So this is probably the darkest piece I've ever written, I know some people love this kind of thing, others not so much. So here's your final warning before the plunge...this is EXTREMELY dark, it's violent and it contains adult themes.
So if this worries you, please do not read.
For everyone else, hope this fares well!
Blood trailed from the corners of her mouth, her throat was raw as the heaving stopped and she could no longer throw up the contents of her stomach.
She dropped to her knees and looked up at the man above her, 'stop please.'
A shrill laugh answered her as helplessness washed over her.
Cold hands wrapped around her throat and raised her to her feet pushing her and leading her to the damp room again.
'No, please.' She whispered again.
He opened the door with a gentle nudge and pushed her inside, she feel to her knees landing in a heap on the dusty ground, she tried to crawl away from him with what little energy she mustered to no avail and his satisfied laugh reverberated through her skull.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her against him.
'Your hero is no longer here to save you,' he pressed his mouth to her ear and slammed her down into the bed pushing her face into the mattress.
She closed her eyes as tears poured out staining the sheets under her.
'See, this isn't so bad is it?' He breathed against her pushing her legs open with his knees.
'Stop!' Her screams were muffled.
The damp smell of long forgotten death found its way into her nostrils through the dirty blanket under her.
'I don't think so, I'm not done yet.' He ripped her skirt along the back seam forcing another scream from her, 'you'd think you would be used to it by now, he's not coming princess, he's dead remember, I killed him.'
Her eyes became wet as endless tears cascaded down her cheeks.
He roughly turned her face so that she could see him as he leaned forward.
'You can do whatever you want, I'll never be yours,' she hissed through clenched teeth only eliciting a hideous laugh from him.
'Maybe not, but this will do, for now,' he pushed her face into the mattress, and ripped the skirt completely revealing the lace panties she loved and reserved for Tony, for the special date nights they planned, her husband, her Tony.
She squeezed her eyes shut as his hands trailed along the lace tracing her curves.
Her breath hitched as terror seized her forcing her throat to constrict and make any attempt of drawing in breaths completely impossible.
She gave up the struggle a long, long time ago; weeks had passed since this animal killed Tony right in front of her.
No demands, no requests, just a bullet to the chest.
A sliver of hope embedded itself into her heart as she watched him bleeding out over the floor, maybe he survived, maybe the bullet missed the main arteries, maybe he didn't bleed to death, maybe…but, if he did survive, why was this happening to her? Why did it keep happening?
She forced herself to stop crying, to show less emotion, if she became cold, she would be safe. After all, it was merely a body, it was her soul that needed to stay safe and stay out of the way.
So there in the broken and shattered shell she pushed herself inside, tucked away neatly for the day when she would be rescued. If that day ever came.
Her mind closed off and simply shut down.
But she could not shut out the heavy breathing and moaning in her ear as he pushed himself inside her.
In and out, harder and faster releasing shallow breaths against her skin.
She opened her eyes and focussed on the dark, boarded up windows, she imagined herself outside, watching the sky in the day and the stars in the night.
In then out, pushing harder clutching her hips digging his nails into her skin.
She imagined the birds singing their happy tune in the trees as leaves fell in the autumn breeze carrying her with it.
His hands pressed down on the small of her back as he plunged himself deeper into her, moaning loader and loader scratching the delicate skin on her back.
The trickle of light which found its way through the window offered her a solace which she knew was unfounded, there was no way out. They kept her drugged and weak from malnourishment. Even if she made it out, she wouldn't even make it a mile from here, wherever here was.
He leaned in and let out a heavy sigh as he emptied himself into her.
Well thank god she always took contraceptive injections.
'We'll continue again tomorrow my dear, sweet dreams,' he whispered into her ear before letting her slouch into the cot, then he whispered the same thing he whispered every night, 'your husband was a lucky man.'
As soon as he was gone and she heard the key turn in the door; she crumpled, she fell, she broke.
Tears flowed freely against her cheeks pouring out as if they would never stop; she gathered whatever was left of her skirt and wrapped it around herself and crawled over to the corner of the room.
Her mind drifted again, to Tony, always to Tony.
She closed her eyes feeling the cold licking her skin and the dark closing in around the edges of her vision.
His eyes always remained though, a constant reminder of how much she had lost and what was going to haunt her forever. Whatever happened to her here and now, was never going to come close to the pain she felt when she lost him.
She watched as the light was extinguished from his eyes as he faded away from her, hands outstretched desperately trying to hold on to her, to save her, to keep her safe.
The blood pooled around him, his blood, crimson rivers darkening his clothes dragging him farther and farther away from her.
She wished she could have kept him safe.
