Blonds, Wind and Politics

by Draton

Naruto found out about his parents the night of Gennin exam, and my has he grown up different... Though his life truly starts to get interesting after his performance at the Chunnin exams... Sarcastic!Bitter!Apathetic!Fairly Strong!Naruto/Political marria

1. Chapter 1

A/N: I r shamed... I'm starting a new story... But the idea fr this one has been bitching to be let out for months ever since I saw fan art of Naruto in Temari's shippuden outfit. It spiraled vastly out of control from there. This also marks my first Naruto story where he actually grows up in Konoha, in fact it's all Canon right up until the gennin exam, which I'll cover in flashbacks. I suppose it'll seem a little, thrown in because of where I start it but eh, deal. Or bitch, I like reviews and I haven't gotten much in the way of criticisms, which is odd... I think... but if yew want the quick and dirty rundown of what this story is... Sarcastic!Bitter!Apathetic!Fairly Strong!Naruto/Political marriage – Temari, because frankly there aren't enough of those. Seriously, I've read like 2 that are good, another 2 that ain't bad, and anything else makes me wish i were dead after reading the first page. My ego wants this to be in the good category... But it lies to me often so I'll just do my best and see what happens. And now that this retardedly long (for me) A/N is over, I give you chapter 1 of Blonds, Wind and Politics.

KEY:

"Normal Speech"

'Thinking'

'Demon Thinking'

"Demon Speech"

Jutsu

Chapter 1

"No."

"What? Why not?"

"While I have every desire to leave this god forsaken speck of land, I have no desire to trapeze my way through the country side self training myself as Kami knows you'll be out perving for those stupid books."

"But, I'll teach you some of my techniques, some of the Fourths... Maybe let you sign the Toad contract finally?"

"No, No and No."

"Why not?!?"

It was at this the blond figure narrowed his eyes and smoothed out his black kimono, restraining from grabbing the large fan on his back and bludgeoning the older man to death with its iron frame. He settled for a half sneer and glare. "If you wanted to train me, or spend time with me, maybe you should have I dunno, done your Godfatherly duties and taken me from this hellhole years ago. As for why I do not wish to learn your techniques or my Fathers... I strive to make my own mark, to be different from everyone else. That way when people finally get on their hands and knees worshiping the ground I walk on in thanks of the fact I use my abilities to save their worthless asses it'll be on my own merit and not something someone else thought up. Satisfied?"

Jiraiya winced at the blond's harsh words. OK, so maybe he wasn't the best of godfathers, but he was a Sannin! He had responsibilities... Right? Besides, he had been told the vertically challenged blond would jump at the chance of learning new jutsus... Apparently someone lied to him. "Look, I know your a little upset at not making Chunnin..."

Naruto's eye started to inexplicably (as if) twitch. "A little upset? Why would I be! After all I only beat last years rookie of the year, who was generally accepted as the strongest leaf gennin for Kami knows what reason. Then thoroughly trounced a psychotic sand wielding jinchuuriki, and proceeded to make friends with him. But wait!" He dramatically threw his hands into the air, "I then finished the Exams by beating a more experienced wind user, using the same weapon and element as her! Oh and when Oto went all psycho on us for crippling Orochimaru, which I also had a hand in, I helped kill a 2 headed snake summon. By myself. Oh and let's not forget that because I kicked Gaara's sandy ass Suna thought twice about helping in the invasion, thus preventing more casualties. Let's not forget the guy who forfeited in the first round got got promoted, along with the Uchiha who lost beautifully to Gaara." At this point the blond stopped his rant taking in several deep breaths. "The only way I will ever make Chunnin, is if I'm out of Konoha. If I go running around with you I'll not only still be a gennin, after everyone else no doubt gets promoted, but the exams will once again be here, once again fucking over any chance I have. Or I go through with my plan, and take the exams next chance I get, out of Konoha where I'll stand a damn decent chance at getting promoted."

Yeah, he was still a little upset. "Look... Akatsuki is on the move and-"

"Fuck 'em. If I'm out on the move I'll be that easier to track down so they can rip Kyuubi from me in what is sure to be a long and arduous process. I'll be far better protected staying in Konoha and if they come to get me and a few people die? So be it. The psychos are out to rule the world any or some shit like that and I like the idea of others risking their lives for me for a change."

