I can't even unbreak my heart...
Dust settled around me, the ringing in my ears began to subside and light started to appear again. I tried to move. It hurt like hell. I swore to myself "fuck! This was not how I planned on spending my Friday night!"
A couple of weeks earlier...
I woke up with my legs wrapped around Morelli. Bob was laid out at the end of the bed. I stretched and caught the twinkle of the engagement ring on my finger. Morelli woke up and taking my hand in his, kissed the ring and then trailed kisses all the way up my arm and neck to my mouth.
"Cupcake. I love you"
"Love you to Joe"
"Gotta get up for work now"
I untangled myself from him and let him head to the shower before stripping off and following him in. What followed was a hot, wet and soapy 25 minutes.
I stood up from where I'd been kneeling in front of him in the shower and he held me close to him before wrapping us both in a towel.
We got dressed and headed downstairs. Joe put coffee on and toast in the toaster. I let Bob out to do his business and then gave him his bowl of food whilst we sat and ate. I was putting the bowls in the sink when Joe came up behind me.
"I'm so glad you said yes Steph"
"Me to" I said as I turned to face him.
He kissed me hard and deep and headed out the door. A few seconds later he came back in and said
"Don't forgot I'm on an all-nighter tonight. I'll be back for lunch before I head back out if you can get away"
"Yeah. I should be able to. It's a pretty quiet day at the office today. Just the standard searches"
"Great. See you later cupcake"
"Bye Joe"
And with that, he was out the front door again. Off to stop Trenton's murderers. He'd been made head of homicide recently and was handling my job alot better since I stopped running around after skips and went full time as a researcher at Rangeman. I was pretty sure he'd rather I just stopped working completely and become a house wife but we both knew that wasn't going to happen. Me and Ranger still had a slightly complicated relationship but he respected my space and I appreciated him even more for it.
I let Bob out again quickly in case he needed a tinkle before heading out to my car, which I'd had for 9 months now without blowing it up. Mostly because it was a Rangeman fleet vehicle and was more like a tank than a car, and since I wasn't driving it on to Stark Street anymore, no one had really tried to do anything with it. Plus, when it's parked outside the front of a cop's house, no one was that stupid. Well, not recently anyway!
I checked myself in the mirror of the car. Black Rangeman top, black cargo pants, black boots, gun loaded. I was good to go.
I turned the key in the ignition, cranked up the radio and headed over to Haywood. Every so often, the early morning sun caught the diamond that was now sitting on my wedding finger and I smiled. I had no idea how Ranger was going to take it, but I hoped he'd be happy for me.
Joe had taken me out for dinner on Friday night and popped the question at the end of dessert. We'd spent the weekend together in bliss. But now it was time to tackle the week.
I pulled into the Rangeman garage, parked the car in my spot and headed upstairs to 5th and set my bag down in my cubby, which was just the other side of the comms desk. I headed to the kitchen and was grabbing a coffee when Tank came in.
"Hey little girl"
"Hey Tank. How's all?"
I turned to him with my mug in my hand. Before he answered he spotted the diamond glinting off my finger.
"So the cop finally put a ring on it huh?"
I smiled. "Yeah he did"
Tank drew me in to a hug.
"Congratulations Bomber. I'm happy for you. I know it's been good with you two for a while"
"Yeah. Guess we finally got our shit together"
"Has boss seen this?"
"No. I haven't seen him yet. Do you think he'll be ok?"
"He'll be devastated. But hey, he should have done it first so he can't do anything apart from know he was an idiot when it came to you"
"Thanks. I guess"
"Don't worry Bomber. He'll be ok. You just think about yourself k? The rest of the guys will be really happy for you"
"Hope so"
"Come on. We'll go back in together"
We headed through to the comms room.
"Guys. Listen up. Steph has an announcement to make"
My face flushed bright red.
"Tank. What the hell?!"
"Hey. You might as well tell them all while they're all here!"
