Fear: Chapter One
Consternation
"Get up, cadet!" A burly voice yelled towards a fallen body. His voice, menacing; his poise, intimidating, his glare; terrorizing. Not a shred of leniency in his voice, as it was coated in hostility.
"S-Sorry!" A cadet said nervously, as he shakily made his way back to his feet. He gulped when he stood up, before raising his head to face in front of him. He heard laughs and snickers from other cadet's nearby, his shortcomings; comedic, to them.
The commander made his way over to the cadet that was fresh on his feet, and stood directly in front of him; staring dead into his eyes. The cadet was in panic, fear, and paranoia under the commander's gaze... He felt himself gently begin to shake...
He continued to stare daggers at the boy until he lowly spoke up. His tone; threatening...
"Cadet; when I look at you... I see failure. I see a cadet, who is about to shit his pants; and in mere seconds, will die at the hands of a titan. You look like a pathetic, helpless, wasteful, child who is going to die almost immediately. Is this, true?" The commander barked at the petite boy, multiple strands of his saliva colliding with the boy's face. He upheld his deadly gaze, watching the boy shiver under it...
"N-No s-sir!" The cadet replied timidly, realizing how helpless he sounded compared to the confidence in the other cadet's words... He could feel his inside squirm and twist under the gaze of the menacing man in front of him, and he could feel the man taking pleasure in his shortcomings.
The commander let out a small laugh, "Yes, this coming from the pip-squeak who can't speak a single word, without a stutter... Don't worry, you'll be one of the soldiers that survive; I can just, tell." The commander spat sarcastically, causing the boy's frown to deepen. His eyes somewhat dropped their tenacity, as he analyzed the commander's words to be true. He, was...weak...
The commander shook his head, before he suddenly; spat, on the petite blonde hair boy's face. The blonde hair boy jumped with wide eyes, as the saliva collided with his skin, and his realization of what had just happened; surfaced... The commander gave a small sinister smile, before he turned away from the boy and began to walk to the next cadet...
The blonde haired boy frowned, as his eyes lost any small quantity of pride or dignity that they once had. The boy's eyes were now filled with sorrow of his own weaknesses... He gently raised his hand to wipe off the spit, when suddenly...
"Don't even think about it, cadet." A voice yelled, the blonde haired boy turned his head hastily to the culprit of the voice. He saw the commander, standing in front of another cadet... Yet, his gaze was still focused harshly upon the petite blonde boy...
"I want that saliva to dry, on your face. To make you realize, what you really are. If I see you try to wipe it away, you will lose meal privileges for a week. And it will give me even more temptation, to beat you senseless." The commander threatened, making the blonde boy wince. The petite boy lowered his hand nervously, as he reclaimed his timid posture.
The commander smirked, "Good." He spat out lowly, as he then turned to face the next cadet. The blonde boy stared at the floor in dolor.
He had known he was weak... But it never helped it any type of way, when people shoved it down his throat...
The petite blonde cadet, was none other; than Armin Arlert. A small boy from Shiganshina, accompanied by his friends, Eren, and Mikasa.
Unfortunately, however; the three recently were split up in training... Leaving each, to fend for themselves...
Armin had known that it was going to be rough... No, not rough... Brutal...
But he still held high hopes for the three, each; becoming succesful members of the military, and helping to lead the attack on the superhuman titans.
He always followed Eren, through nearly everything; as the two always had each other's backs. Though, to Armin; it felt as if Eren and Mikasa did all of the heavy-lifting in their friendship... As Armin felt perpetually useless, as he felt he was a truly worthless friend...
He remembered all the times where he was weak, disposable, and too afraid to even try to fight back... Yet, Eren or Mikasa were always willing to selflessly, fight his battles for him...
He truly wished that he could do something in repayment for Eren's acts of kindness... But, felt as if nothing he said, nor gave was even worth anybody's time nor patience...
He now, was almost desperate; to repay his friends... He needed to prove something; anything, for somebody to know that he always remembered and cared about what they had done for him...
He was willing to follow Eren or Mikasa into the military; and if the time came, sacrifice himself for his friends ability to continue their own lives. He knew the dangers they faced against the titans, but he felt that within him; he could at least hopefully make the slightest difference...
Even if he was just a body, for another titan to consume; he was willing to do it... Of course, he was and is scared; but he felt that he really had no other purpose in his life...
The remaining populations of humanity were terrified of titans, and rightly so. And he felt, not only to pay his debt to friends, but to all the previous sacrifices that humanity had made...
He needed to prove, that though he did tremble; there was bravery located under all of this weakness... He wanted to prove it to everybody, his friends; those who doubted him; and his family... He knew that it wasn't going to be a trivial task.
So, he now stood here; along with many other cadets, many in which will die. And his mind, pointed the overwhelming doubt within him, that he indeed, was going to be one of the cadets that died.
But that didn't matter; his life didn't matter, he just wanted to make sure his friends were safe... As they as they were alright, he could die happily...
He however, still felt so damned weak... As if even if he did try, that it would prove to be utterly futile. He hoped, that with training; he could feel somewhat of worth... But he never held much confidence within himself for such hopes...
He had watched the other cadets around here, do average, or do exquisite. Proving their worth, within the military. Armin, however, through all of his tireless effort, came up short on nearly everything...
He prayed that it would get easier; that he could muster some hidden strength, but this never came...
Training was brutal, the weather was scorching; the lessons were severe; and the cadets around him were nearly never willing to instruct him, or practice with him...
Though, they would practice and train with other cadets; they would constantly avoid Armin as nearly everybody figured he was a lost cause... An annoying insect, that was never going to amount to anything... A rookie that was going to die fresh out of the gates...
Armin continued to try and practice, and train by himself; even if he was doing all the techniques incorrectly, he still tried. He put all of his effort into each and every technique, yet he still failed on each of the techniques; despite numerous attempts.
The commander too, knew of the boy's shortcomings. He used Armin as a punching bag, as a way to motivate other cadets, who would actually prove to be succesful in their military career...
Armin tried his best to ignore all of these negative factors... But... When the boy was alone, he felt each, and every one of them resurface... His stifled sobs and cries were ridiculed by other cadets, and upon finding out; the commander himself too.
He couldn't help it... He felt, so... pathetic...
As if his life were nothing... A fickle hope, but nothing to depend on...
He now stood here; confidence vanished, hope lost, and his will, nearly decimated; but...
He was willing to at least... try... and at least give his remaining effort... to help the world... To help mankind... To help...
His friends...
To Be Continued...
Hey all! :) I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this, and am looking forward to the continuation of this story! ^_^ So, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks again for reading! I really appreciate it! :)
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