Her eyes never left his and he was now etched into her mind forever.
The cold had found its way into her skin now and she sat motionlessly huddled in the corner of the room waiting for the night to end and the next day to begin only to run through it all, all over again.
She felt herself drifting off to an impossible slumber and she knew that a torturous and violent night of dreams was ahead for her and she braced herself.
He stumbled on his feet, barely able to straighten himself as he went, he grit his teeth and pushed on.
Pepper. That is all that mattered, the end goal, his sole purpose for living and breathing and surviving the hell they dragged him through.
His bones ached, his head felt like it was getting jack hammered into, and since he got here, his chest felt like it was on fire, constantly burning in pain, the infection from the gunshot spread through his body and the onslaught was excruciating.
Fevers and hallucinations associated with it, headaches and nausea, several hours of blackouts due to lack of oxygen to his brain. If he ever got out, he would never be ok again. This would never be ok again.
The pain they had inflicted on his body through physical torture was nothing compared to the agony of watching Pepper getting hurt.
Every night they showed him, every night he begged them to stop, to take him and let her go, he would do anything they asked.
But that was the problem; they never asked anything, not a damn thing.
Finally, he broke and succumbed to their torturous tactics.
He fell into a heap and lay unmoving as they dragged his body back to his cell and dropped him onto the hard mattress.
The door shut with a loud thud adding to the already pounding headache which he could barely contain.
His eyes felt heavy as they closed against his will, 'no, get up,' he muttered to himself, words formed in barely a whisper.
'Get up,' he hissed to himself again, this time he felt as though his body responded.
If he ever got out of here, he prepared himself for the reality that he'd never again walk properly, or dance or run or anything people took for granted.
He would never be able to look into Pepper's eyes while the music carried them in a room full of strangers, women wishing they were her and men wanting to be him.
He would never be able to do the things he loved in his garage or create and test and pioneer the future.
His leg was broken and healed poorly, his fingers snapped and left as they were, his back was in constant agony due to the way they chained him to the floor so his eyes couldn't wander from what they wanted him to see and his heart, well if he survived, he knew his heart wouldn't for much longer. The emotional strain pulled him down harder than the physical.
He shook from the cold, the pain and the fear.
'Get up, Stark.' He hissed again.
This time he got to his knees, next would be one leg and then the other, good, just like that.
He finally found himself standing, finding his feet and rushing as fast as his legs would carry him.
Four steps left, seven right, seventeen feet forward first door on the left, old, antique looking lock, piece of cake.
He dropped to his knees in front of the door and retrieved a small piece of wire he found weeks ago, 'come on, come on, come on,' he urged himself to hurry to be efficient and silent.
The lock gave way and the door slowly creaked open and he let out a relieved sigh, this was it, this was her room.
He got to his feet leaning heavily against the door for support, he spotted her curled up, sleeping form in the farthest corner of the tiny cell.
He gently closed the door as soon as he was safely inside and rushed over to her.
She stirred under his touch as he gently brushed the stray hairs from her cheeks, 'it's ok baby, you're going to be ok.'
Her green eyes cracked open, disbelievingly looking up at the man before her.
He offered her the warmest smile he could muster trying to push back all the hatred and disgust for what these animals did to her.
She looked at him in stunned silence, finally breathing his name.
He gently wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, 'we have to go, can you walk?'
She nodded against his chest pulling back to look at him, the brightness which usually flooded her eyes was gone and the dullness broke his heart. He swore then, whatever it took, she would be happy again. He would make sure of it.
Together, they slowly got to their feet and he led her down the corridors, slowly whispering the directions to himself as they walked, seven feet forward, ten steps left down the dark and narrow one, then eleven steps right, stay to the wall on the north side avoid the cameras, finally stay lower out of sight, seventeen feet forward and another rustic lock to break through, then freedom.
Pepper's ragged breathing alerted Tony to the severity of their situation, 'hang in there for me, please baby, don't give up.'
She nodded as silent tears fell, she squeezed her eyes shut as he led them faster down the path which would set them free, away from here away from the hell they'd endured.
Once they reached the door he gently eased Pepper onto the ground while he picked the lock, he looked back at her ever few seconds trying his hardest to smile, 'nearly there, stay with me.'
The lock released its hold and the door backed away from the hinges, 'let's go, come on Pep, easy, easy, rest your weight on me.'
As they huddled together running as fast as their legs would carry them Tony's own breathing became laboured, oh god, don't give in on me now, not now, hold on at least until she's safe, he chastised himself and his weakening state, just a little longer, he pleaded with himself.
True to his belief in mind over matter, he didn't give in, he didn't fail, he let go of her hand as she ran first to the waiting helicopter. Only then did he finally drop to his knees as he watched the soldiers from Rhodey's division helping her up.
