A Little Longer
By: Riley
Summary- Cisco wonders what it is that's really holding Caitlin back. [Prompt From Tumblr].
Cisco wondered if Caitlin—sorry, Killer Frost—was using her powers to keep him rooted in place as he frantically tried to conjure up the ability to turn back time. To take the words of his confession back as soon as he saw Caitlin's gaze turn to him, brown eyes darkening with…something.
The fact they darkened wasn't good. He'd seen her look like that before, it was never a good thing.
And it certainly wasn't a good thing to have in return to some of the most precious feelings he'd kept to himself as long as he could, since meeting her years before.
"Cisco…" Caitlin started.
"Uh-oh," Cisco murmured.
Caitlin blinked in surprise, then regarded him suspiciously. "What?" She asked.
"Starting a sentence with someone's name, right after they confess something, it's never a good thing."
Realization dawned across Caitlin's face. She cleared her throat, parted her pink lips—lips that Cisco fantasized about pressing against his for as long as he could remember—and ran her tongue against it. She reached up a finger to flick away the strand of hair that wasn't actually falling into her eyes. Giving her a moment longer to think. "That's not true," she finally said.
"Really?" Cisco managed to put a tone of humor into his voice as he crossed his arms. "It's right up there along with 'we need to talk' and 'is there something you want to tell me?' and 'do these pants make me look fat?' to put more than a chill in anyone's bones." He bobbed his head. "Pun intended."
That made Caitlin give him an almost reproachful look in response. "Cisco…"
"See, there you go again! Making me wonder what I could have done in a past life that would have me stuck in this hell hole of a situation."
Caitlin finally turned to fully face him, turning her back to the Cortex, to the monitors that tracked Barry's every move as he zipped through, taking down petty crime. What a great time for Cisco to blurt out his feelings for Caitlin, maybe it was the duress Barry could bring himself into, the high stakes situations he and Caitlin had to get the speedster out of time and time again, that made Cisco's nervous worry blurt out everything on autopilot.
Again, he wished he was a speedster and could turn back time, especially when Caitlin said, "It's not you, Cisco," she said quietly, almost in a breathless whisper."
"Of course it's not me," Cisco said sarcastically. "Every time I get rejected by some of the best girls I've ever gotten to know, it's never my fault. It's you."
"It is me," Caitlin insisted. Cisco could hear the earnest sincerity in her voice, making him finally look her in the eye. She looked back at him, brown eyes misty. "Every guy I've come across over the last few years, something has happened to them. They've…they've all died Cisco. Because of me."
Cisco shook his head. "That's not your fault, Cait."
She continued, as if not hearing him. "How do you expect me to feel if the same thing happened to you?"
"Nothing's going to happen to me."
"You don't know that," she said patiently. "None of us do and…I know you'd never hurt me, Cisco. I love that about you. You never have." Cisco felt his heart soar, hearing her say the word out loud. Nevertheless, he knew it was something she worried about, she hadn't dated in a few years, said she didn't want it. And yet, there had to be something there. She shook her head as Cisco continued to stare at her. "Cisco, please…"
"If you know I wouldn't do that, why wouldn't you want to try this?" Cisco murmured. He was growing tired of the same bullshit, of her being afraid of everything. She was afraid to love after Ronnie and seemed to do that well, she was afraid of Killer Frost and moved on from that, and he'd been there every step of the way, things worked out nicely. Why would she continued to allow herself to be afraid?
Why did she continued to let fear drape on her like a childhood blanket, growing tinier by the year but a constant fixture in her life, unable to be completely forgotten.
Caitlin started to get up.
Cisco grabbed her wrist. "Hey," he whispered. "Can't you stay a little longer? Don't leave."
"Why not, Cisco?" She asked warily, tone dropping to a whisper as well. "I'm just going to hurt you, we both know that." She swallowed hard. "I'm…I'm not afraid of you hurting me, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you. I'm afraid I'll lose control." She shook her head, almost frantically. "I can't have that happen."
Cisco stood and wrapped his arms around her. Pulled her to his body, comforted her as she dropped her forehead to his chest, taking in shaky breaths, trying to calm. Cisco had wanted something like that for a long time, for her to finally submit to her feelings. And she was.
Just not the way he'd expected.
He could wait.
He'd waited long enough.
The End