It's here! The final installment of the Adventure Time/Deadpool crossover series! All your questions will be answered now! ...Well, maybe not all of them. ...Maybe just the one revolving around the plo-ENJOY!
I do not own Adventure Time or Deadpool.
The group of interdimensional counterparts flee through the technologically based city, as a group of robots on hover bikes race after them.
"Stop!" a robot orders.
"No!" Fionna yells. The robot looks at the others.
"She said no." the robot informs.
"Did you say please?" another robot questions.
"Oh, right." the robot replies, then looks back at the group, "Please, stop!"
"NEVER!" Finn yells, as he grabs one of Jake's ears and wraps it around his waist. He then pulls out his sword and leaps off of Jake towards the robots. He land on the front of one of the hover bikes and slices the head off of a robot.
"Hey, stop it!" another robot yells, only for Finn to steer the bike into his, causing him to wreck. Finn leaps off just in time and is pulled back by Jake's ear. Finn lands back on Jake's back, as they continue to flee. Fionna takes off her backpack and reaches into it, pulling out a Bomba.
"No one stands a chance against... THE BOMBAAAAAA!" Fionna screams, as she lights its fuse.
"...Where'd you get a Bomba?" Marshall Lee questions.
"I got it from Choose Goose, she'll give you anything for a wad of cash." Fionna answers, then throws the Bomba at the robots, taking them out with a large explosion.
"AW YEAH!" Jake cheers, as he bumps fists with Fionna.
"Stop me if you've heard this one before." Deadpool says, "A boy, a dog, a girl, a cat, two vampires and a band of mercenaries are heading towards a chasm-"
[Oh, I know this one! It's funny 'cause the alien is a guy!]
"Not the time for jokes, Wade!" Finn states.
"Oh no, I wasn't telling a joke." Deadpool replies, with a chuckle in his voice. The group then notices a large chasm ahead of them.
"S'all good, man, we can just jump it!" Finn informs.
"Wrong!" Cake yells, grabbing Jake as she leaps down into the chasm.
"OH MY GLOOOOOOB!" Finn screams, as they fall into the blackness below.
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAHH, HA, HAAA, WOOOOO!" Marceline cheers in excitement. Lady Deadpool speeds towards the chasm.
"I'm gonna tell you one more time, Wade!" Lady Deadpool states, sounding angry, "Let go of my hushpuppies, or your ass is outta here!" Deadpool gives a perverted smirk.
"...Squeeze." Deadpool whispers, as he squeezes Lady Deadpool's fun bags.
[...You done goofed.]
Lady Deadpool presses an eject button on the hover bike, ejecting Deadpool from the bike just as they go over the edge of the chasm.
"TOTALLY WORTH IT!" Deadpool yells, as he falls along with the others. Kidpool hovers over the chasm, Headpool and Dogpool still in his arms.
"Well, it's a good thing we still got the jetpack." Headpool states.
[Should I tell him?]
"Tell me what?" Headpool questions.
"That the price of fuel is outrageous." Kidpool answers, shutting off the jetpack.
"Thanks, Obama!" Headpool yells, as the three fall into the chasm.
Soon, the group manages to regroup, as they continue to fall. Everyone remains silent, waiting.
"...So, how long does it take to reach the bottom?" Finn questions.
"Reeeeeeeaaaaaallllllyyyyy long." Fionna answers.
"Huh." Finn replies, as he continues to wait.
"...Hey, here's an idea, why don't you guys tell us WHAT THE GLUB IS GOIN' ON?" Marceline yells.
"Tito, you got some s'plainin' to do!" Lady Deadpool informs.
"Okay, I'm about to blow your minds right now!" Kidpool explains, "So, I was just chillaxin' in my crib, like a balla', when all of a sudden the Elder showed up and told me that me and Cujo had to go get Shorty from another universe."
"I'm beginning to think that this Elder guy is lazy." Headpool says.
"I was all like, "No probs, Picard"." Kidpool continues, "So, he sent us here and Cujo went to work with his sniffa to find Shorty. We knew we were on the right track when the zombies showed up. And being the badasses we are, we took good care of them."
"So, dinner and a movie?" Deadpool questions.
[Then, a little trip back to his place for some 'coffee'!]
[Oh, that sounds nice.]
[I think I got an idea of what we're doing after this!]
[What is it with grown-ups and coffee?]
[They means sex.]
[EW!]
[Woof!]
"That still doesn't explain the wacked out technology, man." Jake informs.
"I was getting to that!" Kidpool states.
[No you weren't. you were gonna go into great detail about killin' zombies.]
"Why do you feel the need to contradict me?" Kidpool questions.
[Because you don't pay me enough attention! And I'm lonely!]