Jiraiya groaned, he should have listened to Sarutobi-sensei when he said Naruto was angry at being left behind as a child. He still hadn't forgiven the Sandaime for with holding the knowledge of who his parents were. "Look, Naruto... I know I haven't been the best Godfather," A cough and glare at that, "Fine, Godfather period... But I'm trying to make it up a bit. Why have you forgiven Tsunade s easily anyways?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow as he reached up and untied his samurai-esque ponytail. "Because she didn't know. She was dealing with a painful loss of her own at the time, though I think she still bitched and moaned about that for to long, and because of that she wasn't told Mom was pregnant with me. All she knew was that a blond kid was the Kyuubi container. But you... You knew... Both you and Jiji. Do you know what it's like to grow up alone, wondering where your parents are while everyone around you is telling you the worst things about them. Some said my parents abandoned me because I was demon scum, others said they were traitors or that my mother was a slut whore who got fucked by a demon. The thing an orphan wants most is parental knowledge, me more then most, and I find out the man I looked up to the most had lied to my face for 14 years? It's not like he had to announce to the village who my family was like he decided to do with Kyuubi. No, he could've just taken me aside when I was young and told me. But no, all I got was a 'Sorry but I just don't know.' from him." Naruto stopped, having to resume his deep breathing again.

Jiraiya just looked down, the blond made nothing but good points and he didn't really have any sort of argument to refute him. "Look... I'm trying to get you out of the village for another reason to."

"Outside your own guilt?"

Jiraiya sighed, the blond wasn't making this easy. "Yes, outside my own guilt. Look, with the near betrayal of Suna, and their realization that we aren't worth betraying, they have offered up a new peace treaty trying to gain back our trust."

Naruto, having calmed down a bit now raised an eyebrow, "Understandable. But I'm failing to see where I come in."

The Toad Sannin closed his eyes trying to predict how the blond would react to this. "Well, they are arranging a political marriage. We don't know who on their end yet, but we do know who they want."

A slow look of understanding crossed on Naruto's face. "They want me don't they?"

A nod, "Your one of the best choices. Your not attached to any clan, they have received multiple reports of your strength and apparently Gaara speaks well of you. Look, I was trying to get you out of the fate of a political pawn..."

Naruto raised a finger silencing him, mulling over this new information in his head. "Hmm, I have no overt political ties, outside of favor with the current Hokage. I have a bloodline that makes for the best infiltrators, so I would make for good breeding. And if I'm expendable, so for both sides I am the near perfect choice aren't I?" He received a confirming nod from the white haired man in front of him. "Could be interesting... Might actually have a chance at a family..."

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow at that. He certainly hadn't expected the young jinchuuriki to be... Accepting of this, a duty most ninja's would rather die then be put through. "I guess you could look at it like that..."

"Well, I am definitely staying here then. Sorry Ero-Sannin, but let's face it. I have a slim to zero chance of any Konoha girl accepting me. Besides, playing the political game could be fun." He gave a lopsided grin at that. Jiraiya sighed again hanging his head in defeat. He turned to leave when Naruto stopped him. "Look... I'm still a little bitter, but I am slowly getting over it. You had an excuse at least... And if your willing to try and make up for it... I do need some help with more advanced sealing techniques. So maybe you could stick around for a while and help me out with them?"

The Sage paused and allowed a slight smile come to his face. "Sure, I'll come by your place later... I have a suspicion I know what you need the help for." And with that he used a shunshin off to the Hokage's office giving a report on Naruto's decision.

The blond clasped his hands together behind his head. He looked towards the Hokage Monument and grinned. You could still see the slight outline of where he had made a stone Kyuubi poised over the Yondaime's head, one of his better pranks. The young shape shifter sighed, he had a lot to sort out now in his life. So it was time to do what he always did in these situations. Go find his best friend and have a nice good bitch about life while attempting to beat the living crap out of each other. He tapped his chin with his index finger. "I should probably change into something more durable then before I find Lee..." He grinned before disappearing to his apartment in a surge of wind.

...

A burst of wind scattered all the loose papers in Naruto's apartment as he arrived. He sighed as he watched some of his design notes scatter around the studio apartment. He glanced around his home and smiled inwardly. Shape shifting abilities really did have their advantages, he never would have been allowed to buy the penthouse suite had he looked like the 'Demon Scourge' of Konoha. Stretching for the inevitable beat down he walked over to his dresser switching out of his usual gear. Some balked at the kimono, but he liked it well enough. It was loose enough to allow good freedom of movement, great for a quick shape shift infiltration mission. He stopped and shuddered at a particular memory that brought up. The first time he had had shifted into a girl and seduced someone, an act that led to the losing of his female virginity to a fat swine named Gato. He mentally reminded himself if he hadn't gone as far as he did he never would have gotten the codes for the little cunt's safe and numerous bank accounts. Who knew sneaking into advanced Chunnin Kunoichi lessons would be so profitable? They taught the best manipulation techniques there. Besides it was the money from that mission that allowed him to buy his current residence.