"You're right. Guys. Me and Joe got engaged on Friday"
Within seconds I was enveloped in a chorus of congratulations followed by hugs and kisses, then the atmosphere changed and I knew Ranger had come in to the room without even turning around. I took a deep breath and turned to him.
"Babe"
"Ranger"
He took my hand in his, staring at the bright blue diamond sitting in a white diamond setting on top of a band of white gold.
"Happy for you babe. You deserve it"
Part of me was hurt he wasn't raging angry, or that he didn't make some quick-witted comment about if the ring ever came off.
"Thanks Ranger."
A gentle smile came across his face before he handed me my files for the day.
"What are you doing tonight?"
"Not a lot. Joe is on an all-nighter to try and help track down that serial Arsonist. The whole department is on it. So, I was just gonna snuggle down with bob and watch ghostbusters for the 4 millionth time!"
"In which case, I'll get some drinks in. We'll have a little engagement party for you. If you'd like?"
"That's really kind of you Ranger. I'd love that. Thank you"
"No problem Ba..Steph"
"You don't have to stop calling me babe Ranger"
"Doesn't seem right to call another man's woman babe"
"Well I don't mind"
"Ok babe"
"Much better. Better go get started on these files"
"Yeah. We've got a security round this morning so I'm heading out but we'll be on comms as normal"
"Okey dokey" I said, giving him a little salute.
I headed back to my cubby, feeling a little unsure of what to feel about how Ranger had reacted. He seemed genuinely happy for me but I had no idea how he would be away from me. I stared at my screen for a minute before shaking it off. Tank was right. I only had to think about myself now. And I was happy things had finally worked out with me and Joe. I loved Ranger and a small part of me would always wonder what life would be like if he'd just been honest about how he felt but he just kept sending me back to Morelli. So, I guess he only had himself to blame on however he felt about it.
The morning went by without a hitch. I had gone home for lunch (and a quicky!) with Joe and come back safe and sound to see out the rest of my shift.
We were now all gathered in the break room. The guys had arranged for a 'Congratulations' banner to be put up with some balloons and Ranger had ordered in several bottles of champagne. Cal was on a night shift so offered to drive me back to Joe's.
The evening had been really lovely and as far as I could tell Ranger was actually really happy for me. The confirmation of that came in the form of a card and a small key fob that had SP+JM engraved into it with Friday's date. It was beautiful and I was truly touched by it.
We all finished our drinks and I waved everyone off as me and Cal pulled out of the garage and headed back to mine.
"Thanks for driving me Cal"
"No problem Bomber. Couldn't have you not enjoying yourself this evening"
"You think Ranger is really ok?"
"I don't know angel, but he'll have to be. He has no right to be sad"
"Yeah. I guess your right"
"Are you happy?"
The question took me off guard.
"Yeah. Of course. I wouldn't have said yes if I wasn't. Between you and me, part of me will always be sad at what could have been but I can't think like that"
"No. You can't"
We pulled up outside Joe's and with a quick kiss on the cheek and a last Congratulations from Cal, I jumped out of the car and let myself in to the house. Before I had the door fully opened Bob bounded out to tinkle. He did his business in the front yard and I let him sniff around a little. I was trying to get him in to the house when a car backfired at the top of the street and spooked him. He ran off into the road and in what felt like slow motion the car that had backfired came speeding down the street and caught Bob side on.
I screamed his name and ran into the street. The car that hit him came to a sharp stop and the driver came running back to me.
"Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I don't know what's going on with my car tonight! I put my foot on the break but it accelerated. I was trying to slow down but nothing happened"
"Stop talking and help me. I need to get him to a vet" I stood up for a second and the guy was still babbling on about how sorry he was when I was confronted with the overwhelming smell of alcohol. Nothing was wrong with his car. He was off his face drunk. And I was raging.
