Ok, I know that I start stories and then leave them for the buzzards after two chapters, but I'm really going to try hard on this one. I'm going to have a lot of fragment sentences in this first chapter so just bear with me. -Cait
Series: Gravitation(the anime) by Maki Murakami
Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gravitation, because if I did, I'd be much richer than you.
Chapter 1 : Distant
The words never came easily. For the writer or the singer. Whether it was for work or was just to express the connection between them. Shuichi often wondered why that was. He really did love Yuki and he knew that Yuki loved him. Even if it was a different love. Even if Yuki didn't express it the way Shuichi did. Even if Shuichi felt like he was hanging off the edge with their relationship. Yuki would always come back to embrace him. Eventually though, Shuichi wondered why he would get so desperate at those times. Why he would let himself fall. What pushed him so much? Was Yuki pushing him away slowly until it was almost too late? It usually took a call from either K-san or Tohma to get Yuki to notice when Shuichi was losing it. For awhile he ignored this. Then came a period of silence that was just too much for both of them.
Shuichi looked at the door from the living room as he heard someone unlocking it. He just turned back to what he was doing on the couch and waited for that someone to come into the apartment. When he finally came in, the tall, blond man was for once surprised that Shuichi hadn't come bounding from some random place in the apartment to great him/tackle him. "Shuichi?" Yuki called as he slipped off his shoes. "I'm home."
The pink-haired singer barely flinched at what his lover said. I was the one usually saying that. "Where are you?" Yuki called out.
Deciding not to lead Yuki on that he was trying to play an annoying game, he said, "I'm in the living room." His voice was blank.
"Oh." Yuki's voice didn't sound the happiest either. Shuichi heard the fridge door shut and hear foot steps towards Yuki's study. He didn't bother to ask what Yuki was going to do or how long he planned on cooping himself up in the dark room. Then the door closed. Shuichi didn't even sigh. He just stared down at his lyrics that he was writing.
"It really isn't fair, Yuki." He said to him self in a low tone, "You get to shut everyone out of the world and then when you open the door again to find everything as it was…"
Normally Shuichi wasn't this quiet. Or just depressed. He had learned to cope somewhat though. This had gone on between him and Yuki for about a month and a half already. The first two weeks that Yuki had left him in solitude, Shuichi did everything in his power to try to turn Yuki around but would always get the responses, "I'm working." "Shut up, damn brat!" "I don't want to mess up the deadline this time."
It was really tiring and Shuichi just couldn't take it on top of the stress he had at work. Bad Luck was recording a new CD and he had been having a really bad writer's block. He had to admit his lyrics were really lacking. He had already ran to Hiro for about a night but not as emotional as he had the many times before. Hiro worried about him. Even Suguru and Mr.K. But they couldn't spend too much time paying attention to Shuichi's life either.
Shuichi stared out the window as the sun was setting. "Deadline? Deadline." He repeated in a strong voice. He really was surprised he was saying it. He tilted his head back to face the ceiling. "I feel like I've already met my deadline and beyond." His voice was disappointed. He didn't want to give up, but he felt like he had nothing left in him. "It just…hurts."
The sound of clicking was the only sound Yuki had known for quite some time already. His laptop was his companion in these long days of solitude. He still knew that Shuichi was on the other side of the door, but the air in the apartment began to feel different every day. And Yuki was too enthralled in his writing to barely notice it.
Hands on the clock seemed to move more quickly than they actually did. Yuki stared up at the machine going, "Tick. Tick. Tick." He pulled out his lighter and a cigarette and leaned back on his chair. Once he was more relaxed, he let out a puff of smoke. "I think five hours is long enough." With that he shut the laptop and came out of his study.
When he walked into the kitchen he saw that Shuichi had just finished making a small dinner. It was only some ramen but Yuki was still hungry. He picked up his bowl from the two on the counter and looked over at Shuichi who was sitting by himself at the table. They barely exchanged any words these days. Yuki wanted to say to him, "Thanks." But all that came out was, "Why ramen, brat?"
Shuichi just sighed. It was a fed up release of breath. He stood up from his chair and placed his bowl in the sink. His elbows rested against the edge on the metal of the sink. Without looking at Yuki, he sighed again and muttered something under his breath not knowing or caring if the writer heard it, "Why do I bother?" his voice was filled with disgust as he exited the kitchen.
Yuki watched him leave. He didn't stop him. He didn't feel he really had to. Even though he did hear what Shuichi had said. He's exhausted, I'm exhausted. That's all. He concluded silently to himself.
Grrr. Something doesn't sound right when I read it! I have never done a romance fanfic before. I hope someone enjoyed reading it though. I plan to get the next chapter up soon. Till then, Cait