*Reality Show*

By SpikesPuppy

Summary/Description

Buffy dreams she's a contestant on a reality dating show. Xander's the Host and Angel, Spike and Riley are her prospective dates. Also, the rest of the Scoobies are various family members/friends.

Disclaimer

All the characters belong to Joss & Co/Mutant Enemy/20th Century Fox.blah blah. This is for FUN; I will make no profit from this fiction.

Author's notes

This is my first fanfic that I'm sharing with people other than friends/family.so please be kind! Or, if you must, be cruel.I've gotta know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong to get better, right?

I hope you all enjoy reading this! It's such a fun fic to write.

Prologue

It was almost 3am when Buffy returned home from a tough night Slaying. She poured herself a small glass of orange juice before making her way up the stairs to her bedroom. As her hand met her bedroom door, she heard a voice.

"Buffy?"

Buffy turned to see Willow leaving the bathroom. "Hey Will. I didn't wake you, did I?" Buffy had an apologetic expression on her face.

Willow shook her red hair "Nope. Just needed to pee" She smiled.

Buffy smiled back at her "Okay. Is Dawn in bed? And did she finish her History assignment?"

Willow nodded "Check and check"

"Great" Buffy said. "I'm about to drop, so I'll see you in the morning? Later in the morning" She emphasized.

"Of course. Night, Buff"

"Night, Will"

The girls then went to their respective bedrooms.

In less than 5 minutes Buffy had changed into her pyjamas and was asleep almost before her head hit her pillow. While she slept, she dreamed.

Chapter 1

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to this very special episode of 'Dating the Demon'. Here's your fantabulous host- Xander Harris!" The voice-over boomed from the speakers to every corner of the television studio, which was packed with humans and demons alike.

The crowed cheered, and whooped and clapped as Xander walked out onto the romantically-decked-out-in- reds-and-pinks stage and faced his adoring crowd, with a nod and a wink as he walked to the front of the stage. His dark hair was slicked right back, and he wore a dark blue suit inlayed with some sort of material that caused little sparkles under the glare of the stage-lights. When he reached the edge of the stage, Xander brought the mic he was holding to his lips.

"We've got a fantastic two hour show for you all tonight." The crowed cheered again. Xander chuckled before continuing, "Tonight, our special girl is Buffy Summers. College student by day- the Vampire Slayer by night"

A short montage of Buffy's life flashed on the huge screen behind Xander. Several of the male crowd members, both human and demon, whistled and cheered.

"Enthusiastic crowd tonight" Xander noted, before continuing; "We'll all meet Ms Summers shortly, but first of all, I'm going to introduce her three prospective dates, who will be coming out to the stage one at a time." Again, the crowd cheered.

"First of all, we have Angel" Xander said as a tall, dark and broody looking man, with hair that stuck straight up, appeared from behind the curtains, black wool duster flowing around him in a way that so many girls found irresistible. Angel shook Xander's hand and waved to the crowd before getting seated on the red-and-pink sofa to the right of the stage. "Also known as 'Angelus' and 'Liam', Guest Number One is a two hundred and fifty three..."

"Fifty one! I'm two hundred and fifty one" Angel interrupted, slightly annoyed, but never losing his trademark 'broody face'.

Xander nodded "Right, sorry. Angel is a two hundred and fifty one year old vampire who was cursed with a soul in the late Eighteen Hundreds, after killing the favorite daughter of a Romany Gypsy clan. Born in Ireland, he has lived in many countries, though this past century has been spent predominately here in the USA. Angel's hobbies include; brooding, Helping the Helpless with his business, 'Angel Investigations', brooding, drawing pictures of his lovers, brooding, and occasionally going 'evil'. Oh, and brooding. He really likes to brood."

Angel nodded, satisfied with that description of himself. The crowd however was quite amused and the laughter was almost deafening.

"Okay, okay guys. Relax guys" Xander said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "We've got a show to film here" The crowd settled. "Thanks. Now, secondly, we have Riley Finn"

A tall, blonde typical-college-boy-type, dressed in Combat Gear emerged from behind the curtain. He waved at the crowd before sitting next to Angel. The guy's glance at each other before engaging in what appeared to be a silent brooding contest.