His eyes shut before he could stop them as a reverent sigh escaped his lips.
'Tony!'
He heard it, in the distance through the wind and the roar of the blades cutting through air, he heard it, his name, someone yelling his name and then he was falling into the darkness.
'You're going to be alright, the doctors did all the tests they could, everything's clear.' Rhodey sat beside Pepper and rested his head on clenched fists.
She didn't turn to face him, 'is Tony going to be ok?'
Rhodey swallowed hard, 'the injuries he sustained…'he trailed off, looking down at his own hands, 'he's been through a lot, if he does make it through physically, psychologically, there's no telling.'
Pepper nodded against the pillow, 'after all that he still managed to get me out,' she turned to look at Rhodey, 'and what did I do?' she stifled a sarcastic laugh, 'I cried in a corner waiting for death to find me.'
Rhodey chewed on his bottom lip letting out a sigh, 'you didn't know he was alive, you were scared, there's nothing-'
'Nothing I could have done?' Pepper interjected, she turned her head again this time taking a moment to absorb the fluffy white clouds in the sky and clueless birds which circled above, 'I could have tried, instead I gave up,' rage pulsed through her.
'Don't do this to yourself.' Rhodey said simply.
'What did they do to him?' Pepper retorted.
'Pepper…' Rhodey began.
'What did they do to him?' She repeated with a darker undertone.
Rhodey looked at her intently and noted the darkness behind her eyes, 'they tortured him.'
'How?' Pepper asked firmly.
'Why do you want to know, Pepper, I really don't think-' He shifted uncomfortably as she held her steely gaze.
'Tell me.' She cut him off.
Rhodey sucked in a deep breath and looked at her, 'they broke his fingers, the doctor said a few times because each time the bones began to heal a little differently,' he rubbed his head and sighed looking at Pepper, 'they kept him chained to the floor in a kneeling position, so when they broke his leg it didn't heal straight,' he swallowed the lump in his throat and looked down at his hands, 'the bullet was not removed and the infection from the wound and the led has spread into his blood.'
Pepper nodded and turned away.
'The reactor kept him alive, without it, the led would have spread into his heart.' Rhodey added.
'Maybe dying would have been easier.' Pepper said quietly.
Rhodey stood up this time, 'he would never give up, especially not when it comes to you, he stayed alive to save you.'
Pepper turned around and glared at Rhodey, 'exactly,' she spat, 'he went through this because of me!'
Rhodey backed away, immediately understanding her reasoning. Guilt.
'No, don't do this, Pepper, you know that's not true,' it was, and there was no denying it, but Pepper couldn't feel guilty over something she had no control over, Tony was Tony and he would do anything for her, his life was expendable as he liked to say more often than not.
'You know as well as I do that it is true,' she murmured, 'just go.'
'I'm not leaving.' Rhodey said firmly and took his seat by her bed again.
'Fine, leave, don't leave, I don't care.' She shrugged and turned back to the window.
Rhodey bowed his head in his hands allowing silence to take over.
She looked out at the clouds and the birds again; they sang that happy song she longed to hear, only hearing it now made her heart ache it made her angry and it made her sad. She squeezed her eyes shut as tears flowed freely for the ninetieth time that day. She pressed her hands to her face trying to supress the painful sob which escaped her lips.
Much to her relief Rhodey remained seated, he gave her space and she thanked him for it.
Tony had suffered immensely for the weeks or months however long it had been, and what happened to her? Nothing compared to what happened to him. They didn't beat her, they didn't burn her or drown her, they did nothing to compare to what Tony had lived through.
His injuries were permanent, if he survived them, he would never forget.
Her injuries were physical, sure, but mentally, in time she would accept them and move on, she had no doubt.
This made her feel even worse, if that were even possible.
She sat up and forcibly pulled away the wires which were stuck along her arms and hastily got off the bed, Rhodey got up immediately and rushed over to her trying to stop her.
'Get away from me Rhodes, I mean it, don't touch me.' She hissed with such venom in her voice she was almost afraid of herself.
He backed off as a team of nurses rounded the corner and spilled into her room, 'what's going on here?' One of them spoke in a shrill, high pitched voice making Pepper wince with anger.
Pepper grinned with furious intensity and threw away the last of the wires from her arms, 'I am getting the hell out of here and if anyone tries to stop me I will drop such a huge law suit on you that you'll never work in the medical field again.'
The nurse who spoke looked at her in such contempt that Pepper only grinned even more, she finally turned back to Rhodey, 'get out of my way Rhodes.'
