AND I CRIED…
Sam Puckett was not the type of girl to get very emotional. Sure she would laugh and she would scream and she would let people know what was on her mind, but Sam would never cry. If she would, she would cry alone, where no one could hear her.
It just didn't come naturally to her. Yes, she was strong, but not strong like everyone else thought. She just liked people to think that. Deep down inside Sam, she was just like everyone else and there were things that made her cry. Like when her dad left her and her mom and never came back. Or when she had to work had Chili My Bowl and clean urinals. And when she and Carly ever had a big fight, she would cry. And then there was Freddie.
When she first met the dork, she would have never thought he would ever have the power to make her cry, multiple times in fact. He was just an irritating being that happened to hang with her and Carly a lot.
His nerdiness was so annoying that it made her want to punch him. His crush on Carly was so frustrating that it made her just want to kick him. But he was just so adorable that he made her want to kiss him. And he was just so perfect that he made her want to be with him. And then she fell in love with him, and that made her cry.
Sam's POV
The first time I ever cried over a boy, a.k.a. a nerd, was right after the girls choice dance. I was just having a bad night. I was first rejected by a Gibby and then rejected by the one person who I never thought would ever matter to me, Fredward Benson.
It was late and the dance was already over so I decided to stop by the Groovy Smoothie on my way home. It was dark, the streets were bare, and I was surprised that the shop was still open, but the place was lit up. As I walked in, I noticed slow romantic music playing and I looked up.
The sight in front of me was at first a shock so I kind of just stood there. Then, as it sunk in, I was hurt. A pain went through my chest and traveled down to my stomach. I didn't know why I was feeling this way or what caused it, but I didn't know what to do. So I just walked out.
Once I was out I couldn't help but look back at my two best friends who were slow dancing like they were in love. Carly had her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder while Freddie had his hands around her waist, looking down at her like she was the most amazing thing in the world.
I wondered why I was so hurt over this. I mean, I was used to Freddie drooling over Carly, but what I wasn't used to was Carly giving Freddie attention back. That worried me.
Maybe I was just upset because I was having a bad night. Maybe I was upset because it was weird and I felt left out. Or maybe I was upset because I was jealous. No…that couldn't be why. Could it?
I didn't realize this right then and there, but not too long afterwards I knew I was hurt because I had fallen in love with Freddie. I realized this when I got home…and I cried…
The second time I cried was during the lock-in at Ridgeway. Carly and Freddie were all on my case because they thought I was in love with this guy named Brad, because a stupid computer app told them so. Also, because I was "acting different". I will admit I was trying to act differently because I wanted Freddie to start to see more than the blond headed demon who just liked to harass him. I wanted him to see my good side. I wanted him to notice me. And, well, it worked, but in a different way than planned. So I eventually did what neither of us expected.
"Get out of here before I do a double fist dance on your face." I stood up and walked over to him while I threatened him. It was the first time I had raised my voice at him in days.
He was now so close that I could feel his breathe on my face. It was warm and smelled like guacamole.
"You can threaten your double fist face dancing all you want, but Carly's still right."
Then he changed his tone to soft and caring. Not like it was before, when he was yelling at me, convinced that I was in love with Brad. That just showed how little he knew.
"Look I know it's scary for you to put your feelings out there. Because you never know if the person you like is going to like you back. Everyone feels that way, but you never know what might happen if you don't…"
He was never able to finish his sentence, because in that second, I grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed my lips to his.
I don't know why I did it. I would have never thought in a million years that I would ever have that kind of courage, but I did. He was saying that I needed to put my feelings out there, and there he was, the one I loved. He wasn't kissing me back, but I didn't notice this right away. I was too mesmerized by the feeling of his lips on mine.
Then, I pulled back, instantly regretting what I did. I was in just as much shock as he was. I wanted to see what his reaction was though, so I let my eyes meet his. He was staring back at me wide eyed, with his mouth open. "I…I…" he mumbled.
"Sorry." I said, embarrassed.
"It's cool." He responded awkwardly. It came out more like a question though. I didn't know what to do or if there was anything I could say and I could tell he was thinking the same thing.
We both just stood there, staring awkwardly at the ground, for what seemed like hours.
Then I did what I do best. I lost my patience.
"Look, I know you're in shock and probably wondering what just happened and why. And you're probably grossed out." I was now trembling and still couldn't look him in the eyes. "So I'm sorry, but I…" my voice cracked while I dared myself to look at him.
