A/N: So after the end of KH3 I was a broken mess of tears and sorrow with some bits of human attached, but after I put myself back together I was miffed that Kairi got screwed over AGAIN by the narrative. Also, beset by curiosity about where the heck Demyx went after his role as plot device was over. So I started writing and, well, this happened. BECAUSE I WANT THESE TWO TO HAVE A LAST MOMENT OF BADASS, EVEN IF NOMURA DOESN'T!
You Can Play the Game (But You Can't Make the Rules)
© Scribbler, April 2019
I've been waiting, contemplating,
Dreaming of the day that I could make my move
And it's cruel.
Now I'm rolling the dice
And playing the game
But nobody told me that everything's changed.
You can play the game
But you can't make the rules
It's cruel, so cruel.
If all the world's the stage
Then we all play the fool
It's cruel, so cruel.
~ From 'Cruel' by The Everlove
Kairi cried out as her shoulder struck the ground. Her training, short though it had been, kicked in and she turned the awkward landing into a roll. She came up on one knee, hand cupped. A moment later her keyblade flashed into her waiting grip. Lea would have laughed at her form but right now posture didn't matter as much as not laying on the ground with the freaking enemy right behind you.
"How quaint."
Or in front of you.
She tensed.
There was no big showy entrance. He was already there, waiting with hands clasped behind his back. He stood hunched over like the old man he both was and wasn't.
"Xehanort." She struggled to keep her voice level. Her chest hurt, the light of her heart recognising the overwhelming darkness his radiated even at rest.
One side of his mouth quirked into what might have bene a smile. She had never seen such a forbidding one before. Even Maleficent's worst smiles had contained some small amount of humour, like she knew the answer to a question nobody else even knew to ask.
"Princess." Xehanort's lisping voice made her shiver. "Or rather … you prefer just 'Kairi' don't you?"
"Why did you bring me here?" Screw pleasantries. She wanted answers.
Much as she did not want to look away, she knew Xemnas had to still be around here somewhere. She had lost track of the Nobody when he released her wrist and dumped her out of the Corridor of Darkness. Her eyes darted around. She was still in the desert. She could see the glimmer of many keyblades stabbed into the ground without needing to strain her eyes. He hadn't brought her far then. She was pretty high up though; no longer on the ground but atop one of those ugly stone pillars. Easier to keep her from escaping if she was stuck up here. Well that figured.
Impulsively, her heart reached out, trying to feel for Sora's, but she snapped back to herself when Xehanort spoke again. Stupid. She needed to stay focussed. Sora would be fine without her. He always was.
He's had enough practise of being fine without me…
Ah! Shut up brain. Not helping! Pay attention to the crazy old psychopath with the elf ears and bad fashion sense.
"Your light is important." Xehanort had not moved and continued to smile unsettlingly. Why hadn't he moved? What was he planning?
Kairi mimicked Riku's bravado. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"
"Hmm, probably not yet. But all will become clear in time."
"You know, being all cryptic and everything might check off something on a list in the Big Villain Handbook but it is really, really annoying to listen to."
His smile widened. He looked like a barracuda. She was struck by a sudden memory of Tidus scrambling back into their rowboat, yelling about a barracuda taking a bite out of his flipper and kicking the now-serrated edges into his friends' faces as proof. None of them had gone swimming for a week after that.
Her grip on her keyblade tightened. "You can take me out if you want, but Sora and the others won't let you win. They're stronger than you are, no matter what you think."
"Oh, I'm counting on it."
That flummoxed her. "What?"
"Their strength allows them to fight hardest against their opponents and achieve victory against impossible odds. But you see, my dear princess, it does not matter to me if they defeat my vessels."
"It … doesn't?"
"Why would it? Useless shells, all of them. Mere pawns in the game, to be removed from the board when they have served their purpose."
"That's an awful way to talk about your own allies! They're still people."
He laughed. It sounded like bones clacking together on a gamekeeper's gibbet. "No, princess, they are not."
She scowled at him. "That attitude is exactly why Sora and Riku are going to beat you."
"They are welcome to try." Xehanort's reply was so nonchalant it was unnerving. "Though my fight with them shall come after."
"After?"
Another barracuda smile. He lifted one hand, making her drop into a defensive guard. His own keyblade materialised, grey and ugly and pointed right at her.
"I do not need to defeat the strongest warriors of light. Only the weakest one. However it is achieved, a victory is still a victory in a fight between my thirteen Darknesses and your seven Guardians of Light."
Sudden fear sluiced through Kairi. Oh no…
"The X-Blade will be formed after the all the forces of light and darkness clash," Xehanort went on blithely. "It does not matter who emerges victorious from each of those other…" He paused, seeming to choose his next words carefully. "Scuffles. Only that I win my encounter and thus am there at the end to claim the X-Blade itself."
Scuffles? What way was that to describe the literal life or death battles being played out in the Keyblade Graveyard? Bile touched the back of Kairi's throat. She swallowed hard, willing herself to look as tough as Sora or Riku when they posed like this with their keyblades.
But you're not Sora or Riku, whispered that traitorous little voice in the back of her mind. You haven't been in as many fights as them. You're not as experienced as them. You're not as tough as them. You're not even a novice. Even Lea is better at this than you and he hasn't had his keyblade as long as you have. You're a joke. That's why Xehanort chose you for this: because you're the one he absolutely doesn't have to worry about defeating him if he fights you.
