As the door to his private office opened, Fire Lord Zuko drew a deep breath.
"Is it…?"
The woman shook her head in pity. Her sea blue eyes were deep with regret.
"No, Zuko. The child did not survive. She couldn't manage to keep it. We took every precaution, but just like last time, the process was too violent. It's like some kind of inner fire keeps seizing her up, making her cramp and eject the baby from her womb. I'm sorry. I did my best, but just like last time, my water bending just didn't suffice. I just couldn't manage to still the process."
He was vaguely aware of her drawing up close to hug him to her softly rounded body. Sweet Katara, ever maternal. The perfect midwife. Except so far, she'd managed to save none of his children from being ejected prematurely from his wife's thin body.
He patted her head absentmindedly as she hugged him.
"It's the fifth one, Katara. It's killing her. I can tell."
He was staring distractedly into the black veined, dark red marble of the palace wall. Like fresh meat, with drying veins. It took a supreme effort to pull his mind away from its macabre musings. The woman in his arms raised her head. The sea blue eyes were shining with some kind of unfathomable emotion. She seemed reluctant to release him.
"You must go to her, Zuko. She needs your comfort."
Her voice was gentle. Yet, her deceptively strong arms seemed to have trouble letting go. Her soft body felt warm and comfortable against his. Trapped in despair, the Fire Lord was oblivious to the soft plump curves. He stared unseeingly over her head.
"What was it? A…" He couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Yes. A baby boy, five months gone. He was quite perfect. I wrapped him in the silk bindings myself. Will you name him for the funeral?"
The Fire Lord shook his dark head gravely. "No, Katara. I swore to only name a living child. A Firebender to continue the Royal Line of the Fire Nation. An heir to the Phoenix Throne."
Something was grating at the back of his mind, crowding it. Releasing the dark skinned woman from his grasp, he gently pushed her away from him. Womanhood and five years without living rough in the wilderness to fight a deadly war had made Katara pleasantly plump. Still, her blue eyes were as bright as ever, her instinct to protect and nurture quite as strong. All to no avail. In spite of being elevated to the position of Royal Midwife to the Fire Nation, she had failed him. Yet again.
"Thanks, Katara. I'll go to her. Pray leave us alone."
He strode out of the room, ignoring the moistness in her sea blue eyes.
The Royal Bed was huge, surrounded by shiny scarlet hangings with gold braid. Efficient as always, the serving women must had just changed the stained sheets. In spite of the clean bedlinen and the scent of freshly lit incense, the smell of blood hung heavily in the air. As one of the women paused to present a tiny bundle wrapped in crimson silk to him, the Fire Lord bent to kiss it briefly. His heart shattered in a thousand shards. The same image that had kept repeating itself like a neverending nightmare during the past four years. Going on five years into his marriage, the foul dream kept repeating. He was stuck, unable to escape.
The woman with the bundle scurried out, followed by her silent minions. He approached the bed, tied up in knots of anxiousness. She was lying with her back turned to him, the plush silk duvets pulled up to her waist and bunched up over her belly. He climbed up behind her to catch her slender shoulder in his hand.
"Mai, my love…" His voice was soft, the hand tender. His heart was breaking with the realization of having caused her this pain yet again.
She was staring into the opposite wall, refusing to meet his eyes. The ladies in waiting had arranged her shiny black hair in the usual complicated coiffure of a Royal Lady. His grasp on the thin slender shoulder tightened through the black silk robe. Still, she refused to turn and look at him. He sensed that her eyes were dry.
"I failed you, Zuko. I failed you yet again."
Desperation shook him in its icy grasp. He took the slim shoulders in his hands and turned her over forcibly to look at him, trying to be as gentle as he could.
"Don't say that, Mai! It's not your fault! All the doctors have agreed that you are perfectly healthy. The midwives all agree, including Katara."
"Ah. Your precious Katara. Everyone's darling." He failed to register the slight acidic note.
"Mai, I… I'm beginning to suspect it's something about me."
That caused a reaction, a minute start out of the stoic resignation.
"You? But Zuko, that's ridiculous! You are the Fire Lord, the most powerful Firebender of the Four Nations! Your heritage is peerless."
She was staring up at him from underneath glossy black bangs, perfect even after the ordeal of her miscarriage. The pale skin of her thin delicate face was flawless as usual, her narrow elongated eyes as black and bottomless as obsidian. Oh, how he'd loved that pale narrow face, those long slender deadly hands. Braiding his fingers into hers, he stared into her eyes. Pure warmth coursed into her thin wracked body.
