Title: It Is All Your Fault
Author: RomaMarufixx
Rating: M
Pairing: Fem!Merlin/Arthur
Summary: Merlin and Arthur have been married for 10 years and have three children together, Charlotte, 8, Alyssa, 6 and Isabel, 3. When Merlin suffers a miscarriage with her fourth child she is sent on a deep emotional turmoil, and it is later found out there is more to the miscarriage than everyone thinks. Fem!Merlin, Arthur/Fem!Merlin.
Word count: 3,795
Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC.
"Father! Father!" Alyssa squealed as she ran down onto the training fields, she was very hyperactive for a six year old, she had always been hyperactive since she could walk and Arthur and Merlin doubt she would ever change.
"Alyssa, stop." Arthur said and she did so immediately. Arthur turned to his knights and dismissed them before turning around to his daughter, who ran into his arms and he swung her around and planted kisses on her face and hair.
"Hello beautiful."
"Hey daddy."
"How are you and your sisters?" he asked.
"We're fine, mummy's been teaching us magic!" the little girl said excitedly.
"Really?"
"Yeah, look!" Alyssa turned to the side and her eyes flashed gold and a couple of small daises grew through the grass. Alyssa squirmed out of her fathers hold and picked a few up and handed then to her father.
"Thank you baby." Alyssa grinned widely and then waved at someone behind him and he turned around the see his wife and his two other daughters standing a few feet away from the training fields.
"Come on, lets go see your mummy and your sisters."
Alyssa nodded and the two walked over to the three girls. Alyssa ran to her sisters telling them about the daises she had grown and given to their father, whilst Arthur hugged and kissed his wife, who was very newly pregnant, just turned three months as Gaius had confirmed.
The two were very happy and were hoping for a son, since they had three daughters and Arthur needed a son to take the throne after he died. Merlin only had another 10 or 15 years of child bearing left and if she could not give him a son in that time then he would have to try for a son with another woman, and that idea broke Merlin's heart and she hoped things wouldn't have to come to that.
"How are you and the baby?"
"We're both fine, Gaius said the baby is healthy and that so am I, although I need to sleep a little bit more."
"Well, if Gaius says it you must do it." Merlin rolled her eyes but didn't argue with her husband as she knew this could go on forever.
1 month later
Arthur had been so busy recently, with problems happening with his people, trying to juggle time with his daughters and his wife and checking up with Gaius and Merlin herself to see how the baby was doing and was hoping for any sign that the baby was a boy.
"Sire?" one of the members of his court said.
"Yes?"
"It is time, sire." Arthur became slightly confused before remembering.
"Of course, where?"
"A small cabin, a few miles away, we should get there in a matter of hours."
"Of course, let's go."
Arthur and a few of his knights arrived in a cabin that was full of maids and a physician and a woman in a bed in the middle of the room, the woman who was currently in labour. The woman...who was Arthur's pregnant mistress, Anne.
"Anne..." he said, crouching beside her and holding her warm hand in his cold ones. "How are you."
"It's hurts, my king, it hurts."
"It will be over soon enough." The king reassured her and then turned to the physician. "How is she doing, is the baby almost here?"
"A few more pushes and the baby will be born."
"Come on Anne, push, push and we will soon have a child." he comforted the woman who nodded and then pushed.
"One more push Anne." the physician said and Anne pushed hard one last time and then a babies cries hit the air and the physician cleaned the baby quickly and handed it over to the king.
"You have a son." the physician congratulated and Arthur smiled, at last he had a son, although the son was not by his wife, he finally had a son. He handed the boy over to his mother.
"As we discussed beforehand, we must have a story for why you were away for so long and who's child is this, you married a knight from another kingdom and became pregnant a short while afterwards, and then your husband was sent off to fight in a war in which he died in, leaving you a widow with his child." Anne nodded. "You must tell no one how the real father of this child is, I can not risk my wife knowing about this." Anne nodded again and her and the King shared a kiss and she handed the baby back to the King before he had to ride off back to Camelot, his wife and his three daughters.
"Make sure there is a chambers set up for Anne and our child, Camelot always welcomes those in need." he said and turned back to Anne as some maids left the cabin to ready chambers in Camelot. "What name shall we give to our son?"
"You are the King, you should be the one to name him." Anne smiled at Arthur.
"Edward." he said simply and Anne smiled.
"I love that name, Edward." Anne smiled at her tiny son.
