Break Away

medik

Song: Kelly Clarkson – Break Away

I closed my eyes, wiping tears. I knelt where I stood, dismayed.

"No," I said.

"I'm so sorry," Quatre said, tears being held back in his own eyes. He turned and left, and I heard him break into his own sobbing.

I don't cry much at all. But now, someone had turned on the fountain. I was trembling, staring at the wooden floor of my apartment. I blacked out.

Grew up in a small town,
And when the rain would fall down,
I'd just stare out my window.
Dreaming of what could be,
And if I'd end up happy,
I would pray.

I woke up two days later, 7:30 in the morning. The alarm clock was buzzing, a note taped to the side:

Heero,

I'm sorry this had to happen...the wake's being held

today. Call for details.

Trowa

I laid back in bed, staring up.

I was standing at the bus stop when it happened. I heard some woman scream and then it all flashed as I saw it coming. Visions came to me, visions of Heero. Visions of the war, the guys, even some of the girls as I exhaled for the last time.

Fifteen minutes later I got out of bed to the phone. Picking it up I mumbled into it.

"Heero?" A sullen voice asked.

"Hn," I grunted into the phone.

"I'm out here, buzz me in."

I replaced the phone and then hit the door button. I unlatched the door and leaned against the jamb until steps were sounding from down the hall.

"Hey..." Quatre greeted, trying to be cheerful.

My throat too dry to respond. Quatre looked horrible, circles under the eyes and his black suit wrinkled. I stepped back and collapsed onto the couch.

I saw him, smiling in his closed-lip, cute smile he always had. He had never smiled during the war. But when I saw him, he smiled. I couldn't help but lean in and give him the big old kiss he deserved.


Try not to reach out,
But when I tried to speak out,
Felt like no-one could hear me.
Wanted to belong here,
But something felt so wrong here.
So I'd pray,
I could break away.

I don't remember anything until we got to the funeral home. Trowa's car was already parked there. I was dressed, couldn't tell you how, but I looked worse than Quat.

We walked into the funeral home and looked for the Barton family. Funny how that worked, really. Quatre had taken the last name, and Duo and I had never been registered as living beings. Quat saw Trowa, leaning against the wall.

They hugged and I convulsed. I fell again, knee hitting the ground with enough force to create pain from my heart to the floor.

"Aww, Heero, don't be such a meanie," I stuck out my tongue at Heero. He grunted in response.

"C'mon," I said, and I motioned for him to sit on the swing next to me. Reluctantly, he sat down and looked at me.

"Not like that, Heero," I got up and pushed him.

"You gotta put your weight into it!"

I stood, recovering from the fall. Trowa came over and grabbed my arm to support me.

"He's over here," Trowa said.

Letting Trowa help me, we entered the room. I saw the coffin and tears welled up once again.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

We approached him, and I couldn't help but let myself go. I slowed, trembling and crying.

He's gone.

Wanna feel the warm breeze,
Sleep under a palm tree,
Feel the rush of the ocean,
Get inboard a fast train,
Travel on a jet plane,
Fall away, and break away.

I looked at him. The coffin was only open partially, hiding his body below his neck. His face, his beautiful face, was showing. I had my hand on his cheek, caressing him. He was pale. I looked at him and memories flooded me.

"Duo, don't eat that so fast you'll get a brain freeze," Heero told me as I wolfed down my ice cream cone. I made a face him. He smiled at me.

"Yes, mother."

"Father," he corrected me. I couldn't help but to laugh at the innuendo. I winked at him.

"Later, Daddy."

Trowa and Quatre flanked me and pulled me back.

"Heero," Quatre's concerned voice came. "You need some rest."

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
Gotta make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

It came from nowhere, the busy street masking whatever approach. At this point, training was nothing. I knew the verdict.

All I could remember now, was that I had said one thing before it smashed into me.

Heero.

Oblivion came, and I went. I had no expectancy, but I arose.

Heaven.

Building with a 100 floors,
Swinging with revolving doors,
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me.
But I gotta keep moving on moving on,
Fly away, break away.

I was sitting when I made the choice.

I had Quatre's keys in my hand. I stood up, walking towards the exit. I could hear Quatre from behind me and I broke into a run. I got to his car and locked the door. I started it and reversed out of the parking space.

Shifting into drive I looked forward to see Quatre coming out towards me. I was crying, but I don't think I could've made anybody more saddened in my final choice. I gunned the car passed Quatre and headed out of the parking lot.

Swerving through traffic I tried to get away from as many bystanders as possible. I saw it on the other side, moving away from a stop.

I took it.

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
Though its not easy to tell you goodbye.
Gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget the place I come from.
I've gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.

Break away, break away

End.

XXXXXXX

I tried to keep from crying this entire fic. I heard the song on my way home from my friends and I almost cried in the car. I don't know why, it's just that sad to me for whatever reason. I'm sorry if anyone else had this as visually as I did.

R&R

ambush at gmail dot com