ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY
…
Summary:
He knew that it was pointless at trying, but then again, all he ever wanted was for him to just stay. WARNING! Unrequited love, Shuuneki, Touken.
Rated:
K+
Genre:
Romance & Hurt/Angst
…
The sweet scent of coffee entered his sense of smell. Yes, the smell lingered from the kitchen, located at the back of the room, but he couldn't care less since he was too distracted by the refreshing aroma. Too bad though, he sometimes thought to himself, for 'his kind' could only devour this beverage other than human flesh; but still, it is something to be grateful of.
He would sometimes read Takatsuki Sen's book while drinking coffee, in the middle of the night in his room, while listening to one of Mozart or maybe Bach's pieces in the silence. While listening to those symphonies, he would imagine how he were one of the characters in the book, as if he was playing a role as one of the main characters, and he would imagine himself in one of those scenes where the character would be. Those are the times when he felt at peace, but he knew it would never last.
It's not like the said man isn't good with large crowds or anything – no, actually, it's the total opposite being the gourmet and all, he must serve his clients and smooth talk some other people into joining his so-called 'fine dining'. Of course, he tried asking a certain purple haired woman once, and was declined. How dare that woman, he would always think to himself, and swore to take revenge when he meets her again.
But of course, she had to come back again in a form of a half human.
"Your coffee, Tsukiyama-san…"
Tsukiyama glanced up at the waiter who served him the cup of coffee "thank you, Kaneki-kun"
And said half-human turned out quite to his liking.
Kaneki nodded his head slightly as he was about to return to the kitchen. Tsukiyama knew that opportunities always appear before him, he just had to take the risk to grasp it – these are one of them.
After being kidnapped by Aogiri, Kaneki changed a lot. Not only his appearance – which Tsukiyama didn't mind at all – but even his attitude. His once innocent and shy became cold and heartless. The gourmet didn't know what happened to him when Kaneki was taken away by Yamori, but for some reason, Tsukiyama knew that the old Kaneki could never return, for all of his innocence, and all the goodness inside of him disappeared. But even so, Tsukiyama believed that he would once again see the old Kaneki. The one he almost ate. And the one he fell in love.
Kaneki stopped from his tracks when he felt something gripped tightly unto his shoulder. The albino didn't need to look back to see who hold him in place. He was trying to release himself from the purple haired man's grasp.
"Let go of me"
"Please, can't we just have a little chat?" Tsukiyama asks, although anyone with a bright mind knew that he's basically pleading for said albino "there's not that much customers here, you could h-have a little break" Tsukiyama cursed himself when his voice cracked.
Kaneki peaked from his shoulder as he saw Tsukiyama's pleading face. I guess he's right, the albino thought, Tsukiyama-san is the only customer here, but then again, we just opened up.
"Alright" Kaneki said as he sat himself right across Tsukiyama.
The French man had to surpress a blush coming on when he felt their knees brush against each other just when Kaneki was about to sit himself down.
When Tsukiyama take a good look at Kaneki's facial features, his face just says it all. Kaneki is an open book, anything you want to know him, you can already see it by just looking at his face and in Tsukiyama's part, examining Kaneki's face is like reading a book. His face is the face of a man who had just went through times of pain, destruction, desperation; he's been through it all. He looks as if a man who just came back from the war and had a massive trauma, and had no choice but to just let it slide, for he knew he couldn't change the past.
Tsukiyama softened his eyes 'Kaneki-kun…'
"Well?" the hybrid asks, with usual bored grey eyes. His eyes seemed to be the same, Tsukiyama thought, and his other eye, he used to wear a medical eyepatch, now some kind of how in movies a pirate wears a black eyepatch that covers his scarred eye from a battle "what do you want to talk about?"
"Oh!" Tsukiyama said, "Well, I just wanted to ask how are you doing? Is everything doing fine here in Anteiku?"
"Yes" Kaneki said "I'm doing fine, and so does everybody in Anteiku"
"I see" Tsukiyama said while sipping on his coffee.
There was a moment of silence, and both of them seemed okay with it, not even bothered the slightest.
"Kaneki-kun, are you doing okay lately?" Tsukiyama asks, "I heard that when you got back, you were badly injured, and I was worried"
"Don't be," Kaneki said, "I'm perfectly fine, I'm a ghoul; I can heal myself"
Of course, the gourmet thought, thanks to Rize…
Tsukiyama nodded, "I am glad that you are okay"
And yet, they were met with another moment of silence, and this time, Tsukiyama is slightly bothered by this. This kind of thing never happened when he was with the old Kaneki.
