Luan: So you mean he's gonna find one of my jokes funny?!
No Luan, that's not what the title means.
Luan: Dang it.
September 7th, 2018
Anthony was in Lincoln's living room with Rita, Lynn Sr., Lynn Jr., Lincoln, and Whatshername. They were sitting around the coffee table, playing Vegetables Region.
Lincoln: Okay Anthony, your turn.
Anthony had his head down on the table because he was so sad.
Anthony: I don't want to. Whatshername, roll for me.
Whatshername: Again? Seriously?
Lynn Sr.: I'll roll the dice for him.
Lynn Sr. rolled the dice.
Lynn Sr.: You got corn and spinach.
Anthony: I don't care.
Lynn Sr. picked up a card.
Lynn Sr.: Which NBA player was the 17th to score 86 points in a single game?
Anthony: Brett Favre.
Lynn Jr.: …The NBA is a basketball league. Brett Favre was a football player.
Anthony: I know.
Lynn Jr.: …Okay, we've gotta do something. We're not gonna win the tournament if we've got Wayne Gretzky being traded to the Kings on our team. What's he so sad about anyway?
Anthony: What do you think I'm sad about?! Eureka died!
Lynn Jr.: You're still sad about that? It's been like 2 weeks.
Anthony: Have any of your sisters died?
Lynn Jr.: ….No. But she wasn't your…
Anthony: Then you can't tell me how long the grieving process is.
There was some awkward silence for a moment.
Lincoln: ….Okay…..Let's get back to the game. It's your turn, Whatsher…
Lincoln could tell he was about to sneeze. He turned to his right and accidentally sneezed in Whatshername's face.
Lincoln: Ah-choo!
After being sneezed on, Whatshername's eyes got very wide and she frowned.
Lincoln: Excuse me.
Lincoln looked at Whatshername.
Lincoln: Oh, and sorry about that.
Whatshername started screaming and then ran upstairs. The Louds in the room were very baffled by what had just happened. Anthony wasn't.
Lynn Jr.: What's with her?
Anthony: I'll go talk to her.
Anthony went upstairs. He opened Lincoln's bedroom door and saw Whatshername lying in Lincoln's bed.
Anthony: Why did you just run up here screaming?
Whatshername: …I'm gonna die.
After Whatshername explained to Anthony what was going on, he went back downstairs and over to Lincoln with the angriest expression Lincoln had ever seen him have.
Lincoln: So, what's up with Whatshername?
Anthony: ….
Anthony grabbed underneath Lincoln's head and started shaking him back and forth.
Lincoln: Uh…
Anthony: I'M TRYING TO THROTTLE YOU, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A NECK!
Lynn Sr.: But why?
Lincoln: Probably just because I'm Lincoln.
Anthony: That is only part of the reason! The other part is because your stupid sneeze is gonna make Whatshername die!
Lincoln: What?!
Rita: How could just one sneeze…?
Anthony: Go upstairs and see for yourself! She's in Lincoln's room!
Rita: You need to calm down. And stop shaking my son.
Anthony let go of Lincoln. The five of them went upstairs.
Anthony: Don't bother saying that I'm being ridiculous and Whatshername's fine because when you open the door, you'll cut that sentence short and scream.
Lincoln: …..What are you…?
Lincoln opened the door to his room. Lincoln, Lynn Jr., Rita, and Lynn Sr. screamed.
Anthony: Told ya'.
Whatshername's skin now had a black tint to it. Her tentacles were shriveled up and she was moaning in pain.
Whatshername: *cough* *cough*
Lincoln: What happened to her?
Anthony: You gave her Squid's Disease!
Lincoln: Squid's Disease?
Anthony left.
Lincoln: Isn't that from a SpongeBob episode?
Whatshername: That was a fake version Octoward made up. I have the real thing.
Lincoln: You mean Squidward?
Whatshername: I call him Octoward. Anyway, I'm gonna die sometime in the next few hours, and it's the day before my birthday, and it's all your fault, so GO AWAY!
Lynn Jr.: You're really gonna die? All Lincoln did was sneeze on you.
Whatshername: I'm an Inkling. We've been without humans for millions of years, so human germs are phenomenally dangerous to us because we never needed a resistance to them.
Lynn Jr.: You're a what?
Lincoln got worried.
Whatshername: I'm from a video game, okay?! And I'm not too fond of how much you hate Nintendo. I'd throw a pillow at you if yelling at you hadn't wasted a lot of the little energy I have.
Lynn Jr.: But if you're a video game character, than how are you real?
Whatshername: I don't have time to explain that. Lincoln, you're the one who made me sick, so you gotta do that cliché thing where you do anything I want. For starters, open the window.
Lincoln opened the window.
Lincoln: If I'm gonna do this, couldn't you at least not lay in my bed? It's gonna get all…
Whatshername: No! I'm thirsty. Go get me a lemon lime soda.
Lincoln: I don't think you should be drinking soda when you're this sick.
Whatshername give Lincoln an angry glare.
Lincoln: That angry glare is not gonna work.
Whatshername: Alright, fine. I guess I don't get to have a tasty drink one last time…before I die…..because of you.
Lincoln: ….Fine! I'll go get you a Ditto Twist.
Whatshername: A…what? Is that some different flavor? I only like regular Ditto.
Lincoln: It's the same thing. They just changed the name.
Whatshername: They changed the…? N-no. That's dumb. I refuse to drink that. Just call Diancie and tell her to come over here. And tell her to bring the whole group. Including Poipole.
Lincoln: Why wouldn't Poipole be included?
Whatshername: He's not an official member of the group yet. We're kinda sorta trying to make him one. And after you call Diancie, make me some chocolate pudding.
Everybody in the room, except Whatshername of course, left and went downstairs. Anthony laid down on the couch and started crying.
Lynn Sr.: Is there nothing we can do about this? Squid's Disease doesn't have a cure?
Anthony: I asked her and she said there's no known…
Anthony heard something. He instantly sat up dramatically and put his hand behind his left ear. Then he ran out of the house at an incredible speed. He ran to Reflection Cave and went through one of the portals. It took him to the universe of…