The shock was gone from his face and now he looked concerned and worried. And that scared me. So I ran.
I just kept on getting faster and faster when I heard my name being called. But he didn't run after me. I didn't blame him.
I ran all the way home and once I entered my house I ran straight to my room, ignoring my mom who was on the couch. She probably didn't even notice me.
When I reached my room, I didn't jump on my bed like I usually did, but I crawled onto it. Then, I gently curled up into a ball and laid down.
After a few minutes, I felt a warm, salty liquid roll down my cheek…and I cried…
Freddie and I had been dating the past couple years, after he asked me out after the lock-in. When he did, it was the first time in a long time I was truly happy. Even though we were dating, we were still the same Sam and Freddie that we had always been. We would fight and there would be screaming and yelling and even some occasional violence on my part. We even broke up a few times, but the difference between this new relationship we had and the old one was that after ever fight, we would kiss and make up. But all good things eventually have to come to an end. And they did the day Freddie left for college.
Since he was going to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and I was staying here in Seattle, and going to community college, I had been wondering lately how we were going to be together. And I know he was wondering the same thing.
We don't do well when we're apart, because when we fight I'm impatient and he'll just ignore me. I loved him and wanted to be with him, but I decided to do something that, again, I would have never thought I would do in a million years, and that was to put someone else's needs before mine.
That day I came over to his apartment, shaking from nerves, and I knocked on his door.
He opened it with a smile on his face, but it was a sad smile. Probably because he was upset to be leaving. "Hey Sam." He pulled me in for a quick kiss and I savored it, because I knew it was going to be our last.
"Freddie, we need to talk." I said, sitting down on the couch.
He sat down beside me. "Okay, what about?" He said unsurely.
"You're going to Massachusetts. That's all the way across the country. You're going to have no time for anything but school." I paused, wanting to stop, but I had to continue. "Then you're going to graduate, probably move to Hollywood and become some famous movie producer. You have a great head on your shoulders and there's so much out there for you. You don't need me… "
"Stop that!" He scolded me, "Yes I do need you Sam. I'm always going to need you."
"But I'll hold you back. And plus how are we going to handle a long distance relationship? It's not like I can go anywhere else Freddie, let alone Massachusetts. This is you're path and you need to take it and not worry about me."
"Sam, why are you doing this?" He took my hands in his, but I just shrugged them off. "I know it will work out. It will always be me and you Sam, even if we're on different sides on the country."
"Freddie, you know how we are. We'll be fighting by tomorrow over the phone and probably won't speak to each other for days. Then it will be weeks. And then we'll break up."
"That's happened before and we always work through it. We do because we love each other."
"But this is different. You can't just fly to Seattle every time we have a fight and kiss me Freddie."
He was now sounding desperate and I more than ever wanted to give in, but I had to stay strong. "I love you Sam… don't do this."
"I'm sorry Freddie." I stood up, slowly inching myself away from him so he couldn't do anything to change my mind.
But then he got angry. "You know, it didn't have to be this way. It would have been just fine! Just fine! But no! You have to be your stubborn self and screw everything up."
I was now mad. I was only doing this for him. "Fine! If that's the way you want to look at it, I better just leave now."
"Fine! Goodbye and have a nice life!" Those were his last words.
When I got to the door, I stopped and turned back to look at him one last time. I wanted to tell him I loved him and how sorry I was. I wanted him to take me back so I could run into his arms and let him kiss me. But no, I was Sam Puckett and I was stubborn as hell.
"Goodbye Freddie." I love you. Then I walked away from him...and I cried…
Five years later I had graduated from college and just recently opened my own restaurant called Meat Lovers right there in Seattle. Carly and I were still friends and we kept in touch but barley saw each other. Since me and Freddie's breakup, I never heard from him. And it hurt. Even Carly didn't keep in touch with him anymore.
I was right though, I knew he'd be too busy and would easily forget about me. We would have probably ended up breaking up anyway.
I think back to our relationship now, and I wonder if we were ever meant to be together. I knew I loved him, but was it enough? I mean, we were just kids in high school. We know so much more now than we did then. So it was for the best, I knew it was.
Even if he was out of my life now, I knew he'd always be a memory because he was my first love. Little did I know, fate was about to take me down memory lane and lead me back down a path I had already been on, the path I wanted to be one all along.
