Author's Note: So I'm playing catch-up. Again. Still. This was actually completed weeks ago, but then my Muse took off for places unknown, and work got chaotic. Real Life, I've decided, is No Fun...at all. But, new job, less stress, and my Muse is starting to whisper again. It feels good to be writing, and posting again.
Author's Note #2: HUGE thanks to both Riathe Mai for all her editing, wisdom, and answers, and to LoveThemWinchesters for her encouragement and having the ability to come up with about a dozen title ideas less than a minute after I sent her the email. Credit goes to her for the title.
This is set S9, between "Stairway To Heaven" and "Do You Believe In Miracles," so spoilers up to and including those episodes.
ooOOoo
"You think I don't know? That I don't get it? Remember that feeling…that—"
"—Sam!"
It's a clear warning; 'leave me alone', 'drop it', and 'back the Hell off' all rolled into the low growl of my name.
His face contorts in anger, knuckles clinched white at his sides; muscles coiled—vibrating—ready, needing, to strike.
"No!" I grab his retreating shoulder, desperation…sheer panic…race through me with the need to keep him here, with me, at any cost.
The breath is knocked from my lungs. My back slams against the Bunker door at Dean's sudden—and unseen—lunge, vision wavering as my head bounces off unforgiving iron. The forearm pressed against my chest allows me just enough of a small breath, and I look into eyes simmering with needs and emotions I recognize all too well.
"You're jonesing for another hit," I snap, fear-induced anger overpowering the understanding and sympathy of my original plan, "craving that rush. That power that scares the Hell out of you, that's controlling you…changing you…but you don't give a damn 'cuz you want more."
"I'm not gonna let it get that far." His smile is more of a sneer, his next words hot against my ear. "I can handle it."
"Slippery slope, brother."
The blow I've been bracing for takes me down anyway, hard and fast.
The Mark of Cain, blazing red hot beneath flannel, the last thing I see before darkness takes me.