Poke Pimpin'
Written by Liberate Ayane
A/N- This is Gold and Silver stuff. My name for the trainer and his girlfriend from Crystal (To Be Released in 2001) is... mine. Ask before using. Moving along.- Liberate Ayane
Josh got out his Chikorita, Togechick, Charmander, Pupurin (US Name Igglybuff) and Rediba. He was all set to do something most Pokemon Trainers would never do-
Pimp Pokemon.
"Yup, today is gonna be grand! I'm gonna make a cool 200 hundred today with these babies... except for Pupurin of course."
"You better not Pimp me!"
"Oh be quiet Pupurin, or else I'll call you Igglybuff."
"OH NO!"
"Much better."
The door to Josh's apartment room rang and he ran to get it, leaping over Chikorita.
"Watch it cowboy!"
At the door, was his girlfriend Lilac.
"Hiya Josh! Whazzup?"
"Nothing' much. Just about to pimp Pokemon today."
"Again?"
"Yup. Pays the bills."
"You've been doin' that since you were 13!"
"Well so? I started last year!"
Lilac groaned and walked inside the 14 year-old's Johto Apartment. It amazed her that he was living there all by himself. Moving along, Josh came out with his Pokemon... and then some.
"GOD MAN! You have, what? All 251?"
"I 'pose so. Nahhh, just kidding. Well, time to take them to market and then head over to the SS Anne and make Ash Ketchum and his broad Misty look like PokeDopes!"
"I honestly do not know why I dumped Brock for you."
"He's nothing! C'mon babies, lesssgo!"
"Great... off to the PokeBreeding corner." Chikorita groaned. Pupurin jumped into Lilac's arms and fell asleep.
Later that Day, at the Johto PokePimp Corner, Josh was trying his best...
"Perhaps we need to up the ante and get a cruise ship."
"You've been watching too much of that Jay-Z video Josh!"
"Oh come on Charmander! It's funny!"
"Funny for you people.... I don't like the idea of women being used as sex objects."
"Oh lighten up! Oh look!"
There came Ash with his pimpin' hat and PokeCane, Pikachu with a bunch of PikaChicks and Misty wearing a leather shirt with leather panties. Josh nearly fainted.
"Ohhh.... I'm in trouble."
"Josh! Nice to see ya!"
"Oh shut up Ash."
"Trying to be the best PokePimp Master?"
"Hey, at least I _WORK_ to get my Pokemon. I don't act all Mary Sue ya know."
"In this story, at this point you are a Mary Sue."
"WHAT? I'm the hero of Pokemon Gold, Silver and Crystal!"
Ash sighed and got out a cool twenty. Lilac took it and showcased the Pokemon.
"Perhaps you'd like a Chikorita, or a Togechick!"
"That reminds me... Togepi's gotta evolve soon..."
"If ya quit being so motherly to it maybe it will evolve!" Josh chimed in, laughing with Charmander.
"Okay then, no deal."
With that, Ash walked away and Lilac hit Josh upside the head.
"YOU IDIOT! YOU MISSED OUT ON A TWENTY!"
"HAHAHAHA!" Chikorita, Togechick, Pupurin, Rediba and Chamder laughed.
"It's not funny! Arrrgh... time to hit the SS Anne..."
"It took off a few minutes ago."
"DAMN IT!"
And so..... they went home.... but not before kicking Misty down.
"OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!"
"HAHAHAHA!"
"YOU LITTLE JERK!"
"At least I'm not Ash's sex slave in those Pokemon Stories!"
"HEY!!!!!!!! It's tabloid talk!"
With that, Misty chased Josh around and into the distance. Lilac sighed and walked away with Josh's Pokemon.
"Will he ever learn?" Togechick asked.
"Probably never." Rediba answered.
"HEY! I was asking Lilac the question." Togechick yelled.
"Whatever." Redibal said again.
*The End*
Hope you all like this off-beat Poke Series. It might continue, maybe with a parody of Monty Python and the holy Grail.- Liberate Ayane