"You ready, Sofia?" I called out, tying my hair back in a messy ponytail. I smiled at the Dora the Explorer bag that sat in front of me. It was too cute. I grabbed the small, pink lunchbox and packed it into the backpack as my 5 year daughter came running out of her room with a tiara on.
"Oh no, dress up day! Take your clothes off." I rushed into mine and Calliope's bedroom, grabbing the fairy costume out of one of our recent shopping bags. I dug through and heard the sound of crunching paper. That shouldn't be in here, I thought as I pulled the scrunched up piece of paper out. I fixed it so it was at least readable and furrowed my eyebrows at the illnesses that were printed in black on the sheet, revealing that someone's blood test was all negative to the disease. I stopped when I reached Huntington's written in red, positive. Then I saw her name at very bottom of the sheet of paper, Calliope.
"Oh my god," I gasped. I grabbed the costume out and then threw the sheet of paper back into the bag. I couldn't look at it any more. I felt sick. She's been hiding this from me, let alone the history behind it. If she's already started to show symptoms, how come I haven't noticed?
"Mommy," a soft voice called from the doorway. I turned and saw my daughter flash me a smile when she saw the dress I held in my hands. I converted my face to happiness for my daughter.
"Come here, baby," I say sweetly as she runs over to me. She put her arms in the air and I slid the dress over her head gently, smiling when I saw how gorgeous she looked. I kissed her forehead, "Come on, let's go."
I couldn't get a grip on this situation the whole trip to Sofia's pre-school. My hands her shaking on the steering wheel and everything around me felt like a blur.
"Mommy."
"Uh, yes baby?" I snapped myself out of my thoughts when I heard my daughter call my name from the back seat.
"Is Mama picking me up today?" She asked politely. I could see her in the review mirror watching all the cars go by. She loved being in the car.
"No, baby. Daddy's picking you up from school today," I smile, pulling over on the side of the road in front of the school. I get out of the car and help Sofia out of her car seat. She turned around, waiting for me to place her backpack on her back.
"Come on fairy princess," I take her hand as we walk through the reception door. I get down on my knees and give her a cuddle and a kiss before handing her over to her teacher.
"Love you, Kiddo."
"Love you too Mommy," she waved in happiness.
"I'm going to ask for something, and I really need for you to think about it."
"Dr Robbins, you're shaking," Webber announced like I had no idea.
"I know and it's because I am going to cry. I'm not going to cry over your intimidation, I'm going to cry because this will mean so much to me if you just think about it," I retort, my voice already croaking. I could feel the warmness of tears welling up in my eyes as I tried to control myself, although I had a good reason for once to cry in front of the chief, let alone any one. He nodded his head, requesting that I announce my thoughts.
"I want to start a Huntington's clinical trial."
He perked his left eyebrow and then repeated, "Huntington's Disease?"
"That's correct, sir," I gulped.
"You work in Pediatric's, Dr Robbins."
"I know sir, but you have to let me do this trial, please, I'm begging you."
Webber gave me a long, intimidating stare before questioning, "Why?"
That one question made me feel as if my legs were too weak to hold my body up. I felt a tear escape and answered, "Callie has Huntington's."
"Dr Robbins, I am-"
"I don't need your consolation Chief. Right now I just need your approval," I sniffed, "or, want."
"She's your wife, this is personal-"
"I'm not asking to be her doctor; I just want to be in the trial. I need to be in the trial. She could have passed the gene onto my daughter and if she did pass it on to Sofia, which we won't know until the future, then Sofia could pass it onto my grandchildren. I want to help find a cure, or just extended their life. Please," I exhale, "I'm begging you."
He gave me another concentrated stare before looking away into the distance. The troubled look on his face concerned me.
"You do understand that this will be the first Huntington's clinical trial at Seattle Grace Mercy West?"
I nodded, "yes."
"What will you do if Dr Torres is deceased before a cure is found?"
"Then I will keep trying. I want this Chief."
"How long has Torres been showing symptoms?" He asked curiously.
"She's around the average age that the symptoms start to show, I'd say she only has 8 years, maybe less," my voice cracked at the last two words. It was barely audible. I sat down in the chair opposite his desk and struggled to keep myself together, just till the end of the conversation.
"And you're absolutely sure she has Huntington's?"
"I looked into her mother's medical files because she never mentioned her mom and she died 9 years ago from Huntington's disease. I'm positive," I wiped away my tears and straightened myself up for Webber's final results.
"I can't trust you to be her doctor on this trial because I'm afraid when you start getting positive feedback that you will do something irrational and mess it all up for the hospital. In other words, you can have the trial, but you can only supervise which ever resident you pick to do Torres' medication."
"Thank you."