Severus was practicing his trumpet in his office when there was a knock on the door. Madam Pomfrey came rushing in.
"Hagrid's worried there's a dying animal in here." replied Madam Pomfrey.
That encounter left Severus in a rather unfortunate mood that he was extra grumpy in the potions class the next day. Which didn't make it any better when Lucius Malfoy showed up.
"I should probably leave you be. I hear you have a dying animal to attend to." replied Lucius.
"Lucius Malfoy." replied Severus, walking back to his desk.
"So, I hear you're playing the potions bottles now." replied Lucius.
Severus looked at the bottles of potions the students had turned in and swept them all off the desk and into a wastebasket, where they broke and made many small explosions.
"Sometimes." replied Severus. "How's the hair?"
"It's sleek, shiny, and more beautiful than yours ever will be." replied Lucius, giving a hair flip. "I'm the leader of a fancy band playing at the Quidditch World Cup."
"The Quidditch World Cup?" asked Harry quietly in awe.
"I'm living your dreams Severus. The problem is, the band came down with dragon pox and can't do it." replied Lucius. "I was hoping your band could cover for us."
Severus was quiet.
"Ha! I knew it! You don't have a band! Well, I'll let you get back to your lesson plans now." replied Lucius, starting to leave.
"Actually, it just so happens I'm not a potion's teacher, I do have a band, and we're going to play at the Quidditch World Cup!" snapped Severus. "How do you like that pretty boy?"
Lucius stopped and looked back at Severus.
"Well then, good luck on Tuesday." replied Lucius. "I hope the audience brings lots of ibuprofen."
And with that, he walked away.
Severus stood in silence for a moment.
"Professor?" Neville asked warily.
"Pack up your things, class dismissed." replied Severus. "You all pass for today."
"But we still have more than half of the class-" Hermione asked while her eager classmates packed up their ingredients.
"I SAID CLASS DISSMISSED GRANGER." Severus snapped at Hermione.
Hermione quickly packed up her ingredients and followed her classmates of the door.
After the last third year left the room, Severus sighed.
"I need to drum up a band and fast. Ha, drum. Band humor."
"What luck!" Ron exclaimed as he was sitting in the common room with Hermione and Harry. "He didn't even give us homework!"
Hermione was writing something down on a parchment as she quickly picked it up and exited the common room. Ron and Harry followed as she posted the parchment on the bulletin board.
Looking to fulfil your dull school life? Then be part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit the wizarding world and be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know! Not to mention free refreshments! Practice begins tonight at 8:30 sharp in the potion's classroom.
"You're mental if you think anyone's going to come to practice band with Snape." replied Ron.
"Please, he deserves it!"Hermione replied. "Think of all he's done to help others!"
Hermione than walked back to the commons room.
Severus, who was grading essays, heard a loud crash from outside at 8:00 that night.
"Peeves, you better not be-" began Severus before seeing that the noise was being caused by a bushy haired third year, using a hovering charm to bring a box full of instruments down the stairs.
"Sorry for the wait professor. That rental clerk didn't know a oboe from an elbow." replied Hermione.
Severus almost laughed, yet kept giving Hermione a glare as she brought the box inside the classroom and set it on the ground.
"What are you doing out of your common room at this hour?" asked Severus.
"Preparing for your band to show up." replied Hermione, taking out the instruments from the box and setting them around the room. "Where should the percussionists go?"
Severus paused.
"Band?"
Soon enough, half an hour later the potions classroom was full of Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins holding instruments and preparing for the lesson.
"Alright." Severus replied. "Now how many of you know how to play an instrument?"
"Do instruments of torture count?" asked Draco.
"No." replied Severus.
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" asked Goyle.
"No, Goyle, mayonnaise is not an instrument." replied Severus. "Neither is horseradish."
"I can play the flute!" replied Hermione.
"Alright, so no one knows how to play an instrument." replied Severus. "Good thing I have enough talent for you all."
"When do we get the free food?" asked Crabbe.
"Alright. I'm going to play some basic cords." replied Severus, pulling out his trumpet. "You just play them back to me."
Severus played a few notes on his trumpet.
"Brass section, go." replied Severus.
The Ravenclaws may have been the smartest in the room, yet clearly not good at playing instruments.
"Now winds." replied Severus.
The Hufflepuff's weren't much better.
"And the drums." repled Severus.
The Slytherins completely misunderstood and started blowing on their drumsticks, and within five seconds they drumsticks had stuck Severus to the wall by his robes.
"Good thing that didn't kill me." sighed Severus.
"Everyone line up in rows of five." Severus responded.
"Is this the part where we start kicking?" Dean asked.
"No Dean, that's a chorus line." replied Hermione.
"Kicking? I want to do some kicking!" Neville exclaimed and too eagerly kicked and accidentally kicked Romilda Vane.
"WHY I OUGHTA-" shouted Romilda, tackling Neville to the ground. The two rolled on the floor and out the door. A few minutes later, Neville let out a scream. Romilda walked back in, winking at Harry as she resumed her place in line.
Neville limped back in, a trombone stuck on his head.
"To the owner of the Cleansweep, you left you lights on."
To be continued.