Along with my own restaurant, I now had my own apartment as well. It was about eight at night and I was lying down on my couch, eating some fried chicken and watching TV. Then all of a sudden, my doorbell rang. It was weird because my doorbell never rang.
When I got to my door and opened it, what I saw was a guy, who was not very tall, and who looked about in his twenties. The way he was smiling down at me made my heart skip a beat. It didn't take me much longer to realize who it was.
"Freddie Benson?" I asked, in shock.
"Hi Sam." He grinned at me.
I couldn't help but smile back, I was just so happy to see him. "What are you doing here?"
"I am in town, visiting my mom. And being here, well, I thought of you. So I asked around a bit and found out where you lived."
"Wow stalker." I laughed, as he pulled me into a hug. "Just kidding. Come on in." It was awkward, very awkward in fact. But I didn't know what to do. I just loved the feeling of being in his arms again.
The only reason I think we were able to be this friendly towards each other was because underneath our complicated relationship, we were just simply good friends.
"So how are you? What have you been up to?" I asked, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Would you like something to eat or drink? I have fried chicken."
He laughed, "Same old Sam. No thanks." He paused and just took his time to look at me and smile. "I'm doing well. Massachusetts was great and it really made me into the man I am today. And I actually just moved to L.A. and have been working on producing some music videos."
"That's great!" I was really trying to be happy for him, but was only reminded of why we broke up. "I knew one day you'd move there and do great things."
That's when I could tell, by the way he looked at me, that he was thinking of the same thing. "Yeah, well what about you? What have you been up to?"
"Well, surprisingly I graduated from college and now I own my own little restaurant that's actually doing pretty well."
"That's awesome Sam." He smiled.
Then there was silence. It was a mixture of awkward and something else. I couldn't pinpoint it. Then his eyes met mine, and I could tell he was sad.
"Do you want to maybe go to the Groovy Smoothie with me? For old time's sake? I'll buy you a smoothie." He asked this gently.
"Sure." I smiled. And at that moment, the man I saw in front of me was still the same boy I fell in love with seven years ago. He was still Freddie…my Freddie.
We talked and laughed the whole way there, just like old times. And we never ran out of things to laugh and talk about. Just in the couple hours that we spent together, I already felt like a teenager in love again. It was like we were never apart and nothing bad had ever happened.
When we were back at my place, he walked me to my door.
"How long are you in town?" I asked.
"For just a few more days." He said softly.
"Oh, well, you know where to find me. We need to hangout again." I was now back in reality, and was losing any hope that I had earlier.
"Yeah."
For what seemed like forever, we just looked into each other's eyes searching for the answer to the one question neither of us could ask all night. Then, he asked it. "Sam, what happened to us?"
My breath got caught in my throat. Here he was, the one I knew with all my heart that I still loved and had never stopped loving. And we were right back to where we left off.
"I don't know." I responded truthfully, wondering if he still wanted me. I had to make sure. "We were kids Freddie. We didn't know what we wanted." I paused. Wanting a reaction, but he gave none. "But now I know."
He came closer and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "What do you know? What do you want?" He asked hopefully.
"I want exactly what I wanted five years ago." The hopefulness quickly left his face and his eyes dropped to the ground. "Which was you."
"What?" He asked confused.
I bit my lip, and staring up at him I said, "I want you Freddie. I always wanted you. I always loved you." Our eyes met and he was now grinning from ear to ear. "I just didn't know that then. And I didn't know if you would still want me in the years to come."
"Oh but I did Sam. I still do." He then supped my face in his hands. And that was the moment when his lips captured mine…and I cried…
Two years later, I was getting my happy ending. And who would have ever thought it would be with Freddie Benson.
He was the little nerd boy that I harassed through his childhood. He was the best friend that I fell in love with. He was the crazy guy who actually loved me back. And, oddly enough, he was the one who had the special powers to make me, Sam Puckett, cry.
"I do." Said Freddie on our wedding day, while he stared lovingly into my eyes.
"Will you, Samantha Puckett, take Fredward Benson to be your lawful wedded husband…?"
"I do." I said, while my eyes never left Freddie's. I was never more sure of anything in my life.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
When our lips met, it was a kiss free from regret or hesitation. It was just pure bliss…and I cried…The happiest tears of my life.