"You're drunk for God's sake! What the hell is wrong with you?! What if that had been a child you hit?! Go and sit on the curb. My fiancé is TPD, so I'm calling him now"
I shouldn't have said that really because he took off running, leaving me in the street cradling bob in my arms. He was whimpering in pain and I could see his back leg was broken since it was sticking out at a weird angle.
I took out my phone and called Joe.
"Hello Joe's phone?" Was the answer. In a voice so jingly I thought Barbie had answered.
"Who are you?"
"Tiffany. I'm Joe's girlfriend"
I went into full rhino mode.
"Get the fuck off my fiancé's phone and let me speak to him. NOW!"
"You don't have to be so rude"
You haven't seen anything yet I thought. We'd barely been engaged 48 hours and he was already off fucking someone else. I should have known better.
"Hello?"
"Joe. I'm going to pretend Malibu Barbie didn't just answer the phone claiming to be your girlfriend when you told me you were at work, and skip straight to the fact that I am sitting in the street cradling your dog. He's been hit by a car and I need help"
"Cupcake. She's not my girlfriend...I"
"I don't fucking need explanations Joe, I need help. Cal dropped me off tonight so I don't have any way of dealing with this right now"
"Steph. I can't. I..."
"You're fucking unbelievable" I screamed down the phone before dropping the call.
"I'll be right back boy. Just stay there"
I ran to the nearest neighbour's house with lights on and knocked on the door. Mr Clarkson answered.
"Stephanie. Is everything OK? "
By this point I was practically in tears with frustration, anger and grief.
"Bob has been hit by a car. I don't have mine with me and Joe is at work. Can you help me get him to a vet?"
"Oh no. Of course. Let me grab my keys and some blankets"
He came back a few minutes later and helped me load bob into the back seat before speeding off to the vet.
"Are you ok dear?"
"I'm ok. I'm just worried about bob is all"
"I'm sure he'll be ok"
"I hope so"
We pulled up at the vet and Mr Clarkson helped me carry Bob in as I shouted that I needed help.
A couple of Vet techs came running out and asked me what happened. I quickly explained and they wheeled him off into the back to be looked at.
"Just wait out here Miss. we'll be back out soon to let you know how he is"
"Uhmm. OK"
I took a seat in the waiting area.
"Do you want me to wait with you dear?" Mr Clarkson asked.
"Oh no. I'm ok. I'm just going to call a friend to come and sit with me. I don't know how long I'll be and it's getting late. Get yourself home. Thank you so much for bringing me"
"No problem. I hope Bob is OK"
"Thank you Mr Clarkson"
He headed back out to his car and left me sitting in the waiting area. I called Mary Lou.
"Hey girly. What's up?"
"Everything Mary Lou" I hiccupped "Bob got hit by a car, Joe is already off fucking some other woman before I could even get used to having his ring on my finger and I don't have a car. I'm at the vets. Can you come and sit with me?"
"Oh my god Stephie. The kids are in bed and Lenny is here so I'm on my way. I'll be as quick as I can"
"Thanks Mare. You're the best"
"Of course I am!"
I smiled to myself and shut off the phone. Mary Lou had been my best friend for pretty much my entire life and had always been there whenever I needed her.
She bustled in about 20 minutes later and I burst in to tears before she even got to me.
"Oh Stephie. Please don't cry"
She held me for what seemed like an eternity until I was nothing but a snotty mess. She pulled out a baby wipe from her bag and cleaned up my face for me. I leaned my head against her shoulder and we sat like that for ages until the vet finally came out.
"Stephanie. Can you come through?"
I didn't say anything, I just got up and followed him through. Mary Lou was right behind me with my hand in hers.
"Take a seat"
"Is it bad?"
"He has a broken left hind leg and cuts and abrasions. There's also a small crack just at the top of his tail. We've put a cast on. He's going to have to stay in overnight but you should be OK to collect him in the morning"
I sighed. "Thanks"
"No problem. I'll see you tomorrow"
I got up and followed Mary Lou out to her car. We sat in a silence for a few minutes before she drove off. Things stayed silent until she couldn't hold the question any longer.
