New story! This is for Annajadekin, who sent me a prompt asking for Spencer to have a past with another agency before joining the BAU. She also wants him to the complete opposite of his fact sprouting tech-phobic nerdy persona. I hope this lives up to her expectations and everyone else's as well. Another note this is unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes are mine. Translations are the end of the chapter.

**Update 8/16/2015** This chapter has been proofed and edited. Sorry to all the readers who has already read it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds or their characters. I do own the OCs.

Happy reading and enjoy!

He was staring wide-eyed at the gun. The bright sun was casting a glare off the shining silver barrel. He wanted to squint, but he knew one small movement would get him killed. There was nothing he could do, no way to fight back and no one to help him.

"I told you, you would see me again, aingeal álainn."

It took everything he had not to flinch at the endearment. That endearment meant many things. Things he wanted to forget; no matter how hard he tried it still affected him.

"What do you want?"

The low deep chuckle made his stomach flutter in fear and arousal. Damn, he thought. That's the last thing he needs right now.

"I want many things. Right now I want my revenge for your betrayal. You betrayed me more than once."

"You were just a job."

His captor's face contorted in anger. The tall man rushed forward and pressed him against the wall with a hand wrapped around his throat. The fear heightened and the arousal stayed.

"So sleeping in my bed was your job. Moaning and writhing under me was your job. I know the person I met and fell for wasn't real, but don't you dare tell me your passion was fake. Every kiss, every soft touch, every whispered word was not fake." The words came out harshly as his captor fought to control his anger. The hand was just one more squeeze away from cutting off his airway.

Tear glazed hazel eyes met with anger fueled bright green. He gathered what little courage he had left to say the one sentence that would end everything. He really didn't want to, but there was no other choice.

"Then kill me."

"Not yet just, aingeal. First you are going to make a confession. I want the truth before I kill you. Confess and it all ends."

"Tá ceart agat. Rinne mé grá agat." He whispered the words as the tears escaped his eyes.

The other man smiled before leaning forward. The arousal was starting to overpower his fear as those once familiar firm lips pressed against his. His captor kissed him harshly. Teeth pulling his bottom lip to open his mouth. He suppressed the moan as the thick wet tongue invaded. The hand around his throat prevented him from turning away.

He didn't want this. No matter how much his body still craved the other man. Before he could start fighting, the other man released him and stepped back. Like a flour sack, he dropped to the floor.

When he looked up the gun barrel was once again aimed at his head. He closed his eyes and waited. He always feared that this day would come.

"It's going to hurt me more than you, aingeal álainn."

He heard the hammer click into place. The last tear slipped through his closed eyes as the gun went off.

Spencer Reid jackknifed straight up in bed. As always he found himself covered in sweat. The nightmare that will never go away.

"At least it was just a kiss this time." He told himself. Sometimes he would dream of getting killed naked. Those were the ones he hated the most.

Spencer harshly rubbed his sweat covered face before looking at the bedside clock. It was late, three-thirty in the morning late. With a groan he got out of bed and changed into track pants and a t-shirt. Running always drove away the last linger of the nightmare and cleared his mind.

Instead of his usual five miles, he ran ten. By the time he got back inside his apartment he had enough energy to shut the door and walk to the couch. The overstuffed furniture cushioned his sore body. Completely worn out he quickly slipped into a dreamless sleep.

The sound of his phone woke him. He tried to find it blindly but when his hand touch carpet he opened his eyes. The memory of the nightmare came back as he looked around his living room. Spencer pulled his phone out of his pocket and answered it.

"Reid."

"We have a case. You have forty-five minutes." The words were stern. His boss, Aaron Hotchner, always had a way to silently add the 'or else' at the end of every order.

It was something Spencer always appreciated, but will never admit. The rest of his team wouldn't like him anymore if he did. It was one of the many secrets he kept to himself.

The lithe man hefted himself off the couch and walked to bathroom. His shower took a little longer than usual. He looked at his clock after getting dressed. The whole routine took him his allotted forty-five. Spencer grabbed his bag and rushed out of the apartment, stopping long enough to lock the door.

Right now he was grateful that his apartment was only half a mile from the FBI building. He rushed into the conference room fifteen minutes late. Hotch's face was stoic but his eyes showed his displeasure. He caught Morgan handing money over to Garcia, who was smiling widely. Rossi and Emily were trying to hide their amusement. JJ just shook her head.