She shook her head. She was not a joke.
Even so, the doubts prickled. She felt every droplet of her inexperience rise to made her skin turn cold and clammy.
I'm going to die.
The thought was one she had not permitted herself to think before. She actually had died – or come as close as made no difference – but when the demon storm swooped her up and carried her off, her thoughts had all been of Sora and Riku standing against the writhing swirl of black and yellow and how much she needed them to be okay. And then …
And then something had snapped inside her special heart, unwound through her body even as the Heartless were prising it out of her chest, and clutched at Sora's own screaming, grief-stricken heart, holding him together until he could manage it himself again. She still wasn't sure how she had done it. At the time it had been total instinct, like it was baked into her DNA: save Sora. Unravelling the timestream and holding it down for him to travel had required no conscious thought. Sora needed to rescue the others and needed a way to do it so she … provided that way.
This was the same. Staring at Xehanort across the small expanse of rock and sand was not like the demon storm closing over her head. Apparently saving just herself was not enough to trigger whatever power had flowed through her then. Or maybe it was a one time only deal and she had used it all up to save Sora and the others. If that was the case, she did not regret it.
Xehanort took a step towards her.
Kairi took a step back and froze. No, I won't back down. I won't!
"Such bravery in the face of one's own destruction," he chuckled.
"Sh-shut up!"
The quaver in her voice pulled the other side of his mouth up into a full grin.
"Wow, you're even uglier when you smile." It wasn't the best insult but Lea seemed to draw strength from talking smack to Xemnas so maybe it would work for her too.
Nope, still trembling like a big baby.
Sora … Riku …
"You think to enrage me with your words," Xehanort said, unruffled. "A poor choice of strategy. I have no interest in what you have to say; only in your heart."
I'm going to die.
Shut up, brain!
"A lot of people have tried to take my heart. They all failed and I'm still here."
"Ah, but this time there is no noble boy to take it within himself and safeguard it for you. There will be no shell for him to return it to. There will be only the X-Blade." His teeth flashed in the low sun. "And me."
"You wish!"
"Wishes are for fools."
Then I must be a fool because I so wish I wasn't here right now.
Maybe if she played for time, kept him talking, distracted him for long enough; maybe then Sora, Lea and the others could finish their battles and come to …
Come to what? Save her? Fight Xehanort? Die in her place – again?
Everyone was always protecting her. She was freaking Keyblader now and still needed to be rescued? This felt like some great cosmic joke. She had tried so hard with her training, done everything right, followed every instruction Yen Sid and Merlin gave her, yet she had still ended up in a position like this. Did she have 'damsel in distress' stamped on her forehead at birth or something? Bitterness welled inside her like an ugly black fountain.
No.
No, this time she was on her own.
She set her feet.
"Fuck you, Xehanort."
His smile died. "Such foul language from a Princess of the Heart."
"Fuck you with bells on!"
He sighed. "You young people. So full of your own self-importance that you fail at basic respect for your elders and betters."
She wasn't sure what was happening until after he was already in her face, keyblade locked with hers. Instinctively she had brought her guard up, saving her from being downed in one hit. Yet the speed of his attack left her reeling. How could someone so old be so fast?
He leered at her. She scowled, throwing every ounce of strength into pushing him back. He whirled, dislodging her grip and bringing his keyblade around in a low hit aimed for her exposed legs as she stumbled forwards. She jumped and rolled, coming up on other side, keyblade raised above her head to intercept a hit she anticipated. It did not come. Instead, he moved with that preternatural speed again to appear behind her. He kicked her square in the middle of her back, sending her sprawling.
He was toying with her.
The bitter black fountain bubbled over. Did she not even merit an actual fight? Was she so weak that he didn't even consider her worthy of pretending?
Kairi had never hated anyone before. She had come close but the light in her heart had always pushed back against the hatred, softening it into something lesser and then reforging that over time into forgiveness. It was how she had been able to accept Lea so readily after all he had done to her and Sora; how she could look on all their enemies and see the parts of them worth saving instead of destroying. The fundamental dark essence that hate required to exist always burned away in the presence of light - and being a Princess of the Heart meant Kairi had light to spare.
Yet right now, faced with the increasingly inevitability of her own death, hatred puckered the edges of her mind, encroaching inward like a dark stain.
Sora …
Xehanort had hurt Sora; tried to violate him and turn him into a vessel for his own soul against Sora's will. She had seen the aftermath of that; had crept into Sora's room at Yen Sid's the night after he failed his Mastery exam and held him as he trembled with the weight of realisation and the memory of hands cupping his face and being able to do nothing to stop it as Young Xehanort told him what was about to happen to him. Sora was not superhuman. Underneath all his heroism and great deeds, he was still a teenage boy who could be scared and cry into her shoulder at the enormity of nearly dying from the inside out. She had seen the hard line of Riku's jaw the next morning, railing at himself that he had not been able to protect Sora after all; had instead been forced to rely on Lea to do what he could not and had come so close to losing Sora completely as a result. She had watched her boys work their way through their hurts until they scarred over; a horrible, permanent reminder of what had nearly happened.
Riku …
Xehanort had manipulated Riku into betraying everything and everyone he held dear, planting seeds of self-loathing that had nearly destroyed him more than once. Sora had nearly died but Riku … something inside Riku had died and it had taken years to coax even a spark of his old self back to life. Riku hated himself because of how Xehanort had warped him into his own sick and twisted plans. He hated himself for not being good enough, not being strong enough, not ever being enough, even though Kairi and Sora knew he was.
