A/N - This story came to me when I was re-watching season 4 and remembered how much I disliked Riley's character and the entire Initiative story-line. It starts cannon, but diverges pretty quickly. Most of the dialogue from the first chapter is taken directly from the season 4 episode "The Harsh Light of Day" but everything else will be written by me.

Enjoy my first attempt at a multi-chaptered fic and, as always, let me know about any mistakes you find so I can fix them. I currently have no beta so some mistakes get by me.

Chapter One: I Know Who I Am

The room was full of teenagers, bodies pressing close to the stage where the night's band was playing. On the upper balcony, a leather clad figure lounged, leaning against the railing lazily as he surveyed the buffet below. Strobe lights rotated from the ceiling, coloring his normally platinum hair blue and red as the beams of light passed over him.

The heady scents of hormones and blood drifted around, stimulating the demon within him. He reeled the monster back, eyes flashing from blue to yellow for a moment.

Most of his attention was focused on a group of three girls sitting at a table behind him. He had followed them all the way here from the shopping district - stalking your prey was half the fun after all.

"Shelly, you have got to get over Mark." he heard one of them say, and he turned his head slightly, catching them in his peripherals.

Two of them were rather unremarkable, your basic carbon copy brunettes. The other was the one who had caught his attention. She was slender with a full set of lips and cascading blonde hair.

God did he love a blonde.

She was speaking to her friends, her voice rough with emotion, "Anne, I can't! I loved him." she said.

The girl, Anne, shrugged, "Well he cheated on you so the feeling must not have been mutual."

"It's been three weeks already, Shelly! It's time to get over him and find another guy." the other spoke confidently.

'Stupid bints,' the vampire thought, sensing that their words, far from comforting the blonde, were making her feel worse.

Deciding he had waited long enough, he turned and approached the table, slapping a charming smile across his face.

"Excuse me," he said softly and the three girls faced him, "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

The brunettes were both blushing, their eyes all over him. Shelly, however, did not seem quite as dense as her friends. Her lips were down turned in the beginning of a frown, mistrust blossoming in her eyes.

"It's not polite to eavesdrop." she said sharply.

He nodded thoughtfully, "True." he admitted.

The girl's eyes widened, she had clearly not expected him to agree with her.

Before she could respond, he continued, "But I noticed you were upset and it bothered me to know some cheatin' bloke had done it."

Gradually, the uncertainty drained from her eyes and was replaced with interest. He held back a smirk, breaking character now would lose him his supper.

"I was wonderin', actually, if you would be interested in dancin'?" he held out his hand, keeping his face earnest.

'So easy.'

Shelley hesitated a moment, her friends watching with a mixture of jealousy and hunger, before taking the offered hand.

"You're cold." she said in surprise.

He grinned, that dopey look William always used to wear, "Poor circulation. Dancin' will help warm me up." he said easily.

Leading her away from her friends, he found a secluded corner that overlooked the band but hid them from other people on the balcony.

"So," she said as her hands rested on his shoulders, "What's your name?"

He gripped her waist gently, keep a bit of distance between them, "Most people call me Spike." he said.

She laughed, the sound reminding him of a wind chime… if said wind chime was rubbed against a cheese grater. Why did the nicest looking bints always have the most annoying voices? His thoughts strayed to Harmony and he shuttered, dreading when he would return home to her and her endless chatter.

Shelly mistook his tremble for being cold and she moved closer, leaving only a few centimeters between them.

"I'm Shelly, though you probably already knew that from listening in." she said, her skin flush.

Though Spike had never been able to hypnotize people the way Drusilla could, he had always suspected something about him drew the opposite gender. Women always seemed to become obsessed with him once he turned on the charm, not that he was complaining.

His hands slid to her hips and he gripped her tighter, "Pretty name." he whispered, breath curling against her ear.

Her arms came up, her fingers lacing behind his head as they swayed seductively.

He could feel himself become aroused, the combination of being about to feed and having the girl so close to him sending his blood rushing down south.

"Try somethin'?" he asked huskily, lips just brushing her ear.

She trembled against him, the scent of her arousal making him light headed.

"Try what?" she gasped, pressing against him.

