i got on da hogwartz xpress nd I couldnt find a compartment dat didn't reject me. so I had to sit on da florr. but den I found 1 wiv just 1 boi sittin alone so I decided to sit in der cause my bum hurt. he was a slytherin, but oh well when my bum hurts I have to sit down properly yknowz?
Coz I am so sexii I wasnt scared of da boi so i did ma flirty eyes nd showed him ma wand (ew not THAT u perv pedo, Im gurl anyways duh!) which waz made of pure solidified troll excretion. it had a core of sloth hair clippings. it waz well gd. BUT…. he waz a massive moody pants! he totes ignoredz me and read sum stoopid book bout spellz or sumthing idek. clearly he tinks he is 2 gd 4 me but I don't see HIM with any friends… OOH BURN!
wen we got 2 hogwitz I scrambled sexily away frm da bitch boy nd scurried to ma common womb. dat is gryffindor coz I'm brav lyk. I pettd da houzelf coz I am so nice and friendly but den hermyieone came and started lecturing about house elfs rights n stuff. Ma toad was croakin coz he has a throat infection poor bb but i had to chuck it at crookshanks haha cant be tamed i am a bad witch put meh in tha dungeon harreh!
just den I saw him… the boy who lived… the wizard equivalent of sac efron… the most breasvt nd famoust wizard ever (at lest I tink, I am muffle born so idk 4 sho)… the most bootiful boy eva… HARI POTTA!
'hai hairy,' I sed nd den realised my mistack, 'OH NO MY FREUDIAN SLIP! I mean Harry!' I corrnected hurriedly blushin.
he looked at me lyk I waz a supa freak frm mars bar OH NO I MADE A FOOL OUT OF MYSELF I fort rapidly. harreh went n talked 2 da ginga called won weazy or sumthink. I'm not a nazi or anyhtnik but all gingas shod be exterminated lol.