He kissed JJ's cheek before taking his seat between Morgan and Rossi. Hotch stared pointedly at Garcia as the silence continue. The brightly dressed woman giggled and got back to the case. It was another kidnapping case. This one was the third case in just one week. In his opinion, if this continued the murder rate would down.

Garcia finished their sit-rep and the team was now leaving for Texas. Wanting to get the lecture and the consequence over with quickly, he sat across from Hotch. He didn't missed the disappointed look in JJ's eyes.

I'll fix that later. He thought before returning his focus back to Hotch.

"Alright, Hotch, let's get this over with. I do not wish to have this between us while we are working a case."

"Very well. Reid, you are a valued agent like the rest of your team mates. Yet you seem to have no desire to follow the simplest of orders. This is the fourth time this month that you showed up late. I let the first two go because of the cases. The third one came with no explanation and neither did this one. So either you give me a good reason or you will be facing suspension when we get back home."

Reid knew he was toeing the line, but after four year of working with the BAU he still found it hard. Working with the same team everyday had it's cost. In his mind he was trying to separate himself from them. That was not an easy thing to do.

They all, like Hotch said, had their value. Each one kept pulling him in every time he started to pull away. There was Morgan with his playful nature, fierce loyalty and easy friendship. Garcia also had a playful nature, but she also in her own way could brighten even the worst day. Spencer was sometimes grateful to know the colorful woman.

Then there was Emily. Fiercely loyal as well. She was also the type of person who you call first for help. She'll wait until everything is over before asking questions. Next came Rossi, the older man was like the father Spencer never really had. The two of them could spend hours debating the different behaviors of their UnSubs. The other thing that drew him closer to Emily and Rossi was their love for sugar. The three of them often fought over the last of Garcia's cupcakes. In the end Spencer would split it in half and give one to each of them.

Finally, Hotch. Spencer respected the man more than anyone he had ever met. He and Hotch had a lot in common. They were both intelligent and had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. Spencer loved the flights home, he and Hotch would sit together and lose themselves into a chess game.

And lastly, JJ. She was the sweetest person he's ever met. Spencer loved her in his own way. They've been together since the day he took her to the football game. There was no amount of thanks he could give Gideon for that gift. Their relationship was easy, but deep down Spencer knew something was missing. He also knew that the problem was with him. He just didn't want to hurt her.

Reid shook his thoughts away and looked at Hotch's annoyed face. "I'm sorry I don't have a good excuse. I'll take the write up and the suspension. Also I can't say that it won't happen again but I'll try to be on time more often."

Hotch sighed. "Spencer, you need to talk to someone about this. If you don't want to talk to us then set up an appointment with the Bureau's psychiatrist."

"I don't need to talk to anyone, Hotch. This is something I need to handle on my own. I'll use my suspension to get my priorities straighten out."

"See that you do. I don't want to lose you because you can't follow orders or show up on time."

Spencer smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, Aaron."

Aaron gave the younger man a surprised look. This conversation was the first time either of them called each other by their first names. He knew both of them was walking on a very thin line with this unspoken game between them. Neither of them wanted to admit anything for their own personal reasons. This was something that will continue until one of them gives in or they both acknowledge it and call it quits. The latter was something he would never do and the former—well he's waiting for Spencer to give in first.

Spencer silently hoped that Aaron wouldn't ask for his promise. He knows he can't give one. Promises, something he realized long ago, were things he has never been able to keep. He found that living one day at a time was easier for his mind and sanity.

Working for the BAU also helped. Focusing on what made UnSubs tick kept his genius brain from analyzing his own problems. Problems, Spencer just didn't want to bring out in the open.

When they walked into the El Paso station, Spencer went into a complete stop causing Morgan to collide into his back. He felt Morgan hands on him to prevent him from falling down. His attention was on the detective talking to an officer by a row of filing cabinets. The familiar face made him remember something from his past.

*Flashback*

"Reid, you don't have anything to prove. Don't do this."

"I have to. It the only way the other agents will see me as an equal and not some kid with a 187 I.Q."

"For god's sake, Reid, this is a suicide case. Not even the senior agents want this."

"That's my point." He snapped. "If I do this I can show them the 'kid' has more balls than they do."

"I'm begging you, Reid. Please don't do this."

"I'm sorry, Brad. I already put in my request. The Assistant Director is going to talk to the Deputy tomorrow and get his approval."

