This was kind of inspired by the song called The Jack by AC/DC. I know that song is actually talking about some kind of STI (at least, that's what my mother told me when I was a kid), but I thought, if you took "Jack" as "information", it could apply to them as well.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or anything associated with it. All rights to Doctor Who and affiliated products belong to the BBC and the other proper entities.
Summary: When he was younger, the Doctor would have described his timeline with River Song as like playing a game of chess.
Rating: G
Genre: Romance/Family
Warnings: None.
Ace-High
When he was younger, the Doctor would have described his timeline with River Song as like playing a game of chess. They moved the pieces around the board, gauging the other's reactions and attempting to foresee the other's next play. It was a game of strategy and wits, whereby they tested the waters to see which moves were legal in any given situation.
Now, he rather thinks it's more like playing a game of poker.
When he'd first met her, he hadn't even known he'd been dealt a hand, while she'd held a royal flush. She'd teased him all the way through the hand, hinting and prodding and raising the stakes the entire time. He'd prodded right back, trying to get her to reveal her cards. She'd stubbornly played them close to her chest, until the end, when she'd laid out specific cards for him to see. Not all of them—he wasn't allowed to see the full hand, yet.
The second time he'd met her, he'd had an ace-high. He knew something that she did not, but she still won the pool, disappearing with a smile and flirtatious wink. Afterward, he'd sat in the TARDIS and contemplated his cards. The next time, his hand would be slightly better. And even better the time after that, and so on.
Until the time came when he held the four of a kind, and she was blinking down at her cards in confusion, unaware that she'd been cajoled into a game. He'd undoubtedly won that pool.
And then came Utah, the alternate timeline and Area 52—he'd unquestionably held the superior hand, but she thought she'd called his bluff and raised the stakes. That interlude had been a round of fierce goading and betting and one of the best pokerfaces he'd ever pulled off. She'd been so new to the game, betting too much and fumbling with her cards, but standing strong behind her hand. He'd had to reveal his own before she'd put her cards away.
After that, they played much more random hands. Sometimes she would hold the better cards, sometimes he would. He'd never considered himself a betting man: But then he knew that he was often wrong about these things.
He was grumbling as she shuffled the cards, eyeing his pile of M&Ms sourly.
"We can stop anytime you like, sweetie." River pointed out as she put up her ante of one M&M and began to deal the cards.
"Stop?" He raised his eyes to her, quickly. "Who said anything about stopping? I'm not stopping! Are you stopping? Are you forfeiting? Because I wouldn't think less of you if you did."
"I'm not forfeiting, honey." She rolled her eyes. "Why would I forfeit when I'm winning?"
"You are not winning, River Song." He pointed a finger at her accusingly as he slid forward an M&M for his ante. "You are cheating."
"So are you." She eyed the cuffs of his shirt. She'd seen him hide and remove cards from them more than once, and he knew it. "I can't help it that I'm better at it than you are."
"You are not." He said sourly.
"Out of the two of us," she put the deck down and picked up her hand. He mirrored her, "which of us has the larger pile?"
He pouted, the surly expression melting away as he eyed his cards. He coaxed his face into perfect neutrality, barely containing his glee. He glanced up to see River contemplating her cards, perfect poker face in place, and allowed himself an internal snigger. No matter how much she cheated, she wasn't going to beat this hand. And he'd gotten it fair and square!
Calmly, he denied the opportunity to burn any cards, and placed two M&Ms in between them while River discarded two cards and took replacements. She contemplated them for a moment before pushing three M&Ms forward, which he answered with four more. She regarded him levelly before pushing forward another four. "Show me, then." She raised an eyebrow.
He laid out his royal flush with a whoop, scooping the tiny chocolates into his pile. Since they'd been playing with a jumbo bag that Amy had given River the last time River had seen her (sometime yet in the Doctor's future), it hadn't really made much of a dent in his wife's pile.
"You got lucky." River mock-glared at him, visibly enjoying the Doctor's large, childish smile.
"I hope you're not using that as a euphemism!" A Scottish voice boomed out from behind the closed door of the billiard room.
"No, Mother!" River called back sweetly. "We're decent!"
"Good." Amy huffed, pushing the door open and striding forward to observe them. She was still in her nightdress and robe, feet stuffed into slippers. "I do not need to see that again." She huffed, shuddering at the memory of walking in on them in the library the week before (in her timeline. Judging by the way River raised her eyebrows at the Doctor, it hadn't happened for her yet). "Rory's still asleep. Thought I'd come to see if you were still on board." She explained, eyeing the table. "What're you playing?"
"Poker." The Doctor held up the cards as he shuffled them.
"With chocolate?" Amy raised her eyebrows. "God, I haven't done that since I was… sixteen?"
"I remember that night." River laughed. "We spiked Alice's coke and watched her bounce around the house for three hours."
Amy laughed, sitting down between them, watching them play another round. Now that they had an audience, they betted a lot more aggressively, showing off. "Do you mind if I join you?" She asked a few minutes later, as River scooped the rather sizable pile of chocolates into her own.
"Sure." River agreed, at the same time as the Doctor replied with "I don't know that that's a good idea, Pond."
"Why not?" Amy blinked at the Doctor. "You're not playing strip poker."
"Not this time." River winked at Amy, enjoying her mother's embarrassed laugh and the Doctor's flush.
"Well, no," the Doctor almost choked on his words, "but—but your daughter is cheating!"
"So is her son-in-law." River pointed out cheekily, leaning forward to collect his cards. "Besides, Amy can keep up with us. It's Rory that I'd worry about in that respect." She assured him as Amy snatched the deck of cards from her hand.
The Doctor blinked. "What?"
River pushed about a third of her pile of M&Ms toward her mother. "Who do you think taught me to cheat at poker?"
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Sparkly Faerie