Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so please don't sue me:)

VICTORY CHEER

"Spike," a blonde girl called as she followed a man outside.

"You should go back inside, Buffy," Spike replied. "Finish the big group sing, get your kumbayayas out."

"But I don't want to."

"The day you suss out what you do want there'll be a parade. Seventy-six trombones."

"Spike…"

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything."

"I touch the fire and it freezes me," Buffy sang incongruously.

"I died so many years ago," Spike continued.

"This isn't real."

"But you can make me feel."

"But I just want to feel."

A chorus (in which both of their voices could be distinctly heard) took over as their lips met.

"Where do we go from here?"

A loud, mechanical wheezing sound interrupted them, but they ignored the blue police box that appeared nearby. A man in a long brown coat walked out, locking the door behind him.

The man started humming, then stopped as he saw the couple kissing. They broke apart at the sound of what they assumed was human company, and stared at the strangely attired man. "Oh, sorry, um, didn't mean to interrupt or anything… uh…and I will just be going." He started to edge away.

"Wait," called Buffy. "That police box wasn't there before."

The man from the police box stopped and came back.

"Oh, you noticed that," said the man, running his hands through his hair. "Well, I'm the Doctor."

"I'm Buffy, and this is Spike." The Doctor shook hands with Buffy and Spike, though even as they did so Spike kept his left arm around Buffy.

"So, you're a warlock? Or a demon?" Spike asked.

"Uh, neither…can you tell me where I am? At first glance it looked like early twenty-first century America, but that question doesn't exactly fit the profile," the Doctor said warily. "Neither does the singing."

As he spoke, the singing that could be heard coming from inside the building behind them started to grow louder, as if the singers were approaching. As a redhead stepped out from a building Spike and Buffy hurriedly stepped apart. The Doctor raised an eyebrow as the girl who had just emerged stopped singing and stared. Another two women with blonde and mousy-brown hair (respectively) followed, along with a dark-haired teenage girl and two men, one a lot older than the other.

"Uh, Willow, what are you staring at?" the younger man asked the redhead, who had started to hyperventilate.

"Buffy…and Spike…" Willow managed. Spike smiled and raised his chin, while Buffy hid her head in her hands. "He had his arm…ugh…around…her…"

"Ok, Willow, that's really not funny," said the younger man, as the older man took off his glasses and hurriedly started cleaning them. "Buffy? Please tell me that she's joking?" Her only reply was a groan. "Oh my gosh." He looked down.

"So… you and Buffy are going out or something?" the Doctor asked, trying to make sense of why everyone seemed so upset.

"Hey!" the woman with blonde hair said. "Xander is engaged to me. And who are you, anyway?"

"Anja, let's not get off the topic," Xander said hurriedly. "Buffy? I bet you were about to punch Spike, weren't you? Weren't you?"

"Um…" Buffy said. Spike laughed.

"Oh, I'm sure she was. Weren't you, love?" he said.

"Did you just call Buffy 'love??'" the older man said.

"Take it easy Giles," Spike replied, still laughing, as he turned and started to leave. The Doctor backed away from the main group and followed.

"So, what's the big deal about you getting together with Buffy?" he asked Spike.

"To begin with, I'm a vammm…um…what's it to you?"

"I was only wondering."

"Hey, you never answered that question about what you were…" Spike punched the Doctor lightly on the shoulder and winced, holding his head. "Not demon, then. Warlock?"

"No, I'm just a normal…well… I'm a scientist."

"A scientist? What do you know about the brain, and operating on it?"

"That's a strange topic."

"I'm a strange vam – um, person."

"What are you – you keep on nearly saying that you're something beginning with vam, but never get any further than that. And why are we entering a graveyar- Wait a second. You're a vam…"

Suddenly a vampire jumped out from behind a nearby tombstone. Spike stepped forward, and after a brief fight, pinned him down, picking up a fallen branch nearby and driving it into the vampire's heart. The vampire dissolved into dust, and Spike stood up, wiping his hands on his jacket.

"Yeah, you're right, I'm a vampire," he said. "I live in a crypt not far from here."

"But if that was a vampire, then why aren't you all pointy teeth and wrinkly forehead? What am I even saying…how can vampires exist? They don't exist! They can't exist! Then what just tried to attack us…?"

"Vampire's exist. Get over it."

"And you aren't trying to bite me because…"

"There's a chip in my brain that means I can't hurt humans."

The Doctor stopped in his tracks. Spike looked back at him.