He groaned at the contact, "Close your eyes."

She complied, full lashes fluttering closed. Slowly, he pressed his lips against her ear, sliding lower with each brush against her skin. By the time he reached her neck, she had begun to grind against him, moaning.

His fangs slid out, the music hiding the crunching sound created as his face morphed. He pressed his lips firmly against where her pulse was strongest, feeling the blood rushing just below the surface.

Vampires had the ability to feed without causing pain, though it required patience. As he was in no hurry to return to Harmony, Spike took his time, sliding his fangs into her neck neatly.

She gasped, grinding against him harder as he drank from her slowly, too caught in lust to realize what was happening.

The blood danced across his tongue, warm and slightly sweet. It settled in his stomach, a ball of warmth that spread throughout him. Shelly had begun to weaken, leaning heavily against his frame even as he drew in another mouthful.

Her pulse was sluggish as she slumped forward, unconscious in his arms. As much as he wanted to finish her off, he knew doing so would not be in his best interest. A dead body would make the news and alert the slayer. The girl would wake up feeling sick and stumble home, thinking he had put something in her drink, and no one would be the wiser.

Propping the prone form in a chair, he arranged her to look like she was sleeping. Moving some of her hair to cover his bite mark, he stepped back and peered around the corner of the alcove, looking for her friends.

The two brunettes were nowhere to be found, meaning they had probably vacated to the lower floor. Strolling towards the stairs, he glanced at the room below where people had dispersed some, the band having just finished their set.

His eyes followed one of the band mates, a kid with reddish hair, as he jumped off the stage and made his way to a table with two girls.

"Bollocks!" Spike hissed between his teeth, recognizing the girls as the Slayer and Red.

He was about to make his hasty escape when something caught his attention. The two girls kept looking up at a round mirror located above them, clearing watching someone. From his angle, he could not make out the source of their fascination.

Deciding he wanted a closer look, curiosity had been one of the human traits he had retained after turning, he made his way down the stairs and approached the trio cautiously. He positioned himself behind and to the right of them, close enough to hear them talking but far enough to be outside their line of vision.

"Buffy's having lusty wrong feelings." Red was saying to the band member.

Spike's brow rose as he snorted. 'Interested in another bloke already? Forehead only left the Hellmouth three months ago.'

The Slayer was denying her friend's claim, shaking her head though judging by the smug look on Red's face, she was not buying it.

He had tuned out some of their banter, quickly becoming bored again. Deciding it was time to vacate the premise, he paused again when a tall man from the pool table walking towards the group.

He tapped on the Slayer's shoulder, eliciting a breathy, "Hi." from her.

"I just wanted to say, I'm heading out. And it's not real safe around here, so, if you need a walk back to your dorm." the boy said sheepishly.

'God, tell me she's not gonna fall for that.' Spike thought, realizing the bloke was playing with her.

When the Slayer flirted back shamelessly, the vampire resisted the urge to face palm. After the whole Angelus debacle, he had assumed she would have become more careful around men. Whatever radar of hers that was so good at picking out every bleeding vampire was terrible at distinguishing the shitty blokes.

The two were leaving the club, not quite touching. Spike tasted something bitter in the back of his throat, driving out any remaining sweetness from his dinner. Unconsciously, he began to follow the couple as they exited.

Outside the Bronze was mostly deserted, meaning he had to keep well back to avoid being spotted. The dim street lighting meant his hair did not glow, making it easier for him to blend in with his all black attire.

The couple was making their way back to the shopping district, the street gradually becoming more and more crowded as they progressed. Spike was able to slide closer, making out their conversation.

"Hobbies?" the Slayer was asking.

The man replied easily, "Yeah, hobbies. Interests. I feel like there's so much I still don't know about you. What do you like to do?"

Spike snorted. Clearly the bugger had no idea he was talking to The Vampire Slayer. Buffy was still entertaining the notion she could live a normal life, something Spike thought he had made resoundingly clear last year that she could not have.

It bothered him some to see her, usually so poised and graceful, pretending to be what she so obviously was not. He may be just a vampire, but at least he knew what that meant.