Xehanort had split Ventus in two, consigned Aqua to a decade of constant loneliness and succeeded in reducing Terra to a tool the way he had tried with Riku and Sora. He had ripped out the hearts of the other Princesses, crushing them together into a new shape like they were mere objects to be used up and thrown away. Kairi remembered the feeling of compression, of distant screaming and briefly seeing the hopes, dreams, fears and regrets of six other souls as they were forged together like molten metal. He had hurt so many people, caused the destruction of countless worlds, had blood on his hands from death after death after death … and for what? To satisfy a curiosity about the nature of Darkness? To kickstart a war that would cause even more death and destruction?
Xehanort's expression flickered. On anyone else, she might have called it uncertainty. "What's this? A Princess of the Heart with … darkness in her?" He blinked slowly. "Not in your heart. No, that is still immutable. But … such negative emotions you exude, Princess. Vanitas himself would be impressed."
Vanitas. Yet another soul Xehanort has manipulated and ultimately destroyed in his schemes. Vanitas was a being of pure darkness by his own admission, but he hadn't had a choice about his fate. The moment Xehanort called him into being he was there to do nothing but serve the old man's purposes and then die. Yet another casualty in this mad plan to restart the Keyblade War. How many others didn't they know about? How many other people had Xehanort hurt, used up and cast aside while she and her friends weren't looking?
Kairi's scowl became a snarl. "I won't let you hurt anyone else."
Xehanort's uncertainty vanished. He brought up his weapon. "You're welcome to try, Princess, but understand that even your best efforts will be nothing more than a mere distraction for me as I wait for the main event."
His casual dismissal hurt more than it should have. Her chest ached. Her light fought against the hatred fizzing up at the sight of his stupid smug grin. He didn't care about anyone as long as he got what he wanted.
"You hurt Sora and Riku – and you don't even care," she gritted. "That … I can never forgive."
She flew at him, feinting left and dodging right to come at his unprotected side – only to find his arm at an impossible angle to meet her keyblade with his. She jumped back, not eager to get locked in again, and tried casting magic at him. He repelled her meagre spells easily, though she didn't really expect them to work. She wasn't Aqua; magic was not her forte and there had been little time to get into specialty fighting styles like that before her training was cut short. She tried to get around his defences, using tricks that had worked when sparring with Lea. Kairi may not have had enough muscle mass to push back a full-frontal attack but she was small and fast. She dashed in and out in quick, slashing attacks, conserving her own energy while trying to wear down her opponent into making tired mistakes she could exploit.
Against an opponent like Lea it might have worked. Against a Master like Xehanort … not so much.
"I grow tired of this." He yawned – actually yawned.
He flicked his wrist, sending a spinning ball of energy at her. She evaded it and shielded her eyes against the blast as it hit a rocky outcropping behind her, throwing up debris. She avoided another ball of energy, racing forward to slash at him again – only to find him behind her, grabbing her neck with his free hand. Her face ploughed into the sand, his weight on top of her.
"You are outmatched, Princess." His breath was too hot and his purr too loud in her ear, as if this had never been in any doubt.
Kairi tasted blood. She had bitten her tongue when she hit the ground. The coppery tang and sharp pain galvanised her to buck against him, thrusting both elbows back and kicking up with her heels. It wasn't graceful but she nonetheless caught him in the ribs and thigh, eliciting a satisfying grunt of pain.
"An ill-mannered display from a Princess of Heart." He leaned on her neck, pressing her further into the sand. It went up her nose, making her cough.
"Fffffuuuuccchhkkk-"
Black circles fringed her vision. Crap, she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Was that his plan or did he not realise he was suffocating her? She fought harder to throw him off but felt his knee press into the centre of her back, holding her still but also compressing her lungs. Panic shot through her. Her throat hurt. She tried to suck in air but only inhaled more sand. Her skull ached like someone was tightening an iron band around it. All she could see was sand and a sliver of sky – and those were shrinking in a ring of black.
Ohgodohgodohgodohgod…
She didn't want to die.
She didn't want to die!
But her movements were growing sluggish. It hurt to think. She was vaguely aware of Xehanort fisting her hair to turn her head and whisper some more into her ear but couldn't hear him over the roar of her own blood.
"Kairi?"
Something uncurled in the very core of her being; a pleasant warmth totally unlike the hot burning in her lungs. Flickers of blonde hair and blue eyes guttered through her mind like a candle most of the way to going out.
Naminé?
Naminé was awake? But how? She was sleeping safe in Kairi's heart station, wasn't she? The fragments of her personality were held together by Kairi's own light and desire not to let her fade. She never woke up. If she did, she might break apart again and Kairi might not be able to put her back together a second time …
Kairi's vision went dark.
"Oh no. Kairi, hold on. Help is coming."
Sora?
Desperate hope suffused her. She was in too much pain to care how weak that made her seem. She could sink into some nice self-hatred later. For now, not dying with her face buried in sand and an old man standing on her back topped everything.
"No, not Sora."