"What do you mean?" Kaneki asks.
Tsukiyama didn't realize he said his thoughts out loud. His cheeks were slightly red, as he was embarrassed "a-ah, well… Kaneki-kun, you used to talk a lot before you were… taken away by Aogiri…"
"…" Kaneki looked down at Tsukiyama's coffee, and the gourmet had to bite his lower lip. He was afraid that bringing this up would make Kaneki remember… unpleasant memories back at Aogiri, for all of his days living, he never heard a living being ever escaped the organization and even if they did, well, let's just say even a ghoul's regenerative powers won't be able to heal what they have been through.
"Why are you doing this?"
"Huh?"
Kaneki looked up to look at the purple haired "if you knew I was different than before, why bother talking to me now? I've changed, Tsukiyama-san, and you of all people know that" Kaneki looked down, his eyes soften "the way I see it, things have changed, I'm not that weak and innocent Kaneki like the one you've met… I've grown stronger, and I am willing to protect the people that I cared for. I know I've changed, but I guess it's okay" Kaneki looked at Tsukiyama "because in order to protect something, you must sacrifice something in exchange, right?"
Tsukiyama didn't realize he was gaping the entire time Kaneki explained to him of how he had to protect everybody and how he had changed and stuff. Like a tragic hero, Tsukiyama thought. But of course, Kaneki didn't expect this to happen.
Tsukiyama cracked a smile and chuckled lightly "that is the longest sentence you have said to me today, Kaneki-kun. I'm glad actually" Tsukiyama raised his head to see a confused Kaneki "the old you is still inside you…"
Kaneki just stared wide-eyed at Tsukiyama, and shook his head. And then, the first time since he came back from Aogiri, Kaneki smiled a little. It was a faint smile, barely seen, but Tsukiyama could see it well and he was very positive that it is a smile.
"Thank you… I guess" Kaneki said, and Tsukiyama could see the uneasiness in his eyes. Just like the old Kaneki, Tsukiyama thought. "I kinda appreciate that"
"'Kinda', Kaneki-kun?" Tsukiyama asks
Kaneki shook his head as he rolled his eyes "okay, I really appreciate you saying that to me. Nobody has said that to me well – ever since I came back from Aogiri – well, except… one…"
"Huh?" Tsukiyama asks, confusion written all over his face, but quickly changed the topic, "anyway, Kaneki-kun, I was wondering if we could go together to where Takatsuki Sen is signing books – ah, never mind, you must have a lot of things to do – "
"Sure, when?"
Tsukiyama widened his eyes "e-eh?!"
"I would love to go there with you"
"Really?!"
"Yes"
"G-great! Then, would this Saturday do?"
Kaneki nodded "yeah sure, it's not like I have anything to do on that day"
"Perfect! Then I will come here and pick you up at 1 o'clock!" This is a date! Tsukiyama thought, this is obviously a date! I can't believe I'm actually going out with Kaneki-kun!
Kaneki nod, smiling slightly "okay"
Tsukiyama smiled as wide as he could, and he couldn't stop smiling after that even though his cheeks hurt, but he couldn't care less. He is going to have a date with Kaneki on Saturday, and he can't believe that something like this could happen only by grasping Kaneki's shoulder. He knew chances of Kaneki actually agreeing on going with him – even though after the first attempt where he asks Kaneki and eventually tried to eat him – he still tried, and who would've though Tsukiyama could accomplish this in no time.
Both then continued to talk on about their lives and about other books; Kaneki still with his calm and collected – although now he talks a lot, and a smiling Tsukiyama.
Of course, they had to be interrupted when they heard the doorbell.
Kaneki quickly stood up from his chair, to Tsukiyama's disappointment, and approached the customer "welcome!"
Tsukiyama sigh as he continued to sip on his coffee that he hasn't finished yet and turns out it was getting cold. He finally finished the beverage and raised his head to look at Kaneki.
The customer was a couple, a boy and a girl – probably on a date – and they were ordering their drinks, and they were also quiet confused at Kaneki's so-called 'fashion'. Nice going, Kaneki-kun, Tsukiyama thought, they won't suspect a thing seeing a waiter with white hair and black eyepatch.
Just when Kaneki finished serving the two new customers, he went back to Tsukiyama. The gourmet was delighted, for he didn't expected Kaneki to come back after serving those two costumers. He thought of leaving, actually, because he thought that after this Kaneki is probably going to go back and ignore him again.