"Mai, I love you! Don't doubt it for a moment. Be assured that I will not rest until we've solved this problem."
She laughed mirthlessly. "Maybe you should consider replacing me with somebody more fertile. I know your Ministers have been suggesting it."
No, he wouldn't deny it. Also, he'd refused determinedly to give in. In fact, it had been cause for quite a few of them to get charged with high treason and unceremoniously executed. He gritted his teeth at the thought of their demands becoming more insistent.
"No, Mai! I'm not taking another wife! I'm not replacing you. No. I'm telling you, it's not your fault."
The long black eyes grew even narrower. "The doctors are unanimous, Zuko. You are in perfect health. They've even analyzed your seed. Yet, this keeps happening. It's like Agni himself is directing his wrath towards us. The God of Fire is denying you an heir."
He paled significantly. "Yes, Mai. The thought has struck me with alarming frequency. I've angered the gods. That has to be it. Mai, my love, I want you to be strong. I've told you that I love you, and it's never been more true. Tomorrow, I'll visit the Temple of Agni to speak with the Fire Sages. Today, I'll just stay here and care for you. Don't grieve. We'll find a solution.
As usual, the entrance to the Fire Temple was lined with the devout and supplicant. Of course, the mere flash of a sight of the Fire Lord was enough to make them disperse in all directions. Passing between the ancient pillars, Zuko stared straight ahead and kept on moving. He wouldn't stop until he faced the Cauldron of Agni to hear the verdict of the Fire Sages.
"Fire Lord Zuko. Your presence honours us." The bearded man bowed almost to the floor.
Bloody sycophantic bastards. He was well aware that all of them had bowed similarly to his father, and held their positions since his grandfather before them. Pushing the shadows of Ozai and Azulon aside, he kept striding on, penetrating the innermost sacred chamber. Not until then did he kneel reverently in front of the giant blazing cauldron. The sight and heat of the eternal flames ignited his blood, the very essence of his being. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded oddly alien. Almost as if the spirit of Agni itself had taken hold of him. But no. The voice of Agni was what he was here to find.
"Reverend Sages. I have come to seek your counsel."
Suddenly, he was all obeisance. No revolt, merely reverence.
One of the bearded elders was approaching him.
"Fire Lord Zuko. Are you ready to state your question to the Oracle?"
His hands were trembling. "It's a Secret Question. I have it written down here, on this piece of folded parchment."
Gods, he was getting as paranoid as Azula. Still, under these circumstances, he could take no chances. No human must hear his question and be able to adjust the answer according to what they thought would be the best way to manipulate him. Besides, she'd been right, hadn't she? Everyone had turned against her.
A sharp dislocated stab shot through the very core of his being. Torn apart, he stared momentarily into the mirror image of his own face. From deep down in the golden eyes, someone started to speak to him. Closing in around him, the Fire Sages nodded.
"It's already started. Fire Lord Zuko, Agni has decided to answer your question. Embrace the vision. The Oracle will voice it. Look deep into the Eternal Flame."
The Internal Flame? He'd fucking lost it, years ago. No. He'd never had it in the first place.
Voices were whispering in his ears. Shadows from the past kept gathering around him.
NO! He fell forward on his knees, attempting to keep them out. Around him, the Sages formed a silent circle.
Fuck. This must have been what she'd sensed, what she'd seen and heard all along. Oh no.
Someone was yelling at the top of his lungs. A pure demented shriek of pain. Twin hands were tearing him apart into two mirror images. Pure agony seared their serrated edges. More hands kept reaching out to tear the two pieces of him in half. Four pieces of him, ripped apart and floating on a cold blue and grey ocean. As the screaming increased, the four pieces burst into flames. They were buoying on the stormy ocean that threatened to drown them, tiny flaring sparks.
Oh Gods. The pain.
Above him, a mighty gust of wind kept hurtling the waves over him. They were threatening to part him from the three other tiny sparks, to splash down and extinguish him forever. He was fighting for breath, fighting for his life. With his dying breath, he called out for the only one he knew could save him.
A rush of air through his lungs. The wind and oxygen filling them, mercifully. He was hurled up through the deep waves that threatened to drown him, blowing blissfully through the air. It made his tiny flame recover enough to burn brighter.
Thank you.
The air responded by raising him up and carrying him whichever way he wished. He was searching for those three other tiny sparks. Suddenly, he realized that without them, there would be no hope. He would be lost forever, left to die. The fire would die out forever.
