Kota wasn't sure what he was doing in such a place. He'd gotten turned around on the way to another club, and curiosity had gotten the best of him when he'd seen how much this one seemed to be trying to avoid being found. He paid the 2000 yen at the door without really noting it, but once he was inside, he wasn't sure what to do even though he knew what kind of club it must be. It looked like it encompassed two or three sections of the building, with a dozen doors leading out of the bar area. He decided to start with what he recognized beyond doubt and got a drink.

"You are having trouble finding what you want? It can be a confusion of possibilities."

"I do not know what I want. I came here not knowing where I was."

The bartender nodded. "Do you wish contact?"

"No."

"To watch sex?"

He shook his head.

The bartender looked at him for a few moments, then at his watch. "Something you have maybe not ever seen before? Even if there is no sex? It began only two minutes ago. It is also inexpensive. For a very specialized taste, you see?"

The possibility of that was much more interesting than masturbating in a booth to sex behind glass. What he could have never seen before that was also clothed in such a place, he couldn't guess. He nodded.

"3000 yen."

He handed over the money, surprised at how small the amount was.

"Through the third door, booth four. You will see and hear everything. The performers cannot see or hear you; it is one-way glass. So if you find it inspiring, you have privacy."

There appeared to be six other booths besides the one he'd been assigned. He couldn't tell which were or were not occupied. As soon as he was inside, he knew what he was seeing. He had heard of it, but the bartender was right; he'd never actually seen it done. As he understood it, kinbaku could be many things - kink, art, spiritual discipline, sexual practice - and more than one at once. It was hard to say what the mix might be here, but as he took his jacket off, put it on the chair, and sat down, he noticed that the woman was a gaijin. It was unexpected, but she was very pretty, as well. She was fully dressed, the clothing close-fitting, but obviously not meant solely to be titillating.

The man, who was Japanese and normally clothed, had obviously just finished checking his array of ropes. He chose the first and ordered the woman to her knees. He spoke quietly, and she obeyed in silence. The first few minutes of tying her was devoted to immobilizing her. The man spoke only tell her to change the position of a limb when he needed her to. She said nothing at all; the only sounds of any kind she made were a few soft gasps and one low moan as the ropes began seriously restricting her movement and straining her muscles.

When she clearly couldn't move at all, the man pushed her over so she was face-down on the floor as if prostrating herself at his feet. He began tying a heavy ring and hook into the ropes across the woman's back. Kota glanced up and saw a second hook attached to a rope on the floor nearby. She would be suspended, then. He was fully hard now. Whether this went where he assumed it would or not, he was going to have to relieve the tension soon.

The woman's moans were becoming louder as the man attached the hook on the floor to the ring bound into the ropes on the woman. He threw the end of the rope over the pulley and yanked on it hard enough to pull up sharply on the rigging, but not to actually raise the woman. She cried out sharply, the first sign that she was in real pain, but she didn't struggle at all. Kota wasn't sure she could even if she wanted to.

The man raised her to a height that exposed her to his any any other view through the windows, and secured the line. Her struggle was carried on nearly motionlessly - about that, she had no choice - and nearly in silence, as well. After ten minutes of it, Kota gave in to his body's insistence on being tended to. It didn't take long, and he never took his eyes from her. He wasn't even sure what about this excited him so much. The deeply mixed signals, maybe. The man issued orders, bound her into a state of helplessness, raised her; her life was quite literally in his hands. And yet, what was on display was her strength and courage, her ability to withstand the ordeal. It made him want her so much that it was like pain.

Kota watched every moment of it. She seemed to reach a place of meditation, maybe even of trance. Her breathing evened out, the tension left her muscles, and she seemed somehow to merge with the pain rather than trying to overcome it.

She stayed suspended for over an hour. When she finally opened her eyes and spoke a single word in English to the man, her expression was ecstatic, otherworldly. He didn't want to watch her being taken down; he didn't want to watch someone else touching her now.

He went back to the bar; he wasn't quite ready to rejoin the crush on the streets just yet.

"You liked it."

It wasn't really a question, but Kota answered it anyway. "I did. It was an excellent recommendation. I thank you."

Another drink appeared in front of him; the bartender waved him off when he reached for his wallet. He drank and thought about what he'd just seen. "Why does she do this thing?"

The bartender looked surprised. "For people like you, of course."

Kota shook his head. "Not for men who wish to...ah. She never even looked toward the windows."

"Not for them. For you. They have all left. You stayed. It was for something more than the usual stimulation, yes?"

He nodded. "I would very much like to speak to her."

The bartender shook his head. "She does not interact with the customers."

"Not even to sit here under your supervision and have a drink with me?"

"Not even that. Just as you are not here for what most of them come seeking, she is not here for what the other women who work here are." He smiled, sympathetically Kota thought. "She performs every other night at the same time."

He left with his mind for the first time in months not full of Kenny, of being left behind in favor of ambition yet again, of feeling lonely and betrayed. For the first time, there was something else to occupy that space.