"What happened Steph?"
"The guys at work held an impromptu engagement party for me so Cal drove me home since I'd had a few glasses of champagne. I opened the front door and Bob did his business in the front yard. But then some idiot drunk driver whose car is probably still in the street spooked him with a backfire and he ran straight out into the road where he got hit. I tried to get the driver to stay but he ran. I called Joe and some bimbo called Tiffany answered and said she was his girlfriend. I tried to get him to come home anyway and he just insisted he couldn't leave. I feel so lost Mare"
"Oh hun, I'm so sorry. Do you want to stay at mine tonight? I can roll out the sofa bed"
"Thank you. But no. Cal is picking me up in my car tomorrow so I'll need to be there. I guess I'll just message him to come get me early. Plus, I guess I need to pack up as much stuff as possible. I'll take one of the spare apartments at Haywood tomorrow and figure it out from there"
"What about Ranger?"
"What about him? I just need space to sort my head out. I know he'll respect that"
"I think that's the right idea. I'm sorry this has happened again Steph. At least you didn't get round to marrying him yet"
"Ain't that the truth"
"I'm always here for you Stephie"
"Thanks Mare. Love you"
"Love you to"
We pulled up outside Morelli's and with one last hug, I got out of the car and let myself into the house, thankful that it was dark and quiet. It was late and I felt like I'd had the longest day ever but I had to pack as much as I could. I pulled my biggest suitcase out of the closet and packed all my clothes, using t-shirts to wrap my ornaments and pictures up, before packing them as well. I sorted out all my toiletries and put them in an overnight bag. I hadn't really got much else. Morelli had all the kitchen stuff we needed and there was only one DVD of mine and that was Ghostbusters. I made sure that was packed as well and that was it. I'd sold all my furniture and my TV when I moved in with Morelli about 5 months ago. I would pick Rex up in the morning before I left.
I stripped off and cried my eyes out in the shower, scrubbing myself over and over feeling like it would take away some of what I was feeling. It didn't, but it did leave me with red raw skin which I knew would sting tomorrow. I shoved a baggy t-shirt on and some shorts and crawled in to bed. In the possibility that Morelli might come home in the early hours, I took my gun to bed with me.
I lay in bed exhausted and broken. I'd deal with the fall out tomorrow but right now I just wanted to curl into a ball and have the world swallow me up. Every time he said he loved me, every time he told me how much he couldn't wait to marry me, everything he said. It was all lies and I'd fallen for it. I thunked my head against the pillow a few times. I knew I needed to sleep but it wasn't happening. So I just lay under the covers waiting for Joe to come in. I must have finally drifted off since the next thing I heard was the front door opening. It was 7am.
I listened to the sound of his shoes hitting the shoe rack in the hall. I heard his keys and his wallet hit the kitchen table. I heard the television go on and then go off again. I heard the stairs creak as he made his way upstairs. I sat up in the dark.
The bedroom door opened and before he took another step I spoke.
"Take another step into the room and I swear to god I will shoot you dead"
"Oh come on Cupcake, you wouldn't do that"
I cocked the gun and aimed it at him just as he turned the bedroom light on. I watched the colour drain from his face.
"Try me"
"Cupcake. Steph. She's not my girlfriend. It was just part of the investigation. It meant nothing"
I steadied my aim but I shook with anger.
"Do not try and explain yourself Joe. You finally got everything you wanted and you've thrown it all away. So, like I said. Take another step and I will shoot you. No hesitation"
I could hear the coldness in my voice. I was clearly channelling my anger but inside I was shaking and I felt sick. I continued to breath heavily with my gun trained on his chest whilst I watched him mentally weigh up his options.
