Her Ship Came In

She promised herself that wouldn't do it again, swore she had had enough, that she was over it, time to move on, she had even covered her ears when she heard the ship's horn as it entered the harbor, but here she was again. She did not remember how she got here but here she stood at the edge of the crowd watching as the tugs maneuvered the massive ship into position. Lines were thrown and winched tight binding the floating city to the pier. She stepped back as people continued to arrive. It was bad enough that she was here; she did not need to be in the center. She stepped aside and indicated to a young girl behind her shoulder to go ahead eliciting a huge smile which she mimicked as best as she could. Let those with loved ones in close.

The crowd noise was growing steadily, being echoed by the passengers who lined the ships rail. The gangway began to move and the volume grew, peaking as it touched down and was set. The barriers that had been placed to keep the crowd back were being stressed to the limit. The military band played on or maybe they were just going through the motions, the crowd had drowned them out.

The war was over and they were here to welcome their hero's home. Somewhere on that massive ship were their loved ones, their sons, and husbands, boyfriends, daughters and even daughter-in-laws. The crowd was jubilant.

The crowd noise began to subside as they waited. Finally some of the soldiers began the descent and the crowd roared again. Young men in full dress uniform carrying their duffle bags scanned the crowd until they reached the bottom and then ran to awaiting relatives. A steady stream of men made the trip down and their final run as the tears trickled down her cheeks. As each service man or woman stepped off the gangway she imagined the next one would be … she convinced herself that he was still below, helping the wounded. He was like that, always thinking of others. That was just one of the things that made her love him.

Finally the crowd had thinned to the point where the only ones left were standing in family groups talking, waiting for someone to fetch the car or for the taxi to come. Even the injured had gone.

The emotions, the pain of losing, the pain of abandonment were too much and her mind slipped into 'if only'. 'If only he had lived I would be here walking towards...' That thought sent a message to her feet and she began to move slowly, resolutely toward the ship and its beckoning gangway. 'I would walk right up to the guard and he would say,

Funny how the mind works, she thought. My imagination is so good that I can even hear his voice and his Brooklyn accent. She looked up the long ramp and saw him standing at the top. He looked so splendid in his uniform, the sun behind casting a halo around him. He was her angel, though he always said she was his angel and he was her knight in shining armor. She waved to him and he doffed his hat and waved it over his head returning her greeting as he began to descend the ramp. Slowly at first then gaining momentum he made his way down toward her. As he got closer her heart swelled with pride and a lump formed in her throat. She saw the smile, the secret smile he reserved just for her and she returned it. Tears coursed down her face as he slipped past the guard, opened his arms and she rushed into his embrace. Strong arms envelope her, warming, protecting and loving her.

It was so real she could feel the rough texture of his jacket against her face. She could even smell his pipe tobacco though it was not his usual. She still went to the tobacconist just to smell his brand. He must have changed brands; probably couldn't get his usual over in Europe. She listened to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. Life was complete. Not wanting it to end she held on, laughing and crying with joy.

Finally with his lips close to her ear he says, "I've missed you," in his familiar Boston accent. Her brain only vaguely registered the reality of the rich cultured voice that said, "What a wonderful welcome home. Thank you." Her brain glossed over the inconsistency. Nothing mattered because Lloyd was home.

Finally the arms that held her eased back and though she wanted to resist, she also released her hold, leaning back and opening her eyes. She wanted to look into his clear blue eyes before she kissed him but gasped instead.

It…

Wasn't…

Him!

This was no dream and she was in the arms of a stranger. Jolted back to reality, she blinked and propelled herself back, quickly wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "Sorry, I, …I just..." She felt so foolish, caught daydreaming about the dead. Her euphoria imploded like a squashed bug and the pain rushed in. Her eyes watered again and her throat closed as she began to turn but was stopped by a sympathetic voice, so warm and apologetic. "I am sorry I am not who you expected," he looked sad, "but it was so good of you to come and welcome us back. I do apologize for hugging you but when you …I am sorry. You looked how I felt, tired, lonely, in need of a hug."

She looked closer. He was very tall, with dark hair, cut short, and warm brown eyes, eyes you could get lost in. He was very handsome, even a woman in love with someone else could concede that, the smile was beautiful but there was pain behind it. He had seen things that had scarred his soul. Wrapped in her own misery, she had not considered how anyone else would feel especially here surrounded by the jubilation that she had just witnessed. She was not alone in her misery, there were others as well. Her eyes began to fill with tears but this time they were not for her but for all the others who were going through the pain of losing a loved one.