"I have to leave now and return to Camelot, I hope to see you and Edward there soon." He smiled at the two and kissed Anne before leaving and riding off back to Camelot.
A few days later had Anne and Edward moved into a guest chambers in the castle. Merlin and Arthur were walking down a corridor as Merlin caught sight of Lady Anne with her newborn.
"Who is she?" Merlin asked her husband, whilst pointing into the room and Arthur panicked slightly.
"She is Lady Anne, her husband died in war and just last week she gave birth their child and I offered her a room in the palace as she gets herself back on her feet and to raise her child with the help of some maids I offered her."
"Oh, Arthur you are so sweet." She said and hooked her arm around Arthur's and he smiled, inside he was screaming at himself about how much of a bastard he was.
The next day Merlin went and visited the young woman and her newborn baby.
"Hello." Merlin greeted as she walked into the chambers.
"Good morning, my queen." Lady Anne bowed to Merlin, as much as she could with the tiny infant in her arms.
"How are you and your child?" The Queen asked.
"We are fine thank you and how are you and your unborn child?" Anne asked, pointing at Merlin's small bump.
"I am fine and the baby is starting to make them self known." she smiled and look at Anne's small child. "He is a beautiful baby, what did you call him?" Merlin asked.
"Edward." Anne replied.
"That's lovely name, and one of Arthur's favourites." Anne nodded and bit her tongue. "Well I better be leaving, I promised my daughters I would take them out to the forests to pick flowers." Merlin said and turned around to walk out of the room but someone gripped tightly onto her arm and Merlin turned back around, staring wide eyed at Lady Anne.
"Anne?"
"You know he will tire of you."
"What are you talking about?" Merlin said outraged.
"The King, he will tire of you." Anne repeated herself.
"I think you forget, I am the Queen and what you are saying, I could have you thrown into the dungeons, new mother or not." She said, her voice shaking with anger.
"If you don't give him a son, I can guarantee your marriage will fall down the drain, in fact it is on its way."
"I could be carrying his son right now, and even if I have another daughter, Arthur will still love me and our marriage will not go down the drain, it has not in the ten years we have been together."
"Well, I can tell you over at least the last year, it has."
"And how do you know that?" Merlin asked, almost sarcastically.
"Because he took up another lover to give him another child, the son he wanted, and he got the son."
"What are you talking about? Arthur does not have a mistress nor does he have a son, I should know, I am his wife."
"His wife, not who he loves."
"He does love me."
"Or so you think." Anne said and was rewarded with a slap around her face, a small amount of blood dripping from her nose from the force of the slap.
"You will leave my family alone, or I will make sure that you are thrown out of Camelot along with your son."
"The King would not allow that."
"And why do you think that?"
"Because I am the mother of his son, and Edward is his son." Merlin stared at Anne before staring at Edward who was in his cot, staring up at the two of them, his little blue eyes twinkling, Merlin looked up at Anne and noticed her eyes were brown and she had seen that shade of blue before, they were the same colour as his eyes. Merlin struck Anne once more, knocking her to the ground before storming back to her own chambers.
It was late at night and Merlin had changed into the nightdress and was lying in her bed waiting for Arthur to return to their chambers, she was stressed and in pain, the pain that her husband had spent the past year maybe two with another lover, of whom had become pregnant and had given him what Merlin couldn't give him, a son.
She didn't realise she was crying until she started to sob and then she started having stomach aches, at first she thought it was just the baby moving early, but then she felt something run down her legs, and she was only four months pregnant, so she couldn't be going into labour.
She threw the blankets off her and knelt on the bed to see a huge blood spot at the bottom of her white silk dress, blood running down her thighs and onto the white bed sheets below her.
"No, no, no." she chanted as she held her hands over the blood patch. "No, please." she sobbed, tear stains forming in the bed sheets as well as blood stains. "Please, please, don't let this be happening..." she sobbed some more as the blood continuing to trickle down her legs.
"Gwen!" Merlin screamed out, she didn't want Arthur to see her like this and she certainly didn't want him to know that she was having a miscarriage as their relationship would go down the drain quicker than it was going to. "Guinevere." she shouted louder and her maidservant and best friend ran into the room and clapped a hand over her mouth as she saw Merlin, covered in blood from the waist down and on her hands and she was sobbing violently.
"Oh Merlin." Gwen sobbed and made her way to the bed and sat by Merlin's side, her skirt slightly in the blood but no caring about that only wanting to comfort her friend, letting her sob into the crook between her head and shoulder, whilst her hands remained by the blood spot, not wanting to come to terms with the loss of her child.
