Disclaimer: I'm most certainly not the owner of Bleach and its character, those are property of the mangaka Tite Kubo. I'm just borrowing them for my fangirling needs.

Warnings: the crackiest of pairings, Older!Yuzu. Ichigo and Grimmjow's potty mouths. Crack-ish.

Of panthers and kittens

i. of news and brothers-in-law

"No."

"But onii—"

"I've said no, Yuzu." The harsh words hit her like a slap to a reckless child, blushing and squeezing the hem of her skirt, completely defeated.

A part of her mind said she shouldn't pull up with this kind of treatment when she is heading towards seventeen in a few months— but the thing is, she wasn't Karin, who even if her brother said anything she wouldn't mind and do it anyway, neither she was like Rukia or even Orihime, no, she is Kurosaki Yuzu, and even at the edge of seventeen she couldn't help but want her brother's approval of her decision.

Except the only problem was that she had already done such thing without thinking on what her brother would say, and as Karin said 'not giving a damn on what happened'. It wasn't until her consciousness wouldn't leave her alone that Yuzu thought that, perhaps, it was time her brother dearest should know about it.

And of course, he reacted just as badly as she had thought.

"Why not?" She couldn't help but ask, even if she knew she would end up losing against him— she always did when it came to such things, after all.

"Yuzu, for fuck's sake, just look at him!" as a dart, his index finger pointed towards the blue haired man behind her, who narrowed his eyes like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.

Such man happened to be her boyfriend (even if sometimes she doubted to use that word to describe their relationship). And it wasn't because she had a boyfriend she didn't tell him about, Ichigo could freak out about it, yes, but in the end he would understand Yuzu was old enough to handle herself just fine.

So no, keeping her boyfriend a secret wasn't the problem— the subject here was the boyfriend himself.

You see— her boyfriend happened to be an old acquaintance of her brother, one named Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Or at least that's what she knew, if for 'acquaintance' you'd understood 'we almost killed each other. Twice'. It was no question why would she keep their relationship a secret from Ichigo.

So, when she told him they were gonna let her brother knew, she pleaded to him to let her do the talking— god knew their insurance couldn't afford any more repairs to the house.

And if seeing Grimmjow calmly on the inside on the house wasn't enough to destroy it, well, why he was there should probably count as enough reason to her brother, if she knew him well enough (which she did). Needless to say was that, if she hadn't been there, perhaps they would be holding this conversation in the hospital.

"For how long?" It almost surprised her in a positive way when he asked that instead of yelling at Grimmjow, a surprise that quickly vanished when Yuzu saw his arms folded and eyes close, with a pulsing vein on top of his forehead.

Then again: no surprise she had kept this a secret.

In the end, she breathed in deeply, knowing that if he had reacted that way with just the sheer news, the house would have a new door in the wall within the next minute.

"For two months."

The next thing she heard was the choking noises coming from Ichigo's throat, and the vile attempt at muffling his laughter from Grimmjow's part. She tried to stop him by nudging him on the ribs, but it had been futile since the chuckles didn't pass over the elder's head.

"Of course you would find this funny," he snarled with his arms in a jar, earning an eye roll from the blue haired man— and a drop of sweat running down the younger girl's forehead. "Yuzu, he's using you!"

"What fun would it be to harm you like that?" She started to ponder why did she thought it would be a good idea to bring him in... "If I wanted to kill you, I'd just would, Kurosaki."

"See?! Yuzu, why would you date someone like that?!"

And she notices he's right, why did she dated someone like Grimmjow? He even scared her at first and his historical didn't do anything to stop that, but in time...

"Because he's been good to me," And she smiled, because Grimmjow wasn't good to her in a 'I haven't kill you yet' but an actually good way. "He makes me happy."

Even though he didn't smile, Yuzu liked to think Grimmjow felt the same about her, even if he didn't show her in the way she often fantasized about when she was a little girl. She though that there had to be something in their relationship good enough to go through all of that.

There had to be, something that even her brother would see.

The eldest Kurosaki sighed, as he looked at the other side of the room.

"I don't approve of this," and honestly, she knew he was going to say that, she wasn't the silly naïve girl most people thought she was. It just didn't hurt any less that her brother confirmed that he didn't trust her own decisions.

"It's not like we actually need your approval, you know," her eyes widened at the blue haired man's words, would he really try and reason with her brother over this? Would he? "I mean, we've already fucked."

The insurance didn't cover the missing half of the house— neither could it treat Grimmjow nor Ichigo's broken bones.

quick note: if I could, this would've been called 'I needed to get my mind out of tests or either I'm losing my mind', but seeing it wouldn't make any sense, I've used this one.

So, as you can see, this will be a series of one-shots, drabbles or whatever-happens-through-my-mind of my crackiest ship (and current OTP, sue me) GrimmYu. It doesn't make any sense? Most likely. This is not how neither of them would act? Probably, but these will range from the fluffiest of moments to shit so dark it'll make Oldboy seem like a disney channel movie. Also, it is supposed to be this light-hearted.

Anyway, what do you guys think of the first chapter? It's not the first time I'm writing (though I wouldn't blame you if you thought that), but it surely is in a long-ass while. If you find this way too-fluff and stuff, well, don't worry; if you decide to stay I promise that the next one will be better ;D

Stay tuned, bunnies!