He stood his ground and shook his head, 'did you even think about how Tony would feel about all of this?' He stepped forward closing the gap between them, 'he got you here to keep you safe and now you're throwing it in his face!'
Pepper let out a sarcastic laugh, 'don't you dare-' she began.
This time Rhodey cut in, interrupting her, 'no, don't you dare, he just about gave his life for you and you're playing this game?'
Pepper stepped up to him until they were inches apart, 'you don't know anything about what is going on, get out of my way.' She muttered under her breath, only loud enough for Rhodey to hear.
He conceded and stepped back, 'fine, you got it,' he turned to the nurses, 'discharge Mrs Stark, she's not kidding about the law suit either.'
Once alone she wrapped a bath towel around herself and looked for a phone, she couldn't be here with these strangers around her; she needed to get home, to where she felt safe.
Happy came within the hour with a bag of clothes, much to her relief he didn't question her or bombard her with demands.
'The car is out the back, do you need anything else?' He asked before leading her down the hallway in front of all the staring nurses.
She shook her head, and walked confidently, all the things a woman associated with Tony Stark should be. Only she wasn't. She was a coward and she was terrified and angry and upset all rolled into one.
'It's good to have you back.' Happy said simply as they pulled into the driveway.
She didn't know what to say to that, was it good to be back? Was it good to know what was waiting for her now that she was home? Suffering and recovery and all the things she was too exhausted to do.
Her mind veered off from her frantic thoughts and came to Tony again. She sighed as she got out of the car and made her way up the familiar driveway.
She turned to Happy who stood a few feet away with a concerned expression painted across his features.
'Will you be alright?' He asked, 'should I stay with you, or, if you need time alone, I can go…'he sighed shifting in his spot awkwardly.
'I'll be fine, thank you.' She managed before turning from him and finally entering the house.
Rhodey flipped through several pages of a high gloss magazine before tossing it aside, he rubbed his head in frustration and sank back against the chair.
He looked at the occupant of the bed bandaged almost from head to toe and a surreal feeling washed over him. This couldn't be happening, not to him, not Tony Stark. He had beaten all the odds in the past and came out smiling, he had come back from the literal brink of death, this couldn't be how it ended.
The occupant stirred ever so slightly catching Rhodey's attention.
He leaned forward, 'hey, can you hear me buddy?'
Tony murmured something unintelligible then drifted off again.
Rhodey sunk back into the chair, dropping his gaze to the floor.
Several hours had passed and Rhodey struggled to stay awake, the only things keeping him in the present were the sporadic beeps from the machines Tony was hooked up to and the occasional voices of patients or nurses as they walked past outside.
One voice stopped outside and chatted for a few minutes before tapping on the door and drawing Rhodey's attention.
He craned his neck to see who it was, Happy, a smile crossed his face, at least someone familiar, a friend to keep him company.
'How are you doing?' He asked taking a seat in one of the plastic chairs.
Rhodey shrugged, 'had a fight with Pepper, probably going to lose my best friend, so, not good, you?'
'Horrible, I don't know where to begin.' Happy answered truthfully.
'I don't think he'll pull through, he's been through too much.' Rhodey murmured.
'You can't know that, I mean, he's been through worse.' Happy added.
A mindless nod was all Rhodey could offer, 'yeah, but this is different.'
'Pepper hasn't come to see him?' Happy asked.
'No, she left without saying anything.' Rhodey swallowed the lump in his throat.
'She feels guilty.' Happy offered.
Rhodey nodded, 'she won't see him, I guess in a way she's upset that he put himself through the torture, for her.'
'He needs her, he won't cope if he wakes up and she's not here, you know that right?' Happy sat up with concern written all over his face.
'I know, what am I supposed to do, I can't force her here when she doesn't want to be,' he spoke in a hushed whisper, trying not to raise his voice.
Happy shook his head, 'this will kill him, if all of this doesn't, the fact that Pepper doesn't want to see him, will.'
'I know that, I don't know what I can do.' Rhodey sighed.
'I'll give her some space and then I'll go and see her,' Happy said quietly standing up to look at Tony, he gently squeezed the uncovered part of his arm and looked to Rhodey, 'find the assholes that did this.'
Rhodey nodded, 'don't worry about that, I'm on it.'
Happy left with a final nod to Rhodey, closing the door with a gentle thud.
Rhodey looked back to the occupant of the bed and shook his head, 'you have to pull through this man, we have to get these assholes together, I can't do it alone.'
Not surprisingly, Tony didn't move, or stir or make any sign of hearing him; Rhodey slumped his shoulders in defeat, he had hoped for some kind of cliché miracle where he'd get up and immediately feel better and begin a crusade to vanquish the bad guys, but no, this was real life.