Xander continued; "Riley is twenty six and is here taking time off working on a secret military operation somewhere in South America. Before heading on this mission, Riley was a successful TA at UC Sunnydale, and part of a secret military operation known as 'The Initiative', which captured demons and conducted tests and experiments on them." Riley nodded and smiled before returning to his brooding contest. Several members of the audience, mostly demons, booed at the mention of The Initiative. "His hobbies include; visiting Vamp Whore Houses, being secret-military-monster-hunter- guy, and lamenting the disloyalty of his girlfriends"

"And last, but not least, we have William The Bloody" Xander turned, expecting to see another guy walk out from behind the curtain, but he saw no one.

"I said, next we have William The Bloody" He raised the volume a little bit.

"It's Spike, mate" A Cockney accent sounded from behind the curtain.

"Really? Oh, sorry. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands.paws.claws.whatever, together for Spike!" Xander announced.

"That's better" Spike walked onto the stage, he wasn't as tall as the others, and his hair was peroxide white. He wore dark jeans, Docs, a black Tee with a red shirt all covered by a long black leather duster. "Helps to do your research" Spike informed Xander, before winking at the audience, who were cheering loudly, and seating himself on the end of the couch, next to Riley.

Xander coughed before continuing, "Uh, Spike is one hundred and twenty three years old. Before he became a vampire, he was a 'bloody awful' poet, which lead to his nickname of 'William The Bloody'. Since becoming a vampire, he has killed two Slayers over the last hundred or so years, but has been unable to kill, or even hurt, any living thing for the past three years, ever since he was implanted with a behavior modification chip by The Initiative"

Riley's face actually made an expression "I KNEW I'd seen you somewhere before- you're Hostile 17!" Riley stood up. Spike accepted his challenge and looked him in the eye.

The crowd also stood up, chanting "Xander! Xander! Xander!"

"You worked for the Initiative?" Spike's eyes flashed yellow "You bloody wanker!" He yelled, before diving onto Captain Cardboard. Unfortunately, that caused the chip to activate, and Spike was thrown back, grasping his head and screaming "Aaargh!"

Riley stood up again, and was about to attack the now-helpless Spike, when Xander stepped between the two.

"Okay, guys. C'mon. We're gonna have to ask you both to leave if you can't get along"

"Right, okay" Riley nodded before sitting on the opposite side of Angel that he was on before.

Spike also nodded "Right, yeah. Whatever" He moaned before sitting where he was originally.

"Glad that's settled" Xander said a little sarcastically "Let me continue." He looked through his palm cards for where he was up to "Ah. Here we go" He grinned at the crowd "It's all good. Spike's hobbies include; torturing his victims with railroad spikes, riding his motorcycle, um, playing Kitten Poker and watching Passions"

"Damn right I do!" Spike said "And if I miss an episode while I'm on this bloody show, you'll know about it!" He glared at Xander menacingly.

"Right, yes. I'm sure." Xander said, knowing full well that the vampire was all bark and no bite. "Now it's time to introduce our Guest of honor- Buffy Summers"

Buffy walked out from the left hand side of the stage, dressed in denim jeans and a white tank. Her honey-blonde hair was cut to just below her shoulders, and hung in loose curls. Her eyes were green, and defiantly of the Doe-variety. All three boys sat open-mouthed at the sight of her.

"Hi" She said to the audience, a little shyly before being embraced and 'air-kissed' by Xander.

"Welcome to the show, Buffy" Xander said as he let her go.

"Thank so much for having me, Xander" She smiled at him before walking over to her seat, which was on the opposite side of the stage to the guy's. The guys continued their stare-fest.

Snapping himself back to reality, Xander continued "Buffy is just shy of her twenty second birthday, and by day she attends classes at UC Sunnydale, but by night, she's the Vampire Slayer. She may seem to have a long life span for a Slayer, but don't be fooled- this girl has actually died twice"

The crowd 'oooed and ahhhhed' Xander again continued; "Her hobbies include wittling stakes, many forms of martial arts training, reading ancient demon texts, collecting ancient weaponry, baking cookies and long walks around cemeteries at night"

The crowd clapped.

"And that's all of our guests introduced, so on with the show, shall we?