Shoujo-ai

"Let's not think about tomorrow."
Everything is Perfect Now

My stomach fluttered as I listened to her sweet voice flood my mind, distracting me from the stress school and my parents gave me. Nadeshiko giggled softly and continued telling me about her day. I wasn't paying attention at all to the story. I was only concentrated on her voice. There was so much emotions and over exaggeration in her clear words. I closed my eyes and stretched my small smile wider.

"How was your day, Rima?" She asked me when she finally finished.

"Oh, you know. . . Same as always." I said vaguely and felt my cheeks burn slightly in embarrassment. Not because of my day; nothing really happened, it was boring as always. I was blushing at my short answer. Unlike Nadeshiko, who went off describing every detail of her days, I kept it short and left her out of my new life, feeding the distance between us even more. It's been over a months since I left my old town and moved into the city, leaving the countryside behind, leaving my childhood friend behind. . .maybe forever. I narrowed my eyes then cleared my throat, determined to be like her and ignore the distance. It wasn't going to ruin our friendship.

And so, like her, I talked, telling her about everything and soon I found myself crying as I let out all the pain I've been holding from all the new changes. Nadeshiko's caring instincts immediately took over her and she tried to cheer me up through the phone, whispering and cooing me things she knew would have worked, but it wasn't enough. Her voice wasn't enough anymore.

I wanted her here with me, to hold me like she would have been doing now and let me cry into her chest. I wanted to breathe in her calming, jasmine scent while she ran her long, elegant fingers through my golden locks, making my sobs slowly stop. I wanted to fall asleep in her lap, my arms wrapped around her waist as she softly hummed lullabies. I wanted to wake up refreshed the next day in her arms and sleeping face.

My tears began to fall harder as I went over this. Nadeshiko didn't know how much her small touches meant to me. She didn't know about the emotions I felt for her. It's all friendly consoling. She would never think of me the same way I do about her.

"I-I want to hug you." I choked out. And more. So much more.

"I do too, Rima. I wish I was there too. I miss you. . . I miss you so much." Her voice cracked slightly, and I knew tears were falling down her own cheeks. My heart clawed at me angrily for causing her to cry. Biting my lip, I entered the familiar battle between my heart and mind. One wanted to tell Nadeshiko my feelings regardless of what would come next, while the other held me back, reminding me of rejection. For the first time, my heart won, and I found myself blurting absolutely everything.

I told her that I was in love with her.

Nadeshiko inhale sharply as I whispered those three harmless words that made the most 'ridiculous sentence.' I thought it was silly how serious people took it. 'It's just a stupid sentence,' I used to say, but now that I was in their shoes I finally understood it all. It wasn't just a sentence. I was serious. I loved her. I loved Nadeshiko. No matter what.

For what seemed like the longest time, she didn't respond. I couldn't even hear her breathing. My tears trickled slowly down my face. I clenched my jaws tightly, regretfully. Digging my nails into my free palm and cellphone, I opened my mouth to apologize, but instead gasped as she repeated the same words I hesitantly whispered before with much more control I would have ever imagined she would have.

"And I love you, Rima."

What the hell did I just write⎯?

Inspired by Rima preferring Nadeshiko instead of Nagihiko [in the manga] . . . even though they're the same person and Freezepop's song "Swimming Pool." If you have heard that song and know that it's an opening for The L Word, you will obviously understand why I made Nadeshiko well, a girl. And the title will kinda make sense too. That part of the song was literally screaming at me while I tried to come up with a title for this.

No cross-dressing. It really is a female Nadeshiko.
Nagihiko doesn't exist.
No honorifics since in this alternate universe because Rima and Nadeshiko are very, very close friends.
I also made Nadeshiko smell like jasmine because I didn't want her to smell like cherry blossoms. It's overused.

Review if you want. :)