He remained still and silent and eerily pale, there was no miracle here and he felt his heart fall through the floor.
Pepper sat on the floor in their oversized shower curled up against the cold tiles, watching as the water ran from red to pink to clear; finally feeling like whatever was suffocating her was gone. She knew it was in her head, there was no blood to wash off or watch as it disappeared, the nurses already did all that, but the fact remained that she felt there was much to wash of, metaphorically speaking.
Guilt had riddled her since she learned that Tony was alive and then again tenfold when she ran away from the hospital like a scared little girl.
The water ran over her like a warm wave of relief drowning out the insistent ringing of her blackberry. She rolled her eyes, as soon as one call ended another came through, over and over, for the hour she spent under the water she must have missed at least fifty phone calls. This was nothing out of the ordinary considering she was the PA and CEO for one of the most powerful corporations in the world and wife to one of the most powerful men in the world, and now she was back from a two month captivity.
She tried to shrug off the concern but the lump in her throat seemed to triple in size.
Deciding that the non-stop calls must have been important she quickly got out of the shower and dried herself off before picking up her phone.
Her stomach dropped when she saw the dozens of missed calls from Happy, Rhodey and the hospital.
As she was holding the phone Happy's face showed up again showing another call coming through, tears stung her eyes before she even answered.
She whispered his name and then her world came crashing down around her, she threw her hand out in front of her grabbing on to anything to stop herself from falling.
She fell to her knees in a heap, Happy spoke and spoke explaining everything to her, and she only shook her head, no, no this couldn't be happening.
The drive to the hospital was a daze, colors and words and sounds collided in a sickening swirl around her.
He said the infection had spread to his lungs and finally his heart, his body had fought it as long as it could, he said that sheer will kept him alive for as long as it did, nothing short of a miracle. He said that the injuries were excruciating and that life dealing with them would have been intolerable. He said maybe it was for the best.
Pepper walked through the flashing bulbs and screaming reporters not really seeing anything beyond the grief which flashed across her vision.
She made it inside and pushed past Rhodey who's blood shot eyes spoke volumes without the need for words, Happy stood to the side not looking up to meet her gaze or saying a word as she pushed the door open to Tony's private room.
A breathless sob escaped her lips as she saw him for the first time, his still form lay in deathly pale silence, never to smile or laugh again. She dropped into the chair beside him and reached out to gently touch his arm.
His icy cold skin sent shivers through her body as she clutched her chest for fear she would stop breathing.
'I'm so sorry.' She breathed into the room, her tears fell silently onto the sheets below.
She took hold of his bandaged hand and rubbed circles into his skin, 'I'm so, so sorry Tony, please forgive me.'
He wouldn't reply, he never would again.
'Oh god, Tony, this can't be happening, this isn't how it was meant to be,' she dropped her head into her hand still clutching Tony's with the other.
The bruises and cuts and healing scars which made up the majority of Tony's body was testament to what he went through and what she condemned him to. This is exactly what they wanted and they won.
Rhodey came in and silently placed a hand on her shoulder.
'This isn't how it was meant to be,' she sobbed into her hand.
Rhodey knelt down beside her, 'I'm sorry,' he whispered pulling her closer.
She leaned her head against his shoulder, 'when did it happen?'
'About an hour ago, he went into shock and they couldn't revive him,' he spoke softly, 'they said his organs started shutting down one after the other, there was nothing they could do.'
'I wasn't here, he died alone.'
'He wasn't alone,' Rhodey said quietly rubbing his face, 'I was here the whole time.'
'I should have been here.'
Rhodey didn't answer. She knew he agreed, but courteously didn't say anything.
'I, I'm so selfish, I ran away, I was so angry for what he did for me, why did he think my life was worth more than his?'
Rhodey cleared his throat, 'you know why, it's been the same reason all along for him, since the day he met you,' he looked at Pepper, smiling weakly he looked back at Tony, 'he was always protecting you, against the media, or other staff, whoever said anything about you was either fired and given a warning, he always looked after you and I guess when Iron Man came along he took it up a notch, because he loved you.'
She shook her head, 'I should have been here…'
'He never woke up, he didn't know, all he knew was that you were safe and that's all he wanted,' Rhodey said finally.
She finally stood up and brushed away a strand of hair from Tony's face before leaning in and planting a kiss on his forehead and one kiss on each cheek before taking his left hand into hers, their matching wedding bands glistened together in the light, eternal proof that Tony Stark has a heart…
So this is it, if anyone want it, I may write a little 'after thought' chapter, but we shall see how this goes first.
Thank you for reading!
Excelsior!
*SV*