~Well...I was very mad at my Zelda game, for deleting my good game file. The one where I had already beaten the game. So, of course, the characters must suffer for this. They must! (Wait till you see the end...)~

Zelda Bash!

***
(Scene is: Stone Tower Temple)

Link: *Looks over the edge* "Let me get this straight. If I shoot that freaky red scarab thingy, the whole tower will flip over?"

Tael: "Right!"

Link: *Shudders* "But it looks like those bugs from The Mummy...if I shoot it, will it attack me and start crawling around under my skin?"

Tael: *Sigh* "It's fake, you dumb blond. Just shoot the scarab already!"

Link: *Blink* "Okay..." *Grabs his bow and fires an arrow at the scarab*

Tower: "Creak, creak, creak...BAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!"

Link: *Looks around* "WOAH!" *Runs into the temple*

(In the temple)

Link: *Takes a startled step back* "This place is upside-down, too!"

Tael: "No, really?"

Link: *Looking around* "I wonder...if it's upside down, are we upside down, too? So...that would mean...if I jump offa this ceiling bar, then I'll fall...up?"

Tael: *Shrug* "I wouldn't try it, if I were you."

Link: *Ignoring Tael, starts jumping up and down and clapping* "Then I can fly!" *Jumps off of the bar*

Tael: *Starts dinging the way fairies do when they're afraid*

Link: *Falls...up! No, down...no, up...no...D'OH! I'm confused! Anyways, he falls like a stone...falling...falling...*

Tael: *Zips down and grabs onto the back of Link's shirt* "I'll save you!"

Link+Tael: *Hover for a moment, then...*

WHOOSH! SPLATTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dampe': *Comes and scrapes the two of them into a jar with a putty knife, then carries them off to the graveyard*

~No more Link and Tael~

***

(Scene is: The Top of the Clocktower)

Skullkid: *Twitches his head around, making those clicking noises* "It's boring up here, huh, Bob?"

Moon: "Yeah, I know. And I really gotta go."

Skullkid: *Looks up at the Moon* "Bob, moons can't go. Besides, *I* gotta go!"

Moon: *Bares his teeth at Skullkid*

Skullkid: *Turns around and moons the Moon*

Moon: *Roars*

All The People of Termina: *Look up in surprise*

Moon: *Eats Skullkid*

A.T.P.o.T.: "The Moon is EVIL!" *Pull out a rocket launcher*

BAMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

~No more moon...No more Skullkid.~

***

(Scene is: Zora Cape)

Japas: *Suddenly looks up from his guitar* "Hey, Evan, did you feel that?"

Evan: *Looks at Japas* "Yeah...did the fish just move?"

Lulu: *Stops singing* "Well, it serves to reason. We've lived in this fish for years, it's gotta move sometime."

Drummer Guy: *Pokes at the fish's rib with a drumstick* "So...I always thought the fish was dead."

Toto: *Shrugs* "Well...I wonder what's gonna happen?"

Fish: *Suddenly starts swimming around as fast as it can*

All: *Scream bloody blue murder*

Gerudo Leader: "Thar she blows!"

Gerudos: *Fire a harpoon*

SPLINK! KCHHHHHH...

Fish: *Screams bloody blue murder*

All: *Scream bloody blue murder*

Gerudos: *Drag the fish onto their boat and start rowing off towards their hideout*

~Some time later...~

Lulu: *Sniffs the air* "Ooo, something smells good!"

Japas: *Sniff* "Dude, man! It's fish!"

Evan: "Fish?" *Smacks Japas* "We're fish, you idiot!"

Drummer Guy: *Shrieks like a girl*

~Some more time later...~

Gerudos: *Sit down to eat*

Gerudo Leader: "Does this taste a little...different...to any of you?"

Gerudos: *Nod*

Gerudo Leader: "But it's good! Dig in!"

Gerudos: *Eat like a pack of rabid wolves*

~No more Zoras~

~No more Gerudos, either.~

~They got food poisoning.~

***

(Scene is: The Goron Village)

Goron Baby: *Starts crying*

Gorons: *Automatically clap their hands over their ears*

Goron Elder: *Takes out a drum and gets ready to play the Goron Lullabye*

Author-Hiding-In-The-Shadows: *Sniggers, holding a bottle of nitroglycerin*

Goron Elder: *Hits the drum*

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

~No more Gorons~

***

(Scene is: Deku Palace)

Monkey: *Doing a little monkey dance*

Dekus: *Clapping for the monkey*

Monkey: *Grabs a log out of the fire and does a fire-eater trick*

Dekus: *Cheer and whistle*

Monkey: *Bows*

Dekus: *Yell for an encore*

Monkey: *Suddenly belches flame*

Deku King: *Hops around frantically, trying to put out the fire that started on his head, also setting the whole palace on fire*

Deku Palace: *Burns to the ground*

~No more Dekus~

***

(Scene is: Romani Ranch)

Romani: *Lobotomized from the aliens* "Uuuu...urgh....."

Cremia: *Hiding in the corner* "please oh please oh please don't look for me here, please Romani...please........"

Romani: *Looks in the corner* "EeeeeeeeeeRAUGH!" *Eats Cremia*

~No more Cremia~

Romani: *Spontaneously combusts*

~No more Romani, no more cows~

***

(Scene is: The Stock Pot Inn)

Tingle: *Helping Anju in the kitchen, dancing like an idiot*

Kafei: *Sitting on one of the crates, fishing in one of the little streams that goes right through the Inn*

Rosa Sisters: "I want dinner! I want dinner! I want dinner!"

Anju: *Getting annoyed*

Anju's Grandma: *Comes in on her spiky wheelchair of doom, (No, really. It is!) screaming like a banshee*

Anju: "AIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *Drops several plates*

CRASH SHATTER!!!!!!!!!!

Hand-In-The-Toilet: *Rips one*

Stock Pot Inn: *Blows up*

~No more...um, a lot of people. Actually...no more Clock Town.~

***

Wait one moment! Have I already destroyed everyone...? No...there's a few more...I'll take care of them all at once...*Smirk*

***

(Scene is: Hovering Three Thousand Feet Above Termina)

Author: *Spreads her arms* "I call forth my evil minions of the feline race! Go, and eat!"

Millions and Millions of Cats: *Come flying out of nowhere and proceed to eat every citizen of Termina that still happens to be alive*

Author: "Mwa-hahahahaaaaa!!!! MWA- HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Excellent! Excellent! YA-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" *Stops for a moment* "Kinda wish I didn't kill Link and Kafei, though..." *Shrug* "Oh well. CATS! THE FINISH!"

Cats: *All start howling at once*

Termina: *Blows up*

Author: ~A moment before Termina blows~ (.