Having selected what he would wear, black karate pants with a gold dragon going up the side with a black muscle shirt, he looked at the note pinned above his dresser and smiled again. He had seriously lucked out when he stole the forbidden scroll, after all who was to know his Father had sealed his inheritance scrolls in there for him? That night had changed everything... He found out his parent's identities and that they loved him. His mother had died in childbirth, and father died sealing Kyuubi. Naruto smiled a bit, if he ever got the chance in the afterlife he was gonna give his father a swift kick to the balls, and then a hug. After all, knowing you had to die and leave your son alone in the world, what greater protection then the mightiest demon lord? He looked at his favorite page of the multi-page letter from his father and grinned.

OK shit for something so big it moves fast... Anyways where was I? Oh yes, if you grow up to be anything like me or your mother, your going to want to be a kick ass ninja. So I leave to you my scrolls on the development process of Hiraishin and Rasengan. Though Hiraishin will only work if your a lightning element. But hey maybe you can come up with something new? Hmm... Oh! I leave to you also... the guide....

Minato Namikaze's Top Ten Rules To Become A Bad Ass Ninja

Have a unique and distinctive look that sets you apart from the crowd, but not in a hear I am kill me now kinda way.

Don't overly specialize in anything. Try to be at least competent in most weapon types for instance, and don't focus on only 1 branch of ninja arts.

Master at least two kick ass weapon types. EG I was a god with a kunai, and though not many know it, double bladed sword. Try to make these weapons as unique as you can.

Don't be an asshole. This is big... To much emphasis is put on so called geniuses, remember hard work never fails you.

You don't need to know every jutsu out there. Someone who has mastered 20, will trounce someone who merely knows 1000. Master what you know.

Don't let others dictate how you act. Ever, then your something your not and that ain't bad ass is it?

Nobody Likes a whiny bitch, aka the Hyuuga/Uchiha syndrome. Avoid emo-ness like the horrible plague it is.

Find a good partner or team to compliment your style. I had your Mother for this.

Hand in hand with number 8, be loyal to your friends and family, and stay true to your convictions.

Last but not least Son, do NOT be ashamed at being the holder of Kyuubi. You alone hold back the strongest demon lord of our time! Use it, flaunt it, but do not deny it. This doesn't mean I'm saying rely on it though... Just don't be afraid to take names and kick ass with it either.

Naruto sighed as he re-read the list. He had poured his heart and soul into training after he had first read that. It had been a week after he had discovered the benefits of Kage Bunshin and his training had taken a drastic leap up. He almost always had a couple hundred working on chakra and wind manipulation. He took the time to physically train his body to it's peak condition. He silently mused that it sucked he couldn't merely shape shift into a stronger body. Apparently his kitsune gifted bloodline kept a 'record' of sorts of all the different bodies he had shifted into. He had to individually train each one, physically anyways. He had one 'default' female body that looked a lot like a younger version of his mother, only with blue eyes as opposed to her emerald ones. He had changed his 'default' male body so to speak. He was a bit taller, his eyes were a slightly darker shade of blue, his hair was longer and he had removed his whisker marks. He focused on flexibility training and speed before strength. His main areas of expertise? Infiltration, stealth, wind ninjutsu, sealing and weapons. He had done as he father suggested regarding weapons, he was proficient with most, but he was well on the way to mastering shurikens and his battle fan. He spun one of his custom 9 bladed shurikens looking at the seals etched onto the obsidian colored metal. They were battle usable, though he still hadn't totally perfected what he wanted to achieve with them. Though maybe with Jiraiya's help... He shelfed the weapon and ran his hand up and down his pride and joy battle fan. The whole thing was made out of a special chakra conductive metal, elemental seals on the back of the fan to give his jutsus and extra 'kick.' And on the other side? A vivid painting portraying the Kyuubi no Kitsune standing over a burning destroyed city, that looked suspiciously like Konoha. After all, why not honor one of his strongest weapons with the image of the strongest Demon?

Naruto smiled to himself before disappearing in a another gust of wind, arriving at Team Gai's training grounds. He smiled to find 3 of his favorite people there, Lee, Tenten and Gai. He waved cheerily as he walked towards them. "Hey Lee! Tenten-chan, Gai-sensei."

Lee perked as he saw his best friend come towards him. It was a little known fact the two had been best friends ever since their mutual stint in Konoha's orphanage system. The spandex clad gennin happily waved the blond over. "Naruto-kun! It is most youthful to see you today! Would you care to spar?" He said with a slight wiggle of his eyebrows.

The jinchuuriki smiled, "It's why I came down. Got some weird crap going on in my life, some good, some bad, other news I'm not sure how to take."

Lee nodded sagely, this was a common occurrence between the two when one of them needed to talk. He dropped into the stance for his Goken. "What un-youthfulness plagues you today my friend?"

