Her hands were smaller than his were. Such a rare thing really. It wasn't often he found someone smaller, more delicate than he was.
Her fingers wrapped around his with a kind of innocence he'd never felt he should have been allowed to know. There had been so many years through his life that all he'd felt was dirty. Dirty, and unworthy of anything like this.
Erwin Smith had changed that. He'd given him this chance. The chance to see her eyes half lidded with sleep. The chance to have her fingers wrap around his.
She was something so far from anything the underworld had ever given him. She wasn't a golden elephant on a silver platter with emeralds for eyes, nor was she the last known tiger in existence. She was something so much more.
He cared for her so much more than that.
Or he had.
Those weren't her fingers.
Her fingers were far beyond the wall. Her grave was empty. Her body was broken in a forest of trees that reached high enough to touch heaven's soles. He wondered if they'd be able to carry her that high. If she'd climb them, and be able to reach it now. Petra had always dreamed of paradise.
His hand was wrapped in the sheets, emitting it's own warmth to be radiated back to it.
It was dark, and Petra was dead somewhere far away. She'd taken them all with her, he realized as he swung his feet over the edge of the mattress, and sat up. They were all gone. Every single one of them.
How many friends had he lost?
His leg screamed when he stood up, one hand braced against the wall, and tried to count the names. Petra. Erd. Gunter. Auro. Add four to the count, he silently mused as he limped bare footed down the hallways, and staircases of the old Castle barracks.
Yeager was sleeping in his cell when Levi found him, and eased down into the guard's chair, unable to see much in the low light. He could have lit a sconce. He could have lifted the darkness, but he didn't, afraid to wake the boy. Afraid to show his weakness, but still unable to sit not knowing if he'd loose someone else.
Petra had been the kind of beautiful person no one ever really believed had the capability of existing. She'd stayed light even under all the weight. The weight of the walls.
He slid his leg out in front of him to ease the ache, and wondered if he deserved that small bit of comfort. He hadn't been able to bring her back after all. Her father had been waiting. He'd been waiting too.
Once, she'd jokingly told him that he would have to marry her. She'd told him so many things. That she didn't care that Erwin would always come first in the end. That she wouldn't mind that he was broken. He'd really thought about making that joke a reality on several occasions. He really had wondered if he loved her.
His face felt damp when he heard Yeager sit up, and ask if someone was there. He didn't say anything though. He didn't. Instead he stared at his lap, the empty hands in it, and wondered why he hadn't made it different.
Why hadn't he stopped thinking, and started talking while he had time? Why, if he was humanity's strongest soldier, hadn't he been strong enough to be there? To save her.
She'd told him she loved him, and he'd always been silent in response. Too scared to open his mouth, and let himself talk about things he didn't know.
"Is someone there?" Eren asked again.
Levi took a deep breath, and heard him gasp quietly.
"Corporal?"
"Yeah?" he asked, trying to sound as hard as he normally did. He felt his voice quiver in his throat, and silently cursed himself for failing again. For letting emotion dictate the face he wore.
"Are you alright?"
"Leg hurts."
"Are you crying?"
"No."
Silence stretched between them as Levi stubbornly refused to wipe his face, and give himself away. They stared at each other, and were each acutely aware that this was needed. This was needed to make sure they really had come back.
Even when no one else had.