Authors Note: Iunno. I've been addicted to playing KH II and this idea just popped into my head. It's a parody, don't think much of it.
Well.
It'll make you giggle.
No. It's not yaoi. There isn't any pairing in this. Just in the beginning, a little fan service.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…Yeah.
"Riku…" Sora sighed as he came up for a breath. His fingers tightened their grip on Riku's hair.
"Sora," Riku breathed. His hands were wrapped around Sora's back. The two boys stared at each others eyes longingly.
"Riku, I—" Sora began. He was cut off by the bell of the clock tower behind them. "gotta go."
"Now?" Riku asked, a little disappointed.
"Yeah, look at the time. Shouldn't you be moving along, too?"
Riku thought for a moment, the said "Yeah, I guess you're right. See you later, then."
"Bye."
The two parted ways.
Sora hated being idle. He thinks of it like "if you stay on idle then Heartless can just pop on up out of nowhere, as is there custom, and attack you for no good reason and you can't fight back." Sure, Donald and Goofy can move around, but they're not much help. The just inflict minor damage. Sora was stuck; a victim of players. He was nothing now without someone at the controller.
That's the thing about being a video game character, though. You can only move when the player tells you, and when he or she does, you can only move they way they want you to. And if the player is off gallivanting or doing something for their mothers, then you have to wait.
And wait.
And wait.
I wonder how Riku is faring, Sora thought as a dancer grabbed his leg. Certainly he isn't on idle. He doesn't have any players to control him. Just a script and—ow! The dancer tossed him. His head hit the floor.
Donald was unconscious and Goofy was throwing his shield at the sparkle robot Heartless.
Sora never could remember that Heartless' name; he just thought that it was fun to grab it and shoot it's "sparkle ray" at other Heartless.
And then Sora clutched his keyblade. Thank God, he praised. He whacked the dancer upside the head, making a 2 hit combo and ending with Explosion. The little silver orbs of lightening danced around him and then shocked the dancers.
Sora liked Explosion. It made him feel like Gandalf, Sorcerer of Light.
He, followed by Goofy and a suddenly conscious Donald, ran through the Bailey, prepared to fight their way into the Great Maw.
And then there was a cut scene. God, he hated the cut scenes. So many lines to remember. He shouted right on cue, subdued right on cue, and cried right on cue.
He was really good at it.
The only thing he couldn't stand was the whole "jumping into the pit of a Heartless-filled death a thousand feet below."
But he still did it.
Of course, this was the battle scene with Demyx. He liked Demyx. He didn't want to whoop his ass.
That would be mean.
And then Demyx dies.
And that's not fun.
Man. Demyx just has to fight using water. All that ever does is make Sora want to pee!
This brings up another issue.
What the hell is with the whole peeing situation? Sora only ever gets to relieve himself once every, what, 5 worlds? Seriously, all he consumes are elixirs and potions. Those can really fill up a guy's bladder. And the only worlds with usable bathrooms are Twilight Town (which isn't real), The World That Never Was (but those toilets are reserved for the Nobodies, so he has to sneak into them to actually use them), and Hollow Bastion/Radiant Garden. Sure, Halloween Town has them, but knowing that every time you walk into one of their restrooms you risk the chance of wetting yourself due to fright before you even pull down your fly really isn't all that appealing.
And then there's Atlantica.
You try swimming in other peoples waste products.
It's really kind of disgusting.
Oh, look. Goofy just got hit in the head and died, Sora noted as the cut scene continued. He stuttered and crawled to his friend's side.
Mickey said some shit, then, and then he and Donald and Mickey set off to fight their way to the Crystal Fissure.
This was the part Sora liked, fighting with his favorite Final Fantasy characters. (Cloud, FTW!)
He met with Donald and Mickey, ready for what he knew was yet another cut scene. Great, he thought. The big talking dog's back. And then he was idle.
AGAIN.
The chests were mocking him.
"Open me, Sora!" they called. "I have four Orichalcums and a Serenity Stone."
Sora always gets Serenity Stones. For just once, he'd like a Dark Crystal. But does he ever GET them? No. So he'll be stuck on Moogle Synthesis level 1 for the rest of eternity.
Great.
But he hasn't gotten an Orichalcum so far, though. He knew that there wouldn't be one in there, but he still wanted to open it.
He opened all the chests after getting off idle and ran on.
Again, a cut scene.
He spoke to that guy from Organization XIII.
The man told him to show how much he cared for Kairi. Sora didn't care much for Kairi. She was just sort of…there.
Now, Riku.
He cared about Riku. Riku was there there. And he was fo-ine.
But, he pretended he was talking to Riku and got down on his hands and knees anyway.
I hate this job…