"What's that?" Floppy Hair said, his gaze fastened to her neck.

"What's what?" she replied, confused.

"You have a scar."

Spike was not the tallest bloke, even in boots. Standing on his toes to get a better look, he watched the boy rub a bite mark on her neck. Angelus' bite mark.

"Oh. Right. Angry puppy." the Slayer said self consciously, "So do I get to see any of your scars?" she asked, diverting attention away from the still touchy subject.

Spike closed the distance between them, getting dangerously close. He was now only twelve feet behind, well within her sensing range.

Buffy, however, remained oblivious, her attention still focused resolutely on the ponce, who he now knew was named Parker. He only half listened to the rest of the conversation, not particularly interested in their "hopes for the future" bullshit.

When the couple turned down a side road, headed for the university, Spike continued going straight, lost in thought.

As much as he wanted to kill the Slayer, he had enjoyed their little jaunt last year when he had kidnapped Red to make him a love potion. Sure Forehead had been there which always soured the mood, but it had been exhilarating.

There were few, even in the demon world, who could match him in a fight. With Buffy, it had been more than a bar brawl, they had been dancing.

That is why it was so disconcerting to see her lower herself for a ponce she had only met a week ago. Was she really so desperate to be normal she was ignoring all the warning signs? He kicked moodily at a bent can, sending it careening down the sidewalk. Since he had first met her, he had recognized Buffy as an equal.

They had never gotten along, he had made sure of it, but there had been a grudging respect. Not many had his respect. Hell, he hardly even bothered to learn the name's of his enemies. That was where his distaste was boiling from, he had given her what was a huge honor in his eyes and here she was, embracing the stereotypical college girl persona.

It was not often he was so wrong about someone.

He growled, frustrated at how she had once again managed to spoil his good mood. Deciding to just return home, he opened the first manhole he came across, dropping in neatly and disappearing into the labyrinth below.

Harmony lounged on a table, wincing every time one of the jackhammers caused a small avalanche of stones to cascade, filling the air with debris. Her eyes were trained on the back of her platinum haired boyfriend.

He had promised to take her out later that night but once again his stupid project had taken precedence over their relationship. She remembered when she had first seen him, all powerful and sexy in his leather jacket… and those cheekbones. Too bad she could not show him off to Cordelia.

Swinging herself down from the table, she approached Spike, who was strangling Brian for some reason. Linking her hands around his flat stomach, she tried to get his attention.

"How's my little blondy-bear?" she simpered.

Spike was tensing under her touch, his aura turning black. She did not notice however, too busy trying to look sultry.

"Harm, does this look like a good time to talk?" the words were practically snarled.

She ignored him, "Are you gonna kill Willow today? Cause I want you to say 'this is for messing with my sweet girl'-" she broke off as he spun in her grasp and shoved her against a wall bodily.

"Sod off, I've got work to do." he said, returning his attention to the mess of hand drawn schematics littering the table.

"I wanna go to a party!" she demands, her voicing rising to a dog whistle-like pitch.

This time when Spike grabbed her, he pinned her against the wall with his body, temper snapping.

"Ooh, right here baby? In front of Brian?" she asked, licking her lip in a way that made Spike want to stake her.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he spat, tightening his grip.

'Maybe I would… after a party." she seductively.

Spike groaned inwardly, not even remotely interested in venturing out again after the previous night. Thoughts of the Slayer had nagged at him all day, making him distracted and edgy. He just wanted to get the Gem of Amarra so he could kill her and get her out of his head.

"Tonight. I'll take you somewhere nice." he promised Harmony vaguely, more so to stop her interruptions than because he bore her any real affection

And if she was "accidentally" staked tonight, well, it did not hurt a bloke to hope.

Walking down the lane, Spike followed the large crowd of teens, Harmony plastered to his left side. He constantly told her to stand at his right - he was left handed and did not want his dominant side hampered by her - but the stupid bint never listened. Sometimes he wondered why he had ever allowed her to live. Her tongue was suddenly in his ear and he remembered why.

Moving her away regretfully, he told her, "Later. Let's get somethin' to eat first."

She complied, still hanging onto his arm.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked excitedly.