"Guards!" Gwen called out as Merlin continued to sob into her neck. A few seconds later two guards who normally stand by Merlin and Arthur's chambers came in and for a second stared at the sight before them, it was very obvious that their Queen was in the progress of having miscarriage and her maidservant was comforting her.
"Get Gaius the royal physician and do not tell anyone, especially King Arthur, about what is going on here." The guards nodded and quickly made their way out of the chambers to collect Gaius.
"Merlin?" There was no answer, only more sobbing. "Merlin, why did this happen? Gaius said, only last week, that the baby was healthy."
"The baby was healthy." Merlin said through her sobbing.
"Then what happened?" Gwen asked her friends.
"Arthur is a massive bastard." she sobbed.
"What did he do?" Gwen asked, angry at the man without even knowing what he had done, but if it was enough to give Merlin a miscarriage it must be very serious.
"He's been having an affair for a year, maybe two." Gwen's eyes widened, that was not something that she could have thought of, how could Arthur do that to Merlin, Merlin has always been faithful and loyal to Arthur and would do nothing to hurt him.
"Why would he do that to you?"
"I can't give him a son, so he went to someone else who could give him a son, and they have."
"Arthur has a son?"
"Yes." Merlin chocked out.
"By another woman?" Merlin nodded.
"Yes, his mistress Lady Anne."
"Lady Anne? The woman who had a baby recently, just after her husband died?" Gwen asked in confusion.
"It was all a set up, to prevent people from finding out the truth." Merlin sobbed. "Lady Anne told me herself, and at first I thought she was just being spiteful but I looked closer at the child and you could just see Arthur in him, especially his eyes, his name is Edward and he is the perfect son for Arthur!" Merlin said and she couldn't continue as sobs rattled her body again, making her unable to speak.
A knock at the door to the chambers caught both of their attentions and Gwen called out for the person to come in, which was Gaius. His expression changed to curiosity to horror as he caught sight of the bloody queen kneeling on the bed, her head resting against Guinevere.
"Merlin..." he said sympathetically and made his way over to the bed. "You..."
"I know what has happened Gaius, I've lost my child..." she said before dissolving into sobs again and Gaius turned to Gwen, but spoke to both of them.
"When I last checked, you and your baby were perfectly healthy, have you been under any stress lately?" Gaius asked.
"Yes, she has, terrible stress and betrayal." Gwen answered for Merlin.
"And what is that, if you do not mind me asking." he asked both of them.
"Arthur has been in an affair for over a year and he has a son by another woman, the woman happens to be Lady Anne, the woman staying in Camelot with the newborn baby." Gaius stared at Gwen, hardly believing what she was staying, but it made sense that this would distress Merlin enough to send her into a miscarriage.
Gaius made quick work of checking Merlin over and cleaning her up as Gwen changed the bloody sheets to fresh ones. Gaius had made sure that the baby was indeed dead and not injured, Gaius had told her that her stomach would go down, with the child no longer there, and it would go down quicker with exercise.
Gaius had extracted what was left of the baby, a tiny shrivelled thing that Merlin didn't look at, she had already cried enough, she didn't need to do so any more. After everything was done, Merlin went to sleep after Gaius told her it was the best thing to do to lower her stress levels and get over the fact she had, had a miscarriage, although it would takes years to get over it or maybe just years to get used to it, it would remain with her forever.
Gaius and Gwen were still in the room when Arthur came in.
"Gwen, Gaius, what can I do for you?" he asked, looking between the two of them and Merlin who was sleeping in their bed.
"We were waiting for you." Gaius answered him.
"And why were you waiting for me?"
"We wanted to talk to you about the events of this evening." Gwen said.
"What events?" Arthur asked, taking his crown off his head and walking over to the dresser to place it down.
"Merlin's miscarriage." Gwen stated simply and Arthur dropped his crown and spun around, his face painted with shock as he stared at the two.
"M...Merlin, Merlin had a miscarriage?" Gwen and Gaius nodded. "When?"
"A few hours ago." Gaius said.
"Why did no one tell me?" Arthur said outraged.
"Merlin didn't want you to know, we shouldn't even be telling you now." Gwen replied.
"What are you talking about?" Arthur asked.
"Lady Anne and Edward is what we are talking about sire." Gaius said.
"...What?" Arthur said, his heart pounding against his chest.
