Chapter 1: Touch Me, I'm Going to Scream
-x-
"Beautiful Darling, That's it!" She didn't need to be told what she was doing was pure perfection. She knows how talented she is and has been around long enough to know what works. Regardless, praise is always welcomed.
The setting for her current photo shoot—A bed in a homey room. The set is almost too nostalgic for her to bear but she needs to be professional. She didn't let her smile falter once, her gaze remained focused on the camera and her body positioned as provocatively as it needed to be. Not too much where the boundary between sexy and slutty is being pushed, but enough to be in a Victoria's Secret commercial. Which is exactly what this was for, well the catalog anyway.
"Tip the Santa Hat just a little lower Princess" The photographer addresses her in an endearing manner, "That's it" He croons, when she complies.
He grins at her, "You're gonna sell millions Meems" He says appreciatively but she knows that too. She's always had the body to sell and she's always been able to do it.
"Okay well I think we're done" He goes over the film before nodding.
Mimi jumps off the uncomfortable bed and onto the tiled floor, its cold against her bare feet. With out a single word to anyone on that set she slips on her monogrammed satin robe and walks back to her dressing room. "How'd it go?" Her redheaded best friend is waiting for her.
Mimi shrugs a shoulder, "Like it always goes" She answers, It's been four years of the same routine and some where along the line she began to realize that it wasn't enough for her. It had never been. Especially because originally she'd wanted to be a fashion designer rather then a model. But they'd decided she'd make a much a better model, after all she had the face for commercials and billboards, the height for the runway and the body for photo-shoots.
The redhead ignores her friend's hostility; she knows that Mimi's been unhappy with her career for a while now. "You look great" She offers.
Mimi gives her a small smile, "That's what they tell me" Her tone is on the brink of bitterness.
Sora knows her friend well enough to know when she should be left alone. Mimi's personality has changed drastically from the time they had lived in Odaiba those many years ago. "Here" She says before leaving, dropping a magazine in the now blonde Mimi's lap.
Mimi stares at the front cover; it's a picture of the face that has plagued her dreams and thoughts. Yet every time she comes across a newspaper article, magazine cover, or advertisement she makes sure to get it. At first it was kind of a fluke, he had been a small story in the magazine she'd purchased three years ago. The article had been titled: Stars on the rise—Timberwolves. The new rock band who's single "Ice Cold Heart" had topped all the charts in America. His face beamed in black and white as they interviewed him on his recent success.
She'd cut out that article and put it in a shoe box. Then another, then another. Pretty soon it had become a hobby, an obsession and the shoebox was replaced with a bigger box, one that could encompass her fixation.
This latest magazine had him on the front cover; but he almost always is. He's a bigger star then any of them ever imagined he'd become, though he always did have talent. And he's never once forgotten where he came from or the people who'd helped get him here. Unlike her, who'd erased that part of her life completely. She'd become a bitter shell of the person she used to be, happiness an almost foreign feeling to her. Though she always tried to do a good job of faking it, after all she'd always been able to put on a good show.
She gave her reflection on last glance before pulling on her oversized Gucci sunglasses. Maybe today she won't be mobbed by the paparazzi, though it was highly unlikely. She grabbed her bag from off the make up table and left the studio with out another word to anyone else. She didn't need to talk to anyone, say anything or be polite—they all worked for her.
Mimi braced herself for a mob of photographers and reporters when she got outside, they loved her as much as they loved every other screwed up model. So she ducked her head and ran to the car that had been waiting for her as she always did. The modeling agencies would change, the countries would too and so would her clothes but the routine always stayed the same.
More then anything she wished that she could go back to the life she lived before all of this. And it sounds so ungrateful because girls literally die trying to achieve what she has but she never wanted any of it. The fame—well what good is it when there's no one there to share it with, the fortune—she's never been deprived so it was never anything out of the ordinary and the power—well she never gets to use it. In fact it was always as though she was the one being exploited, being used and then thrown away. Like a disposable camera.
-x-
"You were amazing" She's practically drooling she's so impressed. But she isn't the first and she won't be last though she is the last for tonight. And as usual one he's had his way he's going to ask her to leave because he has no use for her any longer.
"What else is new" He responds gruffly, holding the door open for her.
She giggles as if it's a joke they've just shared, not a rude and condescending comment, "You'll call me?" She asks.
He knows he won't, in fact he doesn't even have her number but he nods anyway, "Sure" It's the answer that'll get her out the fastest.
She stares at him for a second longer, "Make sure you do" Her green eyes twinkle wickedly and her tone seems a little too sweet. Her gaze lingers on him before she steps outside, the second she's got both feet out the door he slams it shut.
