A/N: Italics are lyrics of Within Temtation's song "Forgiven" I suggest you to listen it while you read.
FORGIVEN
"And when your tears have drowned you, the valonqar shall wrap his hands about your pale white throat and choke the life from you."
A Feast For Crows
I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away
Jaime Lannister unmounted quickly, and started running towards Cersei's tent. He couldn't breathe, he felt like there was a knife stuck in his heart. He could feel tears in his eyes, he could feel guilt, he felt half. He knew Cersei was dead but still he ran to the tent. "Maybe..." he thought "I can save her." he kept running through the host of Lannister men. He didn't think what may happen if Cersei was alive. He didn't think whether or not she would forgive him for not answering her letter, for not being there in all her hard times, for leaving her alone. It didn't matter, all that mattered was that she lived. Cersei had to live, if Jaime was alive, Cersei must be alive.
Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again?
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by
A few metres away from the tent, Jaime saw Tyrion exit. An unreadable expression appeared on his face when he saw Jaime. He looked at Jaime's pale, tired and helpless face. "I'm sorry." he wanted to say for a moment, because he knew what was going to happen, he knew Jaime. "I'm so sorry." he wanted to say but the words didn't leave his mouth. Because he knew it wouldn't make a difference. He had lost Jaime. Had he ever won him? Had Jaime ever loved him? "No" he thought "they never loved me.". In truth, they all deserved it, his father deserved to die, Joffrey deserved to die, Cersei deserved to die and now Jaime was going to be in pain, just as Tyrion was. Why should Tyrion carry the burden alone? All the pain. It only seemed fair.
Jaime found nothing to say. From the short look they shared Jaime knew that it was too late. There was nothing he could do, but still he took a step towards the tent and even though he knew they would never see each other again he looked into his brothers eyes. "Goodbye." he said simply, because it was enough for them both. In his brothers eyes he saw only hatred, a hatred without comparison. For some reason that hatred hurt more than anything. More than losing his hand, seeing the dead body of his own child and father, more than anything else. Not as much as knowing his other half was dead but it hurt, nevertheless. He looked at his brother one last time and entered the tent.
Cersei Lannister, his beautiful twin, fallen from her bed, was lying in a pool of her own blood. She looked more like Jaime than she ever had. Her hair, that had been cut before the walk was now the same length as his. But she was thinner, paler and the only thing that livened her skin was the blood surrounding her body. Her clothes were torn, the skirt ripped to her waist, her underwear thrown to the opposite side of the room. The blood from the wound in her belly flowed between her legs. Jaime felt his eyes burn and fill with tears, his heart felt as if it were being squeezed by invisible hands. He closed his eyes, trying to compose himself, but opened them when Cersei's weak voice. "Jaime..." whispered Cersei, "Jaime, is that you?" her voice was hopeful. "I'm here" he said, his voice shaking "I'm here, sister I'm here. It'll be ok." he said not believing his own words. He couldn't stop the tears from rolling down his face. Cersei opened her firmly shut eyes looked at Jaime and for the first time in many years, all he saw in Cersei's eyes was love. Not hatred, jealousy, ambision, anger or regret, just love. He saw his own reflection and how Cersei smiled at the sight of it. "Don't cry sweet brother" she said "there is no need to cry. You're mine and I'm yours, you're here and I'm here, together at the end, as it was always meant to be.
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
"I should have come before. Forgive me, I should have come sooner." said Jaime sobbing. He had started to shake and Cersei's blood stained his clothes. "It doesn't matter." said Cersei, she coughed up some blood "It doesn't matter, you're here now." she said. She was so calm, her voice full of love. But Jaime knew that beneath the surface it did matter and Cersei was angry. Because he should have come sooner, he should never have left. Because he now realised it wasn't important. It wasn't important who Cersei had slept with in his abscence because she had't loved any of them, she had done it all to stay alive, for her children, for the realm. It wasn't important because throughout the years Jaime had always known what they had was different. They were a whole, always had been and would be forever. They had been born togethr and nothing could come between them. None of it was important, but Jaime was noticing this too late. He had forgotten that he was the only thing that mattered to Cersei and now it was too late to remember.
Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again?
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by
"Forgive me" said Cersei her voice even weaker than before. "If only-" she said and paused to take a deep breath, trying to still the pain. "If only... If only everything was different. If only we could go home. I'd give anything for those times. Because... Because truthfully... It was all for nothing... They're all dead Jaime... What I did... What I did didn't change anything. Joffrey is dead, father is dead, Tommen and Mrycella too... All for a throne" then she paused and coughed again. She was as white as a sheet now, she was almost dead "Just think Jaime, how perfect it would be if we were like the Targaryens. At Casterly Rock with our children... Without commiting a single sin... How different it would be... I've done everything wrong... Everything... Forgive me." she said "Now this is the price, for what I've done, for my sins. Now it's time for me to go."
Jaime understood. He dried his eyes and touched Cersei's face. Bent down and kissed her lips and pressing their two foreheads together took a deep breath. "I will not let you go alone." he whispered and Cersei didn't object, just nodded. She knew it would make no difference, this was the way it was meant to be. Neither could live while the other didn't "We were born together and so we must die together." said Cersei and held Jaime's hands to her throat, she knew this was how it must be. "I can't stand to watch you die." said Jaime, unable to keep the his voice from faltering. "I was born first, I must die first." she replied.
Why not me before you
Why did fate deceive me
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence
Jaime closed his eye and took a deep breath, one of his lasts. Then, opening his eyes he looked at Cersei and suddenly everything was calm. He remembered the first time she had kissed him, the times when he had made her laugh, the times they had ran about Casterly Rock playing with swords and smiled at her. Cersei smiled back lovingly and nodded, telling him it was time. Even though she knew this was how it was supposed to end, she couldn't keep herself from crying and whispered "I forgive you. I love you." and Jaime replied, "I forgive you, I love you.
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
The next day the whole of Casterly Rock woke to the septa's scream. Those who rushed to the tent looked astounded at the sight of the two Lions of Lannister. Cersei Lannister, a hole in her belly and hand marks around her throat, in the arms of her twin Jaime who held her despite the knife in his heart.
The lions of Casterly Rock, finally together in peace, with a smile on their faces, as it always was to be.
All that's done's forgiven.