"I'm sorry our conversation had to be interrupted"
"No, it's okay Kaneki-kun!"
"So, I thought – "
And then, another sound from the bell alerted both parties that another customer just entered the café. Tsukiyama gave off an irritated face. They were interrupted, twice.
Kaneki sigh as he straightened his back "well, I'll be back – "
"What're you doing slacking off?"
The two parties both turned their heads to see another figure – and it turns out to be a female figure.
She had short dark purple hair that covers one of her dark azure eyes. She wore what a standard high schoolgirl uniform with a pink scarf with black stripes wrapped around her neck, white socks that reached below her knee, and brown shoes. She also wore an irritated face that strangely suits her, while crossing her arms. She seemed to be ignoring the French man in front of her, as her eyes are glued to the hybrid in front.
Tsukiyama sigh as he took out a few yen to the table, earning a surprised glance from Kaneki and Touka when they heard a clinging sound on the table. Their eyes are now on the smiling French man who just stand up from his chair "well, it was a nice chat, Kaneki-kun, I'm looking forward for Saturday!"
Kaneki nodded "me too, Tsukiyama-san"
Tsukiyama smiled as he turned around to look at the glaring she-beast "it's also a pleasure to meet you, Kirishima-san"
"Get your shitty face out of here"
"Nasty words as always, I see" Tsukiyama said as he exited the café "Bon Voyage, Kaneki-kun!"
Tsukiyama is a man who never believe in something people call 'coincidence', for he believes that in life, there is no such nonsense as coincidence, or fate, or any of that shit, because he knows that every human being living in this world has a purpose of their own. Of course, he never really liked his childhood – no, he wasn't even sure himself. He never really remembered his life as a child, probably some bad memories, but other than that, he can't remember; but that's not the point right now. He would sometimes envisioned himself living in a world with only him and the hybrid himself – he knows it's a bit too selfish, but he couldn't care less. But then he would always see a large gap between both of them, and he knows that it is not a coincidence that a certain individual is there.
Oh no, it is much more than that.
And he knows, that he can never, even ever, compete with said certain individual, for he knows that she has always been there for him from the start, from the first time he came into the ghoul world, the first time he still had his innocence back then, until now, she was always there for him; that certain individual, and Tsukiyama knows – more than she knows – that he can never compete with her.
As Tsukiyama exits the café, he sighs as he straightened his tie, and continued walking down the stairs, towards the peaceful streets of the 20th ward. As he is passing Anteiku, he could see from the windowsill something that he never wanted to see, something that made him want to leave there as quick as possible, something that even though it hurt him, he still tried.
Said certain individual, or known as Kirishima Touka, was pinching Kaneki's cheek, as the white haired just tried to pull his face away. When he finally manage to pull his face away from Touka's pinching, said girl turned around with puffed cheeks while crossing her arms. Kaneki, watching her leave, had a mischievous glint on his eyes as he quickly wrapped his arms around Touka's waist, preventing her from going away.
Tsukiyama quickly looked away from the sight, knowing what would happen next. Seeing this from afar just burned his eyesight, and he didn't know what would happen if he would see it up close, which is the reason why he quickly left when he saw the her entering the café.
He knew that it was pointless at trying, but then again, all he ever wanted was for him to just stay.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And even after three years, Tsukiyama isn't even the least surprised when he received a letter, with big bold words at the top 'please come to our wedding!', and at the bottom, he could see small italic letters, 'Kaneki Ken and Kirishima Touka'.
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Author's Note:
Some Shuuneki angst for all of you! I apologize for my grammars but I'm still trying to improve my grammar and stuff…
Also, so sorry that some of you Shuuneki fans are awaiting for some yaoi fluff and all but I cannot give it to you, because this is mostly Touken, and well hell yeah I ship Touken, so yeah this is dedicated to those Touken fans out there that are depressed about the fact that we don't know when will the anime Tokyo Ghoul:RE come out, and PLEASE ISHIDA I WANT TO SEE AN ACTUAL HAPPY ENDING NOT LIKE THE LAST TG EPISODE LIKE WTF I NEED SOME TOUKEN PLEASE MY HEART I CAN'T *ehem*
BTW, do you know the 'All you had to do was stay' by Taylor Swift in her album 1989? Yeah, I got that title from her song, but it's a good song so yeah please hear it.
Thanks for reading.