He gestured towards the crowd they were shadowing, "Followin' the breadcrumb trail." he smirked.

Eating had become incredibly easy upon his arrival at the university. With so many parties taking place with alcohol, it took little effort to pick up a drunk student and drain them before anyone noticed. It was one of the benefits of having Harmony around actually, she could pass for a college student what with her being the same age as most of the freshmen. He had found he was simply too adult looking to pass scrutiny when he was alone, his punk look not helping matters.

The group of teens seemed to all be heading towards a well lit house already stuffed with occupants and Spike followed, shouldering his way inside.

Despite it being only half past eight, many of the party goers were already clearly drunk, stumbling around and making noise.

"Pick one out." he said to Harmony, wincing as she squealed in his ear.

She disentangled herself from him, moving deeper into the party. Looking around, Spike noticed a table laden with red solo cups. He picked one up as he passed, sniffing the contents curiously. His nose wrinkled at the scent of flat beer but he downed it anyway wishing for something with more fire.

He had just reached for another when Harmony appeared by his side excitedly.

"Find someone?" he asked, leaving his customary 'pet' or luv' off the end of his sentence. For whatever reason, he had never been able to use the terms when referring to her.

"Yes! Come on!" she grabbed his arm and dragged him impatiently into the kitchen area.

Here, only a few people were gathered, most of them glassy eyed from drinking.

"That one." Harmony pointed to a man who was holding his head and groaning.

Spike approached the man and said brightly, "Alex! That you?"

The boy looked up, squinting, "Wrong guy." he mumbled.

Spike shook his head, grasping the other man's arm and pulling him into a hallway, "Oh. My mistake." he said before sinking his fangs into the side of his neck.

He only took a little, knowing he would have to share with the excavation team. Harmony was by his side, slurping hungrily at the man's throat.

"Easy there, don't drain him entirely." Spike said, watching their prey grow more and more ashen.

Harmony relinquished her hold, fangs retracting as she pouted, "Why do we always have to share with the others?" she asked.

"Because I need a well fed team to finish our little project." he said, as he positioned their dinner between them, an arm around his shoulder to drag him out.

He led the way back towards the door, shrugging off most people's questions, "He's just a little drunk. Reckon we take 'im home."

They had nearly escaped when they collided with another couple.

"Oy-" Spike began but cut off, suddenly looking at Buffy and Parker of all people.

'Bloody hell' he thoughts, wondering if he could abandon Harmony and bail.

"Spike. Harmony." Buffy said, sizing the two up.

"Buffy. Hi. What a cute outfit, last year." Harmony smirked.

Spike tried to hit her, hidden by the unconscious student between them. She shot him what she thought was an evil glare. In actuality it reminded him of a grinning horse.

"Well, this is interesting. Sort of a double date." he smirked, getting a chance to study Parker up close.

The boy was weak, even for a human, and that floppy hair was starting to piss him off.

Buffy was scowling, "I think you two should go." she said.

"But the fun's just startin', old friends, lots to drink." he jiggled his dinner.

Floppy Hair was frowning, "Looks like your friend there started the party a little early, huh?"

Spike gave him a derisive look, returning his focus to Buffy, "Say, let's have a look at the new boy. Hmm. I like him. He's got, what's the word, vulnerability." he swiped his tongue over his lip as he said the last word.

Floppy Hair held out his hand, oblivious to the undertones in the conversation, "Hi, I'm Parker."

Spike stared at the hand, wondering if Buffy would throw a fit if he bit it.

"And you, with Harmony. Lose a bet?" Buffy asked, clearly growing tired of the banter.

Ignoring Harmony's protest, Spike decided now would be an excellent time to leave.

"Actually, how we met, funny story, really-" he threw the remains of dinner at Parker and took off, leaving Harmony to Buffy. With any luck, maybe she would get staked.

Vaulting a table, he shoved past party goers, the Slayer on his tail. Bursting out the front door, he took off down the sidewalk, deciding at the last moment to fight a little. He ducked behind a row of bushes, waiting.

Buffy was approaching, her steps wary. Right when he was going to spring, she spun and punched at him. As he had noted earlier, Buffy had once been a good match for him. Sidestepping her blow, he returned with one of his own, moving out into the dim light.

