I don't own Evangelion in any way and whatnot. Don't think this is a Shinji x Kaworu fic by the way, it's alot more in depth than that. Please review and tell me what you think. Thanks. By the way this takes place after whatever happened at the end of Evangelion, not the movie but the tv series. Lets just think he didn't choose instrumentality and everyone still had their bodies. Yup yup there ya go.

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Woe is Me...

The sky still looked the same. The clouds were still as white as before. I shielded my eyes from the sun peeking through the half opened blinds in my bedroom. Yet another day. Why is it another day? I thought I was happy after it all ended but it proved only to be a faint moment of time. Yes I smiled, and I thanked them all, but we still parted ways and I was left all alone. Why is it another day? I hate my life.

Story: Woe is Me

Chapter 1: Introduction, A Path Chosen By God

Job 10:15: If I be wicked, woe unto me; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head. I am full of confusion; therefore see thou mine affliction.

It had been exactly five years since I last saw everyone. I stared at my hand. The contours, the shadows they still amazed me. Anything could be done with these hands. These hands have caused murder, pleasure, and have fulfilled all the needs I could ever want. But even with hands, we are all still unhappy. The bus hit a bump and my head thumped against the metal insides of the bus. I cringed and rubbed my head.

This always happens. I relive the same day everyday. I follow a specific schedule and no matter how I try to break it, I simply can't. I've got a job, I've got school, I've got obligations to follow through with. I lifted my head and looked out the window. I glance at figures that pass by too fast to decipher. I moved away from Tokyo-3 as fast as I could. I was going to college like any other Japanese kid should. I had relationships and friendships but they all slipped from these fingertips of mine. Lost jobs, fake friends, and meaningless lovers.

I remembered when I was fourteen, opening and closing my hand, I was determined then but my feelings quickly changed. Not once did my father look my way and I never received kind words from him. I can't forgive him for what he did to mother and then Rei. I missed her. I'll always regret being afraid of her near the end. I avoided her along with everyone else and now I'll never be able to see her again. Who knows what happened to Asuka but she certainly had to had left Japan. The only person that stayed was Misato. My guardian, possibly the loneliest woman I had ever met. And then mother…I needed them all.

"Why am I doing this," I muttered to myself. Because no one told me not to, I told myself. "Asuka, Misato, Rei…Mother…I still need you." Tears dripped from my eyes and I wiped them quickly hoping that no one else in the bus noticed even though it was relatively empty. Suddenly something caught my eye when I glanced outside again. Gray hair, white skin, red eyes and that wide smile. The bus still moved too fast so I didn't know if I was going crazy or not. "Kaoru?" My heart beat quickly. He was like Rei. That must mean… I stood up quickly and oddly enough we had just arrived at a bus stop. I stumbled a little when the bus stopped but I gained my balance immediately and ran out the small opening of the bus at the objection of the driver.

I looked through a crowd of unknown faces, desperately searching for the one I recognized all too well. It was to no avail but something was still pulling me to keep on walking in the direction I had seen him. I pondered why I was searching for him. Was I that lonely? Was I that desperate for some small bit of hope?

Kaoru Nagisa, the first person who ever understood me and also the last. My memories of him were as fresh as ever, the conversations, absolutely everything. He had told me "I love you". Three words I had never heard in my life. I found myself running as fast as I could and sure enough I saw him. I nearly skidded on the pavement. He stared at me and smiled even wider. I stood there frozen but he abruptly turned away and went down the stairs to the train station. I didn't ask any questions and followed him.

I had to dodge all the oncoming people while trying to see where Kaoru would lead me to next. I caught a glimpse of him walking into the train. Suddenly a gruff voice called for my attention. I turned to see that the voice was coming from the booth. "Excuse me sir! You need to pay for a ticket."

"Uhh which train is going to leave right now?"

Some kid started crying behind me so I couldn't hear what he said but I didn't have enough time to ask. I just handed him some money and he gave me a ticket. I shuffled to the train and to my surprise; it was relatively empty except for a pregnant woman and a couple of businessmen. I clutched onto the strap of my backpack. Where was Kaoru? Did I get into the wrong train? I swore that this was the right one, I thought to myself. The door closed behind me startling me. There was a voice on the intercom, "Now departing to Tokyo-3."