He pulls a hand through his blonde hair as he drags himself back to his bedroom. It's exactly as he left it, disheveled, dirty and lonely. It's the most unwelcoming room in the house and he has to sleep in it. He's about to turn out the lights when something catches his eye. It was a tabloid sitting on the edge of his bed. His latest conquest—girlfriend, seemed to be obsessed with them so completely interested in the lives of other people. What made him chuck it across the room however, was the lead story.
Alcohol and Anorexia: Mimi Tachikawa. The picture was of a rail thin looking Mimi collapsed in the front seat of an unmentioned guy's car. She was clearly inebriated and looked almost emaciated. He knew that the picture had probably been photo-shopped and she probably wasn't as drunk as they made her out to be either but she'd been getting herself into a lot of trouble lately and he couldn't help but worry about her.
Not that he had any right in doing so. He hadn't seen her since she left him five years ago. Unless you count her face on the T.V screen or their brief, unavoidable meeting at the Grammy's three years ago, when they'd had to present an award together. He'd just had three hit singles and she was the fashion world's queen so when they announced the two were presenting an award together the rest of the world must've shitted themselves. But it hadn't been the reunion he had hoped for, she went up and read from the teleprompter, he did the same, and then they gave away the Grammy and went their separate ways. Talk about epic.
She'd clearly moved on with her life after she left that day and it was then that he realized that he should do the same. Becoming completely devoted to his music career and well to himself. He stopped caring about everything else the second she'd walked off the stage. Solidifying the fact that she never wanted to see him again. His life began to revolve around music, drugs and girls and his friends said he lived the true rock star life. But he couldn't if it was even considered a life, since he didn't see any meaning in it.
She'd been his life and he'd been so stupid then that he didn't see it. Not until it was too late anyway. He'd always believed that his career would slip away but she'd always be there, yet it turned out to be the exact opposite. She left and his career became the constant. Pretty soon even his crappiest songs were number one for weeks.
His life seems like one big redundant acid trip at this point. He didn't have a single thing that mattered to him and his constant apathy paired with his unfeeling sarcasm seemed to chase away anyone who'd wanted to get close to him. His old friends stopped calling, his own brother didn't see him anymore and he didn't even record in the same studio as the rest of the band.
The sound of his phone ringing pulled him out of his reverie, "Talk" He says lazily, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.
"Matt its Suzanna" His agent. The one who handled all of his public matters, like where to play, what concerts to schedule and lately damage control; his life has been really publicized lately.
Matt nods, "Okay, what?" He asks, he knows he should be more grateful to her but he doesn't care. She gets paid to do what she does.
"Well, we've lined up an ad for you" She starts off and he already doesn't like the sound of this, "It's for Ralph Lauren Cologne" She specifies.
If he'd been eating something right now he probably would've choked, "You're kidding right?! Do I look like David fucking Beckham to you?!" He yells incredulously.
She's taken aback, "Well this could be exactly what you need Matt" She says in that motherly tone of hers, "It'll show your still serious about your career" She explains.
He doesn't hold back his disgust, "I'm a musician, how the hell does modeling help my career?" She's not making any sense.
She takes a deep, patient breath, "Well the streak you've been on lately, people seem to think that either your on drugs or with a girl, the fact that you're a musician doesn't even register to them anymore" So that's how it is now? He's not even David Beckham, he's Tara Fucking Reid.
It kills him to comply, "Fine" He manages to get out.
She seems genuinely relieved, "Good boy" She says as if she's referring to an obedient Lab, "It's in two days...pack your bags for New York" She says quickly and hangs up before he can get in a word of protest.
He hangs up the phone with a loud groan.
-x-
"You know Sora, what everyone says is right" Her speech is slurring, her eyes are barely open, "I am a slut! I mean have you seen the catalogs lately, rename me Jenna Jameson why don't you!?" She hiccups, they've been asked to take her out of yet another bar.
Sora shakes her head in disappointment, "Support her a little more on your side Tai" She says, lifting Mimi a little higher.
The brunette shakes his head as well, "Fuck this Sor, I got her" He tells her to let go and when she does he picks places her arm behind her knees lifting her into a fireman's carry.
Sora sighs gratefully, "This is getting to be too much" She says, "I mean look at her…" She trails off helplessly.
Mimi on the other hand is far too drunk to notice that they're referring to her, "You got a nice chest Tai, its comfortable" She giggles, nuzzling her face into his chest.
Sora rolls her eyes, "I'm gonna go back inside, you think you'll be able to take her home?" She asks hopefully.