Strong arms enveloped her again and she hung on as she melted, literally, her heart that had stopped the day she read the telegram began to beat again, tentatively at first then stronger, her eyes were filled with tears but they were no longer tears of loss but tears of release. The pain that had frozen her soul began to ease. She cried as his arms held her, supported her, and comforted her. She was unaware how long he held her, it must have been too long but he showed no sign of letting go. His voice was warm, reassuring, though she did not understand the words, the meaning came through. "Tutto sara gusto" She could have stayed there forever. She felt warm and safe, protected but knew she could not stay. She let go and his arms lowered then grabbing her hand he said, "Come, meet my friends." The smile on his face was contagious. The guard tried to intercede but was told, "It is all right, she is with me." He turned and began towing her up the gangway. She had trouble keeping up with his long legged stride; it was like trying to keep up with an eager child on their way to toy land

Once they reached the top they stepped on deck and he put his arm around her shoulders. For some reason, she expected motion. The row boat she and Lloyd had rented last summer before he left, was tippy. Maybe that was because this boat was so much bigger and it was big. She looked, or tried to look, from one end to the other but with the curve, so could not see it all.

The handsome stranger turned to her and said quietly, "I am sorry, I have forgotten my manners. My name is Cesare. What is your name?" After listening for her answer he smiled. "Your name suits you, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman." Before she could blush she was pulled along toward the forward rail where three other men stood watching their approach. It was then she noticed they were civilians.

The three men at the rail were all smiling, pleased to see her. The first to step forward was just a little taller than she was, dark hair and eyes like hers. "Hello," he said as he held out his hand. "My name's Rudy but you can call me Casino." His smile was beautiful coming straight from his heart. Here was a man of passion and feelings.

Next was a thinner man with blonde hair and twinkling blue eyes. His grin was that of a child but she saw the pain there too especially when he shifted the cane from his right to his left so he too could shake her hand. She stepped forward so he would not have to move and she caught the gratitude on his face. "'allo luv. Name's Rodney, but call me Goniff. All me friends do."

"This is Rainie," said Cesare as he gestured to the third man standing off to the side. "He doesn't talk much but he is a good man." She watched the silent one. He nodded politely and the lips moved but no sound came out. He had not moved but remained with his elbows on the rail. His eyes were haunted. Even the comment that he was a good man had had no effect on his expression.

After the introductions were completed she looked around for something to say. Seeing their manner of dress she said, "I see you are all eager to become civilians again." Apparently they were unsure what she meant so she tried to clarify by saying, "You've already taken off your uniforms." They smiled but she noticed that Rudy had leaned forward turning his head slightly.

"We were, or still are until tomorrow, civilian technicians working for the Army. We did not have uniforms."

"Unless we borrowed them," added Rodney. That earned him a warning glance from Cesare.

"Well, thank you for bringing me. It was nice meeting you."

"Believe me, the pleasure was all mine." Actor's voice made her blush. He sounded so sincere.

"You are the prettiest girl we've seen in a very long time. The pleasure was all ours. Hey," said Casino, "we'll be going dockside as soon as the W … our CO gets here. Can you wait a bit? Then maybe we can all go for a bite to eat. Wadda ya say? We're buyin'."

She had to smile at his eagerness. She had had other invitations from men, she was attractive and charming, but never quite like this. "I don't know." She looked down at her clothes and touched her face. She was dressed respectably but knew her face was a mess from all the tears.

"What? You think you're the only girl in New York City that cried? The whole dock was full of'm." Casino grinned and then added gently, "Tears of happiness. Please come with us. It would make us very happy."

She was shocked by the whoop of joy that Casino let out when she agreed. Actor was immediately at her elbow ready to escort her and Casino beat Goniff to her other side only because of his inability to move fast. He did yell at him for almost kicking his cane. They were comical in their eagerness. She had to smile at their antics but she felt bad when she saw Goniff and Rainie being left out. She would insist on sitting between them. That would make up for it.

Then she saw their C.O. She had pictured and older man, a much older man. The tall athletic blonde who strode up to them was young and very good looking. The eye patch that he sported along with the crooked smile just added to his charm. She could not help smiling in return. He walked up to her and introduced himself. "Hello. I see you have met my men. My name is Craig." He took her hand, a good solid grasp by a warm hand.

No one who has ever gone to war has ever returned the same as they left. What they see, what they have to do changes them forever. The men who stood at the rail had been changed, some for the better, some for the worse.