He could sense she was not as strong as she was last year, it had almost been too easy to dodge her. Footsteps echoed and he turns sharply, only to be confronted with an out of breath Harmony.

"Dru dump you again?" Buffy taunted, raising a stake menacingly and lashing out at him.

Once again, dodging is almost too easy, boring even, "Maybe I dumped her." he growled, his next punch just a hair's breadth from her face.

"She left him for a Fungus Demon. It's all he talks about some days." Harmony offered from the back, bouncing on her heels like a child.

"Harm, we're going." he glared at Buffy, "It isn't time yet."

Harmony smirked, "Yeah, but as soon as we have the Gem of Amarra you're gonna be so-" the rest of her sentence dissolved into a wail of pain as Spike grabbed her, a growl rumbling deep in his throat. He began to drag her away, cursing viciously.

"I. Will. Disembowel you!" he snarled, feeling her bones grind beneath his hand.

She squealed in fear as he dropped her unceremoniously down a manhole, he himself taking the ladder. He did not bother helping her up, instead storming through the maze of tunnels, duster flapping at his ankles.

The entire plan was now ruined. Harmony had doused all his hard work in lighter fluid and blown the entire fucking thing up. He lashed out at the wall, punching it hard enough to break one of the cement blocks. This only served to infuriate him more, reminding him of the short fight he had had with the Slayer.

"I need to kill somethin'." he said aloud, punching the wall again for good measure.

He thought about returning to the party and having a bit of a massacre when his thoughts strayed to Floppy Hair.

"Damn ponce, he's ruined a perfectly good Slayer." he snarled, eyes glowing yellow, "Maybe if I kill him, she'll be a little more willing to fight."

He had not meant it but the more he thought about it, the more he enjoyed the image of his hands around the idiot's throat.

Retracing his steps, he climbed out of the manhole he had just disappeared into, forgetting about Harmony. He approached the party, only to see the Slayer and her poof already leaving, the two heading for the university dorms.

Perhaps his return had ruined their night out, the thought made him smirk. Following the couple, he was surprised when they passed the freshmen dormitory, heading to the upperclassmen building.

The two were sandwiched together, laughing and giggling in a way that could only mean… he stopped short.

"Bastard." he muttered.

He had known Floppy Hair was playing Buffy but he had never expected for her to fall for it completely. After all, she saw had always seen through him so easily. Why was Parker any different?

'Because you're a vampire and he's a human,' a bitter voice answered him.

A part of him, the demon, was excited to see her get so hurt, to be destroyed all over again. But the poncy Victorian in him would not allow him to walk away.

"Sod off, William." he growled, frustration raising his temper again.

He watched Parker lean in for a kiss. Buffy's eyes were closed and she failed to see his gaze drift to a group of girls who were walking past.

Well that did it. If there was one thing Spike valued, it was loyalty. In the century he had been with Drusilla, never once had he strayed from her.

Striding over to the still kissing couple, Spike tapped Buffy on the shoulder, stepping back to avoid the punch he knew she would throw.

She whirled, eyes widening and went to hit him, surprised to find him already out of reach.

"What do you want, another round of Kick the Spike?" she asked, furious he was here now, when she and Parker were so close to…

"Hardly." he said dryly, "Though if I remember correctly, you hardly touched me before." his scarred brow arched mockingly.

"Go away." she growled, making him laugh.

"Actually, wanted to talk for a tick. That is if Floppy Hair could spare you." he said, enjoying the confused look Parker was giving him.

"Who's Floppy Hair?" he asked, brushing his bangs back and highlighting Spike's point perfectly.

Even Buffy had noticed, her lips twitching as she tried to withhold a grin.

"I mean you." Spike said, "Now can I speak with the lady?"

Buffy turned to Parker, "Just give me a second okay?" she said.

Parker looked concerned, eyeing Spike, "You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah. It's fine." she said and stepped towards Spike retreating far enough that Parker could not hear the conversation.

"What do you want?" she asked the vampire, glaring at him.

"My my, touchy tonight are we?" he asked, sticking his thumbs in his belt loops.

