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Danny Williams frowned at the cat-sized witch's hat his daughter, Grace, was holding up. "I don't think that's such a good idea, monkey."
"But Danno," Grace wheedled, "Ninja would look so cute." Ninja was Danny's partner Steve McGarrett's cat.
"I really don't think he'd appreciate it," Danny said.
"Pretty please?" Grace begged. "I can dress up as a witch, and Ninja can wear the hat and be my familiar, and he can sit in the pumpkin candy bucket."
"You're not going to try taking him trick-or-treating with you, are you? He might get loose."
"Oh, no," Grace assured him. "We'll just hand out candy at Uncle Steve's and he can sit in the window."
Danny bit back any number of replies about the futility of trying to get a cat to sit still indefinitely, let alone in a candy bucket while wearing a witch's hat. "Okay, fine," he relented.
"Thank you, Danno!" Grace squealed.
Danny's predictions were confirmed on Halloween. He stood back and watched Grace chase Ninja around Steve's living room, waving the hat in one hand and the candy bucket in the other. Danny tried not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Really, Grace was almost 13. You'd think she'd have gotten over the urge to dress up cats by now. But no, she was pursuing Ninja with all the enthusiasm—and subtlety—of a six-year-old.
Grace almost had Ninja trapped against the door, but as she lunged for him, he darted under the sofa and crouched there, out of reach. "Danno, help me get him!" She cried.
"Me?" Danny said. "Why me?" He looked at Steve. "He's your cat."
Steve made a "no way" gesture with his hands. "Unh-unh. I'm staying out of this."
"Fine." Danny got down on his hands and knees and peered under the sofa. Ninja stared back at him, unblinking. "Here, kitty, kitty," he tried. Ninja's gaze never wavered.
"Okay, fine, you little furball, we do it the hard way." Danny reached under the sofa and grabbed Ninja by the scruff of his neck, hauling him out.
Ninja turned into a spitting, snarling beast. His legs flailed, trying to find purchase. Finally, his claws landed on Danny's shoulders and he dug in, then pushed off, leaving gouges through his shirt. "YOWWWWWCHHHH!" Danny screamed.
Ninja raced upstairs, Grace running after him. "You scared him, Danno!"
Danny clutched his bleeding shoulder. "Him? What about what he did to me? I think I need stitches!"
Steve couldn't hide his smirk. "Nah, you'll be fine. He just scratched you." He snickered.
"Just scratched me? Steve, I've got claw marks a foot long in my shoulder, all because of YOUR STUPID CAT!"
"Let me see." Danny carefully took off his shirt, wincing as it pulled at his injured shoulder. Steve examined the wounds. "Yeah, those are kind of nasty. Don't think you need stitches, though. Just gotta clean 'em good and put a bandage on them. And they aren't a foot long, just a couple of inches."
"That's long enough!" Danny exclaimed. "Just stop the bleeding already."
"Okay, fine, just quit your bitching." Steve went and got the first aid kit, then sat Danny down on the couch to tend his wounds.
While Steve was cleaning the scratches, Grace came down the stairs, cuddling Ninja to her chest. "There, there, Danno didn't mean to frighten you, did you, Danno?"
"No, of course not," Danny said insincerely. Ninja just glared at him, and Danny glared back.
"Now, let's put you in your costume," Grace told Ninja. "Don't you want to be all cute for Halloween?" The cat just purred in response, rubbing his head against Grace's chin. He didn't protest as Grace stuck the hat on his head and shoved him in the candy bucket. Grace displayed him proudly to Danny and Steve. "Doesn't he look adorable?"
"Precious," Danny said sarcastically.
It was Steve's turn to glare at him. "You both look fantastic. Let me take a picture."
Steve snapped a picture with his phone and showed it to Grace. "Oooh," she squealed. "Send it Uncle Chin and Auntie Kono and Uncle Lou so they can see how cute he looks!"
Steve pushed a few buttons. "Done. I sent it to you, too, Danno, so you'll have a lasting memory of this night."
Danny wanted to wipe the smirk off Steve's face. "Like I'm going to forget this in a hurry. I think I'm scarred for life."
The doorbell rang, and Steve, Grace, and Ninja joyfully went to greet the trick-or-treaters, leaving Danny to mourn his fate. Bested by a cat. How was this his life?