Title: Regrets
Rating: K
Author: Ellixer
Pairing: X/G
Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.
Note: just a small chat after the event in The Abyss. Tiny baby ficlet
Virgil is always hesitant to leave, he would much rather stay and flirt. I can tell Xena gets annoyed sometimes, but tolerates it, brushing it off. I think its sweet but I do my best not to acknowledge. It takes some persuading but I manage to get him to leave us, find his own adventures.
Xena and I are left, sitting next to the camp fire saying nothing. I don't know if we'll continue downstream, or head out over the mountains, I just know I do not want to stay here any longer. I'm sure there are more cannibals lurking out there. My body is shivering slightly, but I'm nowhere near as cold as I was before. We've lost or coats to the river and it's not exactly warm.
Xena wraps a fur around me, her arm encircling my waist. I rest my head on her shoulder.
'What is it?' I ask.
'Did you mean what you said about Amphipolis?' Her voice is quiet, hesitant.
'Yes. Of course.' I lift my head to look her directly in the eye.
'It's just that you had a fever and were saying things..' She cuts her own sentence off.
'What did I say?' Her jaw clenches and her body stiffens slightly. I turn fully towards her, but she remains still.
'Hope.' What could I have possibly said? I place my hand on her knee and look at her intently.
'Listen Xena, like you said I was delirious. I'm sure whatever I said I didn't mean it.' She shakes her head slowly.
'No. You meant it.' She breathes in deep. 'It just reminded me how much I've hurt you.' She looks at me, pain in her eyes.
'Xena, that's the past. You did what you had to do.'
'She was just a baby, your baby. I was blinded and didn't see the good that could have come from it.' A lone tear falls. I reach up cupping her face with my hand; her eyes close as she tries to keep from crying.
'Xena…' She looks at me again.
'It's a wrong I cannot right.' Without waiting for me to even speak, she stands, dousing the fire. 'We better get going.' I stand, grabbing her arm to stop her movement.
'Xena, we're past this.' My pleads do nothing for her resolve. She remains still, back to me.
'I wish I could make it up to you, that I never got you on this path in the first place.' She tries to pull away but I refuse to let go.
'I told you, I don't care what the path is as long as I'm with you.' She shakes her head at me. 'And when I die, I want to be wherever you are.' She's refusing to turn, but her head drops, her posture slacks slightly. 'Xena?' Finally she turns with tear filled eyes and looks at me.
'I don't deserve you.'
'Maybe not but you have me.' I try to give her a little grin. Xena sighs and grabs me into a hug.
'I keep nearly losing you, and it gets harder and harder every time.' She is whispering against my forehead, lips always touching my skin. I wrap my arms around her tighter. I don't know how long we'll live or how we'll die. The only thing I can hope is that we die together.