"Then how can't you hurt me? Oh gosh… please tell me I'm not human. I need a stethoscope…"

"You're not human?"

"Gallifreyan."

"What-if-they-an?"

"I'm a Time Lord, I'm from Gallifrey… it's a planet. Don't worry, you shouldn't have heard of it. Anyway, I'm not human."

"You reckon you're an alien. Oh, like that Queller thing Ben let loose… right. Then how come you look like a human?"

"How come you do?"

"Your species can mask itself the way vampires do?"

"Vampires can mask themselves?"

Spike rolled his eyes, changing into vampire form and back. The Doctor raised his eyebrows.

"Your species wouldn't have been called krillitane at one point, would it?" the Doctor asked. "It's just, they did something a bit like that too…"

Spike just stared.

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"Buffy, please…what just happened?" the teenager was asking.

"Dawn, I…"

"HE IS A VAMPIRE, BUFFY!!!" Dawn screamed at her sister.

"I know, I know… it…it was the spell…"

"I think that the spell was lifted when the demon guy disappeared, Buffy. Or were you too busy staring into dear Spikey-wikey's eyes to notice?" Xander pointed out cruelly.

"Don't call him that," Buffy said.

"And I'm not sure that the spell was lifted, Xander," Tara said quietly.

"Don't interrupt while I'm having a go at Buffy," Xander said, glaring at his new victim. "Spike had his arm around her waist. That's serious! And we don't know what they were doing before that… they could have been singing, or even worse - hugging!"

"Tara is right about the spell not being lifted, though," Giles said. "Remember singing 'where do we go from here'? I know I was under that demon's influence for that." There were hurried nods of agreement all around.

"So we might start singing again at any point?" Xander cried, standing up. "Oh my gosh, I need some ear-muffs!"

"I've got a theory," Anja sang. "In absence of demon, his spell automatically, leaves and that's been proven."

The group waited tensely for a moment, before breathing a sigh of relief when no one else took up the song.

"Sorry," Anja apologised. "I just meant to say that even if he didn't lift the spell, once a demon leaves a reality, like I'd say this one has, the spell automatically lifts after a while. Except for vengeance demon spells, because…we're special."

"Does that only work for demon spells?" Willow asked, interested.

"Willow! How many times? No. More. Magick!" Tara said loudly. Willow looked at her questioningly, but Tara just looked away. There was a pause in the conversation as the group recovered from Tara's outburst.

"I think I'll just close up the shop," Giles eventually said. Everyone got up to leave. "Buffy? I think you should patrol."

"Yeah. Slay a few vampires – that's just what I need to do," Buffy said, grabbing a couple of stakes and storming out.

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"So, in wherever we are, demons, witches, warlocks, vampires…they all exist?" the Doctor asked. He was sitting opposite Spike in the top level of the crypt. The latter was having a few glasses from a suspiciously square bottle.

"Where are you from, that they don't?"

"I don't know where here is, so I can't exactly say where I'm from. Especially not in terms that you'd understand."

"You saying I'm stupid?"

"Well, there is a slightly Mickey-like air about you…" The Doctor was interrupted as the door was smashed in by a foot. Buffy walked in. The Doctor raised his eyebrows, but Spike treated the dramatic entrance as the norm and walked over to greet her. She punched him on the nose. He treated this as normal also. Buffy looked up and saw the Doctor.

"Would you mind leaving?" she asked, giving him her address. He left quickly with his hands above his head, and his eyebrows doing their best to join them. Buffy turned back to Spike, who was just watching her with his head on an angle, and punched him again.

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Willow answered the door, and let the Doctor in silently. He followed her to the living room, where everyone except for Dawn and Giles were sitting on couches.

"I'm sure that there's some feasible explanation we just haven't thought of yet," Xander was saying. He saw the Doctor had walked in. "And who are you anyway? Hey, are you a warlock? Did you cast a spell over Buffy to make her let Spike touch her like that?"

"Why does everyone keep on asking me if I'm a warlock, or a demon, or something?" the Doctor said, getting annoyed.

"Well, you haven't killed any of us yet and we haven't invited you in as far as I know, so you can't be a vampire, can you?" Anja said.

"Why does no one just think, 'hey, maybe that guy's just a normal person?'"

"Are you a normal person?" Tara asked.

"Well, no, but still…"

"What are you then?" Anja said. "I'm no Giles, but I did use to live in one of the demon universes – I know a bit about them, and I'm the expert on vengeance demons."