A tremendous twanging thump punctured the roaring in Kairi's ears – and abruptly Xehanort's weight was gone. Arms unsteady, she nevertheless pushed herself up onto all-fours and gulped in air, coughing and spitting out wet sand. The iron band around her skull uncinched. The black dots receded. She was aware of someone standing in front of her and dimly recognised a black coat and boots.
"A-Axel?"
"Aw man. No, not Axel."
That nasally voice … she vaguely recognised it but couldn't place where. Only when her vision cleared and she saw straw-coloured hair and a sitar raised like a club did she realise.
"Demyx?"
"The one and only. Heh." Demyx's voice quavered with false bravado. "So, um … you gonna get up and help me here, short stuff? Because I just totally beaned the boss-man to save you and, uh … yeah, he's totally gonna kill me." He muttered, "Why am I even doing this? I could've just hidden out in Radiant Garden but noooo, I had to open a door for Roxas and not stay on the safe stinkin' side of it where all the fighting wasn't …"
Kairi levered herself to her feet, bringing her keyblade to bear. Her whole body felt like she had been fed headfirst through a mangle but she shook it off as best she could. Fight now. Lick wounds later.
Xehanort was getting to his feet a short distance away. He moved slowly but surely; even paused to knock dust off his clothes, as if they weren't enough of a threat to hurry.
"So," he said, almost conversational. "A rogue pawn returns to the board without permission from the chess-master."
Demyx gulped audibly. Kairi got the feeling it was taking all he had not to turn and run away. Xehanort had that effect on people. Heck, he had that effect on her.
"Um, n-no hard feelings, right boss-man? I mean, what's a bump on the head between friends?" His chuckle sank into the silence like a stone. "Not that we're friends-friends or anything, but … uh … I mean, you were ... like, I don't know if you knew it, but you were like … kind of killing her. And you wanted to defeat her but not, like, kill her, right? Right?"
Xehanort turned to face them. Kairi tensed. He was not smiling. His face wasn't doing anything much, except glancing between her and Demyx with what might have been mild disgust.
"So it is betrayal from you as well, my Melodious Nocturne?"
"Ho boy. Um, betrayal is such a strong word–"
"Of all my darknesses, you were the one I least thought capable of such duplicity."
"Say what now?"
"What motivated such an action, I wonder? A growing conscience? A desire for atonement?" Xehanort sneered the word, lip crinkling like it tasted bad. "Or is it a pardon you chase? Do you think a Princess of Heart can provide you with forgiveness for your past actions?"
Demyx stiffened beside her. Kairi wasn't sure why, nor could she look up at his expression to try to read it.
"It must be something significant. You were always too much of a coward to fight unless forced."
"You were … gonna kill her …" Demyx's words, faint as a water stain on hot pavement, evaporated completely under Xehanort's stare.
"She is a Guardian of Light. Her destiny is to die and become part of the X-Blade." Xehanort levelled his keyblade at them. "And yours is apparently to die to facilitate that."
"Oh crap!"
The blast drove them apart, each diving out of the way. Kairi felt it singe her ankle, a prickly sensation that left a red welt. Pure darkness. Xehanort was a master of it, after all. Her chest throbbed as her light reacted to its presence.
She turned but the next flare was not directed at her. Nor the one after that.
Xehanort drove Demyx ahead of him like a rabid dog herding one lonely sheep towards the edge of a cliff. She watched as Demyx frantically tried to open a door to a Corridor of Darkness, only for Xehanort to detonate the ground in front of him, throwing him backwards. Concentration broken, Demyx's door vanished. He landed in an awkward heap, sitar half on top of him. He clutched at the instrument like it might save him.
Xehanort advanced. "Sub-standard performance, Nocturne."
"Nggg … not the first time I've heard that …"
"Indeed. It seems you shall die as you lived: a failure and a disappointment to all." Xehanort raised his keyblade and brought it down in a chopping motion.
The clang when it met Kairi's resonated across the landscape. Her legs nearly buckled but she tightened her grip on the hilt and braced her free palm against the flat of the blade, holding him off.
"Ah, as I might have expected. You warriors of light do so like to defend the weak and helpless, don't you?"
"Hrrrrnnnggg!" She locked her elbows and demanded over her shoulder, "You gonna run or fight or do something?"
"Me? I'm not a fighter! That's the whole problem!"
"Then do something else useful!" Her left knee trembled and hit the ground. Her back screamed. How was such an old man so freaking strong?
"Oh! Right."
A whoosh heralded a new Corridor. An arm looped around her waist, yanking her backwards. She nearly lost her grip on her keyblade but managed to keep hold as Demyx tumbled through the portal, hugging her to his chest like a rag doll. The door sealed shut behind them.
"We should be safe here. The spaces between worlds are – hey, are you okay?"
Kairi convulsed. Her keyblade dissolved as she clutched at her chest, mouth open but no sound coming out. She grabbed fistfuls of fabric, as if that could re-inflate her suddenly crushed lungs.
"What? What the hell? Did he cut you? Oh crap, oh shit, oh – what should I do?" Panic permeated Demyx's babbling. "Are you having a coronary? An asthma attack? Hayfever?"
She fell to her knees and tried to get back up but buckled onto her side. Her whole body was molten with pain; every vein and artery boiling, every organ on fire, cooking her from the inside out. Her bones were made of lava and her ribs pulsed around a piece of sun in her chest.
"Your heart. It's trying to fight all the darkness around you." Naminé's soothing voice provided little comfort.
"Short stuff? Princess? Um, Kairi?"