"Just don't get yourself killed or I'll find a way to bring you back to life and kill you myself."

Spencer laughed. "Don't worry, Brad. I'll have the guy arrested before he can even think about killing me."

"I want your promise that you'll only stay on for two months. I don't want you getting anymore deeper than that."

"Brad..."

"No, Spencer. Two months or I'll go to the A.D and tell him to use me instead."

Spencer kept a tight control on his anger. He knew Brad was just looking out for him, but sometimes his friend treated him like a kid. The one thing he hated the most.

"Fine. I promise to stay on for two months, if I'm a day late you can bust in and drag me out."

Brad let out a full 'belly shaking' laugh. "I'm going to do just that. Please be careful."

"I promise."

*Flashback Ends*

"Pretty boy, where is your head?" Derek asked for the tenth time. He has been trying to get the young genius' attention since he collided into him. The younger man was lost into his own world.

Spencer blinked and looked at his friend. The other man had a worried look on his face. Spencer looked at the others and they too looked worried.

"Sorry, I got lost inside my head. Thought I saw a familiar face. Didn't mean to worry everyone."

Hotch let out an undignified snort. "Don't let it happen again. We need your brain for the case."

Reid smiled at his boss. "My brain is your's to use until we get back on the jet."

"Good. Now let's get to work."

Spencer spent the day going over the maps and files. The rest of the team was out interviewing families and witnesses. Never once during that time did he see the familiar face of his past. Though he almost wish that what he had seen was real, and not a figment of his imagination courtesy of his nightmare.

When the hour got too late and the station's coffee became stale, Hotch order the team to get some sleep. They left the station and went to the hotel. After checking in and dropping his bag off in the room he share with Morgan, Spencer went down the hall to Emily and JJ's room.

He knocked and waited. Emily opened the door. Her face lacked surprise but was full of disappointment.

"Spencer."

"Emily. Is JJ still here?"

"Yeah, hold on." She left the doorway. He heard her knock on the bathroom door. There was whispering but he couldn't make out a word. Minutes later JJ appeared.

"Spencer, its late. Can this wait until tomorrow?"

"No. I need to say this now."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry about this morning. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. I'm also sorry for ignoring you on the jet."

"Spence..."

"No, just listen. I screwed up today and no amount of apologizing is going to fix that. But I'll try. I'll do anything. Just name it, Jen."

JJ looked at Spencer. Her boyfriend's face showed that he was truly sorry, and he willing to do anything to show her that. His sweet face and hazel eyes softened her heart. She could almost never tell him no.

"Alright. Dinner, just the two of us. No talks about work or academics or any of our team mates. I'll decide what else if dinner goes the way I want it to."

Spencer gave her grin. "Dinner. Leave everything to me and I'll pick you two hours after we get home."

"Promise?"

It took everything he had not to flinch at that word. He couldn't talk his way out of this one. Not to JJ, he had hurt her enough.

"Two hours, if I'm late you have permission to call and have me arrested."

"That's not going to work this time Spence. I want your promise."

He let out a resigned sigh. "I promise to be on time and to give you the dinner you want."

She smiled at him before leaning forward to give him a soft kiss on the cheek. "There was that so hard." She whispered in his ear. There was no mistaking the humor in her voice.

"Yes it was. Good night Jen."

"Good night Spence." He waited until the door closed before heading back to his room.

A tall familiar figure stepped out of the shadows and in his way. Spencer didn't back up or make any other movement.

"She's different from the others. Since when do you go for blondes?"

"Things are different, Brad. I'm different. Why are you here?"

"Let's go for a ride."

Spencer let out a short laugh. "Is that still the code for 'let's lock you in a room for hours and interrogate'?"

"No. That is now 'let's go get a drink'. A ride is now 'there are people who want to see you'."

"What if I don't want to see them? Look, Brad, I'm working a case right now. I can't and won't abandon my team. The life of a twelve year old girl is at stake."

"I'm sorry, Spence. I have my orders."

Spencer was about to tell his old friend where to stick those order, but before he could he felt a sharp prick in his neck. The sharp features of Brad's face began to blur and within seconds everything went dark.

Translations:
aingeal álainn = beautiful angel
Tá ceart agat. Rinne mé grá agat = You're right. I did love you.

The language is Irish. The translation is courtesy of Google.