"Hurry up." she growled, her eyes unconsciously following the motion of his hands.

"Eyes up here luv." he said, noticing her straying gaze.

Her eyes shot back up, a look of confusion and horror written across her face, "I wasn't… whatever it is that you think I was doing." she said sharply, "Now tell me why you felt the need to talk to me, Parker's waiting."

At the mention of the other man, Spike's smirk vanished, his posture become serious, "Floppy Hair, er... Parker I mean. He's playin' you." Gods, had be bludgeoned that.

Buffy stared at him in disbelief, "What?"

"The lad, he just wants to bump uglies with you." Spike said morosely.

"You… you pig!" she snapped, face coloring, "He's not like that!"

"I woulda thought that you'd be more careful 'bout men after Angelus." Spike said, trying to keep calm.

"Don't you dare bring him up! What give you the right?" she was practically radiating killing intent.

"Look, you don't believe me? Fine. I was just doin' you a favor, Slayer." he snapped.

Reaching into his jeans pocket, he withdrew a cigarette and stuck it his mouth as he searched for his lighter. Withdrawing the bit of metal from one of his jacket pockets, he lit the stick and took a long draw, trying to relax.

Buffy had not moved, she was staring at him, brow wrinkled.

He waited a moment, expecting her to talk again. After several seconds of continued silence, he turned and began to walk away, furious with William for getting him into this mess.

"Why?" she called out, making him stop short.

He half-turned, her figured blurred by the smoke rising from the end of the cigarette clasped between his lips.

"Why what?" he asked.

She visibly swallowed, "Why would you 'do me a favor'?" she asked.

"You don't believe me so what's it matter? Maybe this was all part of one of my evil plans, yeah?" he scoffed.

Her body stiffened at the taunt, "Yeah because you know so much about it. How many times did that crazy bitch cheat on you again?"

His face vamped-out, the demon ignoring William's protest. The ground between him and her was covered in a flash, his face suddenly so close to her that he could make out the different colors of her iris.

"Shut the fuck up." he whispered, the lack of yelling scaring her far more than screaming would have.

She jerked away from him, reaching for the stake in her jacket. He was already gone though, tearing into the darkness without a sound. Her eyes scanned the area warily, half expecting him to jump out again.

After a moment, she stowed the stake and returned to Parker, who was talking to a few other students. His posture was relaxed as he addressed the group, most of them female, and Buffy felt a moment of doubt cross her mind as she recalled Spike's words.

'He was just messing with you.' she thought sharply, shaking her head to clear it.

Approaching Parker, she slipped her arm around his, drawing his attention to her.

"Buffy, everything okay?" he asked frowning in concern.

"Everything's peachy!" she said happily, "Are these your friends?" she asked, gesturing to the group of girls he had been talking with.

"Oh yeah kinda. We have some classes together and stuff." he said, "You ready to go?"

He nodded goodbye to the group and walked along with Buffy, continuing on to the dorms.

"You sure you're okay?" he pressed once they were out of earshot of the others.

Buffy smiled, knowing Spike was wrong about him. Parker had been nothing short of kind to her since she met him. She could sense demons, and he was far from one.

She kissed him soundly, smiling softly, "Yeah, I'm okay."

She was totally not okay.

Parker had promised to call her, she had checked her machine every chance she got. Last night had been, well incredible. Not that being with Angel had not been wonderful, but the memory was tainted with the whole soul losing bit. Being with Parker had been easy, uncomplicated.

Until now, that is.

She had had classes all morning so only now was she able to search for him. The cafeteria and his dorm had not yielded any results. Nor had asking any of the people he usually hung out with.

Giles would be furious if he knew she was looking for a boy instead of trying to find out what Spike had wanted with the Gem of Amarra. Then again, he would be equally angry to know she had spoken to the vampire alone, in the middle of the night.

Sighing, she walked by students sitting around tables or on benches goofing off. When had life gotten so complicated? Balancing everything in high school had basically worked, except for the school part… and the social part now that she thought about it. But now in college, she could feel the slaying slipping as well. It was getting harder and harder to beat vampires that in the past were not even a challenge.

