He smiled.
His smile, the one he used to do at her. But it was a trap, to not worry her. A diversion to not show her his fears, his regrets.
Kate plonged her gaze un his. Eyes never lied. She guessed, she guessed what he was about to do. He was about to jump out the helicopter, to save them….
So did it end now ? She wanted to grab his hand and never let it go, preventing him to do the worse.
The worse ? What was it ? Dying together in the helicopter's crash ? or him, jumping out and maybe survive ?
No the worse was him, going back to the Island.
A last look at him and he vanished of her sight. She realized that he did it when she heard Hurley, Sayid and Jack screamed his name. Kate moved forward and saw the silhouette falling down, becoming more and more little by seconds. Then he disappeared into the blue water.
Kate sat up, leaning back against the cold iron wall of the helicopter.
Her lips were still burning of his last sweet kiss. She had a salty taste in her throat, and tears were growing up in her eyes.
Just next to her, she felt an horrible, even unbearable space, his presence missing.
The scene repeated itself in her mind, again and again. Him turning to her, leaning forward, whispering words in her ear, his hot breath running over her neck skin, his sweet and passionate kiss making her heart race and then his smile. She closed her eyes, praying for this to be a nightmare.
A thunder, a flash of lightining, rain was pouring all of a sudden. Kate opened her eyes. Everything had changed. She wasn't in the helicopter anymore. She was back to the jungle, she was wet, her clothes stinking againt her skin. The desier of looking for Sawyer invided her. She ran as quick as possible. Her heart racing in her chest. God had given her the chance to go back to him, she didn't want to lose it. She ran, ran and ran again, jumping above the laid trees, avoiding the branches, the holes on the soaking ground. Suddenly she stopped, recognizing the place. She was near the beach. She saw a silhouette. It was him. She was sure. She would have recognized him anywhere.
« Sawyer ! » He didn't move, turning his back to her.
Maybe she was too far, and with the storm he couldn't hear her. She tried to move but she couldn't her ankles were tied up by lianas.
« Sawyer. » She screamed with all her strenght. She guessed a reaction as he turned a little.
« Sawyer ! I'm right here !! » Her sight was blured by the rain but she couldn't still guess he was moving… moving away.
« No ! Sawyer ! Stay with me ! Don't do this ! Sawyer !! »
Too late. He was gone.
Her heart broke into pièces, she fell on her knees, exhausted, broken. She broke down screaming a last time his name. His real name.
.
.
.
« James ! »
Kate sat up out of breath. Drops of sweat were running down along her face, mixing with her tears. She was hot. She Drew away the sheet trying to catch her breath.
« Kate ? » She turned and found out Jake barechest by her side. « Are you okay ? »
She shook her head remembering the events by order… remembering the previous night when she kissed Jack…
She sighed. For the first time in her life, she knew exactly what she wanted.