Japan x Suicidal!Reader: Saving Me

Warning: Triggers, (slight) blood, language, suicide attempt. Don't like don't read.

You are kneeling in the floor of your the bathroom in your childhood home. The cool tile floor chills your pale skin. The rain outside seems appropriate for tonights activities A blade and a note are on the counter in front of you. Your cell phone buzzes on the floor nearby.

Incoming call: Kiku Honda, and your favorite picture of you and him display on the screen. You really don't want to talk to him. It would just complicate everything, and make you change your mind. In reality you didn't want to do this, but you knew you had to, the pain had to end. To be truthful you knew your loving boyfriend of two years didn't deserve the one word text message you sent him for a goodbye. He was always so sweet and understanding, you knew he truly loved you even if he didn't show it 's why when he called for the second time you picked up on the first ring and fought back the tears that had already began falling.

"... Hello?"

"~ Goodbye? What the herr do you mean goodbye?~"

"I'm sorry Kiku, I love you. I really do, but tonight is the last night."

"~ The rast night of what _? Rast night of what?~"

"I'm sorry. I love you."

"~_! _ wait!~"

The phone slips from your hand as you rise and move towards the sink. You hear him screaming your name through the phone in vain, then the door down stairs crashes open. The blade is in your hand now, sliding slowly down the length of your arm, from your elbow to the scars that lined your wrist. You hear Kiku yell your name again. He sounds like he is just down stairs.

"_! _!"

He is.

He run's up the stairs and tears open the bathroom door. Ripping the blade from your hands throwing it back into the bloody sink he cut himself in the process. He grabs your arms and clutches you to his chest in a forceful hug. "Oh God _, never ever scare me rike that again. I thought I almost rost you. Don't scare me rike that." Both of you are sobbing now. The rain outside picks up as he held you close, mumbling comforting words to you and running his hand through your (h/c) locks.

"I'm sorry Kiku. I'm so sorry." The incision on your arm was less than an inch, all though had he been a few seconds later….. "Don't say anything. There is no way you are staying in this house another minute." He effortlessly picks up your small frames and carries you outside, carefully placing you in the passengers seat of his truck.

The ride to his house is long and silent. the only sound is the rain falling outside. You are almost there when he speaks. "How's your arm?" the blood had mostly stopped but it still looked pretty bad. "Not bad how's your hand?" He looks over at you and laughs. "Onry you would be worried about me after what just happened." He kisses you on the forehead. "Don't worry about me_."

The truck pulls up in the driveway a few minutes later. "Kiku, how did you make it to my house so fast? It's a 20 minute dive from here." "I ran to my car the second I got the text, and I was going 60 the entire time. You really scared me _." He carries you inside the house and up to his room. He tosses a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants at you. "Get changed and I'll go get the first aid kit." he leaves the room and you put on his clothes, they're big on you but sure are comfy.

He walks back into the room and begins wrapping your arm. When he is done he sees the cuts along your wrist, he brings his lips down and kisses every single scar and cut. Your face is blushing bright red by the time he's done. He rarely ever kissed you or held you close like he had been this entire night, he must really have been scared of loosing you. Tears pricked at your eyes 'I could have died tonight….' the very thought hits you full force taking your breath away.

"Are you... mad at me _-chan?"

"Kiku, how could I be mad at you? You just saved my life."

"Because I didn't save you before. You were there, in that room, wishing for death. I'm your boyfriend I should have noticed that you were in pain, that something was wrong. I should have been there to protect you, to rove you, to herp you. I'm sorry _-chan."

"I'm not mad at you. You couldn't ever tell I was sad because when I was with you nothing was ever wrong. With you I could smile, laugh and be myself, this issue has been building for years going back to before I even met you. You just delayed the inevitable, sure when I was with you everything was fine but when I was away from you I just fell apart. Everything my family, school, work were stressing me out. The anxiety attacks were getting worse. I was taking the pills the doctors gave me like I was a fucking drug addict! I wasn't living I was just barely surviving, I couldn't take it anymore! Everybody was acting like there was something wrong with me and I was my fault like I had control over all of this and could make it stop at any point. but I can't I'm completely helples..."

His lips crash on top of yours at thunder and lightning cracks outside the window. He pushes you down so that you are laying under him. "_ _ _, you are mine and I rove you. I wish I could have been able to help you then and I am sorry I wasn't. I want to hurt everyone who made you feel so helpless, who made you feel like death was the only option. I'm sorry for what you've been through but I promise I'll protect you from now on." He growled possessively.

His lips hit yours again and left you gasping for breath. He leaned down till your foreheads touched.

"I love you _,"

"I love you too Kiku. Thank you for saving me…"

from myself.