"Fine. We'll talk later. . You're clearly angry and I get that. But you'll calm down and you'll let me explain"
"We will not talk later Joe. I will talk now and you will listen. You are going to go and wait in the kitchen whilst I get my things together. I messaged Cal last night to come and pick me up at 7.45. Everything is already packed and the vet bill is on the table. You can pay that when you go and collect Bob later on. I'm going to leave with Cal and I will not be coming back. We will not be talking. We will not be seeing each other again. We are done"
He obviously got the hint as he just turned around and went downstairs. I had to hold it together for just a little while longer so I got up, went to the bathroom, grabbed the last of my things before shoving them in my bag. After getting dressed quickly, I calmly took off the ring and choking back tears, left it on top of the chest before going downstairs. I picked up my suitcase and Rex, opened the front door, stepped outside and shut it behind me.
Cal would be here in 5 minutes. I could hear Joe shouting and swearing inside. I flinched as I heard things breaking. I closed my eyes and tried to block out the sound. Cal arrived just as something hit the closed door behind me. He must have seen the look in my eyes because before I even knew what was happening all my things were loaded in the car and we drove off.
The car stopped a few minutes later. I looked up. Cal had pulled over. I turned to look at him and I fell apart. I jumped out of the car and threw up. Cal passed me a bottle of water and helped me back into the car. He sat silently whilst I cried again.
My crying slowed to a hiccup and he finally spoke.
"Sorry"
"What the hell happened Bomber?"
"Joseph Morelli happened. Bob ran out into the road last night after you left and got hit by a car. I called Joe to come help and some bitch answered and when I asked who she was, she said she was Joe's girlfriend. He tried to explain it away by telling me she was just part of the investigation but I told him if he came near me I'd shoot him"
"Not if I get to him first. What are you going to do?"
"Jason's apartment on 4 has been empty since he transferred to Boston so I'm gonna take that for a while until I work something out. I just need my space for a bit"
"Well we're all here for you Bomber. Don't forget that. We're all capable of making murder look like an accident"
"Thanks. But you know what Cal. He's not worth your time. Or mine. I just feel so stupid that I finally thought he'd changed. My mother was so happy when I called her. She'll blame me for this no doubt"
"You don't need to worry about her at the moment. Just focus on yourself for a bit. I'm sure boss man would let you take a few days"
"I'd rather work to be honest. It'll keep my mind off things. Maybe I'll call the girls and organise a night out. I hear that new club is supposed to be amazing"
"Darkness? Yeah, it is. Rangeman are running the security for it so me and Lester had the perfect excuse to go for a night out last week. It's bangin'"
"Good to know. Can we head over to Haywood now? I wanna get unpacked and stuff. I'm not on shift till later so I've got some time to myself"
"Sure thing"
We drove in comfortable silence and Cal helped me with my bags up to the 6th floor apartment. He handed me my car keys back before leaving me to it. The door shut and I noticed the key fob Ranger had given me as an engagement present. It was so lovely but I couldn't keep it on there anymore.
After I unpacked everything, I took it off my car keys and placed it in the bottom of my jewellery box.
Once everything had a place and Rex was sitting on the kitchen counter I went and lay down on the sofa. I couldn't cry any more. I was exhausted and just felt empty. I stared into space for what felt like an age when there was a knock at the door.
"Come in"
It was Hector. Mi Hermano.
He didn't say anything. He just came and sat with me and held me. After a while he let go and left. He was a man of few words but he always knew exactly what I needed and I smiled at the thought.
I took a deep breath and got up. Things aren't that bad. I had a roof over my head, friends that loved me and I still had my job. Then why did I feel so lost? I guess after what Dicky put me through I never thought a man could hurt me that way again. But Joe managed. We'd known each other our whole lives and now I didn't even know if I could ever bring myself to look at him again. What hurt the most was that he'd disrespected me as a friend as well as a girlfriend. He'd lied. There was no trust left any more. The only way I'd feel better was to try and fix my broken heart. But for now, I needed to go to work.
I made my way down to the comms room and was immediately confronted with offers to kill Morelli or to ship him off to some far-flung country...or both. I loved my guys. They really knew how to make me feel better.
