Silence

Author: Tracy

Summary: Will's worried about Helen

Category, Romance, Angst

Rating: PG

Pairing: Will/Helen

Parts: 1/1

Spoilers: The Five, Requiem

Feedback: Yes, please, to

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, just borrowing them for a while.

Author's notes: My first Sanctuary fic. I had a picture of Will following Helen in the snow and this is the story that came out of it.

*****

The snow fell silently, blanketing the city in white. Will's breath huffed out in front of him in a cloud. He was careful to keep his distance from her as he followed her footsteps.

He had been waiting for Helen to make a move, and tonight she had done just that. After she and Ashley had returned from Rome, the tension at the Sanctuary had been palpable. She and Ashley barely spoke. Dinner was the worst. He and Henry would exchange uncomfortable looks as the two women picked at their food and could not be drawn into conversation, answering in monosyllables when either he or Henry tried to talk to them. Even the Big Guy was walking around on eggshells.

He had deduced from a few things Ashley let slip that Druitt was present in Rome, and he figured Ashley had discovered the truth. The truth that Jack the Ripper was her father. That had to be a tough pill to swallow. He tried to get her to talk to him, but she would make some flip remark and find a way to get away from him. She was a lot like her mother in that regard.

Helen's silence was different. She was obviously worried about Ashley. He could tell that from the looks she cast toward her daughter now and then, but there was something else. Something he couldn't figure out. He caught her one day looking longingly at an old sepia-tone picture of Druitt and herself, taken at the turn of the century. When Will had made his presence known, she'd hastily put it back in her desk drawer and tried to act her normal, confident self, but he saw the shadows in her eyes.

Then there was the issue that had been bothering him the most. It was the most personal for him. When he and Helen had returned from the Bermuda Triangle, he'd had a hard time dealing with the event and his actions. One night he'd gone to her after a particularly bad dream, barging into her room without knocking. She'd looked up startled from the side of her bed.

"Will?" She stood.

"Helen," he began, approaching her. He saw a mild look of surprise cross her face. He usually called her 'Magnus.' "I killed you, I killed you." His words were a bit slurred from sleep.

She gave him a look of understanding and a gentle smile. She put a hand on his shoulder. "No, Will, you saved me. It had to be done. Don't torture yourself over this."

Distraught, he shook his head. He speared his fingers into her hair on either side of her face and kissed her. She made a sound of distress and tried to push him away. "Will. What are you doing?"

He was consumed by his feelings for this woman, consumed by the emotion his dreams had dredged up. "I killed you. I need to know you're alive. Show me you're alive."

To his surprise she'd given him a considering look, and then took his hand to lead him to her bed. He lost himself in her that night. He let loose all the passion he was feeling for this woman, giving himself up to the feel of her, the taste of her, her scent, the sounds she made in ecstasy, pounding himself into her in an effort to banish his demons, to prove she was really alive. She was everything he'd imagined she'd be and more.

He awoke later to find her sitting on the side of the bed, sheet wrapped around her waist, weeping softly. He sat up and wrapped an arm around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He said quietly.

She shook her head. "This was wrong, Will. It can't happen again."

Will found himself holding her more tightly, more possessively. "Why? Wasn't it good for you?"

She turned her head, coming almost nose to nose with him. She gave him a watery smile. "A little too good, I'm afraid." She kissed him softly.

Will smiled back, stroking a tear from her cheek. "Then what's the problem? We're two consenting adults, and I want you, Helen. You know how I feel about you."

She reached up a hand to stroke his face. "Will, there are things about me you don't understand, things I can never give you. It would be wrong of me to take advantage of you like that."

Will gave her a quirky smile. "Hey, take advantage all you want. I'm not objecting."

She huffed out a small laugh, then lowered her head, hiding in the fall of her hair. She shook her head. "I can't. I care for you too much to do that to you. There are things from my past…"

"Druitt?" The word stuck in his throat.

She raised her head to look him squarely in the face, holding the sheet a little more securely around herself. "Yes." She said it almost reluctantly.

What more could be said?

****

So, Will's tension added to Helen and Ashley's. He just had a feeling Helen was preparing to make a move that would change everything. He didn't know what it would be or when the hammer would fall, but he found himself watching her carefully.

Tonight she'd excused herself early in the evening and gone to her room. All his "Spidey senses" as Meg had called them, were on alert. He found himself lurking near the bottom of the stairs that led to the front door. Finally he heard footsteps at the top of the stairs, and concealed himself in the shadows. Helen came down the stairs dressed more elaborately than usual. She had on a dress under her coat, and she had put her hair up in a very feminine looking style that accented her eyes. She had on diamond earrings and she passed by him so closely on her way to the door that he could smell her perfume.

He watched her go out the door and gave her a few seconds time before he followed.

*****

It was easy to see which way she'd gone by the footprints she left in the snow. He turned a corner and the footprints had stopped. He looked around but didn't see which way she'd gone. Had he lost her?

"Will, why are you following me?" She suddenly appeared out of the shadows.

He tried to hide his surprise. "Helen, don't do this."

"Do what?" She looked both annoyed and uncomfortable.

"You're going to him, aren't you? Druitt?"

She looked away from him for a moment, then back. "If you must know, yes. He contacted me tonight."

Will gave her an incredulous look. "Why would you do that? He's insane."

Helen gave a quick shake of her head. "Not anymore. Ashley told me. In Rome, he was better, himself again."

"What? How?"

"When Tesla tried to turn him, he used an electric device. The device that turned the Kabal men into vampires. It didn't turn John, but it restored him to himself. Actually drove away the madness in him."

"Helen," Will took her by the arm. "You can't believe this. It can't last."

She gently extracted herself. "I have to take that chance." She gave him a hard look. Don't follow me, Will. Please."

He watched her go feeling both defeated and desperate. When she was lost from sight he shouted after her, "Helen! Don't believe this! It's not real! It won't last!"

She was gone.

She had gone to him.

Fin