I was reading an anti-Rinoa fic that used her not being a SeeD as the reason why she didn't belong the way the others did, and got inspired to write this. This isn't an anti-Rinoa fic (unless you choose to read it this way), but me trying to get into her head as a girl who always feels like an outsider.
Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn't post it on a site for FAN fiction, now would I?
She tried to be happy when Seifer was accepted back into SeeD, she really did. She loved him once, cared about him still, and knew she should be happy that he was welcomed back with open arms. Rinoa just couldn't handle the fact that, even after betraying his friends, even after committing atrocities, Seifer still would be part of the group in a way she never could.
Seifer had passed the SeeD exams; Rinoa was too old to even try them, and that was all that mattered, not what side each of them had fought on. Rinoa considered Squall, Quistis, Selphie, Zell, and Irvine to be her best friends. They had gone through so much together, and still spent nearly every day together, but there would always be a barrier between her and them. They were SeeD and she was not, there were some aspects of their life that she could neither be a part of nor understand. Those ties bound them closer to Seifer than to her. He was a SeeD.
No one went out of their way to exclude Rinoa, it just seemed to happen. There were always meetings or missions that she was unable to go to, inside jokes that she didn't understand, experiences they shared that she could not. Squall didn't understand, he told Rinoa often that he knew what she was capable of, that she was even more brave and heroic because she wasn't a soldier, she helped of her own free will, not as a mission. Rinoa appreciated his words, but couldn't help wondering when Squall would get tired of her, when he would want to be with someone he could consider an equal, like Quistis. Rinoa knew Squall would be able to respect and admire Quistis.
Rinoa had been able to ignore her feelings, had been able to pretend she was one of the crowd until Seifer showed up. The idea that one of their own was returning got everyone to celebrate. Selphie was the most enthusiastic, jumping up and down and clapping her hands in excitement. Zell and Irvine tried not to show it, but both smiled and shook Seifer's hand. Quistis blushed when Seifer gave her a kiss on the cheek. Even Squall, the most reserved of them all on the matter, mentioned how it was good to be back like old times. Old times, the orphanage, another thing that kept Rinoa separate. Only Irvine had really clear memories of their childhood together, and yet they all seemed to treasure the fact that they were young friends.
Their orphanage family, and later, the SeeD family, made up for their lack of traditional familes. Rinoa was part of their group, but did not feel like part of their family. Friend, occasional teammate, girlfriend, but not family. Seeing Seifer, the black sheep of that family, walk through the garden's gate and back into their lives tore her up inside. He had tried to kill them, but belonged more than her.