Author's Note:

SPOILERS AHEAD for the end of Vampire Knight Guilty and up to Chapter 7 of the manga.

I was working on my other stories when I stumbled across this in my files, and I had honestly forgotten that I had written this quite a while ago. It is a mental letter, of sorts, to Zero.

This is a short one-shot, focusing on Yuuki's more distressing thoughts after the last episode of the anime, since I haven't read enough of the manga to confidentially base it on that. I know that as she and group leave, she seems to have "accepted" this change in his attitude really easily. So, for the sake of the plot, let's pretend that the full force of what has happened hits her in the car on the way to the Kuran mansion.

Onward to the story!

STANDARD DISCLAIMER:

I do not own Vampire Knight, nor do I profit in any monetary way from this story. It is written for my and others enjoyment, and I am taking creative liberties with the characters. The only character that is mine is Ms. Himura. Vampire Knight and Vampire Knight Guilty are property of Viz Media and Matsuri Hino. Support them buy purchasing manga and DVDs legally from your favorite retailer! The rating is posted above, and I cannot be held responsible if a reader who is too young reads this story without permission.

xxxxxx

Around me are many sounds, but all that I hear clearly is your voice in my mind. The constant hum of the engine and the idle chatter of those around me fade into mindless chatter. There is only your voice, echoing across the interior of the vehicle, telling me that you intend to kill me, one day.

Gone are the innocent days, when I thought our friendship would last forever. The happy times have faded into memories, when I would try to get you to laugh. Sometimes I would succeed, enjoying the sound of your laughter while it made its precious appearance. Mostly you just gave me a subtle smile, but that was enough for me. You kept me grounded in the not always pleasant reality of this world, teaching me how to defend myself from the monsters that haunted my dreams. You were my protector, and my friend.

My naïve vision of the future has been shattered like glass all around me, and it's all because of what I am.

A bump in the road. It jars me from my private thoughts, leading me to remember to keep a brave face for the others in the vehicle. It is strange being in their company, as if I had always been there. There was an imaginary line between us before I changed; they were the vampires, and I was a human. Now, I am one of them, as I should have been my whole life. Not only am I a vampire, but I am a pureblood, the rarest kind. When they had once looked upon me with indifference, irritation, and even hostility, they now gaze at me with a wonder in their eyes mixed with fear. To them, I am someone to be respected, and they keep their subtle distance.

Hanabusa asks about where we are going, and Kaname vaguely replies. You are mentioned in passing, of how you defeated Rido.

I feel angry.

I feel betrayed.

How could you? How dare you? After all that we have been through, and all that I have done to show I still care about you, how can you hate me so easily? I didn't ask to be what I am, yet you punish me for it. I am now a name on a list to be hunted and nothing more. Instead of Yuuki the friend, I am Yuuki the pureblood, arrogant and manipulative.

A former friend. A distant, bittersweet memory. A former love.

I am still here! Can't you see me? Can you not see that the Yuuki you know has shaped the being that I am today? I was willing to do anything to save you from yourself! I trusted you. I protected you. I loved you in my own way, regardless of how aware I was of my feelings, and for you to say that we cannot see each other until you pull the trigger is heartbreaking.

I keep the tears from falling in the car, feeling Kaname's concerned gaze on me, periodically. I feel a weight on my heart that you will always be a part of.

Your sad, lavender eyes, soft as the coming dawn, and your glistening, silver hair will forever be in my memory. If I had stayed human, would you have acted on your feelings that I felt so strongly in your blood?

If I had stayed human, how would I have acted? Who would I have chosen? What would I have done if I had realized this nearly impossible decision was before me, demanding that I answer it before it was too late?

If I had chosen to stay with you after my transformation, and not my long-lost love, would you have allowed it? Would it have worked, with a hunter in close relations with a pureblood? Deep down, I know the answer is probably no. It would have been a very quarrelsome relationship, with many difficulties between us and with others. A hunter, one who would probably become head of the Association, having a pureblood descended from the royal family as a lover sounds contradictory, even amusing, and maybe tragic.

Kaname looks at me knowingly, yet he does not pry into my thoughts as we continue the journey to my real home. He holds my hand gently, stroking it in a calming fashion without the others seeing. I am thankful for Kaname's patience and silent understanding, though it breaks his heart to know that I am mourning over you. Part of my heart is bleeding for yours, and it may always.

I know it is best not to dwell on things I cannot change (as you informed me many times before), so I will heal my wounds and try to live my new life. When the time is right, I will marry my eternally patient Kaname, who has loved me from afar for so many years. I love him deeply, yet, I know you will still hold a piece of my heart for the rest of my existence.

I will run forever, if I have to, and defend my friends and family to the death if you threaten them. Yet, if you come only for me, I will still hold the hope that the Zero I know will show his face, however briefly, through your shining, opal eyes.

You are now Zero the hunter – dangerous, cold, and predatory to my kind. I am Yuuki Kuran – pureblood vampire, future queen of the vampire race, and fiancée to Kaname Kuran.

One day you will find me, prepared to exterminate me with your Bloody Rose, and I'll be waiting for you with a smile.

xxxxxxx

I hope you enjoyed it! Honestly, after all that the two of them had been through over the last 4 (?) years, I think she would have been more affected by him (in the anime) promising to hunt her down, especially since she is an emotional girl, anyway.

Reviews are appreciated!