"But then, we noticed something strange." Kidpool informs, ignoring his inner thought boxes, "The same zombies just kept coming and coming, almost like we were in a loop. ...Or just lazy game dsigning. Congrats, by the way." Deadpool gives a thumbs-up. "So, I decided to test a theory." Kidpool says.
"What'd you do?" Finn replies.
"I let them bite Cujo." Kidpool answers. Dogpool growls in response.
"Man, that's not okay at all!" Jake states, shocked.
"It was for science!" Kidpool yells, "Anyway, Cujo didn't go all Walker on me, and it was at that moment that I knew two things. One, I should never hold a pissed off dog at crotch level. And two, they weren't really zombies. So, using my superior knowledge, I manage to determine that the apocalyptic wasteland around us was not real at all, but was actually a program designed to fool me!"
"You took a wild guess and assumed you were in the Matrix, didn't you?" Deadpool replies.
"Yes." Kidpool answers, "And I've yet to be proven wrong! By the way, Shorty, I brought you a present!"
"Swear to god if it's a sweater..." Headpool warns. Kidpool pulls a propeller hat out of one of his pockets. Headpool's eyes widen with delight, as he squeals like a little girl. "My hat!" he squeals.
"You want this hat?" Kidpool questions, waving the hat around.
"I want it!" Headpool says.
"You want this hat?" Kidpool repeats.
"I want it!" Headpool replies, raising an eyebrow.
"You want this hat?" Kidpool says.
"I want it!" Headpool groans, becoming annoyed.
"You want, you want-" Kidpool giggles.
"I WANT THAT HAT!" Headpool yells, trying to bite Kidpool out of rage. Kidpool attaches the hat to Headpool's head. Headpool giggles with joy, as his propeller spins. Finn and Jake stare at the two, a bit confused.
"...Sooo, what about you guys?" Finn questions, looking at the gender benders.
"Someone had the Transporter on the wrong setting." Cake informs. Everyone glares at Lady Deadpool.
"...What?" Lady Deadpool questions, confused.
"If Tito and Cujo didn't save us, we'd still be stuck in that donky world." Fionna says.
"That's right, we're the heroes!" Kidpool states, "Not Wade! Not Boobs! Not Shorty! Not Bruce Willis! Us!"
[You're about as humble as George Cloney.]
"Alright, Tito, we get it!" Deadpool informs, "You guys are useful! Now cram one of Wanda's sweaty socks in it!"
[...You have a problem.]
"Anyway!" Fionna says, irritated, "That's when we found you guys."
"Okay, now that we're clear on that, why did we leap down a chasm?" Jake questions.
"Girl, you skipped some parts." Cake informs.
"Oh yeah, well-" Fionna tries to explain.
"Let me tell this part, Heroine." Marshall Lee says, "So, there we were, wandering around this weird techno world, fightin' off robot after robot with my sweet guitar swingin' skills, when we were surrounded on all sides by hoards of robots. It looked hopeless for the band of misfits, but luckly for them, Marshall Lee the Vampire King was on their side. Armed with my bass-guitar, I shredded a righteous melody of awesomeness that surged across the land. The ground quaked, the sky blackened, and my soldiers of the undead rose from their graves. And though its power could reverse death itself, the salacious rhythm wooed the heroic heart of the lovely Fionna, who then leaned into the ear of the Vampire King and whispered "I'm ready." And with that-"
"Marshy, quit that mad jivin'!" Fionna yells, blushing in embarrassment, "That didn't happen. We were outnumbered, saw a chasm and jumped in." Marshall Lee laughs.
"Chill, Babeh, I was just spicing the story up a bit." Marshall Lee replies.
"More like Michael Bayeing it." Deadpool states.
"I loved Transformers!" Kidpool says. Deadpool and Headpool glare at him.
"...You're no longer allowed to speak." Headpool informs.
[Ever!]
"So, what happened next?" Finn questions.
"Well, after falling for what seemed like forevah, we finally reached the buttom." Cake answers, "And you'll never guess what we found."
"My car keys?" Deadpool replies.
"No, fool!" Cake says, "We found-"
"AN UNDERGROUND CITY OF CRYSTALS!" Jake yells, his eyes wide.
"Sweet guess, bro!" Finn states.
"No, man, look!" Jake replies, pointing down. The group looks down, seeing a city made of crystals below them, as they reach the bottom of the chasm.
"Whoa, that's banaynay!" Finn says, shocked. Jake and Cake stretch their legs down to the ground, landing safely. Kidpool uses his jetpack to lower himself to the ground, and Lady Deadpool's hover bike stops before it could reach it. Everyone waits for a moment.
"...Where's DP?" Marceline questions.