Her lips felt dried out and chapped as they moved on their own. Her entire face was numb. Even her eyeballs radiated agony into her skull like hot coals someone had shoved unceremoniously into the sockets. "You need to get her out of here. The light of her heart is rebelling against the darkness."
"She … what? Why are you talking in third person?"
"Just do it or she'll die!"
"Ah! Sure, sure, right, right!" Demyx gathered her in his arms uncertainly, like he was half-convinced she would shatter if he mishandled her. Kairi could do nothing but let him, her own body having become her enemy.
This never happened before when Axel kidnapped me … she thought dimly.
"There are parts of you that were awakened when you became a keyblader and honed your light as a weapon to better fight the darkness. You're the first Princess of Heart to also wield a keyblade, after all. You can do things with your light and your heart that no other Princess has ever even tried to do. The old rules don't apply anymore and we're not sure of the new ones yet."
That would've been useful to know before coming here.
"I'm sorry. It's … it's taking all I have just to stay awake and coherent right now." Naminé sounded so remorseful that even though her own pain, Kairi was instantly ashamed for snapping at her. "Talking to Sora in the Final World … it took a lot out of me …"
Kairi's heart reached out instinctively, seeking the connection to her friends, trying to draw on their strength to bolster her own and feed it to Naminé. Naminé herself felt like a cool breeze, billowing curtains across her face and paper under her fingertips. The contrast to the fire in her limbs was welcome.
"I … I don't know how long I can keep this up," Naminé admitted. "Taking control like that … used up a lot of my remaining strength …"
Please don't lose yourself, Kairi begged. Don't use yourself up and disappear to save me. I couldn't bear it.
She would not let anyone else die to save her – not ever. The very thought made her sick. She remembered too well seeing Sora erupt into dust after he turned his keyblade on himself. Never again. Letting someone sacrifice their life for hers was her worst nightmare.
"Where the heck can I take you that's safe?" Demyx wondered aloud. Before he could answer his own question, the floor opened beneath them. "Whoa!"
They fell through the new Doorway of Darkness and landed on sand.
"Ow!"
"Did you really think you could escape me that way? Me?"
Kairi was getting tired of sucking air into burning lungs. She dangled in Demyx's arms, worse than useless, struggling to breathe as he scrambled away from the looming figure who had summoned them back as easily as snapping his fingers. He kept hold of Kairi and she hazily realised he was trying to shield her with her own body. The act was so strange she honestly did not know what to make of it. All her knowledge and experience of Demyx told her he was the worst kind of weak willed, snivelling coward. None of his actions over the past few minutes made any sense.
"Your quest for absolution bores me, Nocturne. I shall be taking the Princess now."
Demyx's grip on her tightened. "Can't we talk about this, boss-man?"
"Talk? And say what? You wish to bargain for a place in my new world order?" Xehanort actually laughed at that. "You betray yourself as easily as you betray your allies, I see."
"Um, not really. 'Cause …" Demyx swallowed. Kairi felt it bob against her forehead. Was he cradling her? She willed her limbs to stop being boneless and unusable. "Given the circumstances and, uh, your history of dumping on everyone even if they're your allies, um, I actually kind of think maybe whatever new world order you plan to make would be really stinkin' … stinky. Yeah. So I, uh … don't think you should … make it?" His voice curled upwards, as if even he was not sure whether this was him making a stand or just reaching the pinnacle of all the stupid decisions he had ever made in his life.
Xehanort's stare could have stripped chrome from steel. "Give her to me."
Demyx took in a breath that huffed the top of Kairi's scalp. "N-no."
"Then you will die and I shall take her anyway."
"Not really a fan of that plan either."
Xehanort brought his keyblade down. Demyx's sitar flashed into his hand – and shattered just as quickly when Xehanort struck it. Kairi felt his whole body shudder with the impact. She wondered whether Nobodies' weapons were a part of them in a way similar to how keyblades were a part of their wielders' hearts. She had never asked Axel that. Maybe never would now.
Shut up, brain! You are completely not helping!
"Crap," Demyx muttered. "We just had to be in a desert instead of an ocean." He rolled sideways, half-crushing Kairi. She let out an involuntary cry. "Sorry, short stuff, but it's this or get shish-kebabed."
"Evasion is impractical, Nocturne. You cannot keep dodging me for long."
"But maybe I can until reinforcements arrive!" Demyx got to his feet and dashed toward a heap of rocks. "Runrunrunrunrunrunrunrun–"
Is he seriously narrating what he's doing? Kairi wondered.
The rocks exploded.
"Yah! Runthatwayrunthatwayrunthatwayrunthatway –"
"I tire of these games, Nocturne."
As she was jostled about, Kairi caught sight of Xehanort performing a hand gesture that looked like a gymnast giving one last flourish to end a routine. A synchronised glimmer of darkness and silver from above drew her attention.
"Dem–" she managed to slur before Xemnas struck. Stupid. Stupid! She had forgotten about him. Of course he was still lurking around. Of course. Like Xehanort would ever play fair.
Demyx's arms clutched tight around her as they went toppling together through the dirt. She heard him grunt into the top of her head, chin jerking in sudden pain. His left hand spasmed and his grip dropped away, leaving his other arm to pick up the slack. They landed awkwardly, Kairi partly slipping from his grasp as he tried to heft her onto his shoulder one-handed.