Tai nods, "Yeah, I got this, go hang out with uh Paris or who ever" He offers her a smile.
She lets out a small laugh, "Come around more often, will you?" She winks.
He nods one more time but doesn't believe that he'll be in New York again any time soon. "I'll see you at the house" He's referring to Mimi and Sora's villa in the Upper East Side, where he's currently staying.
Mimi looks up at him with half-lidded eyes, "You're so cute" She murmurs, reaching up to stroke his face, "So hot" She corrects herself.
Tai breathes out patiently, hailing a cab for them to take. While he isn't as intoxicated as she is he knows that his BAC (blood alcohol content) is higher then the limit. "No like this, Taxi!" She yells drunkenly.
He's given up on discipling her, she's twenty seven years old and at this point it's her life what she wants to do is her business. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't pain him to see her like this. Especially when he remembers the girl she used to be and when he realizes the person she's become. Life really is a bitch.
A taxi finally stops in front of them, the driver quickly gets out to open the door for them noticing that Tai's hands are currently well, full. "Thanks" Tai mumbles, carefully putting Mimi in before sliding into the car himself.
She immediately shifts closer to him, "You're gorgeous" She complimenting him again and under any other circumstances he'd smirk but she just makes him uncomfortable. This is Mimi, the girl he's known since they were nine, making a pass at her just seems wrong. Especially in the state that she's in now.
It killed him to watch her make a mess out of her life but he always stayed out of it. Convincing himself that the tabloids made her life seem a lot worse then it really was. But then when he witnessed it himself, he realized how wrong he'd been these past five years. And gained a new found appreciation for Sora, dealing with this on an almost daily basis.
"Tai" She called out, reaching a hand up and facing him towards her, "Do you love me?" She asks, her hazel eyes wide with anticipation.
He's taken aback but answers her anyway, "Sure I do Meems" He says fondly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears.
She swats his hand away, "Don't do that" She says almost angrily, and it leads him to think that she might be slightly bipolar. Or maybe just severely drunk. Probably the latter.
He opens his mouth to say something but is immediately silenced. By her lips. On his. It takes him a minute to register what going on, she's kissing him. "Mimi!" He lightly pushes her off him, "We can't be doing this" He mutters, running a hand through his messy hair.
She looks up at him, "Fuck you then" She seethes, sliding towards the opposite side.
Tai runs a hand over his face in frustration. He can't wait to be out of New York, at least then she'll be out of sight out of mind, he won't have to worry about her. He'll just focus on soccer and possibly getting laid and life will be good. Stress-free and completely uninhibited.
But that never did ease his guilt. And at the end of the day he was always left with an overwhelming sense of disappointment and well pity. Poor girl, she had no idea what fame's done to her.
-x-
Fame had ruined what she once was. But he'd taken everything away from her long before that. They all assumed the change in personality, the bitterness, the unhappiness came from the fact that she couldn't live a normal life. But it was from the ache in that foreign region where her heart used to be. It was from the emptiness she felt every time she was alone. It was from those old as time wounds that never did heal. From the feeling of looking for something she could never find. And the inevitable pain that would ensue when she realized there was never anything to find in the first place.
He'd lost everything too but he was a lot more subtle about it. He never let anyone see past his finely sculpted façade. Making sure every single detail of his life was perfectly in place. Making it as if she'd never existed in the first place. As if she didn't matter. Because it was all he could do, all he was capable of. But no amount of ignorance could take away that dull stab that he'd feel every time he'd see her on the cover of a catalog, or (more frequently) on the cover of a tabloid.
But here's a comforting thought—once you've hit bottom, things can only go up right?
"Mimi, don't forget about the Ralph Lauren ad. It's tomorrow" Sora reminded the half conscious girl that morning.
Wrong.
-x-
A/N: Here's the sequel! First chapter, how was it? A little erratic right? I just had to encompass five years worth of information into that one chapter. I hope it captivated you guys enough to keep reading and also, review! Because I need it!
So yeah, tell me what you guys think please! I've already written chapters two and three (I'm growing obsessed with this story) so I won't make you guys wait too long for updates. I'm thinking…weekly? We'll see how it goes.
Ciao!
-Liya
P.S- This is going to be a P.O.V story, I feel like it's a little more descriptive that way. So starting with chapter two it's gonna go back and forth between Mimi and Matt's point of view. I just thought you guys would want to know! :]
Oh and I'm pretty sure that the chapter title is a song, Christina Beta'd for me and she picked the title so its safe to assume it probably it is. I should ask her though…