This song is ANGEL by Sarah MacLachlan. It's a great song, go and listen!!!
Spend all you time waiting
For a second chance
For a break that would make it okay
People tell me it's alright. I wish it was alright but it's not. I suppose I'm waiting for someone to tell me it's a dream, for someone who will tell me I can go back and live that night a second time.
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
All the ifs – if I had done this, if only I had not done that. Those moments when my actions determined the ending. They seem to haunt me perpetually. I am never alone for guilt is with me constantly. I wish I had made the right decisions.
Need some distraction
A beautiful release
Memory seep from my veins
I wish something would take my mind off it, but nothing can for more than a second. I wish to forget, I wish for that impossible release.
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
All the things I've done, all the things I caused. I want them to go away, I want them never to have happened. I want ignorance and the chance that maybe I can close my eyes without finding myself back there.
In the arms of the angels
Fly away from here
I want to leave. I want to get away from here, and from myself.
From the dark, cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
This familiar place seems different now, cold and dark. Dead. And it will never end, it just goes on and on and on.
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
I can make myself believe it is not real, but reminders of what I have done bring me back to reality in a terrifying instant. I can not believe it, and I do not want to.
You're in the arms of the angels
May you find some comfort here
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hope he is at peace now. I hope he would forgive me.
So tired of this straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves your back
It's never going to end. The killing, the darkness. Every time I think perhaps now it is over, perhaps that was all. But it was not all. We fight, we refuse to give in but we never win and we're never going to.
Storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
Everything is insane, people rushing around, working, fighting and wondering what's going to happen to us now. Not your fault, people say. I know, I say, and I'm lying because I could have stopped it.
Don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
The glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
I don't know what to do any more. I am so exhausted, I have given up trying to smile. It's taken everything out of me, all this, and I can hardly think.
Doesn't matter now, does it. I can't go back, but I want so much to escape.
From another's point of view I suppose it seems much more real. It is no worse for me but I never thought I would cause another's death.
Suddenly everything has changed. Believing we are safe is stupid.