"Wh … what …?" She lifted her head. Damn it, she needed to shake off this weakness already! All her limbs felt like lead. Stupid darkness. Stupid corridor. Stupid Xehanort. Stupid Xemnas. Stupid – "Demyx!" Her eyes widened, fixed entirely on the lump of black on the ground.
"Fuckity shit fuck ow!" Demy cursed. Sweat beaded on his brow. His face was draining of colour as he looked at his own severed arm too. "Shitshitshit."
Xemnas kicked it aside like it was nothing. The arm dissolved into spirals of darkness, eddying upwards as if drawn into the sky by some unseen force. In only a few eye-blinks the limb was gone, not even disturbed sand to signal where it had been.
Demyx's stump of a shoulder writhed with undulating shadows. "Mrrf … fuck, that hurts." He backed up, away from the advancing Xemnas.
Kairi struggled feebly. "Put me down." She flexed her hand, willing her keyblade into it. After a few desperate calls, it came, though the weight dragged her arm down so it pointed at nothing but the floor.
Demyx's back hit a large outcropping of rock. He hissed, looking left and right, clearly searching for an escape route. "Fuuuuuuuck!
"It is the end, Nocturne," Xehanort called. "Xemnas, finish him and bring the Princess to me."
Kairi endeavoured to make her own body obey her. She broke free of Deny's hold and stumbled into a drunken approximation of a guard stance. Apparently, this act was extraordinary because it actually made Xemnas pause.
"You like to throw your lot in with traitors, don't you?" His rumbling voice thrummed through the soles of her feet. She had always hated that voice.
"Back off, peroxide-brain." Okay, so it wasn't the best comeback in the universe, but she wasn't exactly playing with a full deck here. Strength leeched back into her arms and legs, chasing back the pain-fug in her mind, but it was all too slow. She shifted her grip, concentrating on keeping her arms steady as she raised her keyblade. "You're not going to hurt him again."
Xemnas tilted his head to one side. Emotions were supposed to be unknown to Nobodies but he sure did a believable impression of puzzlement. Then he was gone in a blur of motion that streaked across her vision. She gasped involuntarily, spinning on her heel to throw herself over Demyx like her tiny body could shield even half of his.
"Gah!"
Demyx let out a thick, wet cry, voice clogged by dark liquid. It bubbled up his throat, spilling over his lips and down his chin. Where it dripped onto her hair the purple-black retreated as if physically driven back. Kairi could look nowhere but at his face, lit from below by the bright beam of energy Xemnas had driven through the centre of his chest with the precision of a surgeon's blade. A few strands of Kairi's own cut hair drifted past her face, so close had he come to the top of her own skull. Behind Demyx, the rock spiderwebbed with new cracks.
She was struck in that frozen moment by how young Demyx's fear made him look. Even his gold eyes seemed less adult when lit by the terror of his own mortality. How old had he been before he became a Nobody? Who had he been in his other life?
More things she would never know now.
As if sensing her horrified gaze, his ticked downward. She watched familiar, jittery anxiety she had come to associate with him soften in a brief, unexpected moment of … something. Some emotion Kairi was not equipped to name, but which made her chest ache so much she thought she might throw up. He had a heart; she was certain of it in that moment. How he had gotten it, she did not know, but she was more certain of that fact than anything else: Demyx, a Nobody, somehow had a heart.
And Xemnas had struck it directly.
"Hey … sh-short stuff," Demyx ground out, coughing up wisps of black. "If you s-see that bastard Vexen … tell him I t-tried … okay?"
Kairi opened her mouth to respond. Xemnas wrenched sideways, dragging his energy weapon first one way through Demyx's ribcage, then the other. His whole top half shifted and toppled at an impossible angle. Waves of pure darkness erupted into Kairi's face, ribboning up and over her like she was a rock in a stream.
And then Demyx was gone.
She fell forward, open palm splaying against the cracks in the rock. They were warm where his body had been. Tears sprang to her eyes. She hadn't even known him properly – had, in fact, been his enemy for most of the time she had known him - but he had sacrificed himself trying to save her …
A hand grabbed her shoulder. Working on instinct, she whirled and slashed at it. Xemnas jumped back but not by much. Beyond him, Xehanort smiled his creepy smile, radiating absolute certainty that he would win this fight and every other after it.
Suddenly Kairi wanted nothing more than to bash both of their faces in. Anger coursed through her veins, chasing the last of the Corridor-induced lethargy from them.
"I won't forgive you," she spat, not even sure herself which of their crimes she was referring to anymore – or if she was even speaking to them at all. Hot, furious tears slid down her cheeks.
"Kairi …" Naminé's voice sounded feeble and further away than before.
No!
People were always sacrificing themselves and dying to save her. She had thought that by becoming a keyblader, by training and getting stronger and learning all her lessons, she could prevent that from happening anymore. She was supposed to be able to defend herself and others now. And yet here she was, once again alive only because of someone else's death.
No more. No more!
"Kairi …"
Her free hand went to her chest. Naminé, please hold on. Don't go! Don't lose yourself!
Naminé sounded scared, like a lost little girl looking for her parent's hand in a crowd at the mall. "… Kairi …"
Naminé!
Xemas struck. It was not a death blow this time, but the force of it still vibrated through her. Kairi met and spun inside the attack, letting it glance off her keyblade in a shower of sparks and then reaching to extend her weapon into his midsection. Of course, he was too fast. He danced away, graceful as a striking snake, leaving her to pull back into guard position.