"How did you get into one of these universes? How many are there?" The Doctor was interested now.

"Well, I was just a normal witch," Anja started, loving to talk about herself. "But then there was this one guy I went out with, and he two-timed me really badly, so I turned him into a troll."

"That one came back to haunt us," Willow muttered. The Doctor and Anja shushed her, and Anja continued.

"Anyway, this demon summoned me and turned me into a vengeance demon. So I did that for about a thousand years, then someone's ex -"

"Hey! Not my fault!" Xander said, offended, when she glared at him.

"- got me to create a universe where Buffy never came to Sunnydale. Then that Giles found out that that world wasn't the original world, and broke my amulet, which turned me into a mortal."

"Well, there's a scientific explanation for all that," the Doctor said.

"What is it?" Tara asked, frowning.

"I don't know, I haven't found it yet."

"Spike, just leave me alone!" came Buffy's voice from outside, accompanied by a loud thunk.

"At long last – if Buffy's beating Spike up again, everything's back to normal!" Xander said, grinning.

"We have to talk, Buffy. We kissed!" Spike shouted as the front door slammed shut in his face. Xander's face fell.

"Whoa. Kissed?" he asked as Buffy walked in. She threw her hands up and stormed out. The Doctor followed her, glaring back at Xander.

"Buffy, explain what is happening," he said, catching her on the way up the stairs.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Trust me, it will help. So. Who is Spike? Everything that you know."

"He's a vampire. I think he was changed in… 1800 and thirty-something? Yes, by Drusilla, who is this total nutcase with the sight. So he was in a gang with Drusilla, Angel, and another woman, that's right, Darla, Angel's sire, for ages."

"An angel? The sight? Sire?"

"I think the gang split up after Spike killed a slayer."

"Slayer?"

"It's like a super-strong woman who is given the power and responsibility to kill vampires. The chosen one. I'm the slayer for this generation."

"You're super-strong? The 'chosen one'?"

"Spike killed a slayer, and I think that's when he and Drusilla broke off from the rest of the gang, and Spike came and killed another slayer, this time in New York. That's where he got that coat of his."

"He killed a slayer and bought a coat?"

"Knocking off slayers became a bit of a hobby for him, so I think he came and found me. Or maybe…A curse, or possibly a mob in Prague weakened Drusilla a bit before they came here or something, so probably came to the Hellmouth so she could recuperate. He found a cure here, so maybe he knew the book was here and came after it."

"Prague? Hellmouth?"

"Ask Giles – the older guy who's down there. He's my watcher – that's kind of like the slayer's teacher. I'm chosen to be strong, he's chosen to be researchy."

"Researchy?!"

"Whatever. Anyway, Spike left and came back a few times, until this military organisation shoved a chip in his head so that he can't hurt people."

"A chip? The military?"

They came to a door where Buffy stopped. "Look, I'm kind of tired…"

"I'm gone," he said, running away from her with his hands above his head for the second time that night.

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Buffy closed her eyes as she walked into her room. She opened them again quickly when Spike, who had been waiting for her, kissed her. She pushed him off and punched him twice, quickly, before he leant in for another kiss. This time she forgot to fight him off, and the couple turned around as Spike shut the door.

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The Doctor was listening in amusement to Xander and Dawn running through more and more creative and desperate ways that Buffy might not have kissed Spike. Giles had managed to tell the Doctor the state of affairs with minimal repetition on his listener's part.

"Maybe he actually said missed!" said Xander. He was excited about this one.

"What?" Dawn replied, less so.

"Maybe," Xander started to explain. "He and another demon tried to kill Buffy, with a crossbow or a gun or something, and at the last minute Spike jumped in and pushed her out of the way."

"Hence the arm around her!" Dawn continued. "And so Buffy was really angry at him for trying to kill her, and so he was saying 'we missed,' because he thought outlining the fact that they didn't kill her would make things better!"

"And Buffy didn't explain because it was such a long story and she didn't think we'd believe her!" Willow finished triumphantly.

"Uh, you do know…" the Doctor said hesitantly. He decided to keep his peace when the glares were turned on him. "I mean, what was that noise?"

A thump had resounded just outside. Giles went to the window and pulled aside the curtains, looking out to see what had happened.

"Nothing there," he said, returning to his place by the mantelpiece.

He had missed the blonde hair and black leather coat flapping in the wind as the owners ran in the direction of the graveyard.

I know this is incomplete, but don't hold your breath waiting for the next chapter. Unless you're a vampire, in which case it won't really matter.