Author Diddy: I have no excuses for this piece. Was listening to my iPod on shuffle and a song by the same title brought this little bunny to mind. Um, couldn't sleep the plot bunny was so rabidly hyper. Hopefully everyone else enjoys the random PWP as much as I do.

I'll get right on all the rest of my fics right now, now that this is out of the way.

If you want to read the uncut version, it's almost 900 words longer, head on over to one of my other accounts.

Disclaimer: Dear Merlin, what am I doing to these poor characters?

What Would Happen?


The man had escaped Azkaban! It was as simple as that. True, he had escaped as one of many in the largest breakout in the prison's history, and I'm sure there were so many other escapees I should be concerned about - but he had escaped! While he was safely locked away it had been easy to pretend the need to be close to him had never been there. That I had never felt the man's seductive aura caressing my skin. Had never wondered what would happen if -

"Harry? Honestly, if you ask me one more time to help you with your NEWT studies, and then proceed to do nothing but gaze vacantly out the windows I will send you to Poppy with a dictionary lodged so far up your -"

Whip my head around to blink at the no longer bushy haired Head Girl, leaping across our books to clap my hands over her mouth. "Easy 'Mione, no need to scare the First Years with your language."

Teeth sinking into the fleshy pads of my palm I yank my hand away hissing, "Salazar 'Mione, musst you bite me?"

Clenched fists striking the tabletop she levels me with her best 'patrolling the halls' glare. "Harry James Potter, you will listen to me or I will do what I threatened!"

Hold up empty hands, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry 'Mione."

Rolling up the essay we were working on she smacks me upside the head with it. "I don't understand you boys; you with your head always chasing imaginary snitches, and Ron forever swearing that homework gives him nightmares. At this rate neither of you are going to amount to much."

"'Mione!"

Ignoring the younger students in the common room who were staring at her treatment of the Boy-Who-Lived she snips, "It's true you know, if you don't receive a certain number of NEWTs you are never going to get a job, Wizarding Savior or not."

"Now you sound like Snape."

"Its Professor Snape Harry, and he's right about it." Brandishing the essay at my skull she growls, "Now are you going to actually put some effort into this, or shall I leave you to your daydreams?"

Tossing my head vehemently I moan, "Please 'Mione, don't leave me with my thoughts! With the thought of h-all those escaped prisoners!"

Parchment dropped to the table she flushes, fingers lifted to her mouth in shock. "Oh Harry, is that why you keep drifting?" Manage a nod as I struggle to keep him off my mind. "Alright, you're forgiven. I can't very well hold that against you, can I?" Amused snort she mutters, "The things I put up with for you."

Making a show of interest in my History of Magic text I lift my quill, giving her a crooked grin. "You love me, you really do!"

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Blond head of the ferret drawing my attention as I meander into the dungeons for Potions I can't help but grin. Good thing 'Mione was safely distracted by Ron, neither of them would allow the Slytherin near me. Picking up my pace I call out, "Malfoy! Got a minute?"

Steps halting he flicks bored silver eyes over his shoulder. "What do you want Potter?"

Reach his side, eyes twinkling madly, "Want to help me experiment?" Here's to hoping our unspoken truce holds up under this pressure.

"Pardon? I could have sworn I heard you say experiment," he drawls. Arms crossed he leans back against the wall, cool face almost blank of expression.

At least he isn't hexing me into next week, though this is a bit colder then usual. "Cor, I did say experiment Malfoy. I want to know if you'll help me with one." Need to see if it was a Pureblood thing I was drawn to - even though I've never felt that same tug around him as I do around him. "I promise it won't hurt. Won't take more than a second either."

Flicker of something in those eyes, "Then we will be on our way?"

Nod, "Won't even make us late for Potions."

Long suffering sigh reminiscent of 'Mione, he shoves himself upright, hands dropping to hand by his sides. "What do I have to do Potter?"

"Just -" freeze as a white snake with eerily familiar eyes pokes its head from his book bag. Swallowing convulsively I take a few quick steps back as that force lashes out at me. Forked tongue tasting the air the serpent turns to stare at me. Heart thudding I gasp, "Never mind Malfoy, you've already given me my answer."

Tensing when he follows my gaze to the snake he hisses, "Potter -"

"No, don't worry, not a word from me," one last look at those eyes watching me, "I have to go!" Fleeing down the hall in a desperate attempt to escape him I whimper.

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Dodging Malfoy had become my new specialty. So did not want to explain what had happened last week to him. Didn't help that he was in the castle all the time now, taunting me with that magnetism of his! Empty hallway before me I breath a sigh of relief. I'd escaped him again.

"Potter."

Yelp and whirl at the sound of my surname in that drawl. Cheeks burning I stare at the blond lounging casually against a wall. HIM! Mercurial eyes holding something new, something they hadn't held before Azkaban, he arches a brow at me. Choking on my own breath I halt my unconscious steps towards him.

Where in the nine hells was the ferret?

Smooth roll of his shoulders shifting his body away from the stones he prowls closer. "What is it you wished to ask of my son Potter?"

Sweet Merlin.

Heart in my throat I clutch at my robes as he stops with only a few mere inches separating us. Aura reaching out for me, cocooning me, I shudder. "Lucius," I whisper into the strained silence, my hands moving on their own accord, tangling themselves in blond. Mouth lifting, meeting his I whimper. Bloody hell, what was I doing?

Body tensing for a second before me I go to break the contact we have. Please let me get away with my life.