Winning was not an option. She hated the realisation but accepted it anyway. This was no time to be prideful. She could not win against Xehanort or Xemnas alone and certainly not both together. She could prevent them from winning, though, by escaping and thwarting Xehanort's designs on using her to create the X-Blade.
Hold on, Naminé!
Kairi drew herself up, finding her centre as she had been taught. Locating the light inside her heart was easy; channelling it in a particular direction … not so much. She had been getting better at it when her training ended but had not yet mastered her own talents the way Riku and Sora seemed to find so effortless. They had both become experts without any formal training, while she lagged behind them, forever struggling to catch up even with help. Raising her keyblade high, she brought it down at her own feet with enough force to shatter the stone, pushing her light into the tip. It arced into the rocky pedestal on which they stood. She felt resistance and pushed more of herself into the attack, filling her keyblade up with her light so it blazed like a star in her hands. Debris flew up around her. She felt her feet give way as solid rock was reduced to loose shale and her whole body sank. Releasing the attack, Kairi bunched her leg muscles and pushed off, hiding herself into the dust-cloud. She used it as subterfuge, leaping desperately in the first direction she could.
"… Kairi … that way …" Naminé's voice drifted through her mind.
Kairi felt the connection before hearing the name. Her tired heart skipped.
"… Sora …"
She changed course, hurdling from falling stone to falling stone, half-surfing down the rockslide of her own creation. Every footfall had to count. Every jump had to be perfect. One stumble and she was done for.
Holy shit. What the hell was she even thinking? This was insane. Insane! She wasn't Sora or Riku! They could pull off a crazy stunt like this – but not her. She wasn't good enough. Forget Xehanort, she was going to kill herself.
No, I can't afford to die! Naminé needs me to survive.
The floor of the Keyblade Graveyard rocketed up to meet her. It was now or never. Kairi made one last desperate leap, summoning her light again. She had tried this only once before and it had left her so exhausted that Lea had to carry her back to their quarters, where she had slept for two days.
No time for sleep now. She hunched up her arms and legs, forcing her light outwards, beyond the borders of her body, to wrap her in a cocoon of brilliance. Hopefully it would be enough. If not, she wouldn't have time to care for long.
Impact.
She bounced.
Holy crap, it worked!
She bounced again. Cracks appeared in the cocoon. Bits of dirt filtered through. She felt another shuddering impact, probably from some big rock hitting her. Then she was rolling, rolling, rolling without the ability to stop until she fetched up against something solid but unseen through the opaque brilliance. The cocoon peeled back. It was like unclenching a muscle. Kairi gasped, trembling with exhaustion. She was alive. She had made it. She felt like a hundred miles of extremely bad road but she had jumped off a giant disintegrating stone tower and made it.
Which was, of course, when a black-gloved hand reached down and plucked her up by her throat.
No!
"Nice try but no dice."
The voice was wrong. It wasn't scratchy enough. His face was free of creases too and he was much shorter than he should have been. Yet the eyes … she would never not recognise those eyes. Xehanort smiled that creepy smile of his. Even though it was not bracketed by wrinkles she would have known it – and him. It was impossible and yet …
Well. Impossible was relative these days, wasn't it?
She grasped at the hand cutting off her windpipe. Her keyblade fell from her exhausted grip, clattering to the floor and dissolving into gold dust. She kicked out but hit nothing. She even tried biting him. He just smiled and flourished a hand. Circles of light detonated in the sky. The settling debris from her rockslide glowed and began moving backwards, reforming the rock pillar she had just destroyed. Soon there was nothing left of the damage she had caused.
Ansem floated past. As one, she and her captor lifted into the air, heading back towards the top, where Xemas and Xehanort waited like nothing had happened.
Blackness crowded Kairi's vision. She was suffocating again. It had happened so often today that she was getting sick of it. Her legs fell slack. Her grip faltered. Xehanort's impossibly young face shrank to a dot.
"… Kairi …" Naminé sounded so distant and small. "He's … coming. Sora's coming. Riku and … and the King t-too. Hold on, Kairi, just a l-little … longer…"
She was fading fast. Kairi sensed her slipping away, out of her and into the emptiness that claimed all Nobodies when they died. Naminé was losing her grip on Kairi's heart as she reached out further than she should have to Sora, calling him to hurry and save her; sacrificing herself for Kairi's sake.
I said NO MORE! Kairi screamed inside her head. I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO DIE FOR ME!
The connection between her and Naminé blazed with the last bit of strength Kairi could call from her light. She pictured a shining lasso, dragging Naminé back to her, pulling her out of the emptiness and back towards her heart station.
It hurt. Everything hurt. Even the inside of her mind hurt. She was losing consciousness, she knew. She should be concentrating on trying to get free and kick some ass to save herself.
She kept pulling.
"Kairi, don't!"
Stubbornly, she kept pulling.
"Kairi, please –"
I'm not letting you die for me, Naminé.
"But you have to –"
That is not happening!
She was dimly aware of the pressure on her throat easing and air trickling into her lungs but her own body was so far away from her consciousness by that point that it barely registered. She was deep inside herself, standing on a wheel of coloured glass and hauling a struggling blonde figure up over the rim. Holding Naminé's hand was like holding a sunbeam. She stared wildly into Kairi's face, horror etching her delicate features.