Naruto slid into the stance for his own Kazeken (Wind Fist if I'm right) a style built around flexibility and counters. He blocked a kick and lashed out with an elbow as Lee charged him. "Well I told you about the whole Jiraiya thing right?" Lee nods as he ducks under a kick throwing a punch at Naruto. "He wanted to take me on this big training trip for like 2 or 3 years."

Lee furrowed his brow as he dashed to side sending a spinning roundhouse kick to the back of Naruto's head. The blond managed to duck but a few hairs were brushed off. "Where is the problem there? Is it not youthful of him to train you? He is a Sannin after all."

Naruto shrugged spinning around and kicking Lee in the stomach, of course he was a little to far away so the kick didn't go in very deep. "Yeah but, then I'd mess the next few Chunnin exams landing me back in Konoha's again." Lee silently nodded at that. He remembered the brutal brawl they had when Naruto found out Sasuke and Shikamaru were promoted above him. He quickly closed the distance between the two sending a right hook into Naruto's jaw just a bit to fast for the blond to catch, sending him flying back about 20 feet. The blond shook his head before jumping back up, going into a more defensive stance. "Besides, I have no desire to leave the few friends I have for 3 years of no contact."

Lee smiled at that, "But surely that is not all that is on your mind Naruto-kun, I assume I still have the so-so news and the good news to hear?"

The blond grinned as Lee rushed in, the two engaging in a high speed series of strikes, blocks and parries finally ending with Naruto spinning around catching Lee in the side, sending the black haired boy back a ways. "The good news is I did manage to convince Ero-Sannin to stick around a bit and help me with my sealing projects."

Lee's face split into a grin at that as he swayed back dodging a kick from Naruto. Lee was the only person Naruto went over new ideas with and if he could fully finish some of his projects... "How youthful."

Naruto had to smile at that. He dashed forward, close enough to bump heads with the energetic Green Beast. "My last bit of news... Apparently the council approved a new treaty plan in the brief period of time we were without a Hokage." Lee raised his eyebrow, failing to see where that involved Naruto. "It's a new write up for a treaty with Suna. One involving a political marriage." He trailed off at that, he had to memorize the expression on Lee's face as he clicked it together.

Naruto gave a feral smile, it was truly a memorable face. Deep within his mind the Kyuubi gave an agreeing laugh. "BY THE FLAMES OF YOUTH YOUR GETTING MARRIED?!?" Elsewhere in the training ground Tenten dropped her kunai as her jaw fell open. Gai just stood shocked at the news of his almost part-time students impending marriage.

"LEE! WHAT IS THIS I HEAR OF YOUNG NARUTO-KUN'S MARRIAGE?"

"GAI-SENSEI! IS THIS NOT A SHINING EXAMPLE OF NARUTO-KUN'S FLAMES OF YOUTH?"

The two couldn't stop themselves, and deep down Naruto would never have either of them change. Cue the hug-fest, which they somehow managed to get Naruto himself in on. Tenten would be forever scarred at the image of a sunset at the beach, with a rather large demon fox playing in the surf.

Naruto gave a half grin as he felt some of his bones mercilessly crushed by spandex covered youthfulness. The coming days would be most interesting indeed.

...

Many, many, many miles away, through forest and desert sands, one Temari no Sabaku had just been informed of her impending fate. She took it with the grace one could expect from the wind mistress. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I'M GETTING MARRIED?"

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A/N: Here we are at the end of a new chapter of a new story. Yay! I was originally going to do this the standard start with gennin exams etc crap, but well... In most (namely all) of the political marriage fics I've read it starts after the Chunnin Exams, generally at least. And almost always has him as the blond retard from Cannon. Well I said screw it, I wasn't waiting 4 chapters to get past all the explanation of his training abilities and the differences between this AU and cannon. Instead through the wonderful use of flashbacks and references I can explain it much better... as seen a few times here for instance. As for my portrayal of this Naruto... I find it realistic, I sure as hell wouldn't be so forgiving if I found out I had been lied to as most people seem to make him. But he also isn't going to spaz out and swear destruction on Konoha. No, he hits the rarely seen middle area. Anyways I hope ya'lls enjoy this... Coming up next for me on the writing wheel is a new chapter of Hydra ( I have fun things planned for that chapter... mwahaha.) Oh! If anyone knows the picture I talked about, the one with Naruto dressed as Temari, could you send the link? I lost it...

Hmm, Dammit I don't really have anything for a poll (great ways of getting people to consider reviewing I find, cheap as it may seem.) Ah heres an idea...

What kind of summon should Naruto have?

Weasel (from Temari)

Toads

Ferrets

Or something else that has preferably not been done to death. Like say foxes.

Also: I kinda left Sarutobi's condition vague, probably coma. Ideas?