I flung myself in to work and was in the middle of searches when my phone buzzed. It was Mary Lou.
"you up for a night out? Darkness?
"you know me so well! I was going to suggest the same thing! I'll ask Connie and Lula as well"
"Great! We'll set a date! "
"can't wait"
I smiled at the thought of a night out. A chance to just let my hair down.
Between work schedules and child care, the first date we could all do was 4 weeks away on Friday. I didn't mind waiting though. It would be worth it.
Ranger came over to see me at lunch.
"Babe. I'm sorry about Morelli. I know how happy you were. If you need any time off, let me know?"
"Thanks Ranger. I really appreciate that. But I'll be OK. Just have to work on unbreaking my heart I guess"
He gave me a hug that seemed to press every inch of his against him and I tried not to cry.
"Babe. You'll be ok. I promise"
I smiled up at him with the best smile I could muster but a small tear fell down my cheek. He brushed it off and kissed me on the forehead before leaving me alone.
I stood for a moment and shook off the feeling I'd been left with which was to jump straight in to Rangers bed. That was a bad idea. I needed time.
I clock watched for the rest of the afternoon. It was a quiet shift but it had given me time to think. I walked over to Tank who was sitting at the control bank.
"Hey little girl. You done for the day?"
"Yeah. Just gonna chill out tonight with a pizza and Netflix"
"Sounds like the perfect plan"
"Tank. Can I ask you something? A favour?"
"Sure. Anything."
"Do you think you could train me? Like really train me? Now that Morelli has no right to lose sleep over what I do with my life, I wanna get back in the field"
"Of course I can. The other guys can help as well! Proud of you Bomber! Glad to have you back!"
I smiled and guessed I knew what he meant. I'd scaled back my job to make things work with Joe. And for what? He hadn't changed at all. So it was about time I made myself good at what I loved and I knew now that the guys would be behind me all the way.
"Thanks Tank"
"I'll get a schedule put together and we can start tomorrow"
"Sounds great!"
I left him and made my way back up to my apartment. It was nice to be home within a few minutes of leaving my desk.
Morelli still hadn't called and I was glad. I couldn't face him right now.
I ordered a pizza and pulled out the bottle of tequila I'd stolen from Morelli's fridge when I packed up. Ha! That'll show him!
I spent the evening eating and drinking and listening to angry girl music in my trashy pj's. I danced around and kicked my legs out and jumped on the bed with a hairbrush in my hand. Once the tequila was finished and I'd used up all my energy I collapsed onto the bed.
I fell asleep pretty quickly but woke up with a shot two hours later when the tequila made itself known again.
Once I'd gotten it all out of my system, I brushed my teeth and went back to bed. I knew Tank would want me up early so I needed to sleep. But I was awake now so that was it. My brain went off on one and I was still awake when Tank called in on me at 6.30am.
"Bomber. What the hell happened last night? You look like death"
I hadn't actually looked in the mirror, and my hand automatically went to my head. I cringed as I realised my tamed curls from yesterday were now a rat's nest and I hadn't taken my makeup off so I figured it was probably smeared. I'd had no sleep either.
"Tequila. And no sleep. Once I finished throwing up I couldn't get back to sleep again. I've been awake since 2am"
"Bomber" he wrapped me into a hug.
"Look. Go get a shower and sort your hair out. I'll wait and figure out what to do with you this morning"
"Thanks Tank"
I showered in double quick time, desperately trying to ignore the hammering in my head, got dressed into shorts, a tank top and laced up my trainers. Since working for Rangeman part of my contract was to work out in the gym a minimum of three days a week so I knew I was in fairly good shape and I'd gotten pretty good with my gun. I wasn't worried about those bits. It was everything else he might have planned.
I took a deep breath "I'm ready"
"Great. Let's go" he noticed the scratches on my arms and chest. They didn't sting anymore but they were still obvious. His eyes darkened with rage.
"Did he do this to you?"
"No. I did it to myself. I. I was trying to scrub him off me. It didn't work" I explained, looking down at my shoes as I spoke.
