Chapter One:

With low expectations, human beings leave Earth to begin a new life on other planets. However, the United Federation of Nations gains great military powers. And takes control of one colony after another in the name of justice, and peace. The year is after colony 2506, Operation Big Push. In a move to counter the Federations tyranny, rebel citizens on certain colonies scheme to bring new arsenals to the earth, disguising them as shooting stars.

This is not their story. This is instead the story of an entirely different faction known as the Sons of Korhal. They did not appreciate the UFN's advances into their territory. So they proceeded to hijack a Space Colony. Upon evacuating everyone one board it, piloted it via skeleton crew into the orbit of Earth.

It took approximately sixteen hours and involved a harrowing stealth operation. But in the end, it worked.

'This is Duke,' said General Duke 'the Space Colony is in place.'

'Who authorized the use of a Colony drop?' asked Kerrigan over the com.

'I did, Lieutenant.' Said Mengsk.

'What?' She said 'Forcing these people out of their home was bad enough. Now you're going to launch it down onto the planets surface? This is insane.'

'She's right man,' said Captain Raynor 'think this through.'

'I have thought it through. You all have your orders. Carry them out.'

Duke activated his thrusters to send the space station hurtling toward the earth. If there had been an elite squad of Mobile Suit pilots available it might have been different. It could have made for a climactic final battle.

Unfortunately, Arcturus Mengsk didn't think that the Gundams were practical weapon systems. For reasons which by this point must seem all too obvious.

The Colony crashed into the earth. The resulting collision laid waste to its primary population centers. Lights went out, ashes filled the sky. Computers failed to record data as Earth was sent back to the stone age. Later, the Sons of Korhal would be hailed as heroes for coming in and restoring order. They also brought about a new order of peace and relative happiness.

The Gundam Antagonist lounge was dead silent. The sort of silence which you only ever hear about, and even then cannot fully comprehend. Not unless you are standing there in the thick of it. Arcturus Mengsk sat in an armchair, smoking a tobacco pipe. He looked very pleased with himself. Zechs Marquise stared at Arcturus Mengsk with horror. It was visible even through his mask. 'So… you dropped a colony on it?' He managed to say at last.

'Mmmhmmm,' said Arcturus smugly, without an ounce of remorse.

'You wiped out all life on Earth.'

'Mmmhmmm.'

'But what about the Gundams?!' asked Zechs. 'What about the battle for world peace!

'Well, I've always thought that total pacifism was a load of rot.' said Arcturus 'Power comes from the mouth of a gun. Besides, haven't you gentlemen realized that Gundams just side with some teenaged layabout. One who never does anything to earn her victory. Instead she just kind of gets handed leadership on a silver platter.

Gundam's just wasn't going to work for someone of my gender and age. So I made my own plan and activated it before anyone had the means to stop it. Now I'm a self-made man, and Ruler of the Sector.'

'I don't think I can bear to listen to any more of this.' said Zechs, standing up. 'I'm leaving.'

And with those words, all the other Char Clones began giving Arcturus the cold shoulder. Arcturus set down his drink, looking a little annoyed. 'If you have a problem with my conduct, sir, I suggest you be specific about what it is.'

'You dropped a freaking colony on Earth!' yelled Zechs in fury. 'You murdered billions! You crushed all the hopes and dreams of the Sector. You turned what should have been a victory into the rise of yet another oppressive regime!

And worst of all you got away with it! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DROPPED A COLONY ON AN INNOCENT PLANET!'

'Oh, what?' said Arcturus motioning around him to his fellow. 'You all did!'

There was a long, awkward silence. Finally, Char spoke up: 'You know, that actually makes sense.'

'But we didn't actually want Earth to be destroyed!' Said Zechs. 'It was a symbol of the futility of war by which the greatest battle of our time was fought. A war to end all wars that would bring about world peace after everything turned out alright in the end.'

'As a rule,' Arcturus mused. 'I never initiate any mission which I do not have a plan for the success of. It's not good practice in my line of work.'

'I didn't.' said a fourth voice, drawing their attention.

'Hmm,' said Arcturus.

'I didn't drop a colony on Earth.' affirmed Lelouch Vi Britannia, who wasn't really viewed as one of them. Not straight up heroic enough. 'I just saved all of humanity from instrumentality. Then I started a volcano to destroy my enemies. I also threw my soldiers lives away like tissue paper and took over the entire planet in a little less than a month. And along the way, I think I racked up one of the highest onscreen body counts of all time.'

There was a long, long silence as the facts set in.

'You realize, gentlemen.' said Arcturus triumphantly 'That this makes the Demon Emperor here the token good teammate of our merry band.'

The Gundam Wing Antagonists were filled with shame. They proceeded to fall into an angst-filled stupor. Meanwhile, Arcturus turned to Lelouch. 'You're good. Want a job?'

Lelouch considered that. 'Well, I'm not really in the business of supporting Empires, more rebelling against them.'

'And how pray tell, did that work out for you?'

'Good point.' Conceded Lelouch 'Alright, fine, but who exactly do you want to fight anyway?'

'Well, there are these Zerg things which I need a competent hand to destroy…'

Authors Note:

Dedicated to Arcturus Mengsk, the most efficient Gundam Wing Antagonist ever. He made his plan and paid no heed to pointless ideology. Seriously though, this joke was made up on the spot and yet I'm more than a little proud of it. It also foreshadows a fic idea which I've been mulling over for some time.