You're a fraud and you know it

But it's too good to throw it all away

Anyone would do the same

You've got 'em going

And you're careful not to show it

Sometimes you even fool yourself a bit it's like magic

But it's always been a smoke and mirrors game

Anyone would do the same

Smoke and Mirrors - Gotye

Writer Gotye 2011

Kate's World

In my world you learn not to trust too easily. The smoke, the mirrors — they are all an illusion - a darkness, a deception, a misdirection - in which it is all too easy to you lose your true sense of self. If you know enough of the right people, are seen in the right places, can spin the right spin, then it is easy to blur the lines between right and wrong. However, if you are aware of the games being played, then deception is often easy to recognize in others. The false platitudes, the disingenuous smiles, the fake flattery. It is a truism - the more beautiful the people, the uglier their lies. Look - can you see? A moment of hesitation, followed by a backhanded compliment loaded with envy, and a touch of lust lurking just beneath the surface.

This is the world I was born into. I attended the right schools, lived in the right neighborhoods, knew the right people. It was all about networks. Whose version of 'right'? Well — theirs? Yours? Ours? Who knows?

Mine is a media family. My father and grandfather built empires in global media, doing their time at the news desk before ascending the throne to rule their fiefdoms. I always knew I wanted to end up here. Partly because I have a nose for a good story and partly because I have a deep desire to hold the mirror up to the world. I know the secrets, I smell their crap, I know where to dig.

To the world I am just another one of the beautiful people. Connected, well-educated, well-spoken. My looks open doors, even more than trading on my father's name. I am not afraid to use either.

So when an enigma like Christian Grey walks through this world, I feel the need to crack his code. We are similar, he and I. Too attractive for the rest of the world to leave alone. Too aware of how they perceive that beauty to trust others. Keeping a distance, keeping secrets. He comes from a family of beautiful people; his mother - a doctor, his father - a lawyer, his brother and sister talented, successful and beautiful like him. They flit through our world of shadows and light, assuming a mantle of philanthropy but I know there are secrets and lies underneath. There always are.

My feet straddle the border between two worlds. One I was born into and one where I breathe. That second world is a simpler one, where caring and hard work count. Where good friends can be relied upon. Where the secrets are harder to keep. My good friend, my best friend Ana, lives in this other world. Refreshingly welcome in my life, she doesn't lie, she doesn't pretend, she doesn't watch with envy waiting for me to fall. There's no competition because she lacks guile. She simply doesn't see that she could command in that other world. For her, it as a space I inhabit, apart from her, and she seems to like it that way. Friends like Ana are hard to find. I cherish that friendship as I would a sister.

So it is with a sense of foreboding that I sent her stumbling into his world on my behalf. I had no choice. It was the interview of a lifetime and I was too sick to lift my head off the pillow. Ana was my back up plan. I deliberately told her nothing about him, reasoning that the less she knew the safer she would be. In and out. Get the story and never set foot there again. How wrong could I be?

A/N:

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

These characters and the canon storyline belongs to EL James. The character motivations and alternative plotlines are from my imagination and are shaped by the wonderful reviewers and Betas who challenge and assist me in so many ways.

Song Lyrics are the property of the original writers and artists.

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