NO! He was screaming the name again, the name of the only one he knew could save him. But as darkness descended, he realized that it was impossible. He'd gone down the wrong road. He'd chosen the wrong path. He was alone in darkness, the other tiny flames extinguished. It was all his fault.
There was just the darkness, the water and the Void.
The tiny spark flickered and died.
"Fire Lord Zuko. Agni has spoken. Allow me to assist you to your feet. The Oracle will voice Agni's words to interpret your vision."
Solicitous hands everywhere, reaching out for him. He was aching all over as if split into a myriad of tiny parts. Cold sweat covered him from head to foot. His throat was sore from screaming. Shocked, he realized that the voice he'd heard had been his own.
He stumbled against the bearded elders. When he finally managed to speak, his voice was raw.
"What… What does the Oracle say?"
The eyelids of one of the bearded Sages fluttered. The words came out in an otherworldly voice, neither male nor female.
"Fire Lord Zuko. You have abandoned your own kin and left them to perish. When they die, so will the line of Agni. The Fire Nation will cease to be. The World Flame will be extinguished."
Pure horror prickled his skin. Around him, he could sense the other Fire Sages seized by an equal terror. No. They weren't staging this for him.
He was fighting for his voice, searching for his inner flame. There was a taste of blood and gall in his mouth.
"Voice of Agni. What must be done to alter this path? I swear on my ancestors that I'll do anything that needs be done. The Royal Line of the Fire Nation must continue."
The Oracle's body was twisted in an awkward posture. His eyes had rolled back into his head. The neither male nor female voice kept speaking.
"Fire Lord Zuko. You must seek out your own and reignite the flames. Without them, your bloodline will perish. There will be no new flame to rekindle the Fire Nation. This is your legacy, Prince Zuko. This is your doing. The world will be cast down into cold and darkness. Agni has spoken."
He collapsed back into the arms of his Fire Sage brethren. Of course, they were well used to the procedure. Catching their fellow Fire Sage nimbly in their arms, two of them carried him away, presumably in order to revive him. Zuko stared in panic at the Head Fire Sage.
"That's it? I mean, did he just say there is no hope? That after me, the Royal bloodline of the House of Agni will die out? That after me, no more Firebenders will be born?"
The Head Fire Sage regarded him gravely. All around him, the other Sages exchanged worried looks. Still, the ritual demanded protocol procedure.
"Fire Lord Zuko, at this stage the procedure requires you to state the Secret Question out loud. "
"Of course." With trembling fingers, he located the piece of parchment in an inner pocket to read it aloud.
"Will I manage to produce an heir?"
Meaningful looks all around them. Of course, the words of the Oracle had indicated something like this.
"My Lord, the Oracle's words would suggest that unless you take the proper actions, the answer's no. 'You must seek out your own and reignite the flames.' The message of Agni would appear to be that you have strangled your own bloodline."
My past and future bloodline, all in one. Of course.
He was floundering. "I can't bloody well ask the Avatar to return my father's bending, can I? He'd fry us all in an instant in revenge. Besides, I don't know if the Avatar could even do it. Even his Firebending properties might not be strong enough. It's one thing to extinguish the flame, and quite another to return it."
The Fire Sage whom the god had chosen for his vehicle had recovered and was sitting up, regarding Zuko in confusion. Compared to the others, he was a comparatively young man with a fresh-faced look that contrasted to that of the elderly Sages.
"Fire Lord Zuko? If I might be so bold as to ask, why do you look to the Avatar in this? True, he is part Firebender. But while I shared the vision with you, I quite clearly heard you shout the name of the person that you sensed could help you. Look inside yourself. Don't you remember?"
Zuko stared at him, wide eyed. Yes, someone had been screaming a name. They were saying that it had been him?
"I… I'm confused. What was the name?" He was trembling with an odd kind of fever. A saviour. Yes, Agni had provided him with the name of someone who could help.
"You mean you don't remember, Fire Lord Zuko?"
He shook his head mutely.
"You were screaming for Princess Azula. You were begging her to help you."
"NO! Tell me you're lying! Tell me you just made this up!" Zuko's yellow eyes were wild.
The Fire Sages stared at him, shaking their heads. The look in every pair of eyes that met his was grave, shaken. Oh Gods. They'd all heard him crying out for her.
"No, Fire Lord Zuko. We all heard you screaming her name and begging for her help."
The wild cry was tearing through his mind. Her face. Her presence.
Exhausted, unable to take any more, he dropped unconscious to the floor.