"Bark!" Dogpool barks, looking up. Everyone looks up to see Deadpool impaled on a crystal stalagmite. He squirms around for a minute.
"...I'm stuck." Deadpool informs, giving up on his struggling.
[Like always.]
"I'll get him down." Kidpool says, as he sets Dogpool down and allows Headpool to hover with his hat. He then flies up to Deadpool with his jetpack.
"Dude... this is kind of... beautiful." Marceline states, looking around in amazement at the city.
"Yeah, it's cool, but it's no Ice Cream Kingdom." Jake replies.
"Ha, ha, you're so tubby." Finn laughs, as he looks around, "What is this place?"
"Donald Trump's pool house." Lady Deadpool answers.
"This is the Kingdom of the Robotic Overlord." Fionna explains, "Also where the planet gets it's power juices."
"It's called an energy core, ya ding dong!" a female voice states. Everyone turns around to find Princess Bubblegum, looking angry.
"Hey, it's Bubbleboobs!" Deadpool says, as Kidpool pulls out one of his lightsabers.
"PB!" Finn yells, rushing over to her, "Are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine, I just fell eleventy-billion feet into the core of the flippin' planet!" Princess Bubblegum answers.
"Take a chill pill!" Jake says, putting a paw over Princess Bubblegum's mouth. Princess Bubblegum smacks the paw away.
"I will not take a chill pill!" Princess Bubblegum replies.
"Don't worry, it's a suppository." Lady Deadpool informs, as she holds up a pill.
"Why do you carry those around?" Headpool questions.
"Always better to be prepared, that's my motto." Lady Deadpool answers.
[No it's not. It's "Don't take a hit while on your period". And we all know why that is.]
"Don't remind me." Lady Deadpool says. Princess Bubblegum slaps Lady Deadpool.
[BITCH SLAPPED!]
"Shut it, ya butt!" Princess Bubblegum orders. Lady Deadpool pulls out a knife.
"BITCH!" Lady Deadpool yells, enraged as she swipes at Princess Bubblegum. Fionna and Cake hold her back. "Let me go, now!" she growls, "Imma cut a hoe!"
"Bring it, dumb dumb!" Princess Bubblegum replies, not afraid. Marceline swings her axe at Princess Bubblegum, only for her to dodge it. "What the glub, Marceline?" Princess Bubblegum yells, shocked. All of a sudden, a piece of hair falls off her head.
"I owe you one for humiluating me earlier!" Marceline laughs, swinging her axe again.
"Things are getting uber cray cray, Finn!" Jake states, as he grows his hands and grabs both Marceline and Princess Bubblegum. Marceline bites Jake's finger. "AAAHHH!" Jake cries.
"STOOOOOOP!" Finn screams. Everyone stops in their tracks, staring at Finn. Just then, Deadpool falls to the ground, the tip of the stalagmite still lodged inside of him. "We can't fall apart now!" Finn informs, "We're a unit! A unit... of kickin' butt! And look at us! We're trying to kill each other!"
"...But she started it." Lady Deadpool whines, pointing at Princess Bubblegum.
"I don't care!" Finn states, "It has to stop right nooooowww! Say sorry! All of you!" Everyone looks around, all feeling a bit awkward.
"...Sorry, for slapping you, Wanda." Princess Bubblegum sighs.
"It's cool." Lady Deadpool replies, "And I'm sorry for trying to dice you into my own personal supply of Hubba-Bubba."
"Apology accepted." Princess Bubblegum says. Marceline hovers next to her, smirking.
"I'm waaaaiiitiiing, Bonnie." Marceline informs, her smirk growing larger by the second. Princess Bubblegum's face shows pure annoyance.
"...I'm sorry, Marceline." Princess Bubblegum mutters. Marceline giggles.
"It's okay." Marceline replies.
"Not to break up this little lovefest, but we still have some unanswered questions." Deadpool states, getting back to his feet, "Why exactly are we down here? Wasn't there a flamboyant bubblegum prince in your group? Why should I care that we're in the energy core? And who the hell is the Robotic Overlord?"
"We have to get to the transporter." Fionna answers.
"Prince Pain-In-The-Ass is trying to bypass the security system that the robots put on said transporter." Lady Deadpool explains.
"The energy core gives the planet and robots their power." Princess Bubblegum informs, "Take out the energy core and it's KA-BLEWY planet!"
"And I am the Robotic Overlord!" a voice announces. Everyone turns around only to be frozen in shock.
"No way..." Jake says.
"Dude..." Marceline adds.
"It's..." Fionna tries to say.
"Beemo?" Finn questions, his eyes completely wide.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. What will happen next? Tune in next time! Please Review. Thanks.