I finally looked up at him and all I saw was care in his eyes. He didn't say anything, just signalled to get going.
We headed down to the garage and jumped into Tank's car. I had no idea where we were going and I didn't ask.
We stopped at the end of the street and got out.
"We going for a run?"
"Yeah. But it's not a long one. Just to the end of the road and turn left"
"Ermm. Ok"
I was a little unsure of what his plan was but I rolled with it.
We took it at a good pace but by the time I turned the corner I'd hardly broken a sweat.
"Now we walk"
"Like HIIT training?"
"Yeah. Like that" he said with a smirk on his face.
We walked for another 50 metres or so and turned the corner. We were going to McDonalds.
"Tank? I thought you were training me?"
"I am. First lesson. Self-care"
"McDonalds isn't exactly caring!"
"It is today. You need it. Don't worry. I won't tell Ranger"
I smiled at him. "Thanks Tank"
We sat in silence whilst I devoured a breakfast muffin, fries and a large coke.
Feeling so much better after the cure, we left.
"Now we run back to the car. Try to push yourself. Ranger needs to at least think we did something productive this morning"
I laughed and we took off. It turned into a bit of a race and by the time we got back to the car I'd kept pace with Tank most of the way, until he tripped me and touched the car first.
"You absolute cock! You cheated!"
We both laughed until we were breathless and climbed into the car.
"I can't believe you called me a cock!"
"We're having a rematch tomorrow!"
"Fine. I'll meet you in the gym at 6am. Proper training starts then?"
"Yeah. Sounds great!
He nodded.
I plugged my phone in to get some charge whilst we drove back to Haywood and a call came in. I didn't recognise the number.
"Hello?"
"Cup..Steph. Stephanie can't cope without you. Please come home"
It was Joe calling from the station.
Tank looked at me and I shook my head.
"Joe this is Tank. Steph doesn't wish to speak with you so I suggest you leave her alone and call someone else"
"Tank? Really Steph. You didn't waste much time"
I lost it at that point.
"What the fuck Joe?! We're on an early shift at work! I am not sleeping with Tank. You might not realise it but I actually have more self-respect than to hop into the nearest bed. Unlike you. I'm just glad it happened now and not once we were married. You have disrespected me and our friendship let alone the love I had for you. Please don't call me again"
"Steph wait. I'm sorry. I just got carried away trying to nail the arsonist. She was his girl. I was just doing my job"
"Oh for fucks sake Joe. Save it. I don't want to hear the sordid details. You only have yourself to blame for this and the sooner you realise that, the better"
"But what will your mother say? She was so happy we finally got engaged"
"Don't you dare bring my mother in to this. What she thinks of me is her business. I honestly couldn't care less right now. And before you start, your grandmother can leave me alone as well. I don't want to hear it"
"Fine. She was a better fuck than you anyway" and with that the line clicked dead.
I sat trying to channel my anger and hurt into just breathing. I felt the tears sting my eyes and blinked them back.
"I'm gonna kill him" Tank said. I could feel the anger radiating off him in waves.
I sighed in resignation. We'd been on and off for so long before I finally gave in. I was exhausted with it all.
"No. Leave him. You know the saying; no man is worth my tears and the man that is wouldn't make me cry?"
"Yeah"
"Well that's him. He's not worth my tears, or your energy"
"That's very big of you Steph. Proud of you"
"Thanks. Now if I could just convince myself not to shoot him in the balls, I'd believe everything I just said"
Tank laughed again just as we pulled into the Rangeman building.
We both headed to the gym showers to get ready for shift before heading down to the comms room. Les was sat at the comms bank.
"Hey Bomber. How you doin?"
"I'm good. I mean. I'll be good. It's just gonna take some time"
"Well we're all here. You only have to ask"
"Thanks Les"
I kissed him on top of his head as I walked over to my cubby. Ranger had emailed me the files for searching today so I got started.