Startled squeak jumping from my throat I melt against him, his hands forcing me closer. Teeth nipping at my lips I readily open beneath his demands, submitting to his greedy tongue. Head spinning I fight for air as he pulls away with a bite of teeth. Lights flickering in the corners of my closed eyes I answer each of the oxygen robbing kisses pressed on me.

Stones against my back I arch into his heat, panting as that mouth drops to suckle at my neck. Breathy whimpers fill the hall. Hiss, teeth bared, as he pierces skin. Caress of a hot tongue soothing the burn I hang limply in his grip. That was going to show. Lips returning to mine he breaks away with a gasp, "My son."

Arms suddenly empty I sag to the floor, a white serpent slithering into my lap. Gray eyes regarding me with longing it twists to peer up at the newly arrived Slytherin. Dizzy, I gaze up through my bangs at the ferret. "What do you want Malfoy?"

Crouching down before me he whispers, "Merlin, what happened to you?"

"Nothing," I mutter, absently trailing my fingers along the snake's spine.

Silver eyes lock on the reptile on me he snaps, "Serafine! You know you are not supposed to wander."

Baring fangs at his son, Lucius snarls, 'Why you little - I ought to bite you for that!'

Giggling at the two bickering Malfoys I squawk when a pale hand grabs hold of my robes, heaving me to my feet. Turn wide eyes to take in the sight of one Severus Snape, gulping as his mouth opens to berate me. White blur I gape as Snape leaps backwards, wand out, the serpentine form of Lucius spitting curses at him. Jumping in front of his Head of House's wand the younger Malfoy shouts something at the man. Taking that as my cue, I dart deeper into the dungeons.

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Fingers grasp the silk and velvet of his robe, mouth crushed to his, the wall of yet another shady hallway behind my back. Breaking apart for air I whine, "Not fair."

Pale hands buried in my hair he shifts against me, swollen lips ghosting across my jaw. "What is not fair?" he whispers, breath scalding as it fills my ear.

Hiss when his teeth catch my earlobe between them, gasping, "C-can't ge-et more th-than a few kiss-ses before t-they come."

Releasing my earlobe he regards me with an arched brow before dipping his lips to mine. Tongue plunging into my mouth hungrily he drops a hand to my waist. "You do have a point."

Pouting up at him, those heated silver eyes making me shiver, I tug at his robes. "Course I do," snag a quick kiss, "I am the Boy-Who-Lived you know."

Sniggering his amusement he flicks his eyes down the hall, "Do you know of a place where we would be uninterrupted?" Footsteps bouncing off the stones he shifts back to his animagus form, my hands draping him around my shoulders as I begin to run again.

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Giving me a serpentine look of disgust as I slip into Myrtle's bathroom, Lucius quickly hides himself in my school robe's hood as Myrtle rises from her toilet. "Harry? What are you doing here? You haven't visited me for weeks!"

"I know," hands upheld towards her, hoping to pacify her, "and I'm sorry about that, but I really can't talk now." Jaw dropping as I eagerly turn to the sink, hissing at it to open, she wails as I jump into the chute, Chamber entrance closing above me.

Tumbling over as I hit the bottom I giggle when Lucius slithers away from me, returning to his human form. Hand held down, he lifts me to my feet, stormy eyes gazing about the bone infested caverns.

"Romantic," he drawls.

Smacking his arm I trudge purposefully in the direction of the chamber I remember fighting the basilisk in. Tossing a look over my shoulder I purr, "You wanted uninterrupted." Wand in hand I blast the fallen rocks that had trapped me five years ago out of my way.

"Impressive."

Ducking in a mocking bow I reach out, twining my hand with one of his. "Come on you bloody Slytherin." Chamber door opening at my command I re-enter the grand hall of Salazar Slytherin's making.

Blond tacking the lead, pulling me along, he stares around in surprise. "Merlin, is this what I think it is?"

Happy that he's dropped the one word comments I slide closer to him, "Mm, Salazar's Chamber of Secrets."

"Pot-Harry -" flustered he jerks his eyes away from the basilisk carcass.

Tilting my chin up I hiss, "Kiss me."

Arching a brow at my demand he shrugs, unoccupied hand snagging in my hair. Lips I was rapidly becoming intimately familiar with meeting mine he drags me close. Sharp nip at my bottom lip I open, welcoming his tongue with my own.

((the rest of this scene has been cut to protect the little children, yess, the children))

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Bursting into the unused girl's bathroom on the second floor I search for Moaning Myrtle's ghost. Snape at my back I call, "Myrtle?"

Exiting her favorite stall she giggles, "Two pretty boys in one day?"

"Myrtle, did Potter come through here?"

Batting her eyelashes at me she nods, bobbing in the air in front of me. "Oh yes, that rude boy did. He wouldn't stop to talk to me." Pout threatening her face she moans, "No one loves poor Myrtle anymore!"

"Where is Potter?" Snape demands, patience lost.

Letting out a wail she shrieks, "Down in that creepy Chamber doing naughty things with a blond man!" Water flying into the air as she dives into a toilet I twist to stare at my Head of House.

"That snake-"

"My father."

"I see, and Potter-"

"Had him when he ran."

"So the blond-"

"My father," I whisper, not wanting to think about it.

"I see." Unfathomable ebon eyes piercing straight through me Snape gives an elegant shrug, "I believe I need to drink myself into a stupor to attempt to cleanse my Inner Eye."

Howling with hysterical laughter, I collapse to the floor of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, images of my father and Potter dancing in my mind.