Darkness shrouded the young shinobi's eyes. He reached out to grab ahold of something secure, anything that would ground him in reality. The lack of light was suffocating and the absence of solidity was numbing. He just wanted to feel again.

Eventually, tired of grasping air, the ninja took a seat and closed his eyes. Memories flashed over his eyes like images on a silver screen, trailing from days to weeks past of obscure thought. "Suigetsu," a soft voice whispered. "Hey, sugartits."

"Whaaaat?" The soluble sass master groaned as he took a long drink from his barbie sippie cup. His large eyes landed on a pair of talking breasts. It was the hooker from the night before, 'Genjutsu Ginger' was her name. Sasuke made it a habit of purchasing her company whenever they passed through her village of business, but he never did the diddle with her-he was saving himself for a very christian marriage to adele. He mostly just sobbed behind closed doors while she stroked his hair and had him call her Itachi.

It was an expensive pastime.

And sasuke had no money.

"Listen, man, I've got like 5 other clients in the next hour..."

"Five?" Suigetsu furrowed his fluid brow. Ripples creased over his forehead like a water bed. "Isn't that a few too many?"

"It's an orgy. You owe me $500." Genjutsu Ginger picked at her nails, fixing her thumb that was shriveled due to sasuke sucking on it for the past hour. He had a lot of unresolved issues.

"Jesus ass fuck, why so much?" Sugoitest peed a little. His diaper absorbed the impact loyally.

"Do you wanna play big brother for sausage? No, so pay up bubble buddy."

"I'm not your buddy..." suigetsu grumbled while reaching into his portable piggy bank. It was shaped like a dolphin wearing a Hawaiian shirt. It made him smile every time. How did that dolphin purchase such an item? How did it manage to put the shirt on? What inspired the dolphin to make such an atrocious fashion statement? The questions burned in suigenitalia's mind as he handed ginger 500 pennies.

"K thanks loser" the hooker sighed and absorbed the money before jumping out the window in karin's bedroom. Why she didn't use the front window, the world may never know.

Watching the exit transpire made suggestivesue thirsty, but his favored barbie sippie cup declined any satisfaction for the baby shark boy. "Fuck me right in the ear," he groaned. Orochimaru squealed from behind the closet door.

At the local grocery market, suigetsu passed the many aisles of meme memorabilia to reach the water shelf. John Cena gave him an affirming nod and he nodded back at the cardboard champ knowingly. No one ignored the champ's affirmations. No one.

After shaking paul blart's hand ritually, suigetsu proceeded to fill his sippie cup with chlorinated liquids by scooping the water off the shelf. It was a real inconvenient way to store water, but the economy was rough on everyone. The little shark boy was having the toughest time, however and became extremely aggravated. "I just want some gosh dang water!" He shouted as another handful of liquid splashed to the floor, eluding his sippie cup altogether.

"Need some help?" A strong voice dripped over his shoulder. It belonged to a strapping young man with a face sculpted by a mediocre sculptor with some skill in the area of sculpting faces. His hair was really gelly too and that appealed to suigetsu's appreciation for hair gel.

Blushing, sugaryester looked up at his senpai, Kisame, with big eyes. "Kisame-senpai..." he mumbled, "I was just...uh..."

"Don't worry," Kisame grinned a mischievous grin as he cupped chopsuey's face in his massive hand. "I'm here now."

"Be gentle, my water could break at any moment..." suigetsu warned, still quivering in the shark furry's hands.

Wasabi's face flooded with amusement. "I can't help myself if I'm rough," he chuckled. "Just call me bearforce one." With that, kisame pulled suigetsu into a strong, wet kiss that filled his mouth with the taste of fish and fiber one bars. His tongue struggled lightly for power, but kisame was just too intense compared to his liquid core. The kiss literallt swept suigetsu off his feet and his eyes rolled into the back of his skull, embracing darkness and inhaling euphoria.

The memory filled suigetsu with arousal, but he still couldn't recall where he was. The darkness was still suffocating, even more so now that he couldnt place the change between the kiss and the hole he was in.

"Hello?" The young shinobi called out, relying on his last resort.

"Hello." A soft voice replied.

"Who are you?"

"Itachi Uchiha. .." the voice said.

"What are you doing here? Where is here?"

Irachi took a moment to respond, ensuring the correct words were used. "I came here by accident. You see, I too fell victim to kisame's charms." He paused. "Rather, victim is a strong word. It isn't his fault... but we loved one another and that is the reason I'm here."

"Where is here?" Suigetsu repeated his question.

"Kisame's anus. He absorbes everything he diddles into his ass."

End.