"Sire, Merlin found out about the long time affair you have been having with Lady Anne and that Anne became pregnant with your child and she bore you a son, Edward." Gaius explained.
"That upset her the most, Anne did something that Merlin couldn't do for you...she bored you a son and now Merlin has lost the fourth child she was going to give you...Merlin may not be able to give you a son, sire, but she has given you three wonderful, beautiful and intelligent children, and you should be forever grateful to her, instead you have betrayed her behind her back and caused her miscarriage." Gwen ranted. "I'm sorry, Sire." Gwen apologised afterwards.
Arthur was speechless, he literally had nothing to say, he could not disagree with what Gwen had said because it was all true. Gwen and Gaius took his silence as a cue to leave and Arthur stood stunned in the middle of his chambers, a few minutes later he decided to go to bed and to confront Merlin in the morning about her miscarriage and about Lady Anne and Edward.
Merlin woke up early, and noticed Arthur sleeping by her side and her eyes widened, she tried to move away from him but her stomach and lower regions ached from his miscarriage last night and that memory brought tears to her eyes which began to spill down her face.
"Merlin?" he husband said. "Why are you crying?" he said, sleep still in his voice and Merlin glared at him before slowly moving off of the bed, holding her stomach in pain, also noticing that it had flattened slightly, it even looked as if it had flattened she noticed as she walked past the mirror by their bed.
"Merlin?" he repeated, looking her up and down also noticing the decrease in her baby bump, obviously because of her miscarriage. "You do know Gwen and Gaius told me...that...that you had a miscarriage last night." Merlin spun around as quickly as she could without causing herself much pain.
"They told you!?" she yelled.
"Yes they did, and they should have told me sooner."
"I didn't want you to know." she sobbed and turned away from Arthur, not wanting him to see her cry more. Arthur got out of the bed and walked over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders to comfort her but she shrugged him off walking over to her wardrobe to dress herself for today.
"Merlin, please talk to me..." he begged.
"And what do you expect me to say!?" Merlin said, wincing slightly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me having a miscarriage because I found out that you had been fucking another woman behind my back for more than a year and you now have a son by her, a son that I couldn't give you, do our daughters mean nothing to you? Are you not willing to wait for me to give you a son?" she screamed at him, tears just flowing down her face as she stared at her husband who was in shock of her cursing and what she had said.
"Merlin, please just listen to me, let me explain things."
"There is nothing left to explain." Merlin said, picking out a dress from her wardrobe which happened to be in Pendragon red, so she threw it to the floor with a look of disgust before picking out a blue one with the same design.
"Yes there is!"
"Like what?"
"Merlin..."
"You know what?" Merlin shouted, throwing her dress on the bed. "I would have the royal court file a divorce for us right now and I would leave Camelot if it wasn't for our daughters and because of you I now have to tell our children that they are not having another sibling, they are not possibly going to get the brother they have wanted and I have to tell everyone of our friends, and the court, and the people of Camelot, I have to have people look at me with sympathy and I have to suffer this emotional trauma for the rest or my life...and I'm not just talking about my miscarriage!" she shouted, grabbing her dress and going behind the screen to take off her nightdress and put on her blue dress.
"Merlin...please." Merlin can out from the screen, fully dressed, and glared at her husband even more than she already had this morning.
"Arthur, I hate you, I am moving out of these chambers to my own, I am never going to have sex with you again, so you may as well keep your relationship going with that slut of a whore Anne but I can tell you one thing, your bastard son will not be taking Camelot's throne." Arthur's heart broke at her words, especially the dissolving state of their marriage.
"If that is what you wish, I will see to it that you have chambers ready for tonight." Arthur said, not looking at Merlin. "What will we tell the court and the people?" Arthur asked.
"The people and the court will hear of our miscarriage, otherwise there will be much confusion, although we will tell our daughters first, they are family and they deserve to know first. As for our marriage, everything will stay the same in public eye although there will be no kissing and no touching, only when necessary." Arthur nodded.
"Of course...and...if Edward...the child, will not take the throne of Camelot...who will?" Arthur asked nervously, hoping his question wouldn't upset or anger Merlin any further.
"Charlotte of course, she is the eldest of our children."
"But..."
"She is not male, I know, but she is the oldest child and thus she will take the throne, she is both of our child, Edward is just the result of you being an unfaithful bastard." she said and then walked out of the room leaving Arthur alone and only then did Arthur let the tears fall from his eyes.