Her thoughts went back to her very first week of college and the nest of vampires she had found stealing from students. They had been stupid, nothing compared to Spike or Angel, and still she had nearly lost.

She sighed, deciding to go back to her dorm and check the phone one last time. Even if Parker had not called, she was sure Giles had left a message about the Amarra thing.

Passing through the green area, she came up short when she recognized none other than Parker himself, talking to another girl.

It was like a physical blow, her stomach felt as though someone had punched her. Forcing her feet to move, she walks up to Parker.

"Parker?" she asks hesitantly, trying to keep her face from crumbling.

He turns towards her, unfazed, "Buffy! Buffy Summers, this is Katie Loomis."

She stares in disbelief, Spike's words coming back to her in a rush, "Parker, what's going on?" she asks uncertainly.

He addresses Katie, his tone indicating he finds the interruption bothersome, "Hey, Katie, you're gonna be late for class. I'll catch up, okay?"

Buffy tries to give Parker the benefit of the doubt. It was Spike who had planted all this uncertainty in her. His lies had made her paranoid. Of course she expected Parker to speak with other girls. She had male friends like Oz and Xander after all.

"She's a friend of yours?" she asked.

"Yeah. You'd like her a bunch. So, what's up?" Parker moved away, leading them towards the shade thrown by the side of the science hall.

Everything about this felt wrong, "Well, you, sort of, didn't call. I mean, I understand if you've been busy or sick or something." she finished lamely, giving him every possible excuse she could think of.

Parker seemed bemused, "It's only been a couple of days. You need to talk to me about something?" he asked.

Buffy blinked, the casualness of his tone making her second guess herself. For him to be smiling, either she was overreacting or Spike had been…

"Well, is… is everything… okay?" she asked.

He smiled, a look that lit up his entire face, "Sure it is."

"It is?" she responded, still trying to suppress her misgivings.

"Sure." he nods easily.

Buffy sighed in relief, "Oh. So, do you maybe want to go do something?"

He nods again, gazing at something behind her, "We can do that. Absolutely."

"Great. Tonight?" she asked, relieved that her fears had been unfounded.

She slipped her hand into his, marveling at the warmth she felt radiating from his skin. It had been the only downfall of dating Angel, he was never warm.

"Well, the thing is, I think I'm sort of getting together with some people later."

Her hand fell away.

Spike had found the Gem of Amarra, he'd bloody done it. Now, standing in the sunlight for the first time in over a century, he marveled at the warmth.

"Makes me want to take off my duster." he said aloud, grinning broadly and squinting in the light.

He set off across the campus, keeping an eyes out for anyone blonde. It was not Buffy he saw first, though, but Floppy Hair.

The boy was speaking with another girl cockily. His stomach clenched, he had been right about him all along. He wished the Slayer had bothered to heed his warning last night.

And speaking of the Slayer, there she was watching the ponce flirt shamelessly. She approached the boy, lacking any of her usual vigor. The longer the conversation between the two dragged one, the weaker and weaker she seemed to become.

Spike growled to himself, enraged by the hold the prat seemed to have over the Slayer. She was a warrior, a master of her craft. How dare he make her feel weak or sub par. He had seen her fight, driven by love and loyalty. And he had seen her cry for those same reasons.

He decided he was going to make her remember who she was and unleash the warrior inside, the Gem of Amarra be damned. This would not be a dance, this would be a brawl…

Buffy watched Parker walk away, tears threatening to form in the corners of her eyes. Every time someone got close to her, they would leave. Worse, they took a small part of her with them, a part she could never seem to replace.

"Well that was pathetic." a familiar English voice drawled.

Spinning around sharply, she found herself confronted by Spike… in daylight. He was grinning, human teeth peeking from behind his lips.

She never even saw his first punch.

She felt it though, blood forming in the corner of her mouth as she tried to rise from the ground. A stick lay beside her and she picked it up, wielding it like a stake.

Spike stood over her, laughing, "Surprised to see me?" he asked, ducking around her as she swung the stick.

"Guess you found your gem." she growled, swinging again.

"I did, took a bit more work than I'd expected. Apparently, I collapsed part of a highway." he said proudly.

