wine and was not so careful with his words,

"... there was the strangest thing that happened to Kramer after I had been there for about a month...he was busted for having porn...can you believe that it was found on his own computer at the FBI...eventually it was determined that someone had gotten a hold of his credit card and bought the disgusting stuff and even tipped Vice about where it could be found. Kramer had to do some fast talking to get himself out of that mess... But I kept my focus on solving cases and not into the personal life of my handler," Neal said solemnly as he took another swallow.

"Although while his computer was in Vice's hands being checked out; it was also discovered that he had been gambling and while on company time… It too was traced back to his credit card. Vice surmised that whoever had planted the porn had also downloaded the gambling sites to his computer and other than a few moments of embarrassment for Kramer nothing more was done," Neal added angrily as he let his emotions come to the surface.

That story didn't bring the laughter as the other stories had and after glancing at Peter the group started to drift away leaving Neal with only Sara, Peter, June and Mozzie; and the way that Mozzie was looking at Neal, Peter knew who had helped Neal pull off those last two scenarios.

"Neal, I have to go now. I have to be in San Francisco tomorrow afternoon about a case, but as soon as I get back we will have to go out, okay love," Sara said as she gave him a goodbye peck on the cheek before leaving.

It only took Mozzie to catch Peter's disapproving glare for him to make his goodbyes as well, leaving Neal in the hands of his surrogate father, Peter, and June.

"Peter I understand that some of the stuff Neal did in DC was predicable for the way Kramer hounded him and took him away from us, but I'm concerned with these last two incidents of retaliation," she said as she gave Neal a disapproving look and a smack to his backside as she added,

"Baby, you know better."

Neal looked defiant with the accusation, "He deserved it June," as he took another sip of wine.

"Peter I'm going to leave this up to you to correct," she said as she gave Neal a kiss on the cheek and whispered in his ear, "I'm glad to have you back, son," as she hugged him tightly.

Neal returned her hug and kissed her on the cheek as he replied emotionally, "It's good to be back and back into my apartment as well."

"Come on son, it is way past your bedtime," Peter murmured in Neal's ear as he put Neal's glass down on the nearest coaster and walk him towards his guests. "But first you need to tell your guests good night and thank them for coming," he added firmly.

If Peter thought that Neal would come easily, he was sadly mistaken because as soon as Neal caught sight of Jones and Diana he eagerly answered another one of their questions.

"So Neal did you have any trouble finding other street sources?" asked Jones as he tried to steer the conversation to a safer topic.

"Well, here I had sources to go to...like Mozzie...but I had no one in DC. Kramer thought that I would have no trouble in getting other sources even after I told him that it would take time...time he didn't have, so I started making up information...delaying his efforts. It really didn't matter, since his team had sources to fall back on that came forth with the information needed to take the felons down...it's just that it didn't work as quickly or smoothly as it did here with Peter and me working together. I knew that Peter had my back, I didn't have that with Kramer...I had to look out for myself."

"And with that we are going to have to let this welcome back party come to an end," announced Peter, "some of us have to work tomorrow…even my new CI," as Neal started to argue.

"And you and I have several things to discuss before bedtime," Peter whispered in Neal's ear which ended his arguments immediately.

"Thank you all for coming; it's so nice to see that I was missed and we must do it again sometime," Neal said as he watched his guests leave.

"El thanks so much for doing this for me," Neal said as he grabbed his coat and made to follow his guests out the door. He only got as far as the door before Peter grabbed him by the upper arm and turned him around.

"Not so fast buddy…we have much to discuss before you go to bed tonight and we might as well start with the porn and the credit card used to buy it," he announced as he pulled Neal towards the dining room table.

Chapter 3

"But Peter he deserved it…he took me away from my family and friends," argued Neal as he just admitted to the caper without realizing it.

"And you did something so foolish in retaliating in this way…what if you had been caught…this would have sent you back to prison for years with no chance of ever serve again as my CI. Did you even think on how it could have come out?" lectured Peter as his hands went to his belt buckle and he began to loosen and remove it from its loops.

Neal shook his head, "I only wanted him to suffer like he made me suffer. I was so lonely there with no friends…without you…and Elizabeth and the others. I was just so desperate that I was willing to try anything to get him to send me away. I m-missed my f-famil-yyy….I missed my D-Dad," Neal broke down as his emotions burst over.

Peter was there in an instant and pulled the younger man into his arms and held him until Neal was able to gain control of his emotions once again. "And we…I missed you too, buddy. Do you know how quiet and calm the office has been these last three months without you there to liven things up," Peter replied with a chuckle. "But we have got to handle your misbehavior now and how I might have lost you if you had been caught in the act of committing these two serious crimes of retaliation, so drop your pants and bend over the table. I'm going to give you thirty licks for this stupid scheme of retaliation against Kramer which will cover the gambling as well as the porn. I'm should be glad that you didn't do anything worse, like dabble with kiddie porn," ordered Peter as he watched the younger man hesitate for a moment before obeying.

As Neal bent over with only his boxers as protection from the belt, he realized too late what he had admitted to and put his head in his arms as he nervously awaited the first lick. When it came he cried out with pain. He had learned from early on that it did no good to keep his cries within, since they would eventually come out, as the spanking continued and Peter didn't think any less of him for showing his emotions. It didn't take long before the tears joined his cries as Peter placed lick after lick on his upturned backside, but what did surprise him was when halfway through the spanking Peter paused.

"Neal when you left us three months ago I vowed to find some way to get you back. I have worked steadily for some plan that would have you released back into our hands and felt that I had discovered that I had, with the statute of limitations for the suspected case of security fraud that Kramer used to extend your sentence for an additional ten years. The case he put together that convicted you took place six years ago… The statute of limitations was for five years, so he couldn't have used it against you; a little item he failed to tell the courts. I have since ratified that and your sentence has been reduced to four years. But if they had caught you while you were setting Kramer up with that porn and gambling scheme, you would have been put back in prison with no chance of being released as a CI, much less as my CI, and for that you are getting the next fifteen licks on your bare bottom," explained Peter as he stepped forward and pushed Neal's boxers down, exposing his red backside to the remainder of his punishment.

Neal only had time to yell "Noooo!" before the remainder of the licks fell and set his backside on fire. Peter focused these licks to Neal's sit spots assuring that he would feel them whenever he sat for the next few days.

Neal sobbed, but Peter didn't falter as he finished punishing Neal for his foolhardiness in seeking revenge and when it was over he gently pulled the boxers back up and helped him to his room upstairs where El was waiting with a pair of loose fitting sweatpants and a comfortable t-shirt. She had the bed sheets pulled down and after giving him a kiss goodnight left her husband to actually get him into bed which didn't take that long at all.

Peter paused at the door to turn off the lights when Neal spoke up, "Good Night Peter…it's great to be back home again."

"Are you warm enough or will you need another blanket?" asked Peter as he realized the coolness in the room.

"I'm toasty thanks to that spanking you just gave me," complained Neal.

Peter came back and sat on the edge of his bed, "That is also a reminder of what you can expect if you try any of those shenanigans you did while in DC, on me or my team. Neal you are too talented and smart to be whiling away your time in prison. I hope you realize just how much you are loved and respected here," Peter added as he leaned down to kiss the top of his head as any father would. "Sleep well buddy and I'll see you in the morning; El is planning a breakfast of all of your favorite things," and returned to the light switch to turn the lights off when Neal asked,

"Do you think that Kramer regrets taking me away in the first place?"

"I'm sure of it, son; especially every time he has a cup of his special blend coffee," Peter said with a straight face as he turned off the lights and left. A smile lit up his face as he heard Neal laughing in the background.

The End