I don't know about you, but I love the F my life website. I decided to apply some to our favorite Hogwarts crowd.
F My Life. Hogwarts style
Today I headed out to Hogwarts and decided to have a little fun on the train ride there. I searched my bag for my bright pink vibrator but it wasn't there. Later, I got an owl from my mom saying she had found it on my dresser and borrowed it.
F my life,
Hermione Granger.
Today I was going on a walk by the lake with a guy I like. I decided to tell him I had feelings for him. He said he felt the same way. I went in to kiss him but he grabbed my face and pushed it away and said "until your acne clears up we are not together." I went to Pomfrey to get some bubertuber zit cream but she said it wouldn't be strong enough and is having Snape brew a special batch.
F my life,
Eloise Midgen
I was visiting my grandparents but I forgot some toothpaste. I borrowed some from them but then my mouth went numb. I looked at the tooth paste and saw that it was my grandfather's Anti-Itch Anal Cream.
F my life,
Colin Creevy
I thought it was high time I talked to my only daughter about the special relationship between witches and wizards. She asked when was the first time I had sex. I said 22. My daughter responded, "beat ya!
She's 13.
F my life,
Arthur Weasly
Today my name was called at dinner in the great hall because I won some sort of academic prize. Everyone boo'd.
F my life
Severus Snape
Today at the Quidditch World Cup a couple of wizards knocked over a porta-potty while partying. I was in that porta-potty. Here's the kicker, I had diarrhea from a bad treacle tart.
F my life
Neville Longbottom
Today I went to use the bathroom and I heard someone whom I thought was my friend talking. I said "I hate being on my rag, I get constipated a lot," to make conversation. When I opened the stall door I saw two guys using the urinals. I had walked into the men's bathroom.
F my life,
Lavender Brown
Today I was going through some stuff in our attic when I found some of my Dad's porn collection. Never one to waste and opportunity I took the pictures and started masturbating. Unfortunately my mom walked in and asked "Where did you find those? I only did those pictures because I was young and didn't have any money!"
Yes, they were pictures of my mother that I had been jacking off to.
F my live,
Draco Malfoy
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