"Kairi, you need to wake up. You need to fight –" Her voice was clearer here, intensified by the tether still connecting them. Kairi looked down, feeling like she should be more surprised that her arms literally ended in shining rope instead of hands.
"I can't beat them, Naminé," she said truthfully. "Not all four of them. I never had a shot at surviving this and Xehanort knew it. He set it all up that way. He left nothing to chance. Except you." She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against the other girl's. "He forgot about you."
Naminé reached up to cup Kairi's face with her hands. She was quaking. "They always did unless they wanted something," she whispered. "Please, Kairi, you mustn't give up. Sora's coming. I can feel his mind and heart getting closer."
"Good," Kairi murmured. "I'm sorry, Naminé."
"What?"
"I may not be able to save myself but I can at least save you. Help Sora, if you can. Tell him …" Her mouth felt dry. She swallowed convulsively. "Well … tell him … all the stuff I never got to say, yeah? You know it all already."
"Kairi, no -!"
"Goodbye, Naminé."
With that, Kairi wrapped her in an embrace and squeezed as tight as she could. Naminé cried out, struggling against her, but Kairi flared with the last vestiges of her light and pushed her Nobody down, squashing her protests. It was sickening but she kept going, gulping air with the effort, using every scrap of strength she had left to do this one, important, impossible thing.
But impossible was relative these days. Right?
"Twelve keys we have now." Xehanort's crackly old voice echoed around her. "Leaving just one more."
No, she wasn't ready yet! She had to keep Naminé safe.
"Now, Sora. Darkness and light's final clash!"
Sora? Sora was there? Kairi's skin prickled. She was regaining consciousness, emerging back into the waking world where the sky boiled and the air sizzled with magic. How much time had passed? Time in her heart station was difficult to measure. She hoped she wasn't too late.
"Kairi!" Sora called her name. she heard the desperation clinging to his shout and wanted to smooth it away, to reassure him that she was okay and that everything would be fine, even though it was not and would not be.
I'm not even sixteen yet. I don't want to die…
Holding Naminé's essence close inside, not able to move a muscle outside, Kairi felt suddenly, achingly alone.
She was scared. This really was it. She had fought her hardest and still lost. They all had. Her death would seal her friends' fate unless they could pull a miracle out of the bag.
Good thing Sora and Riku were really good at miracles.
"You require motivation." Xehanort's voice was much clearer now.
Hot wind ruffled her hair. She struggled to open her eyes, wanting to see her loved ones one more time. Her eyelashes brushed her cheeks. She could only crack her lids a tiny sliver, head bowed towards the floor. She was back on the rock pillar. Nothing she had done had made any difference.
Sora was there, running up the pillar like it was nothing.
Kairi wanted to smile. Impossible sure was a relati-
Her back exploded in scorching pain. Xehanort's grunt and the shing of metal told her what had just happened. Pink fire erupted around her. Her head tilted back with the force of her own escaping life. She instinctively tried to summon her light, to hold herself together, but the last of her light was still holding Naminé's essence together and it hurt oh god it hurt so much and Sora was coming was shouting and it hurt but he needed to stay back so he didn't die too and it hurt so much oh god so much there was nothing else in the world but this pain pain pain please Sora save me I don't want to die it hurts please it hurts I'm sorry I'm dying please no Sora I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying –
Kairi shattered, pieces of her consciousness flying in all directions as her body was destroyed.
"KAIRI!" Sora's scream reached a few parts of her that fell away from him together, but she was disappearing, her will fragmenting until there was nothing left. "WHY HER?"
A single fragment glinted as it fell, lit by a cocoon of melting light. It met something, caught hold and lodged there, digging in deep. Utterly spent, the last of Kairi's protective light disappeared, leaving the essence of a forgotten Nobody to unfold safely in the heart of her friend.
Riku's heart convulsed at the sight of Xehanort easily beating Sora back and throwing him right off the stone pillar. His hand fisted in his own shirt when Sora landed and looked up, agonised tears on his face, and yelled brokenly at the man who had murdered their friend.
"Why?"
Riku's heart ached. Kairi was dead. Not just banished, not just in stasis, but killed right in front of them. Even the glittering glasslike fragments of her body had vanished. There was no way to bring her back this time. She was just … gone.
"I have done it!" Xehanort crowed.
Riku turned on his heel and ran into a battle they could no longer win, head filled with thoughts of the girl with whom he had grown up, laughed, cried and crafted all his happiest memories. A triangle could not stand if one of its sides was gone. He remembered Sora's hopelessly reaching hand when the demon storm had stolen their friends away, the raw emotion in his scream at not being able to save them. Kairi's death may break him even if they did survive this fight.
The thought made him swing his keyblade even harder at Xehanort.
Such was his rage and grief that he did not even question why the crying he heard in his heart sounded closer and realer than a memory should have.
Fin.
'I wonder, if I die tonight, will I be 'alive' in your heart?' ~ Sohini Dutta
Snakes and ladders,
Nothing matters
Haunted by the words I never said to you
And it's cruel.
Now I've played my turn
And turned to the skies
And I saw that look burning in your eyes;
How could I be so blind?
You can play the game
But you can't make the rules
It's cruel, so cruel.
If all the world's the stage
Then we all play the fool.
It's cruel.
~ From 'Cruel' by The Everlove