She lashed out at him again, her blow just missing his face. He returned the favor by punching her soundly in the gut, sending her rolling.

"Didn't take my advice did ya?" he asked, standing over her calmly.

"Shut up." she snarled, leaping back up to her feet and lashing out with her foot, catching him in the knee.

As his leg buckled, Spike smirked, "Finally! I was beginnin' to think your fire was dead."

Her next kick smashed into his face, "What does that mean?" she asked, leaping back as he tried to tackle her.

"Floppy Hair was killing you, you know." he said, dodging her swinging stick, "You were acting weak when he was around."

"No I wasn't!" she grunted, her next punch missing again.

"See? You can't even hit me." he snarled, "We used to be equals, not anymore. Wonder what changed?"

Without warning he had picked her up and tossed her hard towards a glass table. She collided hard, shards of rain spilling around her. Picking herself up, she backed away.

"We were never equals." she said, searching for another weapon.

"Yeah, we were. You used to be a great warrior y'know. When we danced, it felt like magic, nothin' like this bloody brawl." he swore.

Buffy shook her head, keeping herself distanced, "What's the difference whether we brawl or dance or whatever?"

Spike was close to boiling, she could practically feel the heat radiating off of him, "We used to dance, know every move before it happened. It was poetic and proper, the way its supposed to be. Have ya wondered why your fightin' is bloody awful now? It's because you don't care. You're not readin' your opponents. You just blunder in and hope for the best. That's not how this works luv. You're too good for that.

"Right now, you are pathetic, actin' like that ponce was your entire life. Get over it and be who you are meant to be!" he roared, startling her.

"What do you know?" she yelled back, suddenly coming in close and getting a solid hit on his nose.

He stumbled back, the gem protecting him from real damage though, "I know it's not fair, not a bit of it. People like us don't get to choose what we are. It's a curse given to us by the powers that be and it sucks sometimes. But we make the best of it everyday. Cause otherwise there's no point in existin' at all."

His words brought her up short. All this time, she had been trying to understand and move forward but some great weight had not allowed her. And Spike, her enemy, had just summed it all up for her. Why was he always better at reading her than even herself?

He was glaring at her, blue eyes smoldering, she had never noticed his real eye color before… not that there was any reason she should.

Something was growing in her, a small flame kindling deep inside. Until now, she had not even noticed it was gone but now it warmed her entire being, calling to the Slayer inside her.

Spike was coming at her again, right fist cocked. She knew it was a feint, he always started with his dominant hand. Bringing up her right arm, she blocked his blow. Grabbing his shoulder with her other hand, she threw him against the low stone wall that surrounded the tables and chairs.

He hit it hard, blocking her next hit blindly. He managed to keep her at bay with his kicks, not allowing her to get close enough to take his ring. She moved around his feet, managing to grab the back of his duster and pulled him hard, sending his form careening into the paving stones.

Even with the ring, the hit to the back of his head was enough to make his vision go nearly black. By the time it had cleared, he was pinned on his back, Buffy over him with her hand against his ring finger.

He struggled a moment before relenting, "Go on then. Take it. I know you were thinkin' of Captain Forehead the moment you read 'bout it."

"What no evil quip?" she asked, pulling the ring off his unresisting hand slowly.

He shook his head, "Not today. It's enough you got your fire back." he said.

His words unnerved her, "Well, you'll be on fire in about ten seconds." she said as she jerked the ring off.

Whatever response he was about to give was lost in a howl of pain that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. He shoved her off, sprinting for the opened storm drain he had first entered through, duster thrown over his head to protect himself.

Buffy watched him go, not bothering to give chase. His words still bounced around her skull. She looked down at the ring clutched in her grasp, surveying the simple design.

It did not make sense she had it, he was strong enough to fight her off. Yet, when she had threatened to take it, he had simply given in despite knowing what her intentions for it were.

"He...he gave it to me." she said aloud in wonderment, gaze drifting back to the opened storm drain.

She clutched the ring tighter, the edges biting into her hand.

"What the hell is going on?" she said but